Chapter 37 #2
She bolts up right, and her eyes widen. "Don’t even joke about that, Olive. I will do literally anything for you to write something for me. I wanted to ask you all tour, but I didn’t think you’d be interested in it."
I get to my feet, wiping my sweaty hands down my jeans, but heat has overpowered me, and my legs no longer want to cooperate. I know they’re attached to my body, I can see them there. But it feels like I’m floating with absolutely no part of me touching the ground.
This is new, and I hate it.
"Olive?"
I hear her voice, I do. But I’m too busy worrying about the numbness in my legs, trying to keep myself steady and upright, instead of responding to her.
Mentally, I’m okay. Physically, just a little bit weak.
Okay, a lot weak.
"Olive?" She calls again, but this time with a sense of urgency, as she rises to her feet, hands gripped firmly on my forearms.
"Sorry. I’m alright, I promise. Can we maybe get out of the sun, though? My body reacts to it sometimes, and it makes me a little tired." Just because I’m getting good at lying about this, doesn’t make it easy, doesn’t mean I like it.
I hate that there are only four people in this world—including my doctor and myself—who know about it.
And that’s nobody’s fault but my own.
I think it’s time to change that.
"Can I tell you something no one else really knows?" I whisper, as though there are people around us who can hear, while the two of us head back the way we came—basket and blanket now in hand.
"Anything."
***
Avery Jones
Are you busy?
I didn’t even have time to lock my phone after sending the text before his call came through. I stare at it blankly for longer than I intended to.
My mind is screaming at me to tap the green answer button for the FaceTime call, but it’s like there’s a delay in getting the message across to my fingers.
"Is everything okay?" Avery asks, his tone of voice frantic and rushed when I finally answer his call.
Protective and heavy—it calms me.
I am now. They’re the words I want to tell him, the words I want to shout so he hears loud and clear that he is the reason I feel better, but I don’t. He doesn’t need the added pressure of knowing that hearing his voice alone is enough to soothe me.
"All good here. Just wanted to check in with you and see how everything’s going." I’ve been keeping tabs on his roster and his stats. Going by our shared calendar, I knew he would probably be home today with an impending night game later.
"When?" He asks, and I pinch my eyebrows together in confusion. By the smirk on his face, I know he’s done what he intended to do.
"When what?" I bite.
"When did we start lying to each other?" He jokes, and I can’t help the laugh that rumbles through my chest.
Free.
"I promise. Everything is okay. I was just out in the sun for a little too long this afternoon with Akira, and my body decided to pay for it before we were done." It’s the honest truth this time, because lying to Avery Jones apparently is something I no longer want to do.
"That used to happen to Orlando, too. Or, it still does and he’s just become used to it," he tells me casually. "Have you missed any of your medication?"
I shake my head in response.
"And you’ve been getting enough rest?"
I nod, because I have been. I’ve made sure of it.
"I wish I were there with you to help put your mind at ease a little."
You’re already doing it.
Instead of confessing, I pout, my bottom lip drooping ever so slightly. His deep blue eyes look back at me, the beauty in his stare like nothing I’ve ever seen before.
I open our shared calendar app. "Next week is the last string of shows for me for a couple of weeks. I was thinking about going home for a little while, but it might also be weird if I don’t spend any of that time with my husband.
" My mouth puts the idea out there before my brain and heart can understand what exactly it is I’m doing.
I’m itching to get home and see everyone, to hold my niece while she’s still small enough to forget this ever happened.
But I also know that the second I go back, leaving them again will feel impossible.
"I’m off for a week, too. Maybe I could come."
"That wouldn’t be too much?" I ask before he can finish.
"We need to keep up appearances. If I went to your hometown to spend time with your family, people would be more inclined to believe us."
Yes, they would.
I change the subject before my heart gets confused, and feels something more than it’s already been feeling. He’s doing it to keep up appearances, and my traitorous heart needs to catch up. It’s beginning to feel a lot less fake and a lot more like I’d be happy if it weren’t.
I tell Avery about my day with Akira, how she planned everything from the disguises to the early access to the venue.
The picnic.
The conversation, and the flare up, to which he asks for the thousandth time if I’m alright, and I tell him yes, like I already did before.
I admitted I told her about my Multiple Sclerosis.
Then he asks, "Do I have something to be jealous of with you and Akira?"
And I feel my pulse in the back of my throat. I don’t know if I’ve ever admitted my sexuality out loud to anybody, because it’s my business and no one else’s. But going by the look on his face, I can tell he didn’t mean it in a negative way.
"Depends. Did you and I get married eight months ago, or one? Because if it were eight months ago, I’d tell you that she and I hooked up, but it isn’t going to happen again and that I’m sorry for sleeping with somebody else—sorry for breaking one of our vows.
But if we only got married one month ago, I’d tell you that you have nothing to worry about. "
He’s silent for too long, and I don’t like it. "Avery?" I say, keeping my voice calm.
"Sorry. Was just trying to picture it." He laughs, and my self-inflicted tension dissipates.
"Of course you were."