Chapter 38
Chapter thirty-eight
Olive
Writer’s block is something I’ve never really struggled with before.
On a typical day, I might get a text message from one of my sisters or have a conversation with a colleague, and an idea would spark.
I would open the voice recorder app on my phone, hum a melody and string together a few words. By the time the day was over, I’d have the bones I needed to finish it.
In saying that, I’ve written every song on the guitar my father gifted me for Christmas when I was fifteen.
My lucky guitar. I’ve never written a song without.
But I left it with him back home to keep it safe while I was gone.
And without it, the songs just…won’t come.
But you come up with a melody and lyrics first. You don’t need your guitar, my subconscious likes to remind me, as if I don’t already know that.
But the truth is, I’m not in the same headspace I used to be.
I don’t want to write about my MS. There’s nothing joyful in it. People connect with heartache and love—all of the things I haven’t really lived through. But maybe that distance makes it easier to imagine. Easier to write.
I could write about the MS.
But I don’t want that part of me to be public.
I don’t want it in a song. I don’t want it in the lyrics that will be sung back to me.
That part of me is private, and it’ll stay that way until I decide otherwise. If I ever do.
And it’s not like my sisters have anything exciting happening in their lives to write about at the moment.
Cassandra looks like she’s well and truly in her Adam Sandler era. Comfort over style, every day.
Jenna is so busy with work and just…happy.
And Lizzie? She’s probably given up on finding her knight in shining armor, hoping he just magically appears out of thin air.
So, yeah. No inspiration on that front.
My phone chimes beside me—a text from my manager in the group chat she set up between Avery, Orlando, and me.
"What now?" I mutter, picking up my phone to check a text I’ll probably forget about five minutes from now.
Strictly Business
Josie
Olive, clear your schedule on your break.
Orlando
I’ve already cleared Avery’s.
Avery
Do I dare ask why?
Josie
The two of you are presenting at the F&T awards in California.
Josie
Also, Olive? Pretty sure you know one of the nominees in your category... and another one earlier in the night. Jenna Rogers? Cole Green?
My groan is loud enough to echo through the entire hotel, I’m sure of it.
But instead of replying to the text, I do something I haven’t done in weeks.
I video call my sisters.
The Herring Girls group chat has been noticeably quiet since I got hitched. I know everyone has their own shit going on, but it doesn’t make the silence any less painful.
Lizzie answers first, the familiar backdrop of our apartment behind her, the TV casting light across the wall.
"Hey, Ol." She smiles, her freckles more visible without makeup. "I miss you. When are you coming home?"
"Soon, I hope. I wanted to come home for my break, and Avery was all for it. Said he wanted to meet Mom and Dad, keep up appearances and all that," I say, while we wait for the other two to join the call.
"I don’t think that would be a good idea," she admits, right as both Jenna and Cassandra appear on the screen, their hellos colliding mid-call.
"What wouldn’t be a good idea?" Cassandra asks, her voice raspy, eyes tired.
"Olive was just saying that Avery wants to come to Grangewood to meet Mom and Dad when she has a break from tour."
Cassandra’s eyebrows almost reach her hairline. "And why would he want to do something like that?" Disapproval is evident all over her face.
"To keep up appearances," Lizzie chimes in, and I nod. "But Mom doesn’t want to meet him, and Dad…" She trails off. "Dad just wants what’s best for you."
"And he doesn’t think a fake marriage is what’s best." I laugh at just how stupid it sounds. Of course it’s not. Nobody wants that for their kid.
"It’s not that, Olive. It’s Avery’s reputation," Cassandra says.
Those words put me on the defense of my husband immediately. I don’t know why he did what he did. Hell, I’m not even sure of what he actually did.
But I know one thing: The version of him the media’s running with is not the Avery Jones I know.
"His reputation?" My voice comes out louder than I meant it to. "Lizzie and Jenna met him. They saw the type of guy he is." I roll my eyes in disbelief that I even have to have this conversation.
"That’s true," Lizzie chimes in. "We did, and he really did seem like he cares for her, Cass."
Thank you, Lizzie.
"Or did he show you the version of himself he wanted you guys to see?" Cassandra’s face is cold and closed off now. "Come on, be logical. Mom and Dad don’t want to meet him, Olive, and you need to respect that."
I’m not mad at Cassandra. She’s living a whole new chapter, and I’ve missed most of it.
I’d already signed the contracts before she even knew she was pregnant—there wasn’t any way around it.
Still, it stings, being on the outside of it all.
And yet, the urge I have to hang up on her is almost overpowering.
"That isn’t why I called," I hiss through my teeth. "I’m presenting at the F and T awards. Jenna, you and Cole are nominated, right?" Jenna beams with an enthusiastic nod.
"We are! Cole is nominated for Best New Actor, and the salon is nominated for Best Hair and Makeup.
" Her cheeks stain with a rosy shade of pink, making her face all but glow with immense pride.
"Cole has the award in the bag, but we’re up against people that do all types of special effects and prosthetic makeup. "
"Jenna," Cassandra says with a warning in her tone.
"I’m not diminishing my success," Jenna retorts, holding her hands up to defend herself. "I’m just stating a fact. There are a lot better people in our category, and that’s totally okay!"
My phone vibrates in my hand, with 'Strictly Business' displayed in the banner on top of my screen. "I need to get going, but I’ll see you guys soon."
"Wait, before you go." Lizzie blurts out. The rest of us come to a halt, my finger hovering over the ‘end’ button. "The award show is next week, right?" she says, and Jenna nods.
"Maybe Avery can meet Mom and Dad the night after? Hold on," she says, leaning forward to grab her laptop. The screen lights up her face.
Her fingers tap away at the keyboard as Jenna says, "Lizzie, can’t you talk and type?" But Lizzie holds her finger up in response.
"Ah huh!" She cheers. "Okay, Avery has a game in California where the award show is taking place two days later. I assume he’ll be staying there." It isn’t a question, but I nod anyway to confirm for her. "And Olive. You have a couple weeks off tour, right? So you’ll probably be there with him?" I nod again. "I just feel like they need to meet him in a place that isn’t…home for them, you know? And if Avery can prove to Mom and Dad that he genuinely cares about you, I would almost guarantee that Mom will end up loving him by the time it’s all over. They’ll probably even want to come to the game. "
Cassandra puffs air into her cheeks, mulling it all over, finally agreeing to it with a shake of her head. "Okay, I like that idea. We’ll all be there, too. Nothing like a family ambush to get you to reveal who you truly are. Anyway, I’ve got a baby to feed."
"Love you, bye," we all say at the same time like always.
The words still echo in my head as I tap on a new message from Cassandra before opening the thread I can’t seem to avoid.
Cassandra Wingrove
Just looking out for you, Ol. I’m sorry if it seems bitchy. I promise when I meet him, I’ll be nothing but kind.
Thanks, Cass.
I hold my breath and open the flood of texts waiting for a response from me.
Strictly Business
Josie
Earth to Olive.
Avery
She might be taking a nap.
Josie
It’s 2pm
Orlando
What’s your point?
Avery
Prime nap time, if you ask me.
I’m awake and reading everything. But I figured I didn’t need to reply considering it’s already been decided for me. Can’t get out of it, can I?
Josie
Nope. First television appearance as husband and wife. Not a chance.
Just as I thought. Now I might actually take a nap.
I don’t.
I call Avery instead.
"I was wondering how long it would be before I heard from you." His laughter vibrates through the speaker, sending a warm rush through my chest.
Who knew I could enjoy the sound of someone’s laugh so much?
"Yeah, yeah. Don’t act like you know me," I mutter, sliding under the covers to warm up.
I put the TV on for background noise while he rummages around in his kitchen. "What are you wearing—When do you want to go to Grangewood Creek?" we say in unison.
It was me trying to be flirty, and him trying to get to know my family.
An effort that, looking back, probably wasn’t going to land the way I hoped.
He laughs. "Gray sweatpants and—"
"Say nothing else. Literally nothing. I’ve got all the ammo I need from that image alone." I moan into the phone, and somewhere on his end, the sound of clinking cutlery goes silent.
"Are you trying to have phone sex right now, Olive Herring? Because if you are, why are we not on a video call?"
I nibble my bottom lip, heat rushing from the tips of my toes to my cheeks, warmth pooling between my legs.
"I might be," I tell him, my breathing increasing as I dip my hand beneath the waistband of my underwear, sliding in between my lips.
"Please don’t turn that conversation into a video call. I’m begging you," a female voice shouts, and my hand movements pause. Her voice is so loud that it sounds like she’s the one I’m talking to, not Avery.
"Is that Noelle?"
"Yep. Fucking sisters," he seethes. "She surprised me by showing up earlier today, and I haven’t been able to get rid of her."
"I can hear you!" Noelle scolds, and he laughs on the other end.
"Looks like I need to handle this myself. I’ll speak to you later, Husband."
"Wait—" I hang up.
There is no way in Hell I was continuing that conversation knowing his sister was there.