Chapter 47
KELSEY
Walking up to the old bar on Silver Street, a smile crosses my face when I see the neon sign in the shape of a chili pepper, alternating between red and green.
The script lettering below says ‘The Hatch’, and I chuckle at the nod to the hatch chile, something Sutton said is a staple in New Mexico cuisine.
When I swing open the old door and step inside, I’m flooded with a wave of déjà vu.
It feels like I walked right into Bridger’s, right down to the sticky floors and fake wood paneled walls.
It makes sense why Sutton felt at home there on his first night in Jackson, because this place certainly has the right locals vibe.
I walk through the bar, but don’t see Sutton anywhere.
I do see Grace and TJ at the back of the bar and she waves me over.
“Hey, have you seen Sutton?” I ask.
She shakes her head and flips through the song book next to the karaoke machine. TJ stands behind her, holding her by the waist with his chin propped on her shoulder. “Nope, Sutton told TJ that they were winding down and then he’d be heading this way.”
“Thanks,” I say. “I think I’m going to try and catch him on the way here. See you back here in a bit.”
I walk out of the bar right back onto Silver Street. As much as I’d like to get a drink and hang with Grace and TJ, I want a few minutes alone with Sutton.
Even though I’ve only walked this street a couple times, I already feel like I know my way around. Or maybe, it’s that magnetic pull to Sutton I’ve felt since the night we met that guides me right to his parents’ house on the corner lot.
Seeing the house in the sunset, it’s not hard to picture him and his siblings playing in the yard growing up.
That thought sits in the back of my mind when I walk through the gate in the old, white picket fence.
I pass the tent that just last night was so lively and was supposed to be the site of the reception tonight.
Now it sits empty and feels like a very large, visible and cruel reminder of what was supposed to be a joyous day.
I’m just glad Sisi has brothers like hers because they are all so clearly loyal to each other, even if Slade is still an ass.
Two male voices behind the house cut through the quiet night and I immediately recognize one as Sutton’s.
When I reach the front of the food truck, I look at it with a different appreciation.
I see the potential Sutton sees in it. I see the future back home, in Jackson, that’s better than any I could have imagined.
I turn to round the front of the food truck and head toward the pool, when Sutton’s voice stops me in my tracks.
I peer around the hood of the truck to see Sutton standing and pointing a finger at Slade, who’s still seated at the patio table.
Everything about the scene feels off. He’s so rigid and stiff, and even from this distance, I can see how tight his grip on the back of his chair is, like he’s clinging on to life itself.
When he speaks to his brother, it’s Sutton’s voice that makes my heart lurch into my throat. Everything about it is off. His words are clipped and terse and his normally soothing voice is harsh and agitated.
“That’s the price I’m good with. That’s my last condition for helping you.”
Slade nods solemnly at him, slumped in his chair. “I’m good with that if you are. When do you want to close on Gloria’s? We can finalize the sale whenever you want.”
Sutton sighs, but I hardly register it because did he just say what I think he said? Selling Gloria’s? That couldn’t be what I heard. There’s no—
My thoughts are cut off by his deep, palpably irritated voice. “The sooner, the better. Let’s get this over. Get the paperwork done as soon as you can, OK?”
“Alright, alright. I’ll get right on it Monday morning.” Slade huffs a laugh. “Are you going to go tell your girlfriend now? You’re going to have to break the news to her soon enough.”
Even in the evening twilight and from this far away, I can see Sutton’s jaw tense, matching the unease coursing through every nerve in my body right now. They are talking about selling Gloria’s. This has to be some kind of mistake at best, or at worst, some cruel fucking joke.
I don’t want to be here for this conversation. I don’t want to hear these words, but I can’t bring myself to move. It’s like I’m trapped in my worst nightmare and my sleep paralysis demon has cemented my feet to this spot to make me watch.
Sutton’s shoulders rise and fall with a defeated breath. “I don’t know. That’s the last thing I want to think about right now.”
His brother just shrugs. “Come on. Maybe she’ll visit you in Seattle. I bet she’ll like the apartment.”
Sutton’s eyes shoot up in agitation. “Stop fucking talking about her, Slade.”
“Fine.” Slade holds up a hand in defense. “Suit yourself, but you know you should rip that bandaid off sooner than later.” He takes a sip of his beer and tips his chin to his brother. “But thanks again. I knew you’d come around eventually and I could count on you.”
“You didn’t really leave me much of a choice,” Sutton barks before his brother nonchalantly tosses him a set of keys. I’m sure they are for the apartment in Seattle. Sutton snatches them out of the air, but he might as well have just snatched the breath out of my lungs.
He’s selling Gloria’s and going to work for his brother in Seattle. We haven’t even signed a lease yet for me to officially rent the studio apartment from him.
What does this mean for me? What does it mean for us?
My self-conscious inner-bitch that I was just starting to get used to not hearing from laughs at me, snapping me out of my trance.
I turn and head right for the gate, as if running away from this spot would remove me from this moment and this overwhelming sense of dread.
I tried to do something for myself again.
I wanted to trust Sutton. I wanted to take a risk and try to find the happiness I’ve never thought I deserved. Once again, it has blown up in my face.
I fling the gate open, not caring at all when it clatters behind me because I can already feel tears pricking the corner of my eyes.
My fight or flight reaction kicks in, my body doesn’t hesitate to choose flight, and it takes on a mind of its own, desperate to get back to the motel.
I turn the corner and start hurriedly walking down Silver Street, trying to stave off the tears I know are coming.
This bitch of a day has other plans though because I don’t even make it two blocks before I see Grace right as she walks out the front door of the bar.
I try to lower my eyes, hoping she won’t see me but that’s a hopeless idea.
It’s a small town, in the evening, and I’m the only other person on the sidewalk out in front of the bar.
Grace spots me in no time, waving with a smile, as always.
My normal instincts kick back in and I put on my best vintage Kelsey face, cool and unbothered.
When I reach her, I collect myself and try not to sound completely out of breath like I’ve been panic walking for the last few blocks.
That’s harder than it sounds though because that’s exactly what I’ve been doing.
“Hey, just came out for some fresh air,” she says before peeking over my shoulder and quirking a curious brow at me. "Did you not find Sutton?”
“Oh, yeah. He was still talking with Slade back at the house. I’m heading back to the motel.
My stomach’s bothering me and I just need to lay down I think.
Maybe I’ll catch up with you guys later at the airport.
” My voice is almost squeaky, even though it’s not a total lie because hearing Sutton did roil my nerves and my stomach.
I also feel terrible for not telling Grace the whole truth.
What am I going to tell her? Hey, my boyfriend is selling the house I just moved into and moving?
She’s never been anything but nice to me, but I don’t want to dive into that. Right now, I just want to be alone.
“Do you need anything? I can run to the pharmacy or the store.” Her reaction is so genuinely concerned that it makes me feel even worse for not telling her the truth.
“No, don’t worry. I’ll be fine. I just think the last couple days are catching up to me.” I wave a hand dismissively.
She gives me a hesitant smile, but seems to accept that answer. “If anything changes, just text me.”
I nod. “Yeah. I will. Thanks, Grace.”
She rubs my shoulder. “Well, I’m going to head back inside and track down my husband. See you at the airport tomorrow. Hope you feel better before then.”
The door to the motel room closes behind me and I slump against the wooden door, crumpling to the floor.
I close my eyes and take a deep breath, just wanting to try and calm down.
That’s easier said than done because the walk back to the motel felt like a sprint, partly because it almost was.
As soon as Grace was out of sight, I raced back to our room.
Now I’m sitting here with my face buried in my hands trying to unravel what just happened.
I take another steadying breath before looking around.
It doesn’t feel like it was only earlier today that Sutton strutted across the room and made me giggle by just being that goofy man I’m so helplessly in love with.
My eyes trail down to the foot of the bed and remember yesterday.
The way his unstrained lust poured out when he looked down at me made me feel like I was the only thing in his world.
Just thinking about that almost makes me want to turn around and go find him.
It’s what’s on top of the dresser that makes my stomach go queasy and my mind race again.
I see his duffel bag sitting there. Thinking back on how often he travels either here or to Seattle, is that just the way he’s always going to be?
Even before he came to Jackson, he’d traveled the world and worked at so many places.
I know he’s been in Jackson longer than any of them, but does that really mean he would stop looking for the next opportunity?
Am I stupid and na?ve to think that he would have ever settled down?
A voice in the back of my head says I should calm down and wait to talk to him. That rational voice also says that what I just saw wasn’t the man I’ve fallen in love with.
I want to listen to that voice so desperately, but it’s the other voice I can’t escape—his own voice. I heard those words. He’s selling that house. He’s moving to Seattle. And he thinks what… I’d come visit him? Or worse, that I’d ever consider leaving Jackson?
My mind is a jumbled mess, but one thing is clear. I can’t process any of this in this room right now with all of these reminders clouding every thought. I pull myself up off the floor and spot the keys to the rental car on the nightstand.
Yes, a drive might be just what I need to clear my mind and actually try to sort out what the hell is going on.