Chapter 7
Seven
Paisley
I think about the words I just said to Chase.
Am I glad he did? Especially with it being so soon after I attempted to end my life?
Honestly, yes. It's not as if I'm cured of what bothered me, or completely happy with my life all of a sudden, but I like it here in his house.
I'm thankful to have had the opportunity, and I wouldn't have had it if he hadn't stepped in and saved me.
He clears his throat roughly, and together we keep fixing the breakfast. It's in silence, but it's not one of those awkward situations. I find that I like being here with him. His strong presence props me up, and makes me feel less lonely.
When we're done, he sits back and rubs his stomach. "Thanks for helping."
"You're welcome. It was nice to be a part of a team." Clamping my lips together, I'm afraid I've said too much.
He doesn't say anything as he reaches over and grabs my almost empty plate. "You done?"
"Yeah. Thank you."
When he gets up, it's as if his body takes up the entire space of the kitchen, and all of the air in it too.
I've never met someone with as big of a presence as this man has, and I like it.
When he's done, he turns around so that his back is to the sink.
Crossing his arms over his chest, he looks at me, tilting his head to the side.
"Wanna get out of here today? I've got to go feed my horse, and check on things outside.
That snow is starting to come down harder. "
Glancing out the window, I notice he's right. What had been light flakes earlier are now so thick I can barely see the barn at the back of the property. "I'd love to, are there clothes I can wear?"
"We'll get you situated."
I'm not used to someone taking care of everything for me. With my ex I was always the responsible one, which is why I probably ended up in this mess to begin with.
An hour later we're outside, me wearing layers and a pair of his older coveralls.
He's dressed much the same way, but with fewer layers.
The wind is high as we walk from the cabin to the barn, but he's ahead blocking it as we slowly make our way across.
Once we get inside, I can still hear the noise in my ears.
The barn is small, with just a couple stalls.
In the corner, I see the horse that we rode out on the other day, and I can't help but walk over.
It's as if there's an invisible string between us.
When I get there, he dips his head down, mane flopping, and snorts as he sniffs me.
"Is he nice?" I ask, before I put my hand on his muzzle.
"Yeah, he ain't gonna bite ya or anything."
"What's his name?" I glance back at Chase who has moved over to a pile of hay, and starts lifting it into a wheelbarrow.
"Blackjack, and he loves to have his muzzle rubbed. So if you do that, you're going to have a friend for life."
I grin as I reach over and start rubbing. "Thank you for getting me out of that situation," I tell him.
"He's famous for that," Chase says as he starts putting the fresh hay in his stall. "He's gotten me out of more sticky situations than I can count. Have you ever been around a horse before?"
"No, I'm definitely a city girl at heart." But I can't deny I would like this.
"But I can see it in your face," Chase says as he finishes and stands next to the door to the stall. "You're interested in all of this. Aren't you?"
There's no point in denying it. "I am. It's completely different than what my life was like a few days ago. Maybe that's a good thing though, because my life a few days ago wasn't great."
He opens his mouth and I get the distinct feeling he wants to ask about my life. "Paisley..."
"I know, I owe you an explanation about where I came from and why I was in the field on your property. I realize all of this, and I promise, I'm going to give it to you. Right now though? I just can't. Can you be patient with me?" I'm begging as I look into those dark eyes of his.
"You don't owe me anything," he says quietly. "I was just curious."
"No, I do. You saved me, and it's just human nature to want to know why I was there, and why you had to save me."
He dips his chin into his chest. "I want to know, but the reason I do is because I want to be on the lookout for it if something like that happens to you again, Paisley.
We're stuck out here together until the spring, and I don't want to wake up and find this has all been too much for you.
" He lifts his head up, hazel eyes bright. "Promise me I won't do that."
Swallowing roughly, because I know what he's asking, I nod. Reaching out with my hand, I lightly grab his. "I promise, if I have those thoughts again. I'll tell you."
"That's all I can ask for. Let's head on back in."
The warmth of the cabin wraps around us the second we step inside, and I realize how cold I'd gotten out there. My fingers are stiff, my nose feels like it might fall off, and when I touch my cheeks, they're ice cold. But the fire is roaring in the fireplace.
"Get yourself changed," Chase says, stomping his boots just inside the door. "You'll warm up faster if you take those wet clothes off."
I nod, grateful for the suggestion, and make my way to the bathroom, grabbing a small bundle of clothes I'd found earlier.
When I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I almost laugh.
My cheeks are bright red, my hair is a mess from being stuffed under that hat, and there's a spark I haven't seen in my eyes in a very long time.
Being out in the cold air seems to agree with me.
When I come back out, Chase has already changed and is standing in front of the fireplace, stoking the flames higher.
He's wearing a pair of worn jeans and a thermal shirt that stretches across his shoulders, showing off the strong muscles there.
I shouldn't be paying attention like this, so I force myself to glance away.
"Feel better?" he asks without turning around.
"Much. Thank you."
He nods and sets the poker aside, then moves to the couch and drops down onto it like he owns the world.
I suppose in a way, he does—at least this part of it.
"Might as well get comfortable," he says, gesturing to the other end.
"There's a lot of downtime out here once it starts snowing like this.
Unless I'm doing something for the agency, or going to get a delivery of food, I'm here. "
"What do you do for the agency in the winter?" I can't think of anything they'd have him doing.
"A lot of record management. They make sure I have internet, and a laptop. While the rest of them are out and about in the county, I'm verifying and inputting records for the rest of the year. Believe it or not, it keeps me busy the entire winter, as far as working hours go."
Satisfied with the answer, I settle onto the couch, tucking my legs underneath me.
Biscuit immediately appears from wherever he'd been hiding and jumps up between us, circling twice before plopping down.
"What do you do to pass the time?" I ask, genuinely curious.
I can't imagine being this isolated for months on end.
I've never been cut off from the world like this, but I'm intrigued by it.
He shrugs, reaching over to scratch behind Biscuit's ears. "Put together puzzles. Watch a lot of TV."
I glance around the room, noticing for the first time that there isn't a cable box anywhere. "How do you watch TV way out here?"
A small smile tugs at the corner of his mouth, like he gets this question a lot. "We've got electricity, but cable's a no go. I order DVDs in the summer, stock up on shows I haven't seen or ones I want to watch again. Keeps me entertained through the winter."
"Really?" I'm surprised by this, and oddly charmed. It's as simple as this man seems to be, it fits him perfectly.
"Come here, I'll show you." He pushes himself up from the couch and walks over to a cabinet I hadn't noticed previously. When he opens it, I see shelf after shelf stacked with DVD cases. Complete series, movies, everything organized and ready to go.
I move closer, running my fingers along the spines. "This is impressive."
"I take my winter entertainment seriously," he says, and there's a hint of humor in his voice that makes me smile. "Pick whatever you want."
I study the selection, surprised by the variety.
There are dramas, comedies, action series, even a few I would consider more girlie.
My eyes land on one set in particular, and I can't help the grin that spreads across my face as I pull it out and hand it to him. "Blue Bloods," I say, completely sure.
He takes it from me, looking down at the case, then back up at me with raised eyebrows. "Yeah?"
"Yeah. I used to watch it with my..." I trail off, not ready to finish that sentence, not ready to bring my past to the present. "I just really like it."
If he notices my hesitation, he doesn't push. Instead, he nods and says, "Good choice. I'm on my third time through the series." He moves back toward the couch. "You hungry? I can pop some popcorn."
"That sounds perfect."
While he's in the kitchen, I settle back onto the couch. Biscuit has taken my spot, spread out like he owns it, but I don't mind. I scratch his head and he looks up at me with those adoring eyes, paws moving against the cushion.
The sound of kernels popping fills the cabin, and it's so normal, so domestic, that it makes my chest tighten. When was the last time I had a simple day like this? This easy? I can't remember.
Chase comes back with a large bowl of popcorn and sets it on the coffee table, then loads the first disc into the player. The familiar theme music starts, and I feel myself relax even more into the cushions.
"Scoot over, Biscuit," Chase says, nudging the cat with his hand. Biscuit grumbles but moves closer to me, creating more space for Chase on the other end.
We settle in, the three of us on this couch, as the episode begins.
I reach for some popcorn, and so does Chase, and our hands brush in the bowl.
He doesn't pull away immediately, and neither do I.
When we touch there's a spark, but I'm not ready to explore what that means, not yet, and maybe not ever.
The fact is though, Chase and I have chemistry, and I'm not sure how long I'll be able to ignore it.
"This okay?" he asks, gesturing to the TV.
"It's perfect," I tell him honestly.
And it is. The storm rages outside, the wind howling and the snow piling up against the windows, but in here it's warm and safe.
Warmer and safer than any other place I've ever had.
Chase is solid beside me, heat coming off his body keeping me warm, Biscuit is a comforting weight against my leg, and for the first time in longer than I can remember, I'm not thinking about what I've lost or what went wrong.
I'm just here, in this moment, and that's everything I've ever wanted.ctoAs the first episode ends and rolls into the second, I steal a glance at Chase.
His eyes are on the screen, but there's a relaxed set to his shoulders that wasn't there before.
He looks content, at peace, and I wonder if maybe he's been lonely out here.
If maybe having someone else around is just as good for him as it is for me.
"You all right?" he asks, catching me looking.
"Yeah," I say softly. "I really am."
He holds my gaze for a moment, an unreadable emotion flashing across his face, before he nods and turns back to the TV. But his hand moves slightly closer to mine on the couch, close enough that if I wanted to, I could reach out and close the distance.
I don't. Not yet. But knowing I could is enough for now.
The afternoon goes on, filled with nothing but the sound of the TV, the crackling fire, and the storm outside. And for the first time in a very long time, I'm not afraid of what comes next.