Chapter 11 The Threshold
The Threshold
Holly
Oh, my actual Goddess. Jake is an incredible kisser.
It’s like he’s rewarded my bravery with all the gold stars and glitter and everything glorious under the sun.
I’ve never enjoyed kissing a man with a beard before, but his isn’t as scratchy as I’d imagined.
It’s actually kind of soft, and the way his facial hair gently abrades my face as we deepen things again is surprisingly pleasing.
It’s like he’s marking me in some way, making me his on the outside as well as in.
That’s probably a weird way to look at it, but whatever, I’m not into thinking too much about it right now. Not actually into thinking at all, really.
I’m a puddle of sensation, all frissons of energy and buzzy electric heat.
Jake’s lips are so soft. I never would have thought a mountain man would have such soft and supple lips.
And the way he directs my mouth is divine.
I moan gently, gripping his shirt and canting my head for him as he changes angles again, letting him guide, letting him take.
Softening into him. Melting into his incredible masculinity.
I called him sweet earlier, and he is. But he’s also not. Not right now, not like this. There’s something wild inside him. I can feel it. Something primal and vital, and perfectly amazing. Something I want to feel more of.
Something I want to know.
I reach out with my senses, even as they’re addled with Jake’s kisses, and I feel that wildness, that untamed part of him.
Goddess, it’s beautiful.
He’s like an oak tree, deeply rooted in the Earth. Perfectly grounded while reaching all that he is toward the heavens. Provider. Protector. Patient sentinel. Powerful lover.
I feel that in my blood and bones, his love.
That it’s directed solely at me is humbling. Awe inducing.
Heady.
My fingers play over his chest as we kiss, and it’s not until he breaks our connection that I realize I’ve undone his shirt and pants.
“Hols,” he says breathlessly, and I melt even more at his name for me. I’ve never had a nickname before, not really. “Babe, I want you more than you know, but I’m not sure this is a good idea.”
I frown as his words settle into my brain. “Why not?”
“I don’t want you to do anything you might regret. Not with me. We have all the time in the world for getting physical. We don’t have to—”
“I want you, Jake,” I tell him boldly. “All of you.”
I’ve seen the truth of him. Seen enough to know he is all that he seems and more. And I want to know him intimately. Want to merge our energies. Want to see what we can create together.
Sure, it still scares the crap out of me, but that’s the funny thing about fear. It’s on the same spectrum as excitement in the way our bodies process information. It’s also the threshold we must cross to fully live.
There’s immense freedom on the other side of fear, and I’m done living in slavery to the chains of the past. They have no hold on me now. Not here. Not with Jake.
Not ever again.
“Please, Jake,” I say softly, slipping my hand up to his cheek.
“I want to be with you. Yes, I’m scared, but I also know that this is the path forward.
You.” I caress his temple with my free hand.
“You are exquisite, Jake Bryson. A gift from the Divine. I’m tired of being afraid.
Tired of hiding. I want to feel alive, and I do with you. ”
I also want more.
He touches my wrist, holding my hand to his face. “Holly—”
“I feel seen with you, Jake,” I tell him honestly. “Beautiful and desired.”
“You’re all those things, babe. All that and more. I just… are you sure? There’s no need to rush this.”
“There’s no reason to wait either.”
He sucks in a breath, and my heart rate speeds up. I know he wants this too. I can feel his arousal beneath me through our clothes.
He’s been hard for a while.
And the fact that he’s delayed his own satisfaction, not even mentioning how turned on he is, choosing to focus purely on my comfort and pleasure instead… Well, it makes me feel safe and cherished in a way I hadn’t expected.
“I trust you,” I say, gazing into his dark eyes. “I want to trust you, Jake.” And that’s the Goddess’s honest truth. “Maybe this is fast, maybe not. But it’s right. Whatever this thing is between us. It’s right.”
“I feel that too.”
His agreement spurs me on, and I drop my hands to his shoulders, shifting my hips in a small figure eight on his lap.
“Holly,” he groans, sliding his hands to my hips.
My name in that tone is music to my ears, and I smile at him and shift my hips again.
“We are not having sex here on the couch,” he says firmly.
Before I can question him, he stands, cupping my butt in his hands and taking me with him. I help him out by wrapping my legs around his waist and slipping my arms around his neck, a giddy giggle escaping as he carries me down a dark hallway to his room.
I’m sure in another scenario, he would have stopped to flip on the lights, but I’m glad he’s still gripping my butt. Glad he’s kissing me again. I kiss him back, letting my body say what my words failed to express properly, all of me aching for all of him.
He sets me on his bed carefully, then kneels between my legs, resting his hands on my thighs and gazing up at me with reverence.
“You sure about this?”
I nod, smiling. “I’ve never been more sure in my life.”
He gives me one of his handsome smiles, and I feel even lighter inside. Honestly, if it weren’t for his touch grounding me, I’d be floating on air. At least, that’s how it feels right now.
“Protection?” he asks, pragmatic as ever.
His query gives me pause, though. Do I want to use protection with him? I hadn’t really considered that. I don’t do allopathic birth control, I’m aligned with the moons and—
“Are you allergic to latex?”
His question takes me out of consideration about where in my cycle I am. It’s not like I’ve had to track it for fertility or anything, but maybe I should start. Still, I have a red moon cycle, and just started waning, so I should be good.
In theory.
Goddess, I am not ready for babies.
“Holly?”
The concern in Jake’s voice has me snapping my attention to him. He gazes up at me with those dark eyes, and I melt all over again at the caution I see there. The obvious care.
“Sorry,” I say, meaning it. “I was just thinking about where I am in my cycle. I bleed with the full moon.”
He nods, his concern shifting to a more pensive look. “So, you’re in your follicular phase right now.”
The blasé way he just threw that out there, like it’s no big deal to talk about a woman’s cycle—not to mention his awareness of the moon’s phases—makes me want him even more. I rest my hands on top of his, smiling as I nod.
He gives me a soft smile. “I’d feel more comfortable using protection this first time. As much as I’d like to feel you bare—”
“We have time,” I repeat his words from earlier back to him, feeling the depth of them. The meaning. “And I don’t have any allergies.”
While I’d rather experience the fullness of him too, I see the wisdom in his decision. The care. And that he’s alluding to more than one encounter with me makes me so happy I grin.
He turns his hands so that they clasp mine, and he lifts one to his lips.
“So damn beautiful,” he murmurs before kissing my other hand.
I melt at his praise and gently tug his hands closer to me. He moves smoothly, following my subtle, unspoken request and raising up from his kneeling position to kiss me properly.
Soon, I’m under him, his powerful body caging mine as we make out again, and I love every second. Every ounce of pressure, every glide of his tongue, the brush of his soft beard against the tender skin of my face. A heady sensation floats through my body, even as I’m fully grounded in the moment.
Here with Jake.
It’s perfection, really. And at the same time, it’s not enough.
I push his open flannel off his shoulders and tug his t-shirt up from the back so I can glide my hands along his skin. His muscles shift beneath my palms, and I’m surprised at how cut he is. Who knew he had all this definition under his clothes? All this strength.
I moan my approval, pushing his shirt higher, and Jake gets my message and helps me out.
He breaks our kiss to reach behind his neck and tug his shirt off over his head. Then he’s back to kissing me, helping me with my blouse and bra along the way.
He leaves my mouth again, and I sigh, but my disappointment is short-lived as Jake trails kisses down my body, taking my jeans and panties with him as he goes.
There’s something intriguing about the way his beard brushes against my skin. I’m not sure if I like it exactly, but I definitely don’t hate it. In fact, when he nestles between my legs and starts kissing my pussy, I officially change my view on bearded men.
“Goddess, Jake,” I moan, spearing my fingers through his hair and holding him to me.
“Yes,” he grunts against my tender flesh. “My goddess.”
He goes back to feasting on me, and in moments, I’m writhing beneath his incredible mouth, delirious with pleasure.
An orgasm tears through me like a rushing wind, and I swear, I feel reborn.
“So fucking beautiful,” he praises as I fall apart. “My goddess loves it when I worship her.”
He goes back for more, and even though I’d love to kiss that incredible mouth, I’m so enamored with his technique, I don’t stop him. I just let him have his way with me, licking and sucking, burying his face in my dripping core.
He takes me over another edge, and another, praising me and calling me his goddess. Worshiping me with that gorgeous and talented mouth.
I’m boneless with pleasure, riding wave after wave of euphoric sensations, and letting myself go. Giving myself to Jake.
He’s above me again, his dick notched at my entrance, and I’m so blissed out, I don’t remember him stripping out of his pants or putting on the condom. I’m glad he’s there, though. At my core, above my face. His dark eyes so full of love, my heart swells.
“Jake,” I say, my voice thick with desire.
He traces his fingers along my jaw, his gaze fixed on mine. “I love you, Hols.”
He enters me in a single glide, the impact both energetic and physical, filling me with a deep sense of Knowing. Of rightness, bliss, and love.
I arch into him, and we kiss again as we find our rhythm, my hips coming up to meet him as he drives into me. He goes deep, all the way to my cervix, and I can’t get enough of the incredible sensation.
“I love the way you fill me,” I tell him breathlessly between kisses.
“I love you.”
The words are simple, but the meaning so powerful, and though he’s said them before, they take my breath away now. There’s a warmth in my heart space, a radiant heat that spreads like honey throughout my body as the truth of his words reverberates throughout my entire being.
“I love you too,” I gasp with his thrusts.
My spirit sings as that truth is finally released, and I wonder idly why I’d been so afraid to say it aloud before. So afraid to let Jake in.
It seems so silly now. So far away.
Everything seems far away now. The entire world faded and blurred until there’s nothing but Jake and me.
Us.
As I orgasm again, my inner walls clenching around Jake’s incredible dick, a tide begins deep in my belly.
Shockwaves of pleasure ripple out in waves of heat and energy, tipping off another orgasm, and then another.
Somewhere deep within my body, the undulations of bliss vibrate into something else.
Something I don’t have a name for.
It’s intense and beautiful though, sending me to another plane of existence. A place of light and harmony. A place I’ve never been before, but somehow intrinsically know as home.
Jake is here with me. We’re in his bed, wrapped together in motes of shimmering pinks and golds. He tells me he loves me, and I believe him. My soul knows this truth.
Knows him.
My steady oak. My destined love. My mountain man.
I don’t know what the future holds for us, but I’ve never been more excited to find out. Whatever it is, I know we can handle it. Side by side, hand in hand, heart to heart.
Together.