Chapter 17 Giselle
GISELLE
I stared up at the ceiling in my childhood bedroom. The glow-in-the-dark stars I’d put there years ago were still there.
I hadn’t heard from or seen Thayer since leaving Park City almost a week ago.
I guess I hadn’t expected to. We left things so messy.
He wouldn’t be the other guy. And I couldn’t even blame him.
He was loyal. And he had integrity. I should’ve been shouting it from the rooftops that he wanted me.
All those snow bunnies could suck it. But there I was.
Still in the same place I was before the trip.
Still with Gino, who was states away on Valentine’s Day.
Still living a pretty lifeless existence.
I’d told my therapist about Park City. She didn’t make me feel like the cheater I knew I was. I appreciated that. She listened. She let me work out my feelings about Thayer and Gino. She also left me with things to think about: What made me happy? Who made me happy? Who would risk it all for me?
Yes, it was a no-brainer.
There was a knock on my door.
“Come in,” I called as I sat up.
The door opened, and my mom walked in carrying a massive bouquet of red roses. There had to be at least three dozen there.
“Who are they from?” I asked.
“Who do you think they’re from?” she asked, confused by my question.
I jumped up and took the bouquet, noting the tiny envelope poking out. Excitement filled me as I pulled out the card that was inside.
Happy Valentine’s Day, Giselle.
Much love, Gino
I released a disappointed sigh as I placed the bouquet down on my dresser and tossed the card down too.
“Why do you look disappointed?” my mother asked. “Your father only got me a card.”
I forced a smile. “I’m not disappointed.” But I was. Because for a fleeting moment, I thought they might be from Thayer.
Stupid girl.
Thayer
I entered class with seconds to spare, but the professor wasn’t there yet, saving me the awkward head down and walk directly to my seat move. Masie was in her seat when I slipped into mine.
“Hey,” Masie said as I lowered my backpack to the floor beside me.
“Hey. How’s it going?”
“How was Utah?”
“Awesome,” I said.
“I thought maybe you’d call once you got back,” she said.
“Yeah. Sorry about that,” I said, slipping my computer out of my backpack. “Life’s gotten a little crazy.”
“You gonna be out at the bars this weekend?” she asked.
I shrugged. “I’ve got this sponsorship event Saturday night, and I’m trying to focus on snowboarding, so I’m not sure.”
As I turned to face the front of the classroom, she asked, “Did I do something wrong?”
I look back at her, knowing she wasn’t the one who did anything wrong. “What?”
“You kinda ghosted me, Thayer. And, I know you’re a good guy who probably doesn’t even realize you did it, but that’s what you did. And, I guess, I’m just not used to it because it’s usually me doing the ghosting.”
Fuck. “Look, you’re great,” I began, feeling like a jerk for not talking to her about it sooner. “I’ve just got a lot going on and…”
“And, there’s someone else,” she finished for me.
I felt my shoulders fall as I exhaled. There’d always been someone else. No matter who I was with, she was always there.
“Kason’s sister?” she asked, surprising the hell out of me.
“How did you—”
“Girls always know. And if the way the two of you push each other’s buttons is any indication of how much you care about each other, then I’d say she’s the person you’re supposed to be with.”
“You can’t actually be this cool,” I said.
She smirked, and I could finally see why she was always the one doing the ghosting. She was gorgeous and funny and someone who deserved a guy who appreciated that—and didn’t have someone else he couldn’t get over. “Oh, I’m this cool and even cooler. But, I guess it’s your loss.”
I laughed. “Totally.”
“I’ll still root for you at your competitions,” she said.
“Of course you will. I’ll be the dopest snowboarder out there.”
She laughed, and just like that, I knew we’d stay friends. Something we should’ve been all along.
Giselle
I lay on my bed. It seemed to be the only thing I’d been doing since I’d returned from Park City.
Well, if you didn’t count therapist visits and showering.
I’d spent the last two years working long days and nights.
This break was proving to me that I really had nothing else in my life other than my boutique—the one I was terrified to return to.
What a sad notion.
My phone buzzed on the nightstand. I’d given up expecting it to be Thayer, because each time I got my hopes up, it was never him. I reached for the phone and found a text from Gino.
Gino
Hey Babe.
Me
Hey
Gino
You ok?
Me
Same
Gino
Anything I can do?
Me
I’ll be fine
Gino
Can I call you?
Me
Sure
The phone rang, and I took a big breath before answering. “Hi,” I said, trying to sound happy to hear from him.
“I needed to hear your voice,” he said.
I closed my eyes, guilt washing over me.
“After not speaking to you while you were away, I realized how much hearing your voice makes me feel better.”
More guilt. “I’m sorry.”
“No need to be sorry. I’m just saying it wasn’t easy for me, especially after everything that happened to you.”
This was an opportunity to come clean. An opportunity to tell him that we weren’t working.
That my feelings had changed. That we needed to break up.
But it had been three years. I needed to see him to have a conversation like that.
“When do you think you’ll be back in Colorado?
” I asked, knowing an in-person conversation would be best.
“I’m not sure. Why? Do you need me?”
I used to. When I was young and needed direction, he’d given me that. “I guess not.”
“What’d you do today?” he said, changing the subject without even realizing it.
“I bought a snowboard.”
“What?”
“I snowboarded twice in Park City and got the bug.”
“You didn’t tell me that,” he said. “I didn’t even know you could snowboard.”
“I’m not good.”
“Who cares. You got out there,” he said.
“Yeah. And I felt good doing it,” I explained, leaving out the real reason I felt good doing it. “My therapist actually encouraged me to buy the board.”
“How’s that going?” he asked.
“Well, I guess it’s better than bottling everything up.”
“You can talk to me,” he offered.
Could I? I opened my mouth to respond, but I could hear someone in the background, and Gino responded to them, “I’ll be right there.” Then, to me. “Babe, I’ve gotta go. Please call if you need anything.”
And there it was. Everyone and everything always seemed to be more important than me. It had always been that way. But I’d made excuses in my head for why it was okay. But it wasn’t. If I really needed him, he wasn’t there. “I will,” I lied.
And then he hung up.
I was such a coward. He’d said hearing from me made him feel better. But talking to him didn’t make me feel better. It never really had. But not talking to Thayer was killing me.
There was a knock on my door.
“Come in,” I called.
The door opened, and my mother poked her head inside. “Are you driving with us to the event, or are you going with your brother?”
“No, I’m going with you and Dad.”
She glanced to her watch before looking at me. “I think you should probably get ready. We plan to leave in less than an hour.”
I nodded, both eager and terrified of seeing Thayer. But this night was about him. I needed to support him. Not cause him more grief.