Chapter 31
Luke
Harper is in bed before I have the chance to gauge her reaction to our almost kiss.
Having let Cassie’s words get the best of me, I went into the night hoping to at least have a conversation about our feelings.
Instead, Harper just wanted to talk about Cassie.
I don’t know if it’s because Harper feels awkward about the whole thing, or if she’s still using Cassie as a wedge between us, trying to remind me that we’re just friends, despite what Cassie and practically everyone else in our lives may think.
After I brush my teeth and change into sweats, I look out the window one more time, hoping the northern lights might make an appearance, but the sky is dark except for the stars.
I really wanted tonight to be the night.
I did everything in my power to make it as romantic as possible, and all I needed was for Mother Nature to cooperate and give me lights.
Even when that didn’t work out, I was willing to cross the boundary of friendship and “make a move,” like Cassie had so strongly encouraged me to do.
Well Cassie will be happy now. I made my move and turned myself into a fool.
Harper has to know. Between the text message that I told her was a joke and me literally almost kissing her, she must know I have feelings for her—feelings she rejected, no matter how kindly.
I crawl into bed. Harper’s lying beside me with covers drawn all the way up to her chin. Her back is to me, and she’s pressed up against the wall to give me as much space as possible.
She clearly doesn’t feel the same way I do.
It’s embarrassing, not for her—it’s just awkward for her—but for me.
How long have I been longing for this girl who clearly wants nothing to do with me romantically?
She felt so awkward about the whole thing that she even brought up the text message.
If I got her to believe my lie before, there’s no way she believes it now.
So what do we do now? Survive this trip, pretending that I don’t feel this way for her? And then when we’re home, do things go back to normal, or will she slowly slink away out of my life to spare my feelings?
I hate the thought of it. No matter how things end, it’s a lose-lose situation.
I lie down and pull myself to the side of the bed, giving Harper the space she’s asking for, even though I so desperately want to wrap my arms around her and never let go.