Chapter 18 Thayer
THAYER
I dug my hands into my khaki cargo pants.
The navy hoodie and matching Kincaid beanie I wore were making me warm as I waited with Kason in the back room of the banquet hall.
We were waiting to be announced as Kincaid’s newest snowboarders.
I could hear all the voices on the other side of the wall, prepared for the presentation.
Kason was the real draw, but I was totally fine being the trusty sidekick when Kincaid offered me the deal.
Kason had always been good at being the center of attention.
I was much better hanging in the shadows.
“We don’t know how we managed it, but we got him!
” a man announced, and a round of applause ensued.
There had to be a good hundred people in the banquet hall.
“And he brought a friend!” The crowd again applauded, some hooted and hollered.
I figured it was Jesse and the other snowboarders there for the open bar and free food.
“May I introduce the newest faces of Kincaid Sports. Kason McCloud and Thayer Caruthers.”
“Showtime,” Kason said, climbing the stairs and heading through the doorway that led to the stage.
I followed him out there, and the room was packed. Some wore suits and dresses; some wore Kincaid snowboarding gear and jeans.
Kason stepped up to the microphone. “I’d like to thank Kincaid for this huge honor.” He glanced at the big banner hanging behind the stage. It was him upside down, pulling off the move that won him the gold medal. “This is home for me. Where I should have always been.”
The room erupted in cheers and applause.
He glanced to me. “And to be able to rep the best snowboarding company on the planet with my best friend, my boy, my brother. Things just don’t get any sweeter.”
The room applauded as I lifted a hand in the air, acknowledging what he’d said as well as the opportunity Kincaid had given me.
My eyes latched onto Giselle in a red halter dress by the bar, smiling and clapping.
I smiled back. Just because we left things screwy in Park City, it didn’t mean I didn’t miss her or that she hadn’t been on my mind.
She was the one who had to figure her shit out.
Kason and I stepped off the stage, shaking hands with all the Kincaid bigwigs before finding our boys by the bar. I glanced to the spot where Giselle had been, but she wasn’t there any longer.
One of the guys bought a round of shots, and people toasted to our new partnership. Then, someone else did. Before I knew it, I was feeling good as I made the rounds around the room, catching up with snowboarders I hadn’t seen in years who were also sponsored by Kincaid.
“Hey, Thayer.”
I spun away from the guys to find a girl who looked familiar, but I couldn’t place her. “Hey,” I said, hoping she’d say her name.
“Congrats on the sponsorship.”
“Thanks.”
“Will you be competing in Switzerland?” she asked.
“That’s the plan,” I said.
“Maybe we can hang while we’re all out there?” she asked.
Reagan Myers. Snowboarder from Canada. That’s it. “Sounds killer.”
She smiled before taking off for her group of friends who were waiting on her.
I caught sight of Giselle heading toward the restroom.
She promised not to ghost me, and that’s exactly what she’d been doing.
Knowing it had been long enough, I made a beeline for the restrooms. I leaned my back against the wall outside the women’s room.
I’d stand there all night if I had to. She couldn’t hide from me forever.
Two tipsy girls stumbled out, eyeing me appreciatively.
I nodded before they took off, giggling. A little girl came out next.
“Hey,” I said to her. “Is there anyone else in there?”
She nodded. “A girl in a red dress.”
Giselle
I stood at the mirror, stalling before going back out there. I was so damn happy for my brother and Thayer, but seeing Thayer and knowing we were right back to where we’d been before Park City really sucked. That’s why I was in the bathroom, ultimately hiding.
The restroom door flew open, and I gasped, my heartbeat walloping in my chest.
Thayer stepped inside.
“Are you lost?” I asked as my heartbeat continued to race.
He locked the door and then moved by each of the open stalls, pushing the doors in and checking to see if anyone else was in there. Once he’d established we were alone, he stopped in front of me. “I wanted to say hello.”
A small huff of laughter spilled out of me. “In the bathroom?”
“I would’ve done it out there, but you seem to be avoiding me.”
“I figured a big snowboarder with a sponsorship deal wouldn’t want anything to do with a nobody like me.”
He cupped my cheeks, and I couldn’t help but lean into the feel of his strong hands on my skin. It had been far too long. “I missed you.”
My racing heartbeat didn’t let up. “I missed you, too.”
His eyes dropped to my lips.
I knew it was wrong, since I hadn’t broken things off with Gino, but I willed Thayer to kiss me. I missed the way we fit together so perfectly.
He lowered his forehead to mine, and I could see it was taking all of his resolve not to kiss me. But he hadn’t forgotten how we’d left things in Park City. And, I hadn’t chosen him.
There was a knock on the door.
We jumped apart.
Thayer’s lips twisted regrettably, as if he hadn’t said all that he wanted to say. But instead of saying anything, he moved to the door and unlocked it. When he opened it, Shay stood there with wide eyes. “Hey,” he said, slipping by her and disappearing.
She came into the bathroom and looked at me with the same wide eyes.
“Yes,” I said to her unasked question. “It was exactly what it looked like,” I explained. “And I don’t know what to do about it.”
Shay wasn’t the touchy-feely type, so I knew she wasn’t about to rush over to hug me, but she did do something I didn’t expect.
She locked the door and came to stand beside me, leaning against the counter.
“I know I’m dating your brother. But I’m also your friend.
I don’t have to tell him anything you don’t want me to tell him. ”
“Thank you.”
“If you need me, I’m here. I can listen. I can give you advice. I can say nothing. But you are not alone.”
“Wow, Shay. You’re good at this.”
“What?”
“Being someone’s friend.”
She bit back a grin.
I motioned with my head toward the door. “I’ll wait out there for you. We can catch up this week—if you still want to.”
“You bet.”
We headed back out to join the rest of the people celebrating Kason and Thayer.
We met up with the two of them and their snowboarding friends by the bar.
Kason instantly wrapped his arm over Shay’s shoulders and pulled her into his side, not missing a beat in telling a story.
I glanced at Thayer, knowing it could be that easy for us.
His eyes held mine for a knowing moment before shifting back to Kason.
I wanted to be the center of his universe because when I wasn’t, the void was massive.
“Come on,” Kason said, tugging Shay toward the dance floor. The DJ had just switched from loud music to a slow song. “I asked him to play our song.” She followed willingly, and I loved seeing my brother be the boyfriend I knew he could be.
Thayer inched his way over to my side. “Walk with me.”
I glanced around at all the people still there, as well as my brother now staring into Shay’s eyes as they danced.
Thayer whispered. “You’re my best friend’s sister. No one will think anything of us talking. We’ve done it for years.”
I turned away first, and he walked beside me. We stopped at the dessert table. Thayer picked up a brownie and popped the whole thing into his mouth.
“Kason said you’re still staying with your parents,” he said with his mouth full. “When are you going back to your condo?”
I tilted my head to the side as if that was enough of an answer.
“G,” he said, almost as if I should’ve told him.
But why would I? We hadn’t spoken in a week. “It’s fine. I’ll be fine.”
“Of course you’ll be fine,” he said, and I could almost see the wheels turning in his head. “But, in the meantime, we need to do something about this.”
“We?” I asked.
“You and me,” he said matter-of-factly.
“I thought there was no you and me?”
“Then you’re lying to yourself,” he said. “Let me stay at your condo with you tonight.”
“No.”
His brows shot up.
“He told me he knew where I lived,” I whispered like a terrified child.
Thayer closed his eyes, and I knew it took everything in him not to wrap me in his arms and comfort me in the middle of the crowded banquet hall. When he opened his eyes, they transformed from sad to plotting. “Move in with us.”
“What?” I nearly shrieked.
“You heard me.”
I shook my head. “I’m not moving into a party house.”
“Shay’s there. It’s not like we rage the way we used to.”
“No.”
“I’m gonna mention it to Kason.”
“What are you gonna mention to me?” Kason said, stepping up beside us with Shay.
“I told Giselle to move in with us,” Thayer explained.
Kason’s eyes widened. “What?”
“See? It’s a crazy idea,” I said to Thayer.
“She’s still at your parents’ house,” Thayer said.
“Yeah,” Kason said, knowing that and not having a problem with it.
“She doesn’t want to go back to her condo,” Thayer continued.
“Mom and Dad’s house is fine for now,” I said to Kason. “I don’t know where Thayer came up with this crazy idea.”
“We have an extra room,” Kason said, almost as if he was on Thayer’s side and thought this was a good idea.
“I’m fine,” I said.
“Another girl in the house would be amazing,” Shay added.
I glared at her, and she shrugged. Traitor.
“It’s not like you two haven’t lived together before,” Thayer said, his eyes moving between Kason and me.
“I appreciate you looking out for me,” I said, stopping this once and for all. “But my parents went to a lot of trouble to make me feel safe and secure under their roof. I’m in no rush to leave.”
“Well, if that changes, we’ve got a room for you,” Kason said.
“Thanks.” I exhaled a deep breath, dodging that bullet. “I think I’m gonna head out.”
“And miss the after party at our house?” Kason said.
I looked at Thayer. “So much for no more parties.”
“How else is Thayer ever gonna find himself a girlfriend?” Kason said. “I invited the Canadian snowboarders.”
Knots twisted in my stomach before my eyes shifted to Thayer. He suddenly looked uncomfortable.
I had no right to be upset. No right to be jealous. He should be meeting girls. Especially girls who liked the same stuff as he did. I hadn’t broken things off with Gino. Thayer could do whatever he wanted. I just wished it didn’t sting so much. “I think I’m gonna head out.”
“Do you need a ride home?” Thayer asked.
I shook my head. “I just saw my parents saying goodbye to their friends. I’m gonna go wait by the door,” I said to Thayer before looking to the rest of them. “See you guys later.”
In the coat room, I pulled my long black coat off a hanger and slipped it on.
“It’s freezing out there,” Thayer said, appearing out of nowhere. He untucked my hair from the back of my collar. “Stay inside until your parents get the car.”
“You don’t have to wait with me.”
“I know I don’t have to. I want to,” he said, leading me to the bench by the door.
“Did you have fun tonight?” I asked, sitting down on the bench.
Thayer sat beside me, his leg pressing against mine. “Some of it was fun,” he said, and I got the feeling he was referring to the part involving me in the bathroom. “Did Shay say anything?”
“Just that she’s my friend and doesn’t have to tell Kason everything.”
He nodded.
A long stretch of silence passed between us. There were so many things I wanted to say, but currently, nothing would fix this wedge I’d once again placed between us.
“Kincaid’s sending us to Big Bear on Monday,” Thayer said.
My brows formed a V. “Do you ever go to school?”
“Sometimes.”
“Big Bear should be fun.”
“It would be more fun if you were there. Wanna come?” he asked, his eyes studying my lips.
“Stop trying to get me to sleep in the same place as you.”
“You noticed, huh?”
“I noticed.”
“It would be convenient,” he said, his eyes lifting back to mine. “If anything about our situation had changed over the past week.”
The truth hung in the air for a long time. We both knew I was the one who hadn’t changed anything. I could have, but I didn’t.
“Hey, you two,” my father said as he moved to the coat room to grab their coats.
My mother stopped in front of us. “Great night for you and Kason.”
“Yeah, it’s pretty wild that we’re both being sponsored by Kincaid now,” Thayer said, like he didn’t completely deserve it.
“Thanks for waiting with Giselle,” my mother said as my father stepped up behind her and helped her into her coat.
“No problem,” Thayer said, gently pressing his leg against mine.
“I’ll go get the car,” my father offered.
“I’ll come with you,” my mom said. “It was so hot in here. I need some fresh air.”
“Good night,” Thayer said as they walked outside.
We both fell silent.
“So…” I finally said. “Canadian snowboarders, huh?”
“Leave it to your brother to always try hooking me up.”
“I think you do a good enough job of that on your own,” I said.
He didn’t respond, which frustrated me because I wanted him to say I had nothing to worry about. I wanted him to say he didn’t want other girls. But I had no right. I couldn’t expect his unwavering loyalty to me.
My parents pulled up out front. I stood up. Thayer stood too, his pinky brushing mine before linking it for a quick moment. “Good night, G.”
“’Night.” Again, I willed him to kiss me, wanting desperately to taste his lips for just a minute. His face lingered close for a bit. I thought he might cave. But he stepped back.
I took that as my cue, making my way outside and slipping into my parents’ backseat.
I glanced over my shoulder as we pulled away. Thayer stood in the doorway watching as the car got further and further away. The pit in my stomach was one I’d created. And, I was the one who could do something about it.