Chapter 46
SUTTON
Today has been a shit show. No. That’s not even close to an accurate description of what this day has been.
It’s been a fucking fiasco for the ages, and one I never want to live through again.
I’m glad Dad was able to talk some sense into my brothers and me because we were ready to head to Sante Fe and pay Jared a visit at his fancy condo.
Sisi only found out when he didn’t show up today for photos.
So yeah, it took some of Dad’s reasoning and calmness to keep the three of us from going off the rails because our baby sister is devastated.
Instead, we stayed with her all afternoon, even after the reception was supposed to be over.
Even as emotionally devastated as she was, she still impressed all of us with her strength.
She had every right to crawl into bed and cry the day away, but she didn’t do that.
She spent the afternoon at our parents’ kitchen table, making lemonade out of lemons.
It was one of the rare times that the four of us were together with our parents.
I think the stress of the day finally caught up to her though and at our urging, she finally shed the wedding dress and went to lay down in her old room.
I’m not far behind her, urgently wanting to take the edge of the day off.
When I open the fridge door, I see it’s fully stocked, an immediate reminder that there was supposed to be a reception in the tent outside tonight.
I sigh and grab a few beers and start to head for the back door and to the patio around my parents’ pool when my phone pings.
Shadow: See you soon?
Me: Yeah, wrapping up here. If you want to walk this way, I can meet you in town at the bar?
Shadow: Sounds good. See you in a bit
I smile at my phone before tucking it back into my pocket. When I step outside, I find my two brothers sitting around the patio table, looking just as dejected as me. I offer them each a beer. Slade takes one and tips the bottle at me in thanks, but Sly waves me off.
“Appreciate it, but I’m exhausted. I’m going to get back to my place. You’re not leaving until tomorrow, right?”
I nod. “Yeah, we’ll be heading out with TJ and Grace in the morning.”
“Good,” he says gruffly, his voice betraying the exhaustion we all feel. “I’ll see you before you guys leave then.”
We wrap each other in a hug and for once, my little brother doesn’t try to squeeze the life out of me. We pat each other on the back and then he leaves the patio.
“Well, today was a fucking disaster,” I groan, taking a sip of my beer. The cool liquid feels as refreshing as it does soothing on a hot summer evening like tonight.
He huffs a disgusted laugh. “Yeah, you can say that again.”
I take in the sun setting over the horizon, one I’ve seen so many times from this exact spot. Unlike all those times which were always filled with laughter and childish banter, tonight is punctuated by a somber vibe that almost rivals a funeral.
As much as sitting here in silence feels like the way we should spend the rest of the evening, I want to leave.
I want to go back to the motel and be with the woman that I love and, for some remarkable reason, loves me back.
I beamed with pride and admiration when she wanted to come to the house, asking if she could help in any way.
I told her to hang with Grace and TJ though because honestly, I don’t think there was anything she could do to help.
I’m planning on my sister and Kelsey having many days in the future that they can get to know each other without the drama of today.
The sound of metal skittering across the table draws my focus away from the horizon and down to the table. I see the same set of keys that Slade tossed at me a week ago, back at Gloria’s.
I don’t look at him and instead go back to admiring the sunset. “Really? You’re going to ask me that today? I thought I told you I hadn’t made up my mind yet. Can you stop pushing?” I reach down and flick two fingers, sending the keys sliding back across the table.
“Come on, you know you want to,” he says. “You’ll get the star finally, maybe even two and tie me. Just help me out.”
I take a sip of my beer. “Help you out? You did this to yourself, Slade. I wasn’t the one that wanted to keep opening restaurants. Park City? Sure. Gloria’s? Yes. Seattle though? I was clear from day one that I would consider it. I never said yes,” I bark back.
He huffs a dismissive laugh. “That’s rich. Don’t go all soft on me now. I need you. You know we’re in this together.”
That sentiment irks me, and my molars grind. We were in this together, but just because we’re family doesn’t mean he gets to hold that over my head forever. I’m allowed to do something selfish, something for me for once.
I scrub my hand over my face, but don’t look back at him because I’m fucking pissed right now.
“I know you love this chase and there are parts of it that I still love too, but I don’t need that constant validation anymore.
It’s not what I want. For once, I’m happy without having to feel like I’m constantly on the move and leveling up.
It’s like I can catch my breath and breathe for a change.
Maybe that’s something you should think about for once.
” I’ve finally ripped the bandaid off and addressed this rift that’s been growing between us, but it feels good to admit that out loud.
It’s like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I feel my body relax.
“Please?” Slade’s voice is a shell of the one I’m so accustom to. It’s not the commanding voice that I’ve heard in kitchens most of my early adult life. It’s not the cocky one he uses at bars, talking to women. There’s no trace of any of that and it makes the hair on my neck stand.
When I look across the table, the eyes staring back at me aren’t the stone cold, calculated ones he’s known for but instead, they’re the soft, gentle ones I remember from spending so much time in Grandma’s kitchen growing up.
That pleading look tells me everything I need to know—he’s finally crumbling under the pressure of the last few months.
I’m face to face with the notion that my family is reeling today and apparently it’s not just Sisi.
I don’t say anything, just stare back at the jarring sight of my brother finally letting his guard down.
He drops his eyes and I can see his throat bob. “You’re right. I know I fucked up. I need your help though. My eyes were bigger than my stomach.” He picks at the label on his beer before looking back at me. “I’m begging you.”
I’m begging you. Those words shake me to my core. Throughout our entire childhood and all the years working together, I have never seen my brother’s confidence waver. I’ve certainly never heard him ask for help, let alone beg for it.
“So, please? Help me?” he asks again.
Fuck. I prop my elbows on my knees and drop my face into my palms. There is no winner here. I can’t see how I’m going to avoid letting someone down.