Chapter Fourteen
Nikki
I ended up sleeping in the office that night.
We were broken up. We weren’t even really dating, and I was destroyed.
I thought it would be better to stop pretending.
I just thought that would have meant we would be together for real.
I had a message on my phone from a realtor asking if I was still interested in a house I had toured.
Was I? Could I live in a house I had envisioned a family in even without the family? Should I just stay in my studio loft apartment? I couldn’t even go back there without the thought of her in my bed, on my kitchen floor. It was as if everything she touched turned into a memory.
I was brewing myself a coffee in the Lucky Lanes’ kitchen when Mike walked in.
“Ah, starting the morning early,” he said in that old man way. “You know, the early bird gets the worm, but the night owl gets the field mouse.” He laughed at his own joke. “Come sit with me, girl.”
I brought us each a cup of coffee and sat down, wondering if I looked as bad as I felt.
“So, I’ve heard some things, and I think you’re finally ready.”
“What kind of things?” I asked hesitantly.
Mike grinned, his whiskery stubble like sandpaper on his face. “Fern Diaz. She said you are looking at houses in town.”
I groaned. “You keeping tabs on me, old man?”
“You know, I lost my love. I’ve lived a very lonely life since then, and I never had kids.
I don’t think it’s any secret I think of you as the closest thing to a daughter I’ll ever have.
I just want to tell you I’m proud of ya.
” Mike was frowning at his mug. I was touched by this sentimental side of him, and I could see that he was getting choked up.
Mike was never this vulnerable, I guess we had that in common.
“Thank you,” I told him. I hoped the sincerity came through.
“Anyway,” Mike said gruffly, clearly trying to mold himself back into his usual grouchy self. “I think maybe I’ve been too hard on you. Adding all these loopholes. I’ve started talking to Gene about things.”
“Wait, you’re in therapy?”
Mike tapped his hand on the table. “When you get to my age,” he started, then shook his head and started over.
“After the war, there were a lot of folks who did the therapy thing. I just tried to forget it. Eh, I’m old now.
I can’t just pretend it never happened.” Then, he pointed a calloused arthritic finger at me.
“And, I want you to have a better life than I did. More than work, a community.”
“I have community,” I argued. “I volunteer with the Center all the time.”
Mike shook his head. “More than community, family. But, I shouldn’t hold you back professionally based on what Gene called ‘an arbitrary and irrelevant qualification.’ So, I guess what I’m saying is: I’m fitting to retire.
It’s past time to call it what it is. I’m old, and you do everything around here already. ”
“Wait—” My heart was pounding. “Are you saying I can buy Lucky Lanes?”
It was too good to be true, and my confusion grew as Mike shook his head no. “I’m giving it to you.”
Blood whooshed in my ears. I couldn’t have heard that right. “What do you mean?”
Mike gestured around the bowling alley. “This place had been my home for so long, but I won’t be around much longer. I need to get my affairs in order.”
“Mike, stop. Are you—” I had to work around a lump in my throat. ”Are you sick?”
“I’m old,” he spat. “When you get to the end of the line, there’s no telling what will take you out.
Best to be prepared. If there’s an accident or if my body decides it’s done carrying me on, then I don’t want this to be left unfinished.
Give me some peace of mind. Say you’ll take over Lucky Lanes.
I already know you’ll take care of her.”
There was so much to process. “Of course.”
“And, one more thing,” Mike said. “Buy the house. Make it a home. Take the girl you love and her daughter and be a family.”
I thought of the room I had mentally started designing for Dolly, the backyard, and then I thought of Maeda in a home filled with our love.
The home that existed in my dreams. I realized that future was the only thing I wanted more than Lucky Lanes.
How ironic, now that I had achieved what I had been working for all these years, how quickly I realized it was just a placeholder dream.
“I don’t want to chase her, Mike,” I admitted. “Maybe I’m being stubborn, but I want her to show me that she wants me too.”
Mike nodded. “If you are open and honest and you do what you can in your power, then you won’t have any regrets. But, she seems like a smart girl, she should figure it out.”
I wanted to believe him. I wanted to call her and tell her the news. She was the only person I wanted to call. She just wanted to be independent so bad. I didn’t think she wanted to be with me because it didn’t align with the goal she made for herself.
“Would you give her a chance to make it right?”
I huffed out a laugh, “Of course I would. I just want her to choose me, you know?”
Mike nodded. We sipped our coffee in silence for a minute. Then, he slapped his hand on his knee and announced, “Well, we better get the lawyers over here and handle the paperwork for the transfer.”
All I wanted to do was call Maeda. How would she react? Then, I remembered I couldn’t call her, and the ache in my heart soured this hard-won victory.