27. I’ve Got You
I’ve Got You
SAM
It took me only a few minutes to find Tommy. He was standing in a quiet part of the river walkway, not too far away from where the bus had dropped him off.
Relief cascaded over me in waves. I knew I’d find him, but some small part of me still feared the worst. Whatever that might be.
I slowed from my jog. My hip had started hurting just as I’d seen him. It didn’t usually hurt anymore thanks to the bi-weekly PT. But sprinting around everywhere without considering how I was moving hadn’t done me any favors.
“Hey,” I said.
Tommy jerked his head up. He’d been leaning on the railing, his hands gripping the metal handrail. Now he stood stiff, his arms at his side, flexing his fingers.
“Get lost, Sam.”
“Nah.”
He narrowed his eyes. “You think that’s funny?”
“No. Sorry. I’m still new at this. But I did mean what I said when I told you I wouldn’t leave you.”
“Man, fuck off. Nobody wants you around anyway.”
Okay, that one landed hard. But in my experience, responding to hurt with more hurt never led to anything good. Plus, I was the adult here.
“I don’t think that’s true,” I said calmly. “But you could be right. I’m wrong a lot.”
I’d been approaching him like a cornered animal—slow and calm. But now I guess I was too close, because he took a step back.
“Go. Away. I’m fucking warning you.”
The tougher he tried to get, the more obvious his pain became.
“I’m not going to leave. But I’ll stay over here. Give you a little space.”
Tommy gritted his teeth. Then he surprised me.
He jumped at me, windmilling his arms. I’m not sure what his plans were, but I saw as he came at me that his eyes were wet.
He’d been crying. I think he was still crying.
And when I caught him, pinning his arms against himself, disabling him so he couldn’t hurt me, I wanted to cry too.
Because I remembered what it was like to be fifteen and lost. I’d played it differently, surrounded by people and being the charmer, but I was the same as Tommy in not wanting anyone to see how much things hurt.
I spent my whole life acting like an open book, but never really letting people all the way in. I hadn’t wanted to. Not until Ellie.
“Let me… go!” Tommy yelled, struggling hard.
I angled his arm in such a way he couldn’t move without hurting himself. This was the gentlest hold I knew.
He still screamed at me.
“I’ll let you go when I know you’re not going to hurt me or yourself. Okay? Please, tell me you understand.”
“I’m not scared of you!”
“I’m not trying to scare you.”
For some reason, that was the thing that made him stop struggling. Maybe that was Ellie’s last boyfriend’s tactic. Scare him straight. Fucking dick.
For a moment, Tommy stood perfectly still. Tense, but unmoving.
“Can I let go?” I asked gently.
“Yes,” Tommy gritted out.
I released the hold.
Tommy jumped back, rubbing his arm and wrist. He stared at me, still glaring, still breathing hard. But he was assessing, too. Finally, he tucked his head down and started walking in the direction of home. I followed behind him, giving him a good amount of space.
When we reached the townhouse, Ellie stood up from where she’d been sitting on the stoop with Henry. Her cheeks were wet. “Hey,” she said as Tommy stormed up the steps.
He didn’t stop, just brushed right by her.
“Come on,” I said, taking Henry and tucking her under my arm.
She slumped against me. “I can’t—” her voice was choked.
“It’s okay, sweetheart, I’ve got you. Let’s get inside.”