39. CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
“Get the fuck down before you break your neck!” I shout up at Kai from my spot on one of the worn brown leather Chesterfield sofas in the common room as he surfs the coffee table. My eyes dart from the beer bottle in his hand, to Romeo’s belt swinging circles above his head, and down to how far his feet are from the edge of the overused and rickety Chippendale wood.
Egging him on, Cleo cheers from her seat opposite me and collapses onto Kendall, who forces out a salty huff. She’s not been too chipper since Cleo removed Romeo’s belt and draped it around his neck—sliding it back and forth like she was getting ready to strip him naked.
That’s when Kai stepped in and snatched the belt for himself. The knowing glance he shared with her as he slid between Cleo and Romeo was brief, and I’m sure undetected by anyone else but me. A tightness had gathered in my chest, but it wasn’t jealousy. I know Kai and Cleo are close. He talks about her all the time. He’s far more familiar with her body than he is with mine, but… I don’t care. I like that he’s popular.
The Kai kind of popular.
The sexual kind of popular.
The, I really wanna know what all the fuss is about, brand of popularity.
Does that make me crazy?
I know I shouldn’t be excited at the knowledge that half the people in this building have likely done things with my boyfriend I’ve only ever imagined alone in the shower, but I fucking love it.
Because I love that he chose me.
And I haven’t even put out yet… Not fully, anyway.
Thankfully heeding my advice rather than Cleo’s, Kai jumps on Romeo’s back. My best friend grabs his legs as Kai doubles the belt over, ready to use it as a whip.
If Romeo wasn’t virtually my brother and I were attracted to men other than Kai, I may be able to find some appeal in their show. But as that is not the case, I’ll revert back to my original thoughts on the matter which I shared with everyone earlier this evening: Midweek drinking is never a good idea.
Our lives might feel like a non-stop holiday right now, but the high of finding a home away from home wrapped up in an accepting and carefree bubble still comes with a jarring wake-up call and a grimy hangover.
Maybe it’s because Christmas and New Years flew by in a surreal haze that I agreed to a night out for the first time since the evening that shall not be named. But… Who am I kidding? The only part of that which is even remotely true is that none of us has touched a drop of alcohol since our night out at Misty Mountains.
The five of us here, plus Nate and Mavis, have been practically MIA to the outside world. And even though I need tonight just as much as everyone else does, my body is still heavy with the guilt that two people in particular aren’t part of the group. So I’m lying to myself and attempting to convince my conscience that I’m doing Kai a favor, and trying my best to keep up the farce. Because, if I put it out into the universe, someone somewhere might pick it up and believe it to be true.
Fuck. My. Life.
I can safely say this has been the hardest festive season of my twenty-four years.
Romeo and I swore off gifts and boycotted all decorations with no regard for how those around us felt about it—bar the tree Saxon and Andy’s niece, Mia, decorated. So, when Kai kissed my neck and gave me doe eyes, I agreed to tonight like I even have a leg to stand on.
Even when I’m not thinking about Saxon and whether he’s alright, I let Kai get his way most of the time. Big focus on most, because right now his tattooed fingers are making grabby hands at the beers beside me.
I love seeing him happy, but the levels at which he’s decided to be carefree this evening have got me a little wary.
Kai is not a drinker.
This totals two times I’ve ever seen alcohol enter his system.
I guess I should be stoked that he trusts Romeo enough to let loose, but Kai is nothing if unpredictable.
Looking down at the half-full bottle in my hand, I take my final sip for the night and hand it off to him.
“You sure?”
I nod. He wants more, so he can have half. He’s my responsibility now and I take my job very seriously.
With one arm wrapped around Romeo’s neck, Kai downs the beer, switches arms, and smacks Romi on the ass with the belt. “Tally-ho!” He points, directing Romeo to the remaining beers like I hadn’t just given him half of mine.
“Alright, alright!” I stand up and tug Kai down. Getting the belt out of his clutches is easier said than done, though, and it’s only when Kendall steps in that I’m able to pry it free.
“Get yourself dressed.” I toss it back to Romeo who, in less than three seconds, has taken to simping the fuck out over Kendall. It’s hard to watch, but the glutton in me can’t get enough of all the cringe. And he dared call me out for how bad I was at covering up my relationship with Kai. The difference is this seems pretty one-sided. A kind of, she says jump, and he asks how high, situation.
Not one to be outdone in the company of friends, Kai stands directly in front of me and rests his forearms on my shoulders. “Happy one month, Pretty Boy,” he whispers—the left side of his lips curling up in that infuriatingly sexy smirk of his.
“Is that what this is all about?” I slide my hands into my pockets casually, just to annoy him.
I can feel his muscles tense against my shoulders as he holds his expression. Calling my bluff, the tip of his tongue pokes into the corner of his mouth and slices at my Achilles heel. “Fuck,” I huff out as his hands glide across my back and bring me closer. Even three and a half beers deep, he knows he owns me. Knows every tiny, minute way to make me weak at the knees.
Tilting my head, I move in for a kiss, but the second my lips ghost his, Kai’s hands drop from my shoulders and he steps back.
Unimpressed, I look at him as he apathetically holds his hands up as if to say, maybe, then lets his body go limp and falls onto the sofa where I’d been sitting not thirty seconds ago. “It’s been one month since I gave you the best blow job of your life. But…”
Playing into the fact the remainder of our crew is hanging on his every word, Kai leans over the side of the couch and helps himself to another beer. Flopping down beside him, I wait in agony as he twists off the cap, tosses it onto the coffee table, and takes a long sip before pointing the bottle at me.
“Though it’s been eight weeks since you couldn’t hold out any longer and just had to kiss me first.”
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is my first adult relationship.
“Well, isn’t this the golden fucking ticket? "Romeo splutters.
Trying to make myself as small as possible, I bring my legs to my chest and curl into the arm of the sofa.
I’m not ashamed. I don’t care who knows, with the caveat that Romeo didn’t find out in this exact way. If I were the one to tell him, fine, but when our shared love language is a constant battle of one-upmanship, this is not the kind of ammunition I need him to have.
“Don’t worry, Pretty Baby.” Kai’s hand grips my shoulder. “Everyone here knows I’m irresistible. It’s not your fault. It’s my insatiable animal magnetism.”
“He does have a point,” Cleo chimes in. Uninvited. As always.
Always.
Always.
She’s always fucking there.
Ever since Nate took over from Andy as head bartender and Romeo permanently tethered himself to Kendall’s hip, Cleo’s constant shit-stirring has taken the term grating to dizzying new heights.
Weakened but not deterred, I spin and nuzzle into Kai’s side. “I’m hungry.”
With a sigh, Kai holds his hand out to Cleo. “Where’s the other bag?”
“I’m not your slave,” she scoffs, but hands him a reusable shopping bag, anyway.
“You used to be.” The words roll off Kai’s tongue like having fucked half of your friend group is completely normal. “Here, Pretty. I’m always thinking of you.”
Taking the bag from him, I shift position and rummage through it. “Crisps and nuts? You’re kidding, right? This isn’t sustenance.”
“It’s all you’re gonna get,” he sasses me. “Eating is cheating.”
“Eating is cheating,” Romeo and Cleo emphatically repeat.
Kendall looks between them. “What?”
“Oh, I love you so much,” Cleo says in condescending adjacent baby-talk, and makes her way to sit on Kendall’s lap. Pinching her cheeks, she screws up her nose and blows a kiss against her smooshed lips. “It means eating weakens the alcohol’s effect. Sure, responsible adults would make sure they consumed a hearty meal before a night of drinking, but since when have you ever known us to be responsible?”
“Oh yeah, of course.” Kendall shakes her head out of Cleo’s hands and acts as best as she knows how to bluff her way out of another embarrassing situation.
“It’s fine, Ken.” Romeo pushes Cleo’s shoulder—not violently, but hard enough to send her toppling backwards onto the empty sofa cushion beside Kendall.
Cackling to herself like a crazy woman, Cleo straightens her legs up into the air before letting them fall sideways—the perpetual motion forcing her body to tumble to the ground. Then, all class, she crawls towards the remaining beers and tears herself another bottle.
“If you wanna eat something, you should.” Romeo takes a bag of crisps and opens them. “I know you’ve not—”
“I’m not hungry.” Kendall pushes the crisps away with the back of her hand. “I’m not ten. I know what I’m doing.”
With a snicker in my ear, Kai’s endlessly needy hands tug me back to his side as my eyes remain latched on Romeo’s and how they track from Kendall’s mostly finished beer to her defiantly crossed arms. Gulping down the remaining mouthful of his own drink, instead of seeking another, Romeo sinks back into the Chesterfield, crosses one leg squarely over the other, and begins eating the crisps himself.
“So much for eating is cheating,” Kai’s low voice slinks into my ear as his nose traces from its upper curve and across to my temple.
On second thought, is a night out really that good of an idea?
A few beers have proved enough to send our minds into an acceptable realm of forgetfulness of events recently passed. Maybe the pair of us should just call it a night, retire to one of our rooms, and do that thing we’d been talking about almost non-stop until all hell broke loose and our family was torn the fuck apart.
Yes , I nod my head to myself.
Now seems like the perfect time to admit ninety-five percent of my inhibitions don’t exist anymore—
“Eat.” The bag of salted cashews is thrust against my chest, and Kai’s lips are tugging at my ear lobe half a second later. “You’re gonna need your energy for what I’ve got planned.”
Hail Mary, Mother full of grace!
What he’s got planned?
Kai hasn’t done anything with even the semblance of dominance since discovering that my body makes for the perfect pacifier of his anxieties. Literally.
I’m covered with hickeys and bites.
Some mornings I wake up and he’s sucked my fingers purple, but that’s as far as it’s gone since our night at Misty Mountains.
I teased Kai for days leading up to it, about how Mavis had a crush on him and that I told her it was okay to make a move. None of it was true, of course, but she played along—dancing away between us. Though I could see beneath the strobing lights and fog of intoxication, that his eyes were only ever on me.
I’m all he needs.
And that’s why there was already a room booked upstairs.
A suite.
On the top floor.
For two nights.
He still doesn’t know what I had planned.
Not about the room, or the bottle of lube and condoms I’d packed because that night ended with a body beaten to a bloody pulp on the parquet floorboards of Misty’s nightclub, and Kai and I torn in opposite directions.
Saxon was my priority. Mine and Romeo’s.
Fuck, it was unforgivable.
That shit broke my heart.
Having to look into Saxon’s icy-blue eyes and tell him I couldn’t leave Canada with him was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Since we met, there has never been a point in my life where he wasn’t there when I needed him, and I abandoned him.
But only because of the story he wrote.
He made his bed—and a string of terrible fucking decisions—and fled the country with one of the closest things Kai has to a best friend.
She’s the reason he did what he did. The pair of them are toxic beyond comprehension, but at least they balance each other out… I guess.
I know it’s not the end for us.
Romeo and I will see him in nine months.
We’re scheduled to fly back to London one week before the rest of my life starts. One week to get my shit together and push everything I’ve built here into the part of my brain that holds the fond memories of my past, that I only have time to get to when I’m not studying my ass off, or working myself ragged.
Tearing the bag of nuts open, I pour some directly into my mouth. “So what’s next on your agenda, then?”
Diving his fingers into the bag, Kai makes a show of pulling out one—one— cashew, putting it in his mouth, and licking his fingers. “Is our company not exciting enough for you?”
I rotate my neck and roll my eyes because if I don’t make a joke out of his behavior, I’m going to self-combust. “The heels and three extra inches of Cleo’s tits we’re being assaulted with tell me that—”
“Assaulted?” she shrieks. “These babies are perfection.” Kneeling by the end of the coffee table, Cleo cups her boobs and jiggles them.
“Put ‘em away,” Kai gripes, not giving her an inch of the attention she wants.
“What?” Cleo leans onto the coffee table with her elbows and pushes her tits together so much we’re all surprised her nipples don’t pop out.
“Pft,” Kai waves dismissively. “Shake your ass and I might pay attention.”
With determination written all over her face, Cleo crawls to me and Kai, kneels on the carpet, and wedges her forearms on the sliver of couch cushion between us. “You two are just the perfect couple.” She beams with a cheesy grin, bopping us on the nose. “My K…J.”
“Oh, shit. Call the papers. They’ve got a fucking couple name,” Romeo teases.
Shuffling around, Cleo bows. Satisfied with herself.
“Seriously, though.” She spins her head back to Kai. “What the hell are we doing? I didn’t get dressed up to sit here all night. And please don’t tell me it’s The Donegal.”
“Wouldn’t be much of a celebration without everyone involved…” The sentence started strong, but as soon as it hit his ears, he realized his mistake. Kai knew what he wanted to say, and the words were correct. They just, unfortunately, have more than one meaning.
Sensing the tension, Cleo does what she does best and makes it all about her. “Fuck yes!” she claps, bouncing up and down on her knees. “You’re the best, Kai. Nate is gonna love seeing me in this.”
“But you still deny anything is going on?”
“Quiet you!” Cleo flaps her hand behind her in Kendall’s direction.
“Is this really such a good idea? Last time we went there, you and Saxon almost tore a kid’s arm out of the socket.”
“He deserved it!” everyone claps back at me in unison.
“Okay, okay.” I hold up my hands. “But the club had to close early, and you remember Alma’s reaction—”
“My ears are burning.” The almost downtrodden voice of Alma comes from behind me. All eyes are on her as she strolls to the last six-pack and helps herself. Shaking the sleeve of her sweater down over her hand, she cracks off the twist-top lid and tosses it onto the pile. Perching herself on the worn arm of the Chesterfield beside Kai, she takes along swig and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. “Is anyone going to say thank you?”
Ever the minx, Cleo jumps to her feet, skips over, and plants a pink lipstick kiss on her cheek. “Thanks, toots.”
Alma rolls her eyes and rubs off the lipstick.
“You are my number-one girl.” Kai taps Alma above her knee and lets his hand rest there.
Slowly, Alma blinks her eyes and stares blankly forward.
Does he even know he’s doing it?
Cause me and Alma have sure noticed.
“Just don’t make me regret it,” she says after an excruciatingly uncomfortable length of silence. “And for the love of god, follow the rules. I don’t want a repeat of last time—”
“No making a scene. No picking fights with the guests. Don’t get too drunk. And everyone has to show up for work tomorrow,” Cleo states proudly, counting each rule off on her fingers. “And that last one is directed at you two,” she smirks, pointing to Romeo and Kendall with both index fingers.
“You sure this is okay, Alma?”
She shrugs, not even bothering to make eye contact with me.
“Did you wanna join us?” I ask so sweetly I’m surprised my teeth don’t crumble from my jaw.
“I’m on duty. Got another newbie due tonight.”
Good.
I’d extended the olive branch. It matters not that it wasn’t picked up.
“Okay, final round before we go.” Kai slides a fresh beer across the coffee table towards Kendall.
“Leave mine for Alma.” Romeo offers, scrunching the empty crisp packet in his hands.
“Suit yourself.” Kai hands the bottle to Alma’s covetous, outstretched hand. She gulps down the remainder of the first and opens the second in quick succession.
“So much for being on duty,” I huff under my breath, but two-and-a-half beers on an empty stomach are already confusing my senses and it comes out louder than expected. Or maybe I just don’t give a fuck about Alma and her bullshit.
Alma’s mouth opens with a rapid intake of breath, but Kai slaps me on the chest with the back of his hand.
“He’s only joking.” His eyes bat up at our superior. Almost too rapidly, Alma’s stern demeanor breaks and she smiles, running her fingers through the almost completely faded indigo of his hair.
“You better look after him, Mr. Jesse.” Her voice is threatening even if she still can’t be bothered looking at me. “This little monster is special to me.”
“Very fucking special,” Cleo chimes in. Miming ‘sex’ with her fingers like thirteen-year-olds do.
“Sit down.” Romeo throws a pillow at her, and I’m thankful for it. It’s hard enough to be reminded of the closest thing Kai’s ever had to a relationship before I came along every time I see Alma. It digs at my guts when she puts her hands on him, all maternal and claiming, because there’s still something there—from her perspective. And no matter how much I hate to admit it, it threatens me. She’s our boss. She could change our shifts or even our jobs if she felt spiteful enough. Hell, I’m still shocked she didn’t boot me out with Saxon—
“Baby… Baby!” Kai’s fingers click. “Where’d you go?”
“Too much shit in that tiny brain of his,” Romeo touts without so much as a smidgen of hesitation. Just like he should. Just like he always does. And, now that I think of it, maybe having Cleo around to pick up Saxon’s slack isn’t such a bad thing after all. It gives me less downtime between Romeo’s barrages to think about all the different ways Alma may be plotting my sabotage.
With his thumb on my jaw and his fingers curling around the side of my neck, Kai brings my face to his. Heading straight for my sweet spot, he trails kisses up from the crook of my neck to just below my ear. “You’re the only one for me, my pretty boy.” Unlike mine, his words are heard by no one else. “I’m addicted to the faces you pull when I’m choking on your cock.”
“You’re not helping,” I all but moan as his tongue runs back and forth—searching out my pulse.
The coffee table creaks and both our eyes are drawn to Cleo sitting on its edge, forearms forward on her thighs, and watching us intently. “Oh, don’t mind me.” She gestures with her hand for us to keep going.
“Pathetic,” Alma gripes, walking back to her desk in a huff.
“Seriously. Keep going. I’ve been dying to see my KJ in action.” Cleo licks her lips, her eyes hungry.
Kai catches my chin, and my body follows his lead.
Romeo is right there, but any twinge of apprehension drifts away as soon as Kai’s lips meet mine.
This isn’t just a peck. We’re putting on a show, and it’s fucking doing it for me.
It’s invigorating. Cleo and Kendall’s eyes—and possibly Romeo’s as well—are on us, and I couldn’t care less. The scent of beer and the cinnamon gum Kai always seems to be chewing since he quit smoking is making me drunk in a whole new kind of way. Sending me right into the type of intoxication where inhibitions don’t exist and all the things you once believed were steadfast rules suddenly seem stupid because, with me, Kai has no walls. And with Kai, I have no more excuses to hold back.
My tongue and bottom lip are tingling from how ferociously Kai is attacking them. Sucking them. Needing them inside his mouth—maybe even more than he’s living off the attention right now.
“Fuck!” Cleo gasps.
I turn to look at her but don’t get far because Kai is still biting on my bottom lip, but I can see she’s laid out flat on the coffee table with her arms spread out to her sides. “That was better than I imagined… Nate better not be a frigid fuck tonight.”
“He doesn’t finish work till three!” Alma bellows from her post and Cleo flips her the bird.