14. Chapter 13
Chapter 13
James
S he’s so close to me, I can bloody smell her. The smell of French pastries floats up between us and I can only assume it’s her shampoo. God, is it distracting. I still can’t give her an answer as to why I showed up to those dates. And I’m not about to have that conversation with this drunk version of her, either.
“Who’s this then, James?” Willie comes up behind me, placing an arm around my shoulder, and I know he’s sending her his ‘signature’ smile and ‘fuck me’ eyes. He’s predictable and almost the same as me. He’s a surfer too, but he’s more on the competition circuit, so he’s not around as much.
When I texted him after my shift to see where he was, it didn’t take much to get him to come with me. This time I didn’t follow her, not that I followed her on these dates I was just—looking out for her… Yes, that makes sense. She’s Ella’s niece, I just wanted to make sure nothing happened to her. I’m a good guy, really.
I did know Maddie would be here, because when all else fails, at least I knew I could crash my best friend's night.
She smiles back at him and I’m sure if she didn’t have two bottles in her hands she’d be twirling her hair like a love sick school girl, it makes me want to be sick a little, but it’s not jealousy.
Willie’s not so up front with girls. One minute he’s here in Sydney, the next he’s in a different time zone and they don’t hear from him for months. At least I know how to tell girls they’re a one night fling from the start. They think they can change my mind, but I remind them over and over that I am not a relationship guy. And neither is Willie. Maybe he’s not the best guy around, but I’ve known him since I moved here and sometimes those friendships are hard to shake.
“Katherine,” she says to him, pretending I’m not here. “James’s work nemesis.”
He laughs—the bloody bastard. Still, I have to fight the sides of my mouth coming up in a smile from her comment. Nemesis. She’s so dramatic. It’s cute.
No, it’s not.
“So, this is the little red head you’ve been talking about, I can see why she’s got you so worked up, she’s hot,” he says, not at all lowering his voice. I feel my blood start to boil and my hands clench and unclench repeatedly trying not to want to throw him across the dance floor.
“He talks about me?”
“Oh, I can’t get him to shut up. Katherine this, Katherine that. ”
I need to put a stop to this weird exchange between them, he’s not flirty with her because—just, no. I’m not jealous, I just know that she won’t survive him.
I swear my life was not this complicated before I met her.
I don’t think about it, I just move. I take the two bottles out of her hands, handing them to Willie. “Take these over to the booth Maddie is at.” He doesn’t say anything, just gives me a shit eating grin and a knowing look. I don’t like it because that’s not what this is, I’m not jealous and I’m not making a move. I just need to talk to her.
Who you trying to convince?
“Nice to meet you, Katherine,” he says to her before heading down into the jaws of the dance floor .
When I take her hand in mine, the shocked and horrified look she gives me makes me feel something. But I don’t think about it too much. Scanning the room, I see a quiet corner near what looks like a storage room. Pulling her thought the bar is no mean feat, as she drags her steps the whole way.
“What do you want?” she asks, crossing her arms over her chest when we get the spot and it only makes my eyes draw to that area of her body. I came here to get away from the thought of her, the one that hasn’t left my mind since she walked out of the shop, and here she is, somehow looking even better. I take her in for a second now that we’re alone, her hair is more tousled, and her dress seems to be hugging her even more and her lips look swollen.
Oh, my god.
“For you to fucking leave. You’ve messing with my head.” I need to be mean, because if I’m meaner to her, maybe she’ll just stay away from me and I’ll have a chance to get over whatever the hell is happening to me.
“Wow.”
As I watch the moisture pool in her eyes, I try to keep the straightest face I can, but I didn’t mean to make her cry. Okay, maybe that was too far. She blinks it away quickly and turns her face away from me only for a second and when she’s looking at me again, it’s like I never said anything,
“You’re everywhere, this is my place, Katherine.” And I don’t just mean this bar, I mean… I don’t really know what I mean.
“You own the bar? Well, Christ, sorry, I’ll go grab my purse,” she snarls back at me.
No matter how beautiful she looks, my brain doesn’t stop from reminding me of everything. “Fuck off, you know that’s not what I meant. ”
A wicked smile pulls on to her face and once again I want to know how soft her lips are, what it would feel like to feel them on mine. Watching her dance the way she was, hips swaying and body moving to the beat only made me want to run my hands along her waist.
I need to stop.
“No, James, I’m clearly far too stupid to understand. But let me explain something to you.” Her face is as fiery as her words sound and this is the Katherine I’m used to, this is okay. “You. Do. Not. Own. Australia. You can’t stop me being here. I’ve dealt with far worse things than you. So, if you think you can scare me off, you’ll be sadly mistaken.” Her face drops.
Now, all I’m thinking about is what she went through. Who hurt her? She already thinks I’m a monster, so what does she classify as worse than me?
I think of what makes me hate her the most, and I pull at that, bringing that back to the front of my brain. Reminding me of all the pain and crying and drunk fights I’m far too familiar with. “You people just think you can walk it and ruin peoples lives.”
Her eyebrows pull together. “Ruin lives? This has literally nothing to do with you!”
“God, you are so insufferable!”
“Then leave me alone!”
“I don’t think that’s an option.”
“What?” she asks but the sound gets lost in my lips as I press mine to hers.
My body jumps into autopilot, and my brain is no longer in the driver's seat. I needed to do this, if just to get it out of my system. Maybe it’ll stop me having these weird feelings, I’ll learn that we have no physical chemistry and it can all stop. It’s a selfish thing to do to her but it’s one kiss, that’s all .
But as her hands find my hair, pulling me closer, I know that’s not the road we’re going down. My mouth moves over hers like I’ve been starved my whole life of this feeling. I’m not sure how to stop, how to pull away from her. I nip at her lower lip and she opens her mouth letting my tongue battle with hers, as if that’s something new for us. She tastes like whatever cocktail she’s been drinking, something sweet, and it suddenly becomes my favourite drink.
My hands are on her hips pushing her back until she hits the wall. But she doesn’t blink, just keeps kissing me like I’m the only guy in the room; I kinda wish I was. She pulls on my hair as our bodies melt into each other as mine pushes into her, a moan from me getting lost in her mouth when her stomach rubs on my cock through my jeans.
“Kat!” Maddie's voice breaks though the loud bass music that I’d almost forgotten was even playing and Katherine pulls away from me so quickly it’s like I’m on fire, and I just might very well be.
Every fibre of my body is on fire, like she’s lit something inside of me, and I don’t know how to put it out, but I want to feel it again and again. I just look down at her like I don’t know what on earth has happened to us. Our breathing is laboured and in sync, her eyes are heavy and lips are wet and I’d properly kiss her again if it wasn’t for Maddie's voice carrying over the music again.
“Kat!”
“I need to go,” she tells me, she looks confused and in a daze, I don’t blame her because I feel the same.
I don’t say anything, she just walks out of my grip, then she’s out of the shadows back into the light of the dance floor finding Maddie. I watch her until she’s back with our friend. I watch as she smiles at her and the other girls, telling them some lie I’m sure is more convincing than the truth. I watch as she looks around the room again looking for me, our eyes lock one more time and then I leave.
The fuck just happened and how do we pretend it never did?
The best way to pretend something never happened? Avoidance.
I’ve always found that’s the best way for both parties to have time to completely erase the moment from their minds and forget it ever happened. But when that moment happens to be the best kiss of your life, somehow it’s a little hard to just forget and that’s exactly what it was.
So what do I do now?
This doesn’t happen to me, I’ve never let it happen. It’s got to be a fluke because I don’t know what else to tell myself, it seems the most logical answer. The only way to test this theory would be to kiss again and that’s not happening! I’ve never been more sure of something than that, never again.
Back to the idea of avoidance: once again, it’s a great idea if I didn’t have to work with her and see her like every other day. Avoiding someone becomes a little tricky when you literally can’t avoid them.
I’m trying something new, being nice. Maybe if we can just be nice then we won’t fight and the weird feeling will stop. The logic is thin, I know, but when we fight, it’s like something clicks. That pure raw emotion of hating someone can make you feel something, can make you feel emotional.
Nice . It’s such a nothing emotion, it’s not strong and fiery enough to make me feel anything. I’m fuelled on impulsive moments and feelings, and nothing is as controlled as being nice.
That brings me to walking to the surf shop for the afternoon shift with a tray of coffee cups. I know the girls have all been working this morning since Ella needed Maddie in earlier to help with a new surf class she’s trying out, OAP surfing.
Coffee is something people who are being nice do, right? How have I forgotten what’s normal? I have friends. I know how to be nice to them, what to do when they’re sad or need someone. I know how to be nice.
But with Katherine, for some reason, I don’t know how to be nice; I don’t know what to do, what to say, and I know it’s because deep down my brain is wired to hate her and it’s hard to not do that, but god it shouldn’t be this hard.
I shouldn’t be rethinking everything.
They’re all standing around the till when I get to them looking at something on screen.
“Those are good numbers, Ella. I’ll do the class next week, see what happens,” Maddie says with a smile finally looking up and seeing me, her smile doesn’t change and I only hope that means Katherine hasn’t told her about the club. She’s probably just as confused or embarrassed as I am so I can only hope she won’t say anything.
“Coffee,” I say, handing Maddie her iced matcha and then Ella her americano with a dash of milk and then my hand hovers over the last cup. The other two have already started talking again, but Katherine, she’s just looking at me.
“I got you your favourite,” I say as I hand her the caramel latte with soy milk and slap myself mentally for saying it out loud. I could have just given it to her and not said anything, she could have thought I had just guessed. Remembering someone's coffee order doesn’t seem like that big a deal. It’s not like I haven’t heard her order it before, on those first two dates she went on they got coffee.
Okay, it sounds worse when I think about it like that.
All three of them snap their heads towards me .
Hey, Earth, I’d super appreciate a sink hole right where I’m standing, thanks.
Maddie and Ella share a look and I start wishing to be struck down by lighting as well as the sink hole. I’m never going to live this down.
But Katherine doesn’t say anything; she just takes the cup from my outstretched hand and then takes a sip. “Thanks,” is all I get before she’s walking off into the back room. I should be glad she didn’t make a big deal out of it, that she didn’t say too much or ask how I knew. I should be glad.
And yet, I’m not.