65. Hawk
My heart was in my throat, my brain literally stalled as I processed her brutally honest question. Turning my head, I looked at Cooper, the setting sun lighting her dark hair with streaks of copper and gold, and as she stared back at me, her blue eyes, so much like mine, shining in the dying light of the evening, I could see how desperate she was for my answer. The words I said next would likely make or break my relationship with my daughter, and for that reason, I considered them very carefully.
“Cooper, there is nothing in this world that I want more than you.”
“Then where have you been?” she asked, her voice rough as she tried to control her emotions, eyes shining with unshed tears. “Why did it take you so long to decide you wanted to see me?”
Blowing out a breath, I rubbed my hand across my mouth, knowing Wren was probably going to murder me if I did this wrong, but in my heart, I felt that I owed Cooper the truth.
“I know you know about my ex-wife. I know you know about the bad things that I’ve done and the crap I’ve been going through in the last few years.” She nodded, but didn’t speak. “Well, the truth is that I didn’t know about you until just a few weeks ago.”
“What?” Cooper turned, her body facing mine as she lifted onto her knees. “How can that be? You signed all those papers.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“I saw them!” she insisted.
“I know, kiddo. But what you saw was a fake. Those papers? They were never signed by me. Your mom was lied to. I had no idea she was pregnant. Not until recently.”
Cooper sat back, her shoulders sagging as she seemed to deflate.
“Who would lie about something like that?”
A vindictive, manipulative bitch.
“Someone who thought that having a child would be bad for the band, I think. I don’t really have all the details right now. As soon as I learned about you, I dropped everything and came here. Because I needed to see you. To talk to you and your mom and figure out what to do.”
“Do about what?” she asked, eyeing me suspiciously.
“Well, everything, I guess. Getting to know you, for one thing. Seeing if you want to get to know me.” I grinned at her. “Outside of my Wikipedia page, that is.”
“It’s super informative, you know,” she countered, offering me the first hint of a smile I’d seen from her, and I could have sworn my heart squeezed in response.
“I bet it is.”
“You don’t look at it? Don’t you want to know what it says?”
“Kid, I learned a long time ago that I didn’t really care for most of what was said about me on the internet.”
“Why? If I was famous, I’d be looking myself up, like, daily.”
Yeah, she might feel differently about that one day.
“Well, for the most part, the majority of what gets written about me is wrong. Or they’ve taken something that was true and twisted it to mean something else entirely. Fame is a monster that you really can’t control, Cooper.”
“So you didn’t punch that photographer?”
“Oh, no. I totally punched him,” I said with a laugh, then covered it with a cough. “Which was wrong and should never have happened.”
“Please.” She rolled her eyes. I hoped I’d never get tired of watching my kid roll her eyes at me. “I see people get punched all the time. The jocks at school treat fist fights like an official school sport most days.”
“What do they fight over?” It surprised me that there were fights at her small school. Somehow, I had thought that the small-town vibe meant that everyone got along like one of those cheesy shows on TV.
“Dumb stuff,” she said, tilting her head as she thought. “Sometimes sports, or girls or whatever, but mostly just stupid boys saying stupid things and getting all butthurt about it.”
“Sounds about right.”
“So why did you punch that guy?” she pressed.
“Because he was a stupid guy who said a stupid thing and I got all butthurt about it.” Cooper laughed, and I felt like a fuckin’ hero because it was me that had made it happen. “He said something rude about my mom. I was young and reacted badly, and because I am who I am, there were a lot of people around to see it. I ended up paying the price.”
Literally. That jackass cost me half a million dollars in settlement. Fucker.
“Your mom? Where is she now?”
“In Los Angeles. She’s looking forward to meeting you, actually.”
“She is?” Cooper sounded skeptical, and I frowned.
“Of course. Why wouldn’t she be?”
“My mom’s mom doesn’t talk to us,” she answered, the hurt evident in her voice. “I bet having a grandma would be pretty cool. It’s always just been me and mom and Auntie Bri.”
“Oh, Cooper. You have so much more than just a grandma. You have a whole heap of uncles waiting for you, too. But I’m warning you; they’re pretty crazy. You might have to get used to them in small doses. Especially Alex. That guy’s probably certifiable, but he gets away with it because he’s a rock star, you know?”
“Alex? Like, Alex Greenwood from your band?”
“Yeah. Did you Google him, too?” I asked, nudging her playfully with my shoulder.
Cooper ducked her head, a shy smile growing on her pretty face.
“A little.”
“Well, whatever you do, don’t tell him. He’s already conceited enough. I don’t need him thinking that my kid has been looking at him online. He’ll never let me forget it. And remember not to believe everything you read on the internet. That’s why I stay off of it.”
“You really don’t search anyone?”
“I tried to search your mom, actually, but I couldn’t find anything.”
“No kidding,” she scoffed, finally unclenching her arms from around her knees and stretching her legs out toward the lake. “She has, like, a complete ban on using our real names on social media. It’s why we both have Finstas.”
“You have a what now?” I asked, completely confused.
“A Finsta. You know, a fake Insta?” When I just continued to stare blankly, she went on. “It’s an Instagram account that’s not at all connected to your real name. People make them all the time so they can stalk their exes or post stuff they don’t want their parents seeing. Mom said it was the only way she’d allow me to do anything online. We both have them, but she hardly ever uses hers.”
Of course. That made total sense. No way would Wren use her real name online. Not when Tori had threatened her six ways from Sunday. I wondered if Charlie’s guy knew about Finstas, and if so, how he had missed the possibility of Wren having one.
I relished the idea of getting a leg up on Charlie for once.
“So,” I said, trying for casual. “How would someone go about finding your mom’s fake Insta thing?”
Cooper eyed me, her eyes narrow but a smile on her face.
“You lookin’ to slide into her DMs?”
“I don’t know what that means,” I replied but, really, I had a pretty good idea.
“Sure, you don’t. You may be old, but you’re not an idiot.”
“Hey!” I protested, knocking my foot against hers playfully. “I’m not old!” When she only raised one eyebrow at me, I relented. “I’m not that old, I mean.”
“Okay, Boomer.”
“No! Absolutely not! I refuse to accept that moniker. I am an elder Millennial at least, likely straddling the Gen X line, but I am in no way a Boomer.” I crossed my arms, giving a definitive nod.
“Maybe not in age,” Cooper said. “But your attitude is a little sus.”
“Why is it I can only understand half of the words that come out of your mouth?”
“Because you’re old!” she said with another laugh. “We just covered this!”
“That’s enough out of you, young lady,” I said with mock sternness.
“Just give me your phone, old man.”
Handing over my phone, I watched in fascination as Cooper moved her thumbs a million miles an hour, navigating through the process of downloading a new app with impressive finesse.
“I know you and the band have an official account, because I’ve been following you for a year, but based on the dull garbage that gets posted, it’s probably run by an underpaid intern or something.”
I blinked, surprised that she followed the band, but also a little bit flattered, if I was being honest.
“Yeah, I seem to recall being introduced to someone with the title ‘Social Media Manager’ at some point or another, but I can’t say as I’ve ever checked out our accounts or anything. That’s always just been handled for us.”
I sounded like an entitled asshole, but it was true.
“Well, unless you want to have your intern stalk my mom for you, you’re gonna have to get real good at this real fast.”
That didn’t seem likely, but I’d try.
“Okay, so this is your new Finsta account,” Cooper instructed, holding the phone in my direction as she showed me how to navigate the app. “I made you a new email address and stored the password in your notes app in case you forget.” She smiled at me again, like she knew I was gonna forget.
Fuck. I probably was.
“Boomer McGarrett? That’s the name you gave me?” I growled, looking at the name scrawled across the top of the page. The profile picture was a snap that Cooper had somehow taken of the lake, the sun turning the waters liquid gold as it seeped through the trees across from us. It was stunning.
“I thought it fit.” This kid was a riot. “So, I’ve already set you up following me. I’m Callie Arizona.” When I looked at her questioningly, she just shrugged. “What? I like Grey’s.”
“Noted.”
“And this,” she continued, navigating to another account. “Is my mom.”
Looking down, I held my breath, my eyes trying to take it all in at once. The collage of small images visible on the screen before me were all of Wren, dressed casually, with a guitar on her lap. Some of them looked like they were videos, and a couple were black-and-white shots, all artsy and dramatic.
And each one was more beautiful than the last.
She looked exactly the way I remembered her in my dreams. My heart started to pound at the thought of hearing her play guitar again. Of sitting beside her as she strummed out a gentle melody with a smile on her face. I’d give anything to see her like that, relaxed and at peace, nothing but her and me and the music.
I was still daydreaming, imagining all the killer music we could make together, when my eyes made their way to the name at the top of Wren’s account.
The name she had been using as an alias in the wake of Victoria’s interference in our lives.
Songbird.