35. Dylan
35
DYLAN
E yes closed, ears open, heart steady. That was how music was meant to be listened to. Live music was always my preference, but I couldn’t deny the pure joy of a good DJ set, either. They were masters of their craft. They knew what they were doing. Orchestrators of emotions.
As I closed my eyes and tried to feel how this DJ was spinning our mood, I pondered what the aim was. It wasn’t bad , but it all seemed to hit kind of the same note. Maybe that was okay. I wasn’t a DJ myself, so maybe they knew what was going on.
Unfortunately, another fifteen minutes later, and I wasn’t any closer to figuring that out. All the beats sort of sounded alike, and I felt myself feeling the pull of boredom. I may not have been a DJ, but I knew it wasn’t their job to bore people. Maybe everyone else didn’t care about that kind of thing, maybe they were just taking it in as background noise. What a bummer.
I walked away, a little heave of disappointment leaving me as I did. I hated a lack of passion more than anything, but I couldn’t ask them to change it, now could I? This was their show, let them spin their lackluster records in peace.
“Hey, Dylan. You cool?” Alex asked, appearing at my side. He gestured to a nearby table and went to take a seat.
I followed him, sitting down and looking out at the river. It was pretty like this, out on the boat. Ripples flowed everywhere we went, and I glanced to the sky all full of clouds.“Cool, cool. Not great beats.”
He laughed. “Yeah, I don’t get techno much myself. I mean…it suits the right mood, I guess, but not what I’d go for.”
I nodded, thinking about it. Alex didn’t strike me as the techno type, anyway. He looked like a guy who’d listen to grunge, maybe, or classic rock. “I like boats. Ever thought of living on a boat?”
His lips twitched in amusement. “No, not really. I mean, they have to be sort of convenient. You have a way to travel and a house all at once, right? Could be worse.”
“True, but then you’d have the whole…rocking thing all the time. Ooh…wait, no, maybe that’s a perk. Rock you to sleep. Unless you get motion sickness…but if that was the case, why would a boat be a good idea in the first place?”
“Fair points, fair points. Are you motion sick?” he asked, tilting an eyebrow.
“Nah, I don’t get that.” Skateboarding would be a bad time if I did.
He nodded. “You’ve been kind of…I don’t know. Dare I say there’s been something different about you lately?” Alex said, staring at me as though he was going to find the answer if he stared long enough.
What was he trying to get at? “Well, I guess international weather can do that to a man.”
He looked amused again. “Maybe. Nothing’s going on?”
I shrugged. “Am I on trial?”
“Of course not. Just asking as a friend.”
“Isn’t that what they say in the cop shows before they make an arrest?”
“Only the shady cops do that, and I’m not a cop.”
“We do go to SVU…are you about to get me, Stabler?”
Alex stared at me for a long moment. Like he was trying not to laugh, or maybe trying his best not to get frustrated. “Shithead. No, I was just trying to make conversation.”
“A rather pointed conversation, officer.” I grinned at him. “Things are fine. Nothing is really…different. Maybe summer. Maybe your time with the Italian Stallion lawyer changed you . Ever think of that? Or maybe Shane has already jaded you? Hm?”
“Oh yeah? Wow, you think highly of your friends, don’t you? Maybe you need to find a little love and stop being so bitter.” He laughed, though there was no heat at all in his voice.
I snorted. “I’m just realistic. Out of all of us, I think I’m the only one that truly is.”
“You don’t think Shane is realistic? He claims he is.”
“ Claims . You should know better, Mr. Lawyer.”
Alex hummed. “Touché. Okay, if you don’t want to talk about it, then I won’t push you.”
What was his deal? How did he think he knew me well enough to say one way or another what was normal for me? It was weird, but on some level, it was nice. My friends cared, but I didn’t always tell them a lot — except for Brad — so they didn’t push. Alex didn’t know me like that, so maybe it struck him differently.
I stood from the table and walked off toward the DJ booth again. There wasn’t an aim or a goal. I just wanted to be away from that intense stare, like he was wondering something. Once I thought about it, though, I realized I just wanted to see Brad. I glanced around the boat, and spotted a familiar, hulking shape standing in shadows by himself.
Frowning, I pivoted from where I’d been heading to the DJ and approached him, leaning against the railing as I looked down into the river.“Hey.”
His head turned, and his lips curved into a smile. He held a drink, dangling over the side of the boat. “Hey yourself. Having fun?”
I glanced at him — he was even more beautiful than the water. “Mm, it’s okay. The DJ sucks, though.”
Brad laughed, the sound of his deep voice carrying. “Yeah, it’s not great.”
“It all sounds the same…hate it. Everyone seems to be having fun, though.”
“Yeah, Shane has already had way too much to drink. He was doing shots with Theo after they danced, and Theo kept handing him his.”
I shook my head, amused. “Sounds about right. It’s nice. There’s more people here right now, but…you know, it’s nice. I like seeing our friends happy.”
Brad hummed. “You’re happy?”
I glanced at him, my lips curving into a smile. “Of course.”
He took a step closer, his warm body pressed close to mine. “Me too.”
If only we were alone, or if only the rest were as drunk as Shane. I wanted to kiss him, wanted to press myself close to him here on the boat. Why did we have to keep things a secret again? It was supposed to make it just for us, but what was the sense of prolonging it? I didn’t know about Brad, but I didn’t mind letting the world know we were more than just friends who may or may not have fucked sometimes. Shane would already give us that knowing look, but since he’d done his best to stay out of our business or tell us what to do, he’d try to be demure about his thoughts, but his eyes told everything.
Theo probably wouldn’t even care. Would Alex think that would explain my behavior he’d thought was different? Would Charlie work up the nerve to say anything about it? Would Jason or Micah care? Probably not on all fronts.
That was okay, though, because I didn’t need them to understand. Hell, even I still didn’t understand half the time why Brad wanted to be with me, but I’d be damned if I’d let anything change it.