Chapter 24
TWENTY-FOUR
Maren, Gia, and I lounge on matching teak chairs beneath the pergola in Gia’s backyard, the tall cedars lining the fence making the space feel like a neighbor-free private oasis.
And truth be told, I once went skinny-dipping in the pool on a particularly moonless night while Mark was away on business. But no one knows that.
It’s easy to slip away from reality here with the hot tub, in-ground swimming pool, and clay fountain. The garden’s professionally landscaped, and Mom loves to wander through it, admiring the spiky agave, clusters of blue succulents, and bursts of California poppies.
“Let’s hope your honeymoon is a little calmer than your wedding,” Maren says and takes a sip of her pineapple juice. “I bet you’re tired.”
Gia lifts her sunglasses so they’re sitting on her head and shrugs lazily.
“Me and Lexi talked about it before you got here. Now that my Advil’s working, I’ve accepted the fact that my speech was next-level revealing and that I have a highly dysfunctional family, and I’m at peace with it now. C’est la vie, you know?”
Wow, that was fast. Who knew I could change Gia’s attitude with a little pep talk on the carpet?
Maren glances at me and nibbles on her bottom lip. “And how are you doing?”
“Pretty shitty,” I answer, fiddling with the hem of my tank top. “But I’m dealing.”
“Has Jayden contacted you yet?” Maren asks. “I’ve never seen him drunk like that before. Hopefully he’s okay.”
After my talk with Gia, Jayden and I spent a long time texting back and forth. “He’s all right. He apologized for crashing the wedding and for making a scene, and I told him I was sorry too for hurting him, and we agreed to talk again about me picking up some stuff from his place.”
“And Mr. Aries?” Maren asks. “Do you think that was the end for you two?”
I let out a sigh, one that is way more heart wrenching than I meant it to be. If it’s the end, what was all of that for? He opened my mind to an excitement and ease that I didn’t know existed.
“He hasn’t messaged or called, and I haven’t reached out either. I like him. I mean, I really like him. When I saw him yesterday, I felt so many things, all at once. I wish I’d just been honest from the start. I regret that, but at the same time, I can’t really jump right in at this point.”
“Life’s too short for regret,” Maren says. “What’s meant to happen will find its way.”
“Is that your version of an astrological pep talk?” I ask dryly.
“Kind of. If your conversations happened with as much ease as you said they did, then you’ll find your way back to each other. Life will pull you back together.”
I chew on my thumbnail. “Life may pull us back together but that doesn’t mean he’ll forgive me.”
“If he really understands you, he’ll forgive you,” Maren says lightly.
We sit in silence, the sun beaming down on us. I watch a pair of lizards run along the stones surrounding the pool.
Maren clears her throat. “And the long-lost sister thing?”
“We’re going to sort it out before I leave,” Gia says casually, flipping onto her stomach to tan her back. Now that this girl’s hangover’s gone, she’s got a very chill energy.
“What?” I try to force my tone to match her laid-back vibe, but it comes out squawky. “You leave for your honeymoon tomorrow. How are we going to do that?”
“No worries. It’ll be fine.” Gia smiles, her face pressed against the lounge pillow. “I invited Mom, Dad, and Claire over. They should be here any time now.”
“How did you get them all to come here at the same time? They agreed to that?” I ask.
Gia shrugs and runs a hand through her hair, twisting a strand around her finger as if it’s no big deal. “It’s possible that none of them know about the others,” she says casually.
“So . . . what . . . you’re saying is this is going to be another tense event?” Maren asks, bolting upright.
“Probably,” Gia says.
“Nope. Not for me. Not today. Forget lunch, I’ll pick up some McDonald’s. I had my fill of drama to last me for at least the next year.” Maren shakes her head so hard that it looks like it could fly off, then jumps to her feet and grabs her bag. “I’m out of here, guys. Call me later, Lex.”
After an hour of conversation, gathered in Gia’s living room on the sofas around her coffee table, we’ve aired out many of the issues. Despite the surprise of having the other family members present, and the intensity of the conversation, no one’s stormed out yet, so that’s a win in itself.
“Now this may upset you to hear, but we’re selling the house and getting our own places,” Mom announces. “Your dad wants a condo, and I’m moving into a townhouse.”
Gia and I nod agreeably, a way different reaction from when they sold our childhood home. That move hit harder than a plot twist in a soap opera. But their new place? It holds about as much sentimental value as giving up your seat on a crowded bus.
“I’ve apologized to your mom many times but I also want to say sorry to you,” Dad says, his blue eyes glossy. “I’m sorry for all my mistakes and for causing this. I’ve also talked to Claire a lot about wishing I knew about her sooner. Things would have been different.”
Claire fidgets with the handle of her coffee mug and gives us a shy glance. “But I’m happy to get to know you all now, if you’re up to that.”
I trace the woodgrain on the coffee table with my fingertip, thinking of the words to choose. “If you give us time to wrap our heads around everything, we’re up for it.”
The conversation continues until Mark pokes his head into the room and announces he’s going to start grilling burgers and sausages.
Gia jumps up to join him, Claire says she’d like to get some air, and Mom excuses herself to use the restroom.
I’m left alone with Dad, who shifts in place on the sofa like he’s suddenly uncomfortable around me.
“Mom said you quit your job. I guess you were serious about not liking it.”
“It wasn’t quite for me anymore,” I say with a shrug. “I’m going to start scouring the job listings, looking for a position I can be creative in. How’s golf going?”
“It’s fine. Still fun.” Dad runs a hand through his gray hair and shifts his weight awkwardly.
“I should have told you about Claire as soon as I found out,” he blurts out.
“There was no way you would have suspected you were her sister. When I found out you invited her to the wedding, I should have told you then and there instead of trying to convince her not to come.”
“Yeah,” I say softly. “Honestly, I thought Mom was this horrible villain and that she just came out of left field and broke your heart by creating a dating profile out of the blue, and hooking up with the first match that she made. I felt sorry for you. But now I feel like you should have noticed that and taken more blame from the get-go.”
Dad’s brow furrows and he fidgets with his hands. “I didn’t know how to start the conversation, and it never felt like the right time.”
I let out a long sigh. That’s pretty much exactly what I said to Zach. It doesn’t make my dad right . . . but it’s a little harder to be mad at him. Still, he messed up.
“You messed up decades ago, but Mom didn’t throw you under the bus. By not admitting your own mistakes, you threw her under the bus.”
Dad leans back against the cushion and slowly nods his head. “You’re right.” His face crinkles with emotion. “And I’m sorry.”
I reach over and pat him on the arm. “I hope you find the same happiness Mom has found,” I say. “And I promise I won’t stalk you and try to ruin it.”
“I hope you give Claire a chance,” Dad says. “It’s a strange situation for you to be in, but the last few weeks, catching up on all of the time we missed, she’s a really nice person.”
“She seems pretty great,” I agree.
Dad stands and smooths his khaki shorts. “I’m going to go and chat with her for a while.” He says it lightly, but I catch the small flicker of guilt in his eyes before he turns away.
I stay seated on the sofa and after a moment, Mom appears and joins me. “I overheard some of that,” she says. “I didn’t want to interrupt. How are you doing?”
I lift my hands in a small, accepting shrug. “Sadly, the awkwardness between us will probably be there for a while, but maybe one day we’ll get back on track.”
“Things are going to be different, but you’ll be okay,” Mom says.
“Hopefully.”
Mom scoots closer to me and takes my hand.
“Speaking of things being different, you’ve got to make a deal with me.
You and Gia are coming to Nicholas’s new place for dinner.
I’ll talk to Gia about it myself this time.
I want you two to meet Nicholas . . . meet him for real . . . and to give him a chance. Deal?”
“When?”
“Sometime after Gia gets back from her honeymoon.”
“I’ll be there,” I promise. I honestly would love to get to know more about him at this point, to make sure he’s always as nice to Mom as he seemed to be last night.
“And there’s something else.” Mom faces me with this knowing look and before she can open her mouth I know where the conversation is going. “I saw how happy you looked with Zach.”
There’s no part of me that’s going to deny that. “I was happy with him, but I also wasn’t honest with him.”
“Is he the reason why you broke up with Jayden?”
“Sort of but not exactly. He made me feel things I didn’t know I was capable of, and I knew that feeling those things when I had Jayden in my life was proof that he wasn’t the right match for me.”
Mom grabs both of my hands and looks at me earnestly, her gaze steady and unblinking. “You can’t ignore feelings like that. You did the right thing. Too many people ignore all the signs that show them the right path. And the wrong one.”
“I’m trying to pay attention now.”
“Here’s one thing I want you to know,” Mom says, her eyes becoming glossy with emotion.
“There’s something in this life that wakes you up inside.
And it can happen at any time. It’s like desire but it’s something else too.
Something bigger and more important. It makes you realize that you’re worthy of being fully appreciated .
. . emotionally and spiritually and sexually.
Don’t ignore that feeling, Lexi. You’re worthy of having it. ”