Somebody's Darling

Chapter 36

Armed with security codes and knowledge of the maids’ schedules, Jesse found it easy to slip into a vacant room in the Days Inn for a quick shower. Though he’d never taken a shower with actual running water before, he’d seen enough TV commercials to know how they worked. He was careful to get the temperature right before he stepped in.

The clean water felt wonderful against his skin. The shampoo and soap smelled so good, and he was so glad he wouldn’t have to meet Lucy tonight smelling like a filthy, sweaty soldier. You got used to the smell of other soldiers in camp, but a delicate flower like Lucy deserved so much better. He was grateful that Joel had suggested he take a shower.

Jesse remembered his other suggestion. He closed his eyes and thought of Lucy. He fantasized about what would happen that night. He reached down between his legs and began stroking himself as he thought about what it would be like to undress her. He thought of unbuttoning her blouse, revealing those lovely, milky-white breasts with soft, pink nipples…

Jesse grunted as the force of his first orgasm in forever took hold of him. The sensation was so intensely pleasurable that it almost hurt.

What was that, ten seconds?

So far, Joel’s advice was spot-on. It would have been humiliating to finish so quickly with Lucy. She would have understood, but she deserved a man in bed, not someone with the endurance of a sixteen-year-old boy.

Jesse continued washing up in the shower for a while, then masturbated again as soon as he was physically able to. It took him much longer to come this time, which made him feel more confident. His third orgasm of the day would happen with Lucy later that night, preferably after he’d given her one.

He turned off the water and toweled off. Jesse rinsed his mouth with the tiny hotel bottle of mouthwash on the sink, then went into the other room. He looked at his dirty uniform shirt and gray pants and knew he had no choice but to put them back on. His clothes didn’t seem to smell all that bad and, with luck, he wouldn’t be wearing them for long anyway.

He looked up and stared at his reflection in the hotel mirror. He definitely looked cleaner, better. He looked into his own eyes for a moment. He’d suffered with so much guilt and self-doubt for so long, but Lucy made him feel better and more at peace. He thought of his beautiful rose, with her soft skin, pretty brown hair, and gentle brown eyes. That amazing woman was in love with that man in the mirror. Maybe he wasn’t such a bad guy after all.

* * *

Jesse showedup at the Tavern at 6:30 p.m., and Lucy was ready to go. She’d managed to get done a little early.

“Look at you!” she said admiringly when he showed up at the front door of the tavern. “You’re so clean!”

Lucy ran her fingers through his fluffy brown hair. She was still getting used to seeing him without his slouch hat, which he now held in his hand since he was in the presence of a lady.

“Yeah. I had a shower.”

“How did you manage that?”

“Days Inn.” He lowered his voice and added, “I know the door codes there, too,”

Lucy laughed, still touching his hair with great affection. “I bet a shower felt pretty good to you.”

“Yeah, it sure did.” And not just because I jerked off twice thinking about you.

“Let’s go!” she said, eagerly taking his hand and leading him to her car, which was parked down the street. She opened the car door on the passenger side for him.

“Dangit!” he said. “I should have opened the car door for you. I jus’ didn’t think of it.”

“You’re forgiven, darling. It’s your first car ride, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. A lot of firsts for me today,” he said with a nervous smile.

Lucy slid behind the wheel. She helped him with his seatbelt, then squeezed his hand before starting the car. They rode in silence for a few moments, and Jesse kept his hand on her knee the whole time. They both wanted to touch each other as much as possible.

Jesse suddenly stiffened a bit, staring straight ahead. Lucy glanced over and saw him white-knuckling the car door handle with his right hand.

“You all right, Jesse?”

Jesse nodded, still looking ahead. “We’re about to leave the town of Gettysburg. I ain’t gone this far in 150 years. I’m jus’… I’m not sure what will happen.”

Lucy drew in a breath as they drove over the town line. She exhaled as soon as they crossed the road out of town. Jesse looked over and grinned at her.

“I’m still here!” he said with relief. He looked out at the scenery. It was nothing exciting, but it was different. It was wonderful.

Jesse was excited, but was getting more nervous by the second. He wanted so badly to please Lucy. He wanted to try all the things Joel had taught him, but what if he messed it all up? He remembered the look of desire in Lucy’s eyes when he pushed her against the wall to kiss her. She obviously loved it when he was strong, dominant, masculine. He wanted to be like that in bed for her. He needed to appear confident no matter how scared he was.

They entered her apartment and she put her keys down. “This way,” she said and led him straight to the bedroom.

Jesse glanced around the apartment as he followed her to the bedroom. It was quiet, so he figured Theresa wasn’t home.

Once inside her bedroom, Lucy stood in front of Jesse and wrapped her arms around him. She looked up at him. “Are you nervous?” she asked.

He considered lying, but figured she would know the truth anyway. “Extremely,” he admitted.

Lucy caressed his cheek and said, “Please don’t be afraid of me.”

Jesse smiled as they shared a knowing look. She was repeating the same words he’d said to her as they stood at his grave.

Jesse leaned down and kissed her, and she eagerly kissed back. Her lips still on his, she managed to kick off her shoes.

Lucy ran her fingers through his hair as she kissed him. He began to unbutton her blouse, then slipped his right hand over her breast and she moaned softly. She reached around back and unhooked her bra for him. Good thing, because Joel hadn’t told him how to take off a woman’s bra.

He slid off her blouse, then pulled her bra the rest of the way off. He looked down at her breasts, then back up at her face. “You’re a beautiful woman, Lucy.”

She smiled shyly, then reached over and slid down his suspenders. She slipped off his white shirt and admired his naked chest. Jesse saw the hint of worry on her face as she looked at how thin he was. He would have given anything to be more muscular for her, but there was nothing he could do about that now. She took off his pants and underwear, and he gently stripped away the rest of her clothes.

Jesse guided her toward the bed, still kissing her. He pushed her down and lay on top of her for a moment. She looked into his eyes with breathless anticipation. Next, he climbed off her and lay down next to her.

This was the moment of truth. He steadied his breath, determined not to let her feel how nervous he was. He kissed her again, then slid his hand down the length of her body. He rested his hand on the mound between her legs. Lucy took a deep breath. Next, Jesse slid two fingers inside of her. She let out a soft moan, then closed her eyes and spread her legs wider to let him get deeper inside. Jesse’s confidence soared. He stroked upward, gently at first, then a bit harder.

“Oh, Jesse,” Lucy said in a sultry voice.

Her eyes were still closed, and Jesse used it as an opportunity to look at her down there. He gently spread the folds outside of her vagina, and saw the spot Joel had told him about. Women’s bodies were fascinating! As gently as possible, he ran his thumb across that special area.

“Ah!” Lucy cried out as her eyes flew open. For a moment, Jesse wasn’t sure if he’d pressed too hard. Was that a cry of pleasure or pain? “Oh, Jesse…it feels so good when you touch me there.”

Jesse smiled at her, continuing to rub her with his thumb.

“Ah! Ah!” Lucy cried again. She looked up at him, her lovely brown eyes pleading with him to keep going. “Oh, Jesse. I need you…”

Lucy looked up into Jesse’s handsome face. She saw the unmistakable pride as he stroked her between her legs. She’d fully intended to encourage him during their first time together, to call out his name and tell him how good he was no matter what. Now she found she didn’t have to fake anything. His touch felt divine. He was so attuned to her, so intent on pleasing her that it didn’t take him long to figure out how to touch her in just the right way.

Jesse kept rubbing her with his thumb, fairly sure that he could give her an orgasm just by doing that. He didn’t want to, though. He couldn’t imagine how frustrating it must have been for her to have a boyfriend who couldn’t touch her, and the last thing he wanted to do was tease her, but he really wanted to go down on her. He wanted to give her as much pleasure as he could. He pulled his hand away before he pushed her too far over the edge.

There was a flicker of disappointment on her face, but then she whispered, “I want to touch you, too.” She sat up. She reached down between his legs and stroked his penis, then gently massaged his testicles.

Jesse lay back on the bed and groaned, a deep, manly sound that turned Lucy on even more. She stroked him up and down and asked, “Has anyone ever touched you there before?”

He opened his eyes and looked at her. “Besides me? No.”

Lucy laughed gently as she continued stroking him. Jesse realized if he hadn’t touched himself so much already today, he would have exploded the moment her gentle, feminine fingers began massaging him. Her strokes were perfect, almost too good. No question that she could finish him off just like this, and he wasn’t about to let that happen.

Jesse sat up on the bed and pushed Lucy down on her back. He climbed on top of her and she looked up at him with that same look of lust she’d had back at the tavern when he pushed her against the wall.

“Are you ready?” she whispered, her face full of love and tender concern.

“Almost,” Jesse said, nuzzling her neck. “Something I gotta do first…”

He kissed down her neck, her shoulders, her breasts. His kisses traveled farther south, until he reached the mound between her legs. He heard her suck in her breath. His tongue explored her body. It was harder to find the spot now than it had been earlier with his fingers. But he found it.

“Oh, God, Jesse. Right there!” she cried out.

Jesse gently massaged her most intimate spot with his tongue. “Ah! Ah! Ah!” Lucy cried out. Jesse loved that sound she made when he touched her just right.

“Oh Jesse, oh Jesse,” she pleaded. “Don’t stop, darling. Please don’t stop…Jesse…Jesse…”

She’ll probably be screaming your name….

Lucy lay back, legs spread, lost in the blissful pleasure Jesse was giving her. She could hardly believe the sounds that were coming out of her mouth; they were completely involuntary. She felt out of control in the most wonderful way. She could only let go and be so expressive with a man that she loved and trusted completely. The pleasure was more intense than anything she had ever known, and his strokes were almost perfect.

“Faster,” Lucy pleaded, and Jesse eagerly complied. Her pleasure intensified, and the rapid flicks of his tongue pushed her over the edge. She threw back her head and surrendered to the most glorious orgasm she’d ever experienced. The sensation seemed to go on forever, and she gripped the sheets in her fists and passionately cried out his name. She gently pushed Jesse’s head away when she couldn’t take any more.

Jesse climbed back up to her while she caught her breath. “My God, Jesse!” She looked at him with a mixture of surprise and relief. He was overjoyed that he’d been able to please her. “That was incredible. No one’s ever done that for me before.”

He gently stroked her cheek with the back of his hand. “Well, I’m honored to be your first.” He nuzzled her neck, relishing the warmth and comfort of her soft skin.

Lucy could feel his hardness pressing against her. He’d been such a generous lover, and she didn’t want him to have to wait another second for his own pleasure. She looked into his eyes. “Take me, Jesse.”

He grinned at her. “Oh, yes, ma’am.”

Jesse slowly, sensually slid himself into position on top of her. They looked into each other’s eyes, knowing what a significant moment this was. He pressed himself against her opening, then slid himself inside. He didn’t get all the way in at first, and Lucy saw the flicker of panic on his face.

“It usually takes a few tries to go all the way in,” Lucy lovingly explained. “I’m small, and…” She glanced down between his legs. “And you’re pretty big.”

Jesse smiled, grateful for the compliment and comforted that she never made him feel like less of a man because of his inexperience. He pushed a few more times, then slammed into her harder than he meant to. He was about to apologize but Lucy interrupted.

“Ah! Oh yes, Jesse. Just like that.” She closed her eyes and moaned.

Jesse remembered that Joel said he could stroke pretty hard and it would probably feel good to her, so that was what he did. The harder he thrust, the more she cried out with pleasure. He was sure to lean down and kiss her while he made love to her. He felt slightly guilty for driving into her so hard. His intention had been to make love to her slowly and tenderly, at least for their first time. But now it seemed his hormones had taken over, and it felt so damn good to finally be strong and masculine for Lucy. At long last, he was able to make passionate love to the woman he’d waited for all his life…and beyond. Her hair was spread out on the pillow, her arms and legs were wrapped around him, and she was crying out his name. Except for the fact that they were in bed instead of on top of the bar, it was just like his fantasy.

Making love with Jesse was as wonderful as Lucy had fantasized, too. She wrapped her arms around his neck and shoulders as she surrendered herself to him. He felt so strong, so in control. She’d hungered for his touch for so long, and now her senses were overloaded as she finally experienced all of him. She savored the contours of his arm muscles, relished the sound of his breathless panting, and felt the heat of his sweat as he pounded into her. She cried out in ecstasy, reveling in the pleasurable feel of the hardness of his body inside the softness of hers. She closed her eyes and drowned in the blissful sensation of finally being intimate with the man she loved.

Gasping with effort, Jesse kissed Lucy’s neck, cheek, then mouth. His pleasure intensified and he knew he was getting close. “Lucy, Lucy,” he drawled in her ear. With one final thrust, his whole body shuddered as he experienced his first orgasm with a woman. He grunted aloud as he came, and Lucy gripped him tighter.

Lucy held him tight, relishing the warmth of feeling his seed inside of her. She’d deliberately dispensed with using a condom. Consequences be damned; she’d wanted to feel all of him.

They lay together for a moment, sweaty, satisfied, and more in love than ever. Having sex with the woman he loved was even better than he’d imagined. No doubt about it. Lucy had been worth waiting for.

They held each other close. After exchanging soft “I love yous,” there was no more need for words. After a few moments, Lucy shivered a little, so she got up to put her nightgown on. Jesse remained naked. She climbed back into bed, and Jesse reached for her, pulling her close.

They fell asleep wrapped in each other’s arms. Jesse awoke once during the night, not sure where he was at first. Then he saw Lucy sleeping beside him. He felt like he was finally at home. At peace. He gazed at her as she slept. She looked so delicate, so fragile. I can protect her now, he thought. Now he could be the one to get her safely to her car at night, and he could finally hold her, love her the way she deserved. He drifted back into a restful sleep.

It was morning when he woke again. He was happy to find Lucy awake as well.

“Good morning, soldier,” she said as she wrapped her arms around him. He smiled at her and couldn’t help thinking that she had the happy, satisfied look of a woman who’d been made love to last night. He couldn’t wait to do it again.

It turned out he wasn’t the only one.

Lucy rubbed his shoulders, then his chest, then reached down and stroked him between his legs, getting him hard. He’d been such an incredible lover that first time. She was proud of him. He must have been so nervous, but he didn”t show it much. This morning, Lucy wanted to take charge, take care of him, and give him a stress-free sexual experience.

She slipped down between his legs and put her mouth where her hands had been. Jesse moaned out loud with pleasure. It amused Lucy that even his deep-voiced moans during sex seemed to have that Texas accent.

Jesse closed his eyes and surrendered as Lucy pleasured him. He wasn’t sure how he felt about his beautiful rose doing such a thing to him, but it felt too good for him to tell her to stop. Besides, he knew she wouldn’t do anything that made her uncomfortable.

Jesse felt himself getting to close to orgasm. That was where he drew the line. He would not finish in her mouth. Not now, not ever. He gently tugged on her shoulders, “I’m too close, darlin’. I don’t want to…not like this.”

Ever the gentleman, Lucy thought. She respected his wishes and climbed up to look at him. He started to get up, to get on top of her, but she pushed him back down. “No no, cowboy. I’m not done with you yet.”

Jesse grinned at her with anticipation. Just when he thought Lucy couldn’t possibly get any sexier. She slipped off her nightgown, then straddled him. She relished the look on his face when she slid on top of him, putting him inside her.

“Lucy. That feels so good,” he said. “You’re so beautiful, Lucy…”

She loved how he said her name. She loved how he said everything. She moved herself up and down on him a few times, then leaned down and said, “I love that deep, sexy voice of yours, Jesse,” then she leaned closer and murmured in his ear, “and that accent of yours turns me on like you wouldn’t believe.”

“It does?” Jesse asked, once she sat back up and started moving on top of him again.

“Oh, yeah,” Lucy said in a sensuous voice.

“Then I’ll just have to keep talkin’, darlin’.”

He grinned up at her. Lucy’s rocking motion on top of him, combined with being able to see all of her lovely, naked form drove him wild. It wouldn’t take long for him to finish, that was for sure. He thrust his body upward to meet her motions.

“Ah!” Lucy cried out.

Jesse grinned. He knew exactly what that sound meant. “That’s the spot, ain’t it?” He jerked his hips twice in rapid motion.

“Ah! Maybe,” she said. “It doesn’t matter. I’m taking care of you now.”

Lucy seemed determined to make this sexual experience all about him, but Jesse had other plans. Ladies first, he thought. He jerked his hips upward again. He was already getting to know her body so well that he knew just what to do. Joel had told him that it might be possible for him to hit the right spot when she was positioned on top, and clearly he had.

“Jesse!” she cried, her expression a cross between pleasure and admonishment. “Don’t…”

Of course he kept thrusting, pounding her now that he knew just how to hit that most sensitive spot. He felt Lucy change her motion, grinding differently now. She closed her eyes and moaned as she did it. She’d repositioned herself to maximize her pleasure. She was losing control, and it was the sexiest thing Jesse had ever seen.

“Do it, darlin’,” Jesse said. “I want to watch you. You’re so lovely, darlin’.”

All Lucy could do was moan in between cries of his name. Now that he was hitting just the right spot, he was hopeful that he could give her another orgasm. His own pleasure was so strong, so heightened that it was a struggle to keep himself under control. But she was close, so close… Please let me get her there….

The bed slammed against the wall as Jesse continued thrusting upwards into her again and again and Lucy moved her hips in perfect rhythm with him. “Jesse… Jesse… Jesse… Oh, God!”She threw her head back and cried out as she came, her long hair touching his knees. Watching Lucy have an orgasm was the most exciting thing Jesse had ever seen. Seconds later, he gripped her hips and groaned as he came, too, emptying himself inside her.

Panting, Lucy climbed off him and collapsed on the bed. “God, that was good. Jesse, you’re amazing…”

“So are you, my love. So are you.” Jesse wrapped his arms around her, and they held each other close. After they caught their breath, he spoke again as he caressed her hair. “I should have been more careful. What if I got you pregnant?”

“Then I’ll have your baby.” She said it as if it was the most natural thing in the world. To her, it was. If Jesse crossed over, his child would be all she had left of him.

Jesse stroked her cheek tenderly. He couldn’t think of a sight more beautiful than Lucy, round and pregnant with his child. Their child. But what if he crossed over? He had terrible visions of her working hard as a single mother, taking on extra shifts at the restaurant, maybe even having to give up her dream of being a teacher. And he couldn’t help but think of Joel and his anguish over the child he never knew.

“It’s okay, Jesse,” Lucy said, seeing his worry. “It’s not likely that I’m pregnant, and we’ll use something next time, okay?” She knew it was a risk to have unprotected sex with him, but she had wanted so desperately to feel all of him, in case it was her only chance. She also knew it was the wrong time in her cycle to get pregnant, but it was certainly possible.

Jesse nodded. Lucy got up and started to get dressed. “I got you a toothbrush and some stuff to shave with.” She’d run out to the local pharmacy on a quick break during her shift yesterday to get everything she thought he might need.

“That’s very thoughtful, love. Thank you.”

“They’re in the bathroom. Let me know if you need help, okay?”

“Okay.” He’d never used a modern toothbrush before, but he was pretty sure he could figure it out. He ran his fingers over his rough chin; his beard had come in a lot since yesterday. Incredible, he thought.

Lucy went to the kitchen. She started the coffee and made pancakes while she waited for Jesse to join her. He appeared in the kitchen, naked from the waist up. He wore only his pants, not wanting to put on the rest of his filthy uniform.

“Mmmm,” Lucy said, admiring his chest.

Jesse put a hand over his heart. “I’ve never seen a sight more beautiful.” With that, he walked right past Lucy and put his hand lovingly on top of the coffeemaker. Lucy burst out laughing. “This…this…is an incredible invention. It smells so good.”

Lucy walked over and grabbed the biggest mug she could find and filled it for him. “How do you take it?”

“Sugar,” he said simply.

He sat down at the table, and she gave him the mug and a bowl of sugar. Her eyes widened as she watched him heap seven full spoons of sugar into it. Jesse took a big sip, then held the mug to his cheek like it was precious to him. Lucy chuckled and went back to work on the pancakes.

The door opened, and Theresa walked into the apartment. Jesse jumped up from his seat and went to see her.

“Theresa! I’m so sorry we kicked you out of your home last night.”

Theresa raised an eyebrow, then looked past Jesse at Lucy. Lucy held a hand over her heart and mouthed, Oh, my God, which was her way of reporting on their sexual activity. Theresa stifled a giggle.

Jesse looked down at his naked chest. “I’m sorry I’m not decent!” he said, looking sincerely apologetic for being so inappropriately dressed in front of a lady; at least one he wasn’t sleeping with. He put his arms around his torso in an attempt to cover himself.

Theresa looked at his chest admiringly. “You hear me complaining?”

Jesse smiled at her. He knew she was just being nice. He was sure she’d have much preferred Joel’s muscles over his scrawny figure.

Theresa stared at his chest for a moment, then jabbed him on the shoulder with her finger. She grinned as she made solid contact with his form. “Welcome back, baby!” She threw her arms around him, and he squeezed her tight.

Theresa was such a nice girl, and it felt wonderful to be able to give her a warm hug. He embraced her so hard he lifted her off her feet for a moment. She laughed as he set her down again.

“I’m gonna go get dressed,” Jesse said, leaving the two women to talk. About him, he rather hoped.

“So...” Theresa said in a low voice after he’d gone.

“Oh, my God, ’Resa. He was amazing. No one’s ever made me scream like that,” Lucy confessed, her face coloring a little.

“I knew it. I knew he was gonna be great in bed.”

“How did you know? I mean, he was, you know…”

“A virgin?” Theresa said. “Oh, honey. Male virgins feel like they have something to prove! Oh, but it’s more than that. He’s just so sweet and he loves you so much. I knew he would be really wonderful and attentive.”

“Oh, he was…”

“He did it for you, didn’t he?” Theresa asked with a twinkle in her eye. She’d been telling Lucy for years that a real man went down on his woman, that there was no feeling like it. She always told her she didn’t know what she was missing.

“And how…”

Therese giggled, thrilled for her friend. There was a hint of worry on her face. The unspoken truth hung heavily in the room. Was Jesse here to stay, or was he just one step closer to crossing over?

* * *

Lucy didn’t haveany more classes for the summer, but she still had to work. She drove Jesse to the main part of town, then they walked together so he could hang out with Fillis and Joel while she worked her shift. They found the two in their usual spot on the steps.

Joel stood up and pulled Jesse aside while Lucy talked quietly with Fillis.

Eyes wide, Joel asked in a quiet voice, “So? How did it go? Did you make her…”

“Twass,” Jesse drawled with pride, a huge grin on his face.

“Bully!” Joel whispered in a hoarse whisper so Lucy wouldn’t hear. “Bully for you!” He punched Jesse in the shoulder. It felt like being hit with an ice ball.

The two soldiers joined Fillis and Lucy. Lucy suddenly felt self-conscious. Everyone here was fully aware that she and Jesse had had sex last night. Everyone knew, and had probably even been talking about it. Lucy was also fairly certain that Joel had told Jesse how to do all those incredible things to her in bed. It had been so wonderful, but it was still so embarrassing for her. It was hard for her to know that her private sex life was common knowledge, even among friends like Fillis and Joel.

Jesse noticed Lucy’s familiar blush and understood why she stood in uncomfortable silence.

“So,” Joel began. Jesse shot him a warning look, but it wasn’t necessary. Joel hated seeing Lucy uncomfortable as much as Jesse did, and would never say anything to embarrass her. Instead, he wanted to break the tension. “Lucy.”

Lucy looked up shyly, finding it hard to meet his gaze. “I’m so glad you got a chance to be with him. Nobody thought it would ever be possible, and I know how much he means to you. I’m just…I’m really happy for you both.”

Lucy smiled shyly, appreciating his tactful candor. Still, she inwardly berated herself for not being more like Emma. Emma would never be shy about sex.

“Thanks,” Lucy said. She looked over at Jesse. “He was…amazing.” She blushed deeply, but was still glad she’d said it. She wanted to praise Jesse’s sexual prowess in front of his friends, especially Joel.

Jesse grinned at her, which made any discomfort she felt totally worthwhile.

“Well, I’d better get to work.”

Jesse leaned over and kissed her tenderly, cupping her face in his hands. Joel shook his head, marveling. It was wonderful to see them be able to touch each other! Fillis looked at them the same way, full of happiness for them.

“Oh, by the way,” Lucy dug into her purse, then handed Jesse some money.

“But—”

“Take it, darling. You can go to the Gettysburg outlets and pick out some comfortable clothes. Oh, and…” She lowered her voice. “You should get some condoms, too.”

Joel chuckled audibly, then regretted it. It was obviously a private comment meant for Jesse’s ears only, and he felt awful for laughing.

Lucy felt her face get hot. Then she felt angry, but with herself and not Joel. This is stupid. We’re all adults here. This is ridiculous for me to be so embarrassed.

Feeling bold for once, she spoke louder. “And be sure to get the right size condoms.” She turned to Joel and told him, “It’s true what they say…” With a look back at Jesse, she said, “Everything’s bigger in Texas.”

With that, she slung her purse on her shoulder and turned to walk away before they could see her reddened face.

Jesse’s deep-throated laughter made her smile.

* * *

Joel and Jessecame to the restaurant long before Lucy’s shift was over. It was around 4:30, and she didn’t get off work until eight p.m. As always, she was delighted to see them.

“Look at you!” she cried, as she saw Jesse dressed in civilian’s clothing for the first time. The sight of him took her breath away. He wore blue jeans and a black shirt that made his blue-gray eyes stand out. “You look so handsome! I mean, even more than usual!”

“Thank you, my love,” he said, his voice full of sorrow.

Lucy had been so preoccupied by his new look that she hadn’t noticed how sad he looked. “What’s wrong?”

Joel looked at Lucy and said, “I have to go to Devil’s Den. Right now. I feel…it’s like I’m being called there, pulled there. It’s my time, Lucy.”

Lucy’s heart caught in her throat. She gasped. “Oh, Joel. I’m so happy for you, but I’m gonna miss you so much.”

“Thank you, sweetheart.” Joel sounded sad.

“Aren’t you excited? You’re going to see Emma!”

Joel’s eyes lit up, and she finally saw the joy that was simmering underneath. He was hiding his happiness. But why?

Joel looked at Jesse and said gently, “Tell her.”

“I’m supposed to go, too,” Jesse said. He didn’t look at her as he spoke. He couldn’t bear to see her expression.

Lucy felt like someone had punched her in the gut. She stood there, silent, for a moment. She’d always known this day might come, but since he’d become alive she’d dared to hope that he could stay with her.

“Oh,” she said. She went numb. It was the kind of sudden, stunned shock you might have when a police officer shows up to your house to tell you someone’s been killed in an accident. It took her a moment before she could find the strength to speak. “I-I’ll go with you. To say goodbye.”

Jesse finally met her gaze. His eyes looked haunted, full of agonized grief. The only time she’d ever seen him look like that was when he stood over her when she lay on that rock at Devil’s Den.

“I’ll tell my boss I have to go. That I have a family emergency.” Still numb, she walked over to Mandy and spoke quietly to her. Mandy looked alarmed at Lucy’s expression, then put a hand on her shoulder. Lucy collected her things and joined the soldiers as they walked to Devil’s Den.

Lucy walked next to Joel, with Jesse lagging behind like he was trying to resist the call he felt to go back to the battlefield.

“Are you all right, sweetheart?”

“I feel like I’m going to the hospital to turn off his life support,” Lucy said dully.

“I won’t leave you, Lucy,” Jesse said sternly as he jogged to catch up with them.

“It’s God’s will we’re talking about. You can’t fight it,” Lucy said, struggling to keep her voice even. She wanted to cry out with grief, but she knew she had to pull herself together.

“Damn right, I’ll fight it!” Jesse roared.

Lucy suddenly grabbed him and held him close. She willed herself not to cry. Her voice quavered as she spoke. “You have to go. It’s your time, Jesse. Your work on Earth is done now. You need to go home.”

“My home is with you!”

“No, it isn’t. I hoped it would be, but I guess I was wrong. You’re obviously being called to your real home now.”

Lucy let go of him and started walking with Joel again.

“I won’t go!” Jesse stood there, rooted to the spot.

Joel shot him a panicked look, then turned to look toward Devil’s Den. He looked back at Lucy and said, ”I have to go!”

Fear and adrenaline shot through Lucy. What if this was some kind of window of opportunity and they missed it? Suddenly, she knew just what to do to force Jesse to come with them.

“Well, I’m going. And if you don’t go, Jesse Spenser, so help me God I’ll go stand right next to that rock at the Den where you died. And it’s almost five o’clock.”

“Oh, God, it is almost five. Lucy, no!” Jesse cried out. “You can’t go anywhere near the Den right now!”

Lucy charged forward, and she and Joel both picked up speed. They left Jesse no choice but to follow.

“I won’t leave you, darling. I won’t. I won’t leave you,” Jesse kept repeating.

Lucy did her best to pull herself together. Jesse would change his mind once he saw the portal, once he stepped into that light. The pull was strong from what they’d told her when others crossed over. She had to hold it together until he was gone, or he might not leave and he’d still be trapped here. Once he disappeared, she could fall apart but not until then.

They made it to Devil’s Den. It was deserted. This time of day, there should have been dozens of tourists milling around. There was no one but the three of them present. It was eerie.

“Darling, please. Please don’t go near that rock, “ Jesse pleaded.

Lucy looked over at Joel and was shocked at his transformation. He looked so tranquil, so happy. He had an unearthly calm about him. Lucy was so happy for him. She tried to concentrate on his joy.

“Joel, can you believe you’re about to see her?”

Joel spun around and grinned at her, looking giddy as a schoolboy. “No. I just… I can’t believe it!” He paused for a moment. “Lucy, I think I’m…I think I can…”

Joel reached over and touched her shoulder, and his face split into a huge smile when he made solid contact with her body. He opened his arms and she ran into them, finally getting the hug from him that she’d always wanted.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you for everything. I never would have made it if not for you,” Joel said, as he held her close. He felt huge against her small body, like a big, warm teddy bear. “I love you, sweetheart.”

“I love you, too,” Lucy told him, fighting tears. She knew if she started crying now, she’d never stop. “Go to her. Go to them!”

Joel released her and smiled, gently stroking her hair. “Thanks for not giving up on me. On us. I’ll be watching over you. Always.”

Lucy nodded, tears spilling out of her eyes.

She glanced over at Jesse. “You-you need to take…take him home. Please. He needs to be at peace, too. I mean it, Joel. Pull him over to the other side if you have to.”

“You sure?” Joel asked, still stroking her hair.

“Yes,” she said, doing her best not to break down. “Promise me.”

“I promise. Will you be all right?” Joel asked, looking at her with tender concern.

“Yes. Emma survived somehow. I will, too.”

Joel nodded, then whispered, “Ask her for strength. Call on her for help.”

Lucy nodded, then gasped as a huge light appeared over the rocks of Devil’s Den. Joel turned to look, his face illuminated not just by the light but by what he saw. Lucy couldn’t see into the portal, but she knew what Joel saw just by watching his reaction.

Sure enough, Joel said softly, “Emma…”

Lucy choked back a sob. She cried from happiness and from heartbreak at the same time.

“I’m so sorry,” were the first words Joel spoke to his beloved wife, the words he’d needed to say for far too long. Then he smiled, somehow looking even more serene than he had a moment ago. Lucy knew why. He’d finally gotten the forgiveness he’d ached for.

“Jesse!” Lucy called to him. “Come kiss me goodbye.”

“No. Lucy, I won’t—”

“Please!” Lucy shrieked. “Before it’s too late!”

Jesse knew she was right. What if he had no choice and was forced to cross over? He’d never be able to rest if he left without saying goodbye. He rushed over to her and wrapped his arms around her, feeling her body tremble.

Lucy held him close, grateful for the fact that she could still touch him. She held him close, knowing she was only seconds away from having to let go of him forever.

Jesse cupped her face to his and kissed her.

“I love you,” Lucy whispered.

“I love you, too,” Jesse said. Those words weren’t strong enough for what he was feeling, but he didn’t know what else he could say.

Jesse suddenly dropped his arms and let go of her. He turned and walked toward the portal as if being pulled there. The force must have been strong, because he didn’t even turn to look back at Lucy. The pain that stabbed through her was so severe that for a moment, she thought she might be feeling his death pains again. She’d thought she was prepared for this moment, but how could she be?

Lucy loved him enough to let him go. He needed to be at peace, and she would not stop him just for her own sake. She would grieve for Jesse like all those Civil War wives and sweethearts did all those years ago. Somehow, she would go on because she had to.

Jesse walked up to the portal. When Lucy saw the look of peace on his face, she knew it was right to let him go. The haunted, sorrowful look on his face was gone.

“Mama,” Jesse said tenderly as he looked into the portal.

Lucy covered her mouth and stifled another sob. She knew how much Jesse had ached to see his mother again.

Lucy turned her head when someone called her name. It was Joel. He looked at her as if to say, it’s time. Joel searched her eyes, nonverbally asking her one more time, are you sure?

Lucy nodded. Jesse finally turned to look at her. He still looked peaceful, but she could see he was torn.

“Lucy, my rose…” he said, his voice ethereal, angelic. It was like he was already halfway to heaven. He looked so happy.He wanted, needed to cross over. She had to let him go.

“I love you, Jesse. It’s all right to go,” Lucy managed to get the words out. She didn’t know how she found the strength.

Joel stretched out his hand, and Jesse reached for it.

Lucy closed her eyes. She raised her right hand to the sky and said, “God, please grant my darling soldier’s wishes, and may his soul pass through the South!”

That was all she could manage. She finally broke down, sobbing.

Joel grasped Jesse’s hand and pulled him to the Other Side.