Chapter 37
God, grant my darling soldier’s wishes, and may his soul pass through the South…
It was like Jesse heard Lucy’s words with his head and his heart, rather than through his mortal ears. He could feel her heartbreak as surely as if it were his own. Letting him go was the most selfless, loving act that he could have ever imagined.
You must choose.
It was a voice…THE voice from the other side. It was the Creator, the Master, the perfect, all-loving being.
You must decide.
Jesse realized it was up to him. He could cross over to the other side, or he could stay and live.
The pull to the other side was like having the strongest addiction possible. It was so perfect, so joyful, so wonderful there. There was no pain, no sorrow. Only joy.
Make your choice.
Make your choice.
Joel smiled at Jesse, then he tugged on his hand. Pulling Jesse toward the light.
Make your choice.
Jesse could feel Lucy’s grief. He felt it deep in his soul. My rose.
HER! Jesse screamed in his mind. Her! I choose her! Please! Please!
So it is done,the all-loving Being said. Jesse felt the Being smile, like He was amused at the situation. Jesse felt His love. For him. For Lucy. For the whole world.
Jesse loosened his grip on Joel’s hand and said, “See you on the other side, brother.”
Joel slipped away, crossing over, leaving Jesse behind in his earthly body.
All was silent in Devil’s Den except for the sound of Lucy weeping. She sat on the same rock where she’d lain after suffering the agony of Jesse’s death. She held her head in her hands, her shoulders shaking as she sobbed uncontrollably.
Tenderness overwhelmed Jesse. He thought of all the times Lucy had suffered because of him, all the tears she’d already wept, all the physical and emotional pain she’d endured. Now I have the rest of my life to make up for it.
“Lucy,” he said gently, not wanting to startle her. He spoke too softly, and couldn’t be heard over her sobs. “Lucy.”
Lucy slowly lifted her head, afraid to hope. Jesse smiled as he walked toward her.
“J-J-Jesse?”
She staggered to her feet on wobbly legs.
“I told you I wouldn’t leave you.”
He wrapped his arms around her, and not a moment too soon. Her legs gave out, and he caught her easily in his strong arms.
“It’s okay to faint. I can catch you now.”
“Why-why didn’t you go? You wanted to go!” Lucy stared at him, wondering if this was all a dream. Was he really still here?
“I wanted to go,” he admitted. “But I wanted to spend a lifetime with you first.”
Lucy struggled to think clearly, afraid to believe that this was real. That Jesse was still here, still alive. She looked over to where his portal had disappeared. “You-you gave up Paradise for me…” She didn’t sound flattered. She sounded overwhelmed, frightened even, at the magnitude of his sacrifice.
Jesse gripped her tightly and looked into her eyes. “And you made my heart beat again.”
Lucy looked at him gratefully. He was right. Her love had literally brought him back to life. Surely, that was worth something. She wrapped her arms around him, sobbing into his chest.
Jesse held her and tenderly stroked her hair. “It’s all right now, darlin’. Everything is all right. I’ll be back there someday. We both will. But not for a long time.” He lifted her chin with his hand and leaned down to give her a soft kiss. ”Now, let’s go home.”
With that, Jesse finally swept her off her feet and into his arms. It felt wonderful to finally be physically strong when she needed him to be. He carried her off the battlefield, to safety before his battle wounds could strike her again.
Lucy threw her arms around his neck and clung to his chest, and he could feel her tears soaking his shirt. She snuggled closer to him, next to his heartbeat. He could feel her breathing slow as she began to calm down. He knew she felt safe in his arms.
Carrying her like this made him feel like a groom carrying his bride over the threshold, ready to start their new life together.
The thought made him smile.
* * *
Jesse tookher straight to her bedroom and had planned on just going to sleep. They were both exhausted and emotionally drained. As they lay together, they started kissing and they realized neither one was ready for sleep just yet.
Jesse just wanted to look at her, to remind himself that this wasn’t a dream. He was here to stay. He stared into her eyes, and he slid his fingers down between her legs. She moaned at his touch. He slipped his fingers inside her, stroking upward, then massaged her with his thumb. He knew exactly how and where to touch her now.
It was so slow, so sensual. He continued to stare deeply into her eyes as her pleasure grew. How he loved hearing her panting, her whimpers of delight growing louder as she got closer and closer to climaxing. She only broke eye contact when she reached orgasm, throwing her head back and crying out passionately as she came.
Jesse stroked her face and looked into her eyes. He could hardly believe where he was and what he was doing. He was with Lucy. In their bed. Touching her. Loving her. Those days of watching her from afar, aching to be with her already seemed so long ago.
He made love to her slowly and tenderly, the way he’d intended to the first time. It was wonderful knowing they had time together. There were would be more times like this. Many, many more.
Theresa arrived home to the familiar sounds of the bed squeaking and Lucy’s cries of Oh, Jesse. Oh, God… She rolled her eyes and smiled. Figured they were going at it again. Theresa didn’t mind. She liked having Jesse around. He was sweet and kind and sexy.
All the things Steven wasn’t. Which was why she had decided to break up with him.
It made Theresa tired just thinking about it. Once Jesse and Lucy had finished their activities—for now—she was able to get some sleep.
The next morning, Theresa couldn’t help but tease them.
“It’s like living with the Cinemax channel on all day with you two around.”
Lucy blushed, and giggled. “Sorry, I know we’re loud.”
Jesse shot her a look.
“Okay, I’m loud.”
“Yeah, ya are!” Theresa said. “That’s all right, Jess. That means you’re doin’ it right.”
“We were celebrating,” Lucy said, her face glowing with joy. “I get to keep him, Theresa. He had a choice to cross over or stay. He stayed.”
“You serious?” Theresa asked, poised mid-pour of her coffee.
“Yep. She’s stuck with me now,” Jesse said proudly.
Theresa put down the coffee and grabbed Lucy and hugged her. “Oh, honey. I’m so glad. I’m so happy! Oh, my God, I don’t know what she would have done if you left, Jesse.”
“It wouldn’t have been heaven without my Lucy there.”
“But, Theresa…” Lucy began gently. “Joel…”
“Oh! He’s gone, isn’t he?” Theresa asked.
“Yes,” Lucy said, squeezing Theresa’s shoulders. “I know how much he meant to you.”
Theresa smiled sadly. “Yeah. He was a really good friend. Still, good for him. I’m so glad he made it! I’m really gonna miss him.”
“We all will,” Jesse said softly.
“Damn. I never got a chance to tell Joel that I’m gonna follow his advice,” Theresa said.
“What advice?” Lucy asked.
“I’m gonna break up with Steven.”
“You are?” Lucy was rather shocked, but certainly not upset. “Why?”
“I decided I want what Joel and Emma had. And what you two have. Joel told me I shouldn’t settle.”
“And he’s right, Theresa,” Jesse told her. “You deserve nothing less than great love.”
“Thanks, cowboy.” Theresa punched him affectionately on the shoulder.
“And you know, um, I guess I’m gonna have to be stayin’ here for a while,” Jesse told her uncertainly.
Theresa shot him a stern look. “Okay. You can stay, but I want you to walk around shirtless like you were the other day. I’m gonna need some man candy to look at with Steven gone.”
Jesse laughed and waved her off.
Theresa fixed up her coffee and seemed to be lost in thought.
“You okay?” Lucy asked.
“Me? Oh, yeah. I’ve just been thinking a lot lately… Okay, tell me if this idea is crazy. You did such a great job helping the boys cross over, or at least get to the point where they could cross over. What do you think of the idea of me starting some kind of support group for soldier ghosts? I mean, I’m working on my psychology degree and I’m thinking of focusing on PTSD as a specialty.”
“Hmmm,” Jesse said. “You mean you could form a counseling group for ghost soldiers who fought in the Civil War, help ’em cross over?”
“Yeah.”
Jesse seemed touched by the idea. “Theresa, I think that’s so sweet. I think it’s great. Really, really great. You know who would love that idea?”
“Second Mama,” answered both Lucy and Theresa.
“Yeah. She’d love it if you’d help her boys.”
“Oh! Poor Fillis. She doesn’t even know about Joel yet, does she?” Lucy asked, looking concerned.
“No. We’ll tell her today.”
“She didn’t get to say goodbye,” Lucy said, putting her hand over her heart.
“It’s all right. Believe me. She knew his time was coming and…well…they said what they needed to say,” Jesse put a comforting hand on Lucy’s shoulder.
Lucy breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank God for that.”