Chapter Sixteen #2
She planted her hands on her hips. “I’m not being stubborn.” The tilt of her chin said otherwise, but pointing it out would only piss her off even more. “I already told you I have everything under control.”
“And that’s why you’re looking at want ads?”
She flinched. A weird, piercing ache slid through his chest. He needed to stop pushing. He didn’t want to fight with her.
“What I’m doing is none of your business.”
Tell her she’s right. “I just want to help you.” Yeah, that was not backing down.
“I don’t need your help.” She picked up the tablet and started scrolling.
An unexpected anger welled inside him at her dismissal. “Don’t do that, Alex. Don’t treat me like I’m the enemy.”
“You’re not my enemy,” she said, turning back to him. Her grey eyes were as cold as center ice. “But you don’t get to ride in on your white horse and save the damsel. She’s perfectly capable of saving herself.” She glanced into the living room and then back at him. “And keep your voice down.”
“That’s not what I’m doing.”
“Of course, it is. Coming in and tossing your money around like it’s nothing. Offering to spend thousands and thousands of dollars. Friends don’t buy buildings for each other.”
The words shouldn’t hurt, and yet they sliced through him like barbed wire, cutting and slashing everything in their path.
Bleeding him dry from the inside out. “Is that how you see me? As just a friend?” He was proud at how well he managed to keep the hurt out of his voice.
“Because I thought we were a hell of a lot more than that.”
She swallowed and looked away. “Why? Because we had mind-blowing sex?” She looked back at him. Her eyes were sad. “Come on, Nick. You and I both know this was temporary. You’re about to go back to New England, and I’m staying here.”
“Alex…” His mind tumbled over itself trying to come up with the right words, the perfect words. To tell her how he really felt. How he wanted this to be something more.
“It was never anything serious, Nick.” Her voice was quiet, but there was no hesitation, no doubt. “And I’m sorry if I led you to believe otherwise.”
She might as well have picked up a kitchen knife and jabbed it into his gut. It probably would have hurt less. But he refused to give her the satisfaction of seeing just how badly she’d wounded him.
He stuffed his hands into his jean’s pockets. “No, of course not,” he said, measuring the words carefully, keeping his voice as neutral as possible. “I didn’t mean—”
“Hey, Mom.” Em bounced into the room, her blonde ponytail swinging. “Did you find out what kind of pizza Nick likes? We’re starving.” She patted her stomach as if to emphasize her point.
“Hey, sweetie.” Alex turned toward her daughter. The smile on her face was so brittle, he could hear the edges crackling from across the room. “Was just about to order. Nick?”
“Sorry, Sniper.” He looked at Em. “I just remembered that I have an important meeting tonight, so I can’t stay.”
Em’s face fell. The pain in his chest burrowed deeper, the barbs burying themselves in the soft, tender flesh. “Oh, okay,” she said and looked at the floor. “Well, thanks for coming.”
He wanted to say something, but he didn’t know what. Didn’t know how to make it better. How to make any of this better.
His phone rang. Normally, he’d ignore it, but the ringtone was Nate’s. His brother never called him.
“Give me a sec.” He pulled the phone out of his pocket. Nate’s name and number flashed across the screen. “I’ve got to take this.” He turned around so he was facing the dining room window and pressed the answer button. “Hey, Nate. Sorry but I can’t talk right now.”
“Hey, Nick.” Nate sounded weary. “Umm, something’s happened.”
Nick’s pulse ratcheted up to about three hundred beats a minute. His grip on the phone tightened. “What? What happened?”
“It’s dad.”
“What about dad?”
“Nick, dad had a heart attack this morning. He’s dead.”
Alex watched Nick, her heart lodged so firmly in her throat, she swore she could taste it. She’d never forget the way he flinched—ever so slightly—when she’d said their relationship wasn’t important to her.
It was the biggest lie she’d ever told. She was surprised she’d managed to be convincing. Lying had never been one of her strengths.
But she’d been a fool to think they could make whatever was between them work. They were from two completely different worlds. Somewhere along the way she’d forgotten that fact.
His offer to buy her a freaking building had smacked her right in the face with that little bit of reality. It had been bad enough that Kevin had lavished Em with such expensive gifts. Not that their daughter didn’t deserve them—and it was about time he actually showed her he cared about her.
But it had made the spa day that she had promised Em seem cheap.
And then Nick had waltzed in, tossing his money around, and offering to buy her a building. A building. As if she couldn’t take care of herself or her business. As if she needed someone to come in and save her.
So, she’d done what she needed to do to protect herself. She was already aching at the thought of not being with him. How much more painful would it be if she let him in any further? It was already almost unbearable.
She and Em were just going to have to get over their disappointment. It was unfortunate that she’d probably ruined Em’s birthday party, since Em had really been looking forward to hanging out with Nick today, but it couldn’t be helped. He was leaving. And they would probably never see him again.
Her heart gave a painful squeeze. It wasn’t like she didn’t know this day was coming. His training was virtually complete, there wasn’t much left for them to do. He was in perfect condition to get back on the ice.
She just hadn’t expected it to end this way.
But this was better than a long, drawn-out goodbye. This was a clean break. Sure, it hurt right now, but she’d get over it once he was gone and she didn’t see him all the time. When she didn’t think about him all the time.
Keep telling yourself that, Alex.
It was true. No matter what her inner self said.
Besides, even if there was something more between them, there was no way she was letting him buy her a building.
Tossing business into the mix was a recipe for disaster.
And a lot of legal issues. She refused to depend on anyone ever again.
If that meant she went back to waiting tables in the interim, then so be it.
As she watched him on his phone, his face went white and then turned a sickly grey. Her stomach clenched. Something was wrong.
“Umm, okay,” he said and shoved his hand through his hair. Tension radiated from him, making the air around them thick and heavy. Her shoulders tightened even further. “Yeah, I’ll see you soon.”
He disconnected the call, and then just stood there, staring at his phone.
“Em,” Alex said, and turned to her daughter, holding out the tablet. “Why don’t you and the girls pick out what sort of pizza you want and order it. Try to keep it under a hundred bucks, please.”
Em took the tablet. “Okay.” She glanced at Nick again and then spun and headed back into the living room.
Alex stepped forward. Her fingers twitched, wanting to reach out, to touch him, but she didn’t dare. “Nick, what’s wrong?”
He looked up at her. The air caught in her lungs, the pressure making them ache.
His eyes had a bewildered sadness in them she’d never seen before.
His brow was furrowed so hard, she was afraid the lines in his forehead were going to be permanent.
He looked down at his phone again and said something, but it was too low for her to hear.
She stepped closer, the heat and scent of him wrapping around her like a hug. Something she needed to ignore. For both their sakes. “What?”
He looked up at her again. “My dad died.”
“Oh, Nick, I’m so sorry.” She wanted to wrap her arms around him, squeeze him tight, let him know she was there for him.
But she held back, unsure. Hadn’t she just pushed him away? Now was not the time to send mixed messages, no matter how much it hurt.
Instead, she brushed her fingers against her sternum, trying to alleviate the pain building in her chest.
“Nate said he had a heart attack. Right there in the front yard. Said it was quick. Probably painless.” His voice had gone flat. No inflection, no emotion, no life.
Tears stung her eyes. She blinked a couple of times. Crying wouldn’t help. And neither would standing here, staring at him like an idiot. “What can I do?”
He shook his head. “Nothing.” He shoved the phone in his pocket. “Thanks for the offer, but I’m good.”
Yeah, he wasn’t good. She could see it in the tense lines of his body. In the way his fingers rubbed against the base of his throat. In the way his eyes couldn’t quite meet hers.
“Nick?” She couldn’t help the way her voice cracked.
He shook his head and shoved the envelope he was carrying at her. “Can you give this to Em for me, please?”
She took it, her numb fingers closing around the paper automatically. He headed toward the front door.
“Where are you going?” She said the words so quietly she wasn’t sure he heard them.
He paused, but didn’t turn around. His shoulders hitched, just the tiniest bit. “Nebraska.”
And then he hurried through the living room and disappeared around the corner. A handful of seconds later, the front door clicked shut.
She stood there, staring at the now empty space in front of her. And then she realized what the hell she was doing—or in this case, not doing—and hurried after him.
But she was too late.
He was gone.
She pulled open the door and raced down the walk, the icy wind cutting right through her sweater. Goosebumps exploded across her skin. She got to the sidewalk, but there was no sign of him.
The weight of a thousand worlds settled directly on top of her heart. It was heavy and painful. Made it hard to breathe. And it was so much more painful than anything she’d ever experienced.