Chapter Four #4
Alex crossed her legs and rested her hands on her knee. She knew exactly where this was going, and she didn’t want to get into it right now. But she also knew Janelle was not going to drop it, either. Better to get it over and done with. She sighed. “All right, out with it.”
“I love you Alex, but you’ve become a hermit.”
“Hardly. I feel like I’m barely at home these days. With Em, the clinic, the team—”
“You know that’s not what I mean.” Janelle didn’t even try to hide the irritation in her voice.
Alex felt a touch of heat prickle her cheeks. Of course, she knew that wasn’t what Janelle was talking about. She just didn’t want to talk about what Janelle was hinting at. It was embarrassing.
Apparently, Janelle wasn’t done. “I’m worried about you.”
“Why?”
“Because you’ve closed yourself off. And while I appreciate this whole, I-am-an-island vibe you’ve got going on, it’s not good for you.”
Alex rubbed the back of her neck and glanced away. Focused on the certificates and awards hanging on the wall. “I just don’t think…” She sighed and turned back to Janelle. “I don’t think I can put myself out there like that again.”
Janelle got up and came around the desk, sitting in the seat next to her. She took Alex’s hands in hers and squeezed. “I get it. Kevin was a dickhead, but that’s his shit to sort out, not yours.”
Alex stared into Janelle’s dark brown eyes.
Her throat thickened. Which was stupid. She’d dealt with this stuff years ago, back when she and Kevin had eventually decided to call it quits.
And she would not cry over him now, or ever again.
“I know that.” Her voice wavered, which ticked her off.
She cleared her throat, swallowing down the rogue emotion.
“But it’s really hard when someone tells you to your face that you ruined their life. ”
Janelle squeezed her fingers tighter. “That fucker didn’t deserve you. You know that, right?”
“He was young and frustrated and angry.”
Janelle snorted. “And you weren’t?”
Alex shrugged, although it still, even after all this time, didn’t feel like the dissolution of her marriage was that inconsequential. And at the time, it had felt like her heart was being crushed. “We just weren’t meant to be.”
“Sure, I get that. But that doesn’t mean you need to cut romance out of your life forever.”
She sighed again. Janelle really wasn’t going to let this go. “I just… I don’t know… don’t think I need it. You know?”
Janelle gave her the that-is-the-most-ridiculous-thing-I’ve-ever-heard side eye she’d spent the last few years perfecting.
“Going out on a date with someone, or various someones, doesn’t mean anything has to be serious.
Go out, have fun, meet some people. Or, you know, get to know more about one particular person…
” She let the words trail off, but her meaning was crystal clear.
“What if he isn’t interested? I mean, he’s a superstar professional athlete who could probably have anyone he wanted. Why would he want me?”
“Don’t make me hit you, Alex Dumont. Workplace injuries mean I have to fill out paperwork and file forms, and you know how much I hate that crap.”
Alex snorted. Janelle was a beast when she had to do any sort of paperwork. She was more the hands-on type, not so much the paper pusher type. “Besides, I think Em has a huge crush on him.”
Janelle wrinkled her nose. “Ooh, that might be a bit of a problem.”
“Right?”
Janelle shook her head, her spiral curls swinging. “You’ll just have to talk to her about it.”
“About what?”
“You seeing Nick. And before you even say it, I mean outside the clinic.”
“Janelle…”
“Nope, you’re not talking yourself out of this. I know you like him. There’s no way you would have gone to lunch with him if you weren’t interested.”
Alex opened her mouth to deny it, but the words stuck on the back of her tongue. She snapped her mouth closed. There was no point in lying, to either Janelle or herself. She did like him. A lot. Way more than she probably should.
“Besides,” Janelle said. “There’s only so much a vibrator and your fingers can do, love. Sometimes you need the real thing.”
Alex made a choking, gasping noise. Her cheeks felt like they were on fire, the tips of her ears burning. “You did not just say that?”
Janelle shrugged and then laughed. That caused Alex to laugh, and soon the two of them were hysterical. Alex hadn’t laughed so hard in ages. Her sides actually ached.
But maybe Janelle was right. Maybe she could let Nick know she was interested and see what happened.
And even if he was interested in seeing her outside of the clinic, that didn’t mean it had to be serious.
He was only here temporarily, so was probably not looking for anything heavy or deep.
They could do what they wanted and then, when it was over, they could say goodbye and move on.
It was a great, very mature, sort of plan.
Except now, she had to have a very serious, and rather embarrassing conversation with Em. While she and her daughter had a good relationship, she was not looking forward to this one. How did you tell your daughter you wanted to date her biggest crush?