Chapter 32 #2
“She is,” he whispers, trailing his fingers through my hair again.
We lie there, silently staring out at the sea, when his voice vibrates his chest beneath me again.
“What about you, Angel? Why are you avoiding another relationship? I promise you not every guy is like that asshole.”
Swallowing hard, I push past my stock answer and offer a little honesty. I know he won’t believe my default line of wanting to sow my wild oats.
“The day I realized I was about to throw my entire life away for someone who couldn’t even commit to warming just my bed, I made a promise to myself.
I told myself I’d rebuild what he broke and that I’d never let anyone get close enough to destroy me again.
” I pause, sucking in a deep breath. “He didn’t want to love me, he wanted to control me, to turn me into a ghost who never questioned his authority.
I lost everything, not just my home. I lost myself.
My personality, my confidence, my opinions. My freakin’ dreams.”
Swiping angrily at a lone tear that escapes, I suck in a shuddering breath before continuing.
“We’d go for a meal and he’d order my food, and not in that cute, romantic, I know what she wants kinda way.
No, this was a she’ll have a salad so she doesn’t gain weight kinda way.
I couldn’t even curl up on the sofa with a bar of chocolate when I was PMSing, Swayze. Who does that?”
I push up to face him again, the tears flowing freely down my face now, my eyes locking with his wrecked expression.
“It took me walking in on them to finally wake up and see what I’d become.
Loving someone gives them that power. How can I be sure that anyone else wouldn’t start off amazing and turn into a monster like he did? ”
His hands cup my face, thumbs swiping away at the tears.
“I’m so sorry, baby. I hate that I never realized what you were going through and failed you. I’ve only ever wanted to protect you.”
“It’s not your fault, Swayze. I never let you see.
I didn’t let anyone see. Nick had no idea, and he’s my twin.
I got good at masking my reality when I was with everyone, but the truth is, the only time I was even remotely myself anymore was when I was around you guys.
So long as he wasn’t there too. I can’t do that again.
I won’t do it again. I won’t lose myself to a man when I’ve barely put myself back together as it is. ”
He lets out a pained sound and pulls me down to rest our heads together.
“You’re perfect, Mia Georgiou. Any man who even attempts to destroy that will have to go through me.”
His growled vow soothes me and I nuzzle into him. “I’m glad I’ve got you in my corner, Swayze Wolff.”
“Always, Angel. You’ll always have me where you want me.”
“Who knew Halloween would bring us here? Any regrets, Wolfie?” I blink up at him with a weak smile.
“About where we are now? No. About that night, yeah… I regret that you found out the way you did. I never should’ve left you out there thinking I was a stranger. I really am so fucking sorry, Mia.”
Pushing off his chest, I sit up, studying his crestfallen face. It’s obviously still eating him up inside.
“Don’t be, Swayze. I’m not. I’m glad it was you. Besides, without it, how would I have trapped you into being my fake boyfriend?”
“For the record, you didn’t need to blackmail me, Angel. I’d have done it for free.”
“That’s because you’re the best.” I grin before dropping a light kiss on his lips, trying to lighten the mood.
I jump up, tugging at his hands until he stands too.
“Race you to the other side.” I yank down his swim trunks then jump in the pool, ignoring his yell with a cackle.
“You’ll pay for that, brat.”
“Yia sas, step right up… as the only solo traveler in the group—womp, womp—I’m back as your host for the final couple competition. Today, we’ll crown the ultimate lovebirds. Welcome to the Holiday Cuffdown.”
Mario bows with a theatrical flourish, a huge smile on his face. I know he’s joking, but part of me wonders if he’s really okay being the only single person here. That would be my nightmare, although I guess I’d have just done everything with Mario.
But then Swayze would’ve also been here alone, and I don’t even want to think about him doing stupid shit handcuffed to someone else.
Realistically, I know Mario’s friend from the beach BBQ wouldn’t be here because these events are for family only, but just the idea of Swayze being handcuffed to her makes me a little stabby. I saw her check him out that night and she’s definitely invited to the wedding.
Ugh. Okay. Fine. It makes me a lot stabby.
What am I doing? Now is not the time to turn into a jealous shrew. Especially after we turned our morning around and just had friendly fun together in the pool. No funny business whatsoever—well, once he redressed himself, that is.
“Hello, you two. Orange furry handcuffs for our raunchy, saucy twosome.” Mario winks, pulling Swayze’s wrist to mine and snapping the cuffs around us both before moving to the toad.
“Oh, would you look at that? I’m out of furry ones. You two have the standard issue set, I’m afraid.”
I don’t miss Mario’s sly wink, and chuckle inwardly at his choice to fuck with my ex.
God, I love my family. Well, almost everyone anyway.