Chapter 27
MILES
I buzz up to Bryce’s apartment, but she doesn’t answer. I refuse to leave all of this like we did. If we break up, we talk it over. We don’t do it in the heat of the moment during an argument when emotions are high.
But once again, she doesn’t answer, so I grab a coffee from the corner place and sit to people watch. I could call her, but I want to talk face to face. She hasn’t accepted my calls anyway, so my only option is to surprise her at her house.
Cooper and Ellery say they haven’t really talked to her. Bryce said she needed time, and they know her well enough to give it to her. Ellery pleaded with me to let it go and let her come to me, but I’m not that kind of guy. I want Bryce, and I’m going to fight for her.
A little girl runs down the street, and her dad chases her, picking her up right before she’s about to collide with a trash can.
The mom is behind them, wheeling an empty stroller.
They walk into the coffee shop and the little girl inspects the space as though it’s exciting when it’s just a boring old coffee place.
The dad puts his arm around the mom, and he pulls her closer, kissing her temple.
They do this dance of him handing off the daughter to the mom while he pays for their order.
The dad gives the little girl a cookie, and the mom shakes her head, but she’s smiling.
The girl’s eyes widen into saucers, and she hugs her dad’s leg.
The mom says something to the dad and they both laugh.
Jealousy gnaws at my insides. That’s what I want, and I’ve wanted it for a long time.
I want a family, and I’m not going to be ashamed of that.
Bryce and I have to be on the same page though, because I’m already way too invested not to have that with her.
If she doesn’t have the same desire for a family, for a life together, I need to cut it off because I’ll never be able to keep my dreams of the life I want with her at bay.
Leaving the coffee shop, still impatient to talk to her, I go back to her apartment. I press the buzzer again and no one answers. As I’m about to press it again, an elderly woman walks out of the door. I want to slide through it, but the woman eyes me. Fuck it.
I step forward, and she presses her hand on my chest.
“I’ll use my cane,” she says.
I look down and sure as shit, her hand is clenched around the handle of a cane. “Sorry, I’m looking for the brunette who lives on the third floor. Bryce?”
The woman comes all the way out and the door closes behind her. “You’re that player. The football guy.” She rests her cane on the building and puts on her hat, then a scarf and mittens. “When you’re old, you’re always cold.”
“Yeah, you don’t need to explain yourself,” I say.
“But I’m assuming you do. I’m her neighbor, and all I’ve heard this morning is her buzzer going off. Did you do something stupid?” She picks up her cane.
“Yeah.”
“Are you going to do it again?”
I shake my head emphatically. “No.”
“Okay, well, I’m a softie, so you’re in luck. I’m not letting you into that apartment building, but I’ll tell you this—there’s been no movement in her apartment since yesterday.”
My shoulders slump. She’s not staying with Ellery or Cooper. Damon wouldn’t put her up without telling me. Where the hell could she be?
“Okay, thanks.”
She pats me on the stomach. “Keep up the good work, and if this works, I’d happily take some tickets as a thank you.”
I laugh. “If she takes me back, they’re all yours.”
She smiles and walks down the street but stops when two kids almost run her over. “Who raised you? A stray dog?” she shouts at them.
I watch her go and look up at the apartment. “Where are you, Bryce?” I mumble to myself.
I catch the L train back to my place and stop at Peeper’s Alley. It’s a quiet day, no game for the Colts because it’s midweek, so I sit on an empty barstool.
“Water?” Ruby asks.
“Whiskey, two shots.”
She studies me for a moment, then grabs the bottle. All the regulars turn like robots to face me. She puts two shot glasses in front of me and pours the whiskey. I move to pick one up, but she puts her hand over it. For the first time, I notice her age spots.
“Before you do this. Are you sure you want to?”
“I just want it to go away.” I sound pathetic even to my own ears.
She takes the shot out of my hand, then the other one, and dumps them in the sink.
“What a waste, Rubes!” a man farther down the bar shouts. “I would’ve drank ’em.”
“You’ve had enough,” she warns with her stern voice and eyes, then turns to me. “Alcohol numbs. It doesn’t take it away.”
“So if I said I wanted to numb it?”
“Sorry, no take-backs. If you want it to go away, you have to do something to fix it, not wallow here on a barstool. Action.” She grabs a water out of the cooler, cracks the top, and slides it across the bar to me.
“You drink this and think about what action you can take to win her back. The brunette, right? Bryce?”
“Seriously, how does everyone know? We were so careful.” I let my chin tip down and shake my head.
She laughs. “It’s all in the eyes. You gave it away, but she did too. I’ve been working a bar for years. You think I can’t see when two people are into each other?”
I sit and drink my water, watching the television. As if I need to be reminded, another talk show is discussing the article written by Shelly Breckles.
“So, did you do it with the girl?” the man closest to me asks.
I scowl at him. “No.”
“Yeah, we didn’t think so. Now Damon—” the second guy in says, and they all nod.
“Damon what?” Damon asks as he walks in through the back door.
“Would’ve slept with that girl while you were with Bryce,” I inform him because I’d love the fire to be at someone else’s feet.
“Bullshit. When I decide I want to, I’ll be in a relationship, and I’ll be faithful.” He smacks me on the shoulder. “I just heard that she’s in Idaho.”
I straighten in my seat. “What?”
“She’s with her mom and dad. She told Ellery that she needed to get away, Coop said.”
“From me.” My shoulders sag and I gulp more water.
“Action. Action. Action,” Ruby repeats .
“What is she going on about?” Damon asks, nodding in her direction.
“She’s talking about me taking action.”
Damon looks at her. “What kind of action is he supposed to take? He tried to go to her house. She ran out of town.”
The word ran plays on repeat in my head. Two years ago, she ran from me too. There wasn’t anything I could do then, I had no idea why she was running, but this time around, it’s different.
I look at Damon, and he squints, clearly trying to understand my look. Then his eyes widen as I stand from the chair. He holds me back with both hands. “No. No fucking way.”
“It’s the only way. She deserves her job.”
“You’re delusional. She’s just one girl. One of how many possibilities?”
I turn around and laugh. “I really hope one day you understand, because I’d hate for you to never know this feeling.”
“What feeling? Heartbroken? Handcuffed?”
Ruby walks around the bar and smacks him on the back of the head. “The love of a woman is a very special thing.”
“Yes, Ruby, I know. That’s why there’s a woman in my bed most nights.”
She smacks him again.
“Hey, that’s just mean,” Damon says.
“You want to see mean, I’ll give you mean.” She glares at him.
I leave them to it, but as I’m waiting for my Uber, Damon comes out and stands next to me.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
“Going with you.”
“Um… no. I don’t need you trying to convince me to not do it.” The Uber arrives and I slide into the back seat.
Damon gets in right beside me. “I won’t. I just want to see what this is like. ”
The Uber pulls away from the curb. Twenty minutes later, we’re outside the stadium. I stand outside and soak it in. I sure am going to miss it here.
“I’m just gonna ask this one more time, are you sure?” He clamps me on the shoulder as I stare at the full-body picture of me on a giant flag outside the stadium, next to flags featuring Cooper and Damon.
I was really making things happen here. But Bryce comes to my mind again. The feeling I get around her is way more powerful and important than when I get a pick-six. Football won’t be here forever, but hopefully she will.
“Yeah, I’m sure.”
We go up to the front office, and I knock on Ronnie Michaels’s open door.
He has his feet up on the corner of his desk as he eats an apple. “Cavanaugh, come in.”
I sit in the chair across from him. He opens his mouth to speak, but I quickly interrupt him. “Can I say my piece first?”
He nods and motions for me to continue.
The fact that he hasn’t called me into his office at all since the article went out tells me Bryce is going to fall on the sword for this, and that’s unfair.
“I know you have an in with Mr. Osterman over at Sportsverse . I want Bryce to keep her job, and if she can’t, I’m going to make your life a living hell.”