Chapter 6
Dakota
I was up before the sun this morning. The moving company had called last night to let me know my things would arrive today, and I wanted to get an early start. I could hear my dad in the kitchen as I made my way downstairs. He always got up early, even after he stopped going out with the guys. He’d brew the coffee and read the paper while he waited for Mom.
“Morning.” He smiled as I came into the kitchen.
“Morning.” I yawned. I’d tossed and turned most of the night. Memories of my teen years have been filling my head for days. I thought finally talking to Hank would help, but it only made things worse, and now even more confusing.
“Your mom will be up soon to start breakfast. It’s another day of hauling hay. Think you could run the water truck again?” He smiled as he folded the section he was reading and placed it in front of him.
“The movers called last night. The truck will be here in about an hour. I don’t think I’ll be able to do anything today.” I frowned as I thought about how much work this was going to be. I hated moving, and I had a lot to unpack.
“How about you take a break to do the water, and I’ll have the guys come help with the moving?” He gave me the look he used to do when I was a kid and he was requesting I do something, but it wasn’t really a request.
“I’ll try, Daddy.” I sighed. I poured myself a cup of coffee, and then went outside. The sun was just rising over the trees. I smiled as I thought about having my own place here. Don’t get me wrong, I love my parents, but I need a place to call my own.
*****
The guesthouse was right behind the woodline and a little to the left of the big house. Jeffry had lived in it when I was younger, but for some reason he moved into the bunkhouse and has stayed since. The guesthouse has been empty, and when Dad offered it to me, I figured it was the perfect compromise. I’d be close, but still have my own place.
I stepped off the porch and followed the path down to my new home. Dad must have asked one of the guys to mow the weeds down because everything was neat and manicured. The small white house sat between two large oak trees. There were window boxes for flowers, and a tire swing hanging from one of the large branches. When I reached the door, I unlocked it and stepped inside. There was some dust, but for the most part it looked as if someone had done some cleaning. The floors had been swept and mopped, and blinds had been hung in the windows. This had to be the work of Louise. Out of the five of us, she was the one who dreamed of following in our mom’s footsteps.
I meandered from room to room, planning where I’d put everything and imagining how it would all look. The tiny apartment I shared with Alex would have fit in the living room here. It wasn’t much more than a small cottage, but our apartment in New York had been little more than a shoebox.
“Is this where we’re going to live?” I jumped when I heard Jack’s voice. I spun, grabbing my chest, and attempting to calm myself.
“This is our house. You wanna pick your room?” I smiled as I watched him. He nodded vigorously before dashing from room to room, moving about the house. There were three rooms in the back. A master, and two identical extras. A Jack and Jill bathroom was between them.
“I like this one.” He hung on the door frame. “It looks out over the fields.”
“Then that room shall be yours.” I waved my arms as if I were a queen granting him the room. He bowed and we both erupted into laughter.
“It’s here!” he exclaimed. “It’s finally here!” His feet thundered as he rushed outside to meet the moving truck.
I stepped onto the porch just as the truck was backing up. Jack was bursting with excitement. “My basketball is in there.” He pointed as he bounced. “I’ve been waiting forever.”
Two guys climbed out of the truck; one was laughing at Jack’s antics. “Just lead the way.” He motioned to me.
I propped open the front door and directed them where to put the different pieces of furniture. Some things still had to be assembled, but others were just going to be heavy to move, like the couch.
“I can’t wait to sleep in my bed tonight.” Jack grinned.
“Well, we might be sleeping at Grandma and Grandpa’s one more night. We have to get all of this put together.” I looked around at the sea of boxes that were collecting on the floor.
“Ah, man.” He kicked at the floor. “Maybe Hank can help?” His eyes widened as if he had just come up with the best idea ever.
“Hank is going to be tired after stacking hay all day.” I pushed the chair the movers had just brought in over to the side. The floors were wood in the living room, so it was a little easier to move things around. Jack’s smile faltered, but he kept moving the smaller boxes. “Let’s just see what we can get done.” He nodded and started carrying boxes marked “kitchen” into the kitchen.
The movers spent about an hour unloading everything, and then they left. I turned in a slow circle, taking it all in. It didn’t seem like much when I packed it in New York, but looking at it all now I just don’t know where it’s all going to go.
*****
We spent the better part of the day moving the boxes into the corresponding rooms, only stopping for me to do a water run. I really didn’t have the time for it, but if I wanted to get help moving some of the heavier things, this would earn me points. “Do you think I can go swimming again today? Hank says they go every day when it’s hot.” Jack rocked on his feet.
“Let’s get your room set up then if you’re not going to be here to help.” I smiled as I waded around all the clutter and attempted to get into Jack’s room.
His bed was in pieces, but the dresser and bookcase were against the wall. “Why don’t you start putting your toys and books away, and I’ll work on the bed. Then we can sleep here.” I motioned to the boxes along the wall labeled “toys”.
“We got a lot of stuff.” Jack sighed as he started tearing up the boxes while I grabbed the tool bag I’d left in the family room.
“We sure do.” I wiped at the sweat trickling down my face. It was another hot day, and it was hot in the house from having the doors open when the movers were here.
I stood the headboard up against the wall and pulled the two side rails over. As I was attempting to attach the side rails, the headboard flipped over, causing everything to crash to the floor. I sat down, bent my knees, and rested my arms on them.
“Mom, are you ok?” Jack rushed over.
I nodded but didn’t look up right away. I was trying to hold my frustration in, and I didn’t want him to see me lose it. “I’m fine, buddy. Just frustrated with this bed.”
“It’s a pain in the ass,” He patted my shoulder.
“What did you say?” I lifted my head and stared at him.
“What?” He shrugged. “That’s what Dad said when you guys bought this. I helped him put it together and he said it was a pain in the ass.” He looked all serious as he explained the memory, and then his mouth curled up on one side before we both started laughing.
“Maybe you can help me then.” I tried to catch my breath as we calmed down.
“Sure.” He moved over to where the toppled headboard was leaning against the wall and propped it back up.
“Ok, you hold that still, and I’ll clip this in.” I lifted the side rail once again, but this time with Jack’s help the bed didn’t move. The pieces clicked together, and we moved to the other side. “I should have asked you to help when I first tried to do this. You’re not a baby anymore.” I ruffled his hair as we both stepped back to admire our work. “I will need one of the guys to help get the mattress and box spring in place. It’s way too heavy for us.”
“But we did good.” Jack jumped in excitement and then offered me a high five.
“Yes, we did.” I brushed my hands on my thighs. “Why don’t you finish emptying these boxes, and I’m going to start on the kitchen, then maybe we can eat here tonight.”
“K, Mom.” Jack grabbed another box and began pulling items out of it to place on the shelf.
I made my way into the kitchen, pausing to look out the living room window at the guys coming out of the barn. Several had their shirts off and were glistening from sweat in the sunlight. Jeff was waving his arm around as a few flung water at each other. I looked to see if Hank was among the group, but didn’t see him. I felt a bit of sadness and then anger because I shouldn’t be feeling the way I do. I can’t explain it; there are days when it feels like I just lost Alex yesterday and everything hurts. I feel this immense sadness that just weighs me down and all I want to do it cry. Then, there are days when I see Hank and I remember what things were like with us, and I miss that. I feel like it’s been a year and I should be moving on. I start to let myself think about what may be and then I’m swamped with guilt.
I went into the kitchen to start putting dishes away, when there was a knock at the door. I didn’t know who would be coming over since they just got back from the fields. I set the plate down that I’d just unwrapped and made my way to the door. When I opened it, Hank was standing there in jeans and a gray tee. “Did your daddy ever teach you to not open the door until you know who it is?” He smiled softly.
“Fine.” I went to close the door and he stopped it by placing his hand on the wood.
“I heard you might have some heavy stuff in here that needs moving.”
“I do, but I don’t think I’d be much help.” I frowned as I imagined Hank on one end of the couch and me on the other.
“I brought help.” He motioned behind the open door and Jeff’s head poked around. “Thought you might want some experienced guys doing this so nothing get broken.” He chuckled.
“Sure. Thanks.” I backed up so they could come inside. As they stepped through the door, they removed their hats and placed them on the dining table. “I have a bed that’s part way put together in the back room, and then I could really use your help with mine.” I motioned to the room Jack had claimed. He cheered when Hank and Jeff appeared and stacked his mattress. They spent the better part of an hour getting everything just right before they left, taking Jack with them. I had plans to finish unboxing the kitchen, and I’d rather have him outside with them than cooped up in here. I was surprised he wanted to go swimming though, after all the resisting he did when Alex tried to teach him.
When the sun started to set, I called it quits for the night. I’d gotten enough unpacked that I could go into town tomorrow and begin stocking our pantry. Tonight, I just wanted to go grab some supper at the big house, and then relax in my living room with a good book. It felt different, being back now. I had a place that was mine. It was small, but it was enough for me, and it was close enough that I could get help if I needed it, but far enough away for us to have our privacy. Jack and I would be happy here, and I think that would make Alex happy, too.