Chapter 32
MIA
From: EditorJen@
To: MiaMonroe@
Subject: Dating How Don’ts
Giiiiirrrrl, I don’t know if it’s the ouzo or this new dick you’re riding, but whatever (or whoever—snort) you’re doing, keep doing it.
Your Dating How Don’ts list is already a hit. It’s trending everywhere right now!
You are on FIRE, Mia Monroe.
Maybe it’s time we talk about a raise…
J
From: MiaMonroe@
To: EditorJen@
Subject: Re: Dating How Don’ts
Hahahaha. I’m not sure Swayze’s joystick had anything to do with it.
Maybe I’m just that good.
Or maybe I’ve been on so many shitty dates that at this point I could write a whole-ass bible of what not to do! LOL.
And… I’ll never say no to a raise. I need therapy sessions to help recover from my mom’s revelations on this trip, and that shit gets expensive!
M
Joy bubbles through my veins at Jen’s praise. I can’t believe I almost gave up this job I love so much, just because of some guy. Shooting a death glare at the white wall separating my room from the dickhead’s does nothing to him, but it makes me feel a little better. Take that, asshole.
Turning back to our room, I inadvertently catch sight of a freshly showered Swayze towel-drying his hair. Hiding behind my sunglasses, I surreptitiously watch him.
All. Of. Him.
Yep. Dick swinging like a pendulum—him.
Because we’ve apparently progressed to a new stage of cohabitation… the nude kind. But I guess once you’ve fucked on a public beach, not to mention watched and helped each other masturbate, there aren’t many secrets left. Never in my wildest dreams did I expect us to end up here.
“Enjoying the show, Angel?”
He drops his towel, bracing his hands on the doorway with a smirk.
Holy guacamole.
“Maaaaybe. You’re definitely a distraction.”
Chuckling, he shakes his head. “We can’t have that. The world needs my girl’s advice.”
He means it too. He’s mentioned a few historic articles while we’ve been here, so it’s apparent he’s been following me from the start. Unlike our bad neighbor, this guy would never ask anyone to give up something they love for anything, let alone for him.
God, he’s the one who’s been silently cheering me on this whole time and all I’ve done is put him through the ringer for the last year.
And let’s not forget the amount of crazy I’ve pulled him into on this trip alone, and he’s stepped up to all of it with a grin. I’m pretty sure I owe him an apology, but I don’t know how or what to apologize for right now.
While I’m lost in thought, he looks through the doors and winks at me.
Warmth blooms in my belly and I flash him a grateful smile.
He disappears back into the bathroom again, so I use the time wisely by logging into my Dr. Reality Check mailbox in a meek attempt to refocus on work instead of, you know, perving on my roommate.
Hi Mia,
I just read your Dating How Don’ts list and I wanted to say, I love you. You’re doing the Lord’s work.
Yours, Check Please
Hi Check Please,
Thank you so much!
I just try to keep it real. Ain’t no one got time for shitty dick or shitty dates.
And I’ve had plenty of both. LOL
Love, Lube, and
Hi Mia,
Just read your dating how don’ts list and it got me thinking. I’ve been with my guy for five years now and the closest we’ve been to a date is a McDonald’s drive-thru.
I just thought maybe that was normal?
Is it not?
We both work, so I don’t think it’s a money thing…
Love, Not Another Cheeseburger
Dear Not Another Cheeseburger,
Wow, okay. Given how long you’ve been together, I guess you’d know if he’s a creature of habit or if he’s just lazy, right?
Try talking to him first. Explain that while you like Micky D’s as much as the next girl, the Happy Meals just ain’t so happy anymore and you’d love to get dressed up and go somewhere special. Hell, even just different! Five Guys would be an upgrade!
See if he’s open to it and plan something to show him. He might just be a bit clueless. If after that he doesn’t get the hint or put a bit more effort into the relationship, well… you can always supersize his ass out the door.
Love, Lube, and
Hi Mia,
Hopelessly Devoted here. Not sure if you remember me, but I wrote you a few weeks ago about being in love with my best friend.
Just wanted to let you know, I did exactly what you said, and we’re going on our fourth date tonight!
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
HD
P.S. Making sure I memorize your dating how don’ts. No way I’m gonna fuck it up now I’ve got my dream girl.
Hi Hopefully Devoted (see what I did there?),
Hell yes! Of course I remember you, and I’m so pumped it all worked out!
Sometimes the perfect person is right under your nose and you don’t even know it…
Happy hump day.
Love, Lube, and
Closing the laptop and setting it alongside me, I stretch out my arms and catch myself grinning.
I’m glad it worked out for Hopelessly Devoted. He seemed like a nice guy. Maybe there are still a few left in the world.
“Hey, Angel. Thought you might want an iced coffee.” Swayze hands me the cup, bending to kiss my forehead before disappearing back inside.
Speaking of nice guys, there he is again.
When I take a sip of the coffee, I notice the hint of a bruise developing on my wrist from his cuffs. I caress the tender skin with the pad of my thumb and it immediately sends a shiver down my spine.
The memories from last night flash to the forefront of my mind in technicolor. It was… incredible, unforgettable. I’m not sure how else to describe it.
How does he know exactly what I need all the time?
Maybe I’m not as unique as I think I am.
Date one, you date them all… amiright?
Wrong.
Yeah, Swayze’s not like that. He might not date at home, but he’s the guy who puts effort into his friends and family.
He babysits his niece and actually plans things to do rather than sit her in front of the TV. He remembers my mom’s birthday and brings her flowers every year without being prompted. He’s literally been following my career without me even knowing.
Hell, I let him cuff me for fuck’s sake. I would’ve never let Pete anywhere near me with handcuffs. Although maybe I should’ve used them on him and left his dirty little dick trapped.
I know I’m safe with Swayze. Seen. I spent the last few months absolutely dreading this trip and now it’s almost over, I’m not sure I’m ready to go home.
When we go home, everything goes back to normal.
Although I guess he does want me to play the doting girlfriend at the firefighters’ fundraiser so we’ll have one last show.
A wave of sadness washes over me.
What happens after that? We go back to being roommates? Friends?
That’s all we’re technically supposed to be, right? Even though this feels like something else.
Last night felt… special. Ugh. That sounds cheesy. Not to mention ridiculous.
God, I need to get over myself. I’m making it sound like we made love or some shit. As if that’s even a thing.
He fucked me with a freakin’ dildo.
Sure, it was shaped like his dick.
Sure, neither of us could look away as I came.
But it was still assisted masturbation. Not some huge love declaration.
Do I want it to be?
I don’t know what I want anymore. I just wish I could read his mind. Did he think last night was special?
Who am I kidding?
He’s a cop. Handcuffs are probably just his MO.
“Hey, babe. Don’t forget, we need to head to the beach for Nick’s stupid games this afternoon.”
Swayze sprawls beside me, pulling me off the crazy train I was riding. It’s probably for the best. I need to not get in my head, especially when we have another full afternoon of being love’s young dream around our families—not to mention, Nick’s and Mario’s antics to deal with.
“Ohhh I remember. I wonder what his idea of beach games entails.”
“Knowing your brother, they’ll be ridiculous, given what he’s had us doing out here.” Swayze laughs before his gaze drops down to the faint bruise on my wrist. He tugs my hand onto his thigh, gently stroking the purple mark. “Fuck, I did this?”
His brow furrows in concern and I damn near melt into a puddle when he lifts it to his mouth and presses his lips to it in a soft kiss.
“S’okay Wolfie. I was a more than willing captive.” A satisfied rumble escapes from his chest when I curl up against him, resting the hand he just kissed over his heart. He tightens his arm around me, dropping a kiss on the top of my head.
“You’re so good at this, you know. How come you’ve never had a girlfriend?” I turn in his arms, leaning on his chest so I can meet his eyes. I don’t get how a guy can be this good at playing boyfriend without any real experience.
He silently studies my eyes for a minute, seemingly calculating a response. When he lifts a hand to run it through my hair, massaging the back of my head, I almost purr, my eyes falling closed, the question all but forgotten.
“There was never a right time, with the right girl,” he rumbles out quietly.
I reluctantly pull back to face him properly. “But there’s been so many girls. One of them could’ve been right.”
“Not for me, Angel.” He grins down at me ruefully.
“How’d you know?”
I don’t know why I’m pushing the topic. The idea of him with anyone else makes me want to vomit, but part of me also wants to know how an eternal bachelor can do this.
I was with Pete for most of my dating life and he wasn’t even a quarter of the boyfriend Swayze’s pretending to be.
This man should’ve been locked down years ago.
“I just do. The girl I commit to will be the one who knocks me on my ass the first second I meet her. The one who flips my world upside down, but I won’t care because it’s only ever right when I’m with her.”
Jealousy rears its head like a little green monster and I collapse back onto his chest, not wanting him to see my face fall. Part of me wishes that was me, even though it’s not entirely rational, given I also don’t want to commit to anyone again.
“She sounds like she’ll be pretty special,” is all I manage to say, trailing a finger up and down the veins of his forearm to solidly ignore the fact that I stupidly want to cry.