Chapter 16 #2
I gaze across the console at Dean, my eyes fixed on his side profile.
He’s always the same in the best way. There’s something in him I can always count on.
I feel gutted knowing I won’t see much of him, if ever at all, after this.
I turn my body towards the window, so I’m forced to take my eyes off of him. I need to get used to not having this.
Unfamiliar trees turn into familiar ones as we approach their house on the hill.
In the daylight, I can see that it's painted cream color, with ivy growing up the side, even in the winter. There’s a distressed looking woman standing on the porch, who I guess must be Dean and Sierra’s mother, dressed in pajama pants and a cardigan.
“You told her?” Sierra asks. “Come on!”
“She was going to find out anyway. You have a broken arm. And the car? Come on,” Dean says. He parks the van in the now empty driveway, and opens the door for Sierra, who reluctantly hops out.
“Do you want me to stay in the car?” I ask.
“No. You’ll freeze. Come inside,” Dean says. I step out of the van, clutching my tote bag like it’s a life vest. Even though I’m not the one who should be nervous right now, I’m anxious to meet Dean’s mother.
“I can’t go up there. She’s going to scream at me.” Sierra stands behind the van, hiding from the wrath of her mother.
“No, she won’t. I told her I already yelled at you,” Dean reassures her.
I walk behind the two of them up the stairs of the porch to where Dean and Sierra’s mom is standing. She hugs Dean first, then Sierra.
“Hi,” She greets me with a hug as well. “I’m Laura. It’s nice to meet you.” She says in a quiet voice that’s very reminiscent of Dean’s way of speaking.
“I’m Madeline.” I introduce myself. “You have a very lovely home.”
“Please, come inside. All of you.” Laura says, and Dean holds the door open. Sierra goes in first, and I follow. Sierra goes straight into the kitchen and right up the stairs presumably to her bedroom.
“Should I take my shoes off?” I ask.
“Yes, please, make yourself at home.” Laura says, putting on slippers.
Dean directs me to the right of the foyer, where there’s a small living room illuminated by a wood pellet stove.
Nothing quite matches in this room, but it’s still very homey.
There’s a massive red, Persian style rug covering what seems to be original, pine hardwood floors.
I sit on an ancient plaid fabric sofa and take off my sneakers and coat.
I rest my coat on the arm of the sofa, and gaze around the room while Dean and Laura are whispering in the kitchen.
There are framed photos on every available wall space. Some of Sierra, some of Dean. There are several photos of them together, and it makes their age difference extra obvious, where Sierra is a toddler and Dean is a lanky pre-teen. Occasionally, there’s a photo of them with a small, fluffy dog.
My eye catches on one where it must be summertime. There’s a stubborn Dean pulling a very tiny Sierra in a little red wagon through the grass. He looks especially ornery and grumpy, even as a child, but still, he entertains his sunshiny sister.
I see his high school graduation photo, and he looks so young.
His much shorter haircut is almost jarring to look at.
Of course—he’s not smiling, that grump. I see what his pharmaceutical school graduation photo hanging must be right next to it.
He’s smiling in this one, wearing a white coat.
He looks indubitably proud of himself, and I’m proud of him in return. I see why his mom framed this photo.
Just under his graduation photo, is a much older photo. It’s a man holding a little baby, and for a minute, I wonder if it’s Dean. But the white outfit the baby is in makes me think it’s Sierra. I’m tempted to take it off the wall and inspect the back of the photo, but I’m interrupted by Laura.
“Here, have some tea.” She hands me a white mug with BEST MOM EVER printed on the front. I gingerly take the mug while she sets a plate of fudge cookies on the living room table.
“Where’s Dean?” I ask.
“On the phone with the towing company.” Laura answers, sitting down across from me in a well-worn recliner. “Always doing the most, that boy.”
I give a small laugh and take a cookie.
“Where are you from?” Laura asks.
“York Falls. Down by Portland,” I say.
“Ah, yes. In York Falls,” Laura recalls. “I haven’t been. How do you like it there?”
“I like it well enough. I’ve lived there the last six years or so.”
“And what do you do for work?”
“I’m a virtual assistant so I work from home.” I explain.
“So, you could work pretty much from anywhere?”
“Yes, I guess that’s true,” I say. I’ve never thought about leaving York Falls. That’s where my life with Andy was.
“If my job was like that, I’d be working by the beach.” Laura laughs.
“What do you do?” I ask her.
“I’m a kindergarten teacher,” She says. “As much as I’d like the beach, I can’t leave the kids here. I’ve lived here all my life.”
I give her a soft smile, she’s a pleasant woman. “Thank you for welcoming me. And for the tea.”
“How do you and Dean know each other?” Laura asks. “He wouldn’t tell me.”
“I’m a customer of his,” I say. “At Martell’s Pharmacy. Down in York Falls.”
“Ah, I see. He took that job because they offered a big bonus and he’s convinced he has to pay for Sierra’s school.” Laura remembers. “I wonder if he ever got it.”
“I’m not sure,” I say, knowing full well he’ll probably return the bonus.
“We miss him terribly, although it's only been a few months since he’s been gone.” Laura sips her tea.
“I have a feeling he might be back home more often.” I smile at her. My heart breaks for me, but it’s happy for Laura and Sierra. They clearly depend on him a lot. It must be a lot of pressure on him.
“I’m not sure. He really seems to like York Falls.”
“Who seems to really like York Falls?” Dean appears in the doorway of the living room, leaning on the doorframe, running a hand through his hair.
“You,” His mother says. “How did it go with the towing company?”
“They’re on their way. They’re going to drop it off at Ron’s Automotive.”
“Great. Will you be able to drive me to work and Sierra to school this week?” She asks. It’s not like they can call an Uber or taxi up here. “If you can’t, I’ll ask Eliza.”
“Yes, of course—Don’t ask Eliza. I have to go back down to York Falls and drop Madeline and the van off. My truck should be ready.”
“Thank you, dear. I’ll see you when you get back.” Laura leaves me on the sofa, and presses a kiss to Dean’s cheek before wandering off into the kitchen.
“You ready?” He asks me, not meeting my eyes.
“As I’ll ever be, I guess,” I take one last swig of my tea, and a cookie for the road; it’s at least a six hour drive back home and I don’t know if Dean is in the mood for stopping. Laura walks us out to the porch, and waves goodbye from the front door.
I take up my perch in the passenger seat, tote bag in my lap. I check to make sure I have everything, and sure enough, everything is where it should be. Postcards in their baggies. Pills in their bottles.
“Before we go, I have to make another phone call,” Dean tells me, hooking his phone up to the van’s Bluetooth.
“Um, okay, sure, whatever you need to do.” I wrestle with my seatbelt that’s caught in my coat. Dean’s phone rings over the van’s speaker.
“Hello?” A crackly, tired voice picks up. I don’t recognize whose voice it is at first even though I’ve probably heard it a million times. I listen to Dean greet him.
“Hi, Dr. Martell.” Dean says—it’s Craig.
“Did you get rid of her?”
“No,” Dean says.
“No? What do you mean?” Craig asks. “I thought you got rid of her.”
“Are you asking if I murdered her? I’m not a hit man. No, I didn’t kill her.”
Craig lets out a goofy laugh. “No, I’m not asking if you killed her. I’m just asking if you…got rid of her. Is she coming back tomorrow morning?”
“Yes, she’s coming back tomorrow morning.”
“You motherfucker,” Craig swears. “I hired you to do one thing. You can’t come in tomorrow morning still expecting to have your job—I’ll give you until Monday morning at 9am if you still want the bonus, but if she walks in at 2:30—”
“Craig, I quit,” Dean says into the phone. “I’m not coming back. Keep your money. Just let her in the store.”
“Ramsey, I can’t believe—” Dean hangs up the phone.
“Dean,” I say stubbornly. “Why did you just quit?”
“I’m moving back to Allagash.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yes,” He says, putting the car in reverse. Once we’re on Route 11, I can’t hold it in anymore.
“Why did you quit?” I ask.
“For my family.” Dean answers, his grip tightening on the wheel, his knuckles turning white. “They need me.”
“What about what you need, Dean?” I ask. “You’re always putting everyone else first. What do you want?” My statement seems to have hit him square in the chest, like a dagger through his ribs, straight to his heart.
“What my family needs is what I want.”
“You’re so stubborn! You’re really telling me you don’t want to stay in York Falls?” I ask. “You should start asking for what you want!”
“I—I do want to stay. But I can’t. I want you to be able to go to the pharmacy you like.”
“I don’t care about the pharmacy. I’ll find a new one.” I say, getting frustrated. All I care about is him.
“It’s not that simple, Madeline. My mom can’t take care of Sierra all on her own.”
“It is that simple! You quit, Sierra is about to be an adult, going off to college…You don’t even have a new job lined up!” I’m a shark, coming for blood.
“I was offered a job in Allagash.” Dean says flatly. “At the hospital.”
“What?” I ask.
“My classmate, Joseph, from pharmacy school works there. They said they’re desperately looking for pharmacists in the ER. There’s no sign on bonus, but it’s pretty damn good.”
“Oh.”
“It’s close to home. To Sierra and my mother.”
“I get it.” He’s made his choice, and it’s not me, as much as I want to convince him to change his mind.