Chapter 12
ALEX
Is this goodbye?
Hannah has never been wishy-washy about us.
When she wants sex, she lets me know. In all this time, she’s never told me it’s over.
Her New Year’s article said as much. She was planning on stopping her meaningless one-night stands.
One year without men was her first step.
A way to detoxify before she searched for the right guy.
She’s finding her inner peace. But in between the lines, she talked about me.
It wasn’t clear, but I swear she practically called me her booty call.
Well, not necessarily me, but the guys she hooks up with from time to time.
How do I know it’s me? Her mouth says there are other guys, but there hasn’t been anyone since we met.
It’s in the question that we ask every time we’re together.
Are you sure no condom? Are you clean? Yes, you’re the last one I had sex with, but I got tested if you want to see the results. Still on the injection, so we’re safe.
There’s never been a guy in between. There’s never been another woman in between—Sam was the last woman I slept with before Hannah. My sister swears I’m sleeping around because I can’t tell her about my situation with her best friend. It breaks some rules. Plus, it makes no sense.
Who spends the night with a woman who hates his guts?
If this is it, the last time between us, I want to make it count. I kiss her furiously, and she does the same. We’re in the middle of a thunderstorm. She sparks as the electricity between us runs through our bodies.
I don’t want to miss anything about this night.
“Alex,” she says my name with a low tone, almost purring.
I pick her up and place her on top of the bed.
“What do you want?” I ask, my voice is so ragged, desperate. I can’t think straight. My mind is split between fucking her now or making this night unforgettable.
She places her hands on my face, our eyes meet. “It’s always complicated.”
“Just a girl and a boy,” I remind her. “No complications today. This weekend we signed a treaty.”
I bury my face in her neck and kiss her along her exposed skin. I bite her ear, rubbing my stubble against her skin, the way she likes it. The urge to unwrap her heightens, and as my hands begin to take off her shirt, she pulls my sweater up, and in record time, we’re both almost naked.
She only wears a purple lacy bralette and matching pair of panties. She’s the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen in my life. Looking at her, vulnerable yet open to me, is a sight I cherish. She’s not hiding anything, it’s just Hannah brightening the room.
There’s no darkness. Nothing twisty about her, other than her twisted mind wanting dirty sex.
I step closer to her and push her gently to the bed. Our gazes connect, her eyes are on fire. She glides her palms across my stubble. I know what she wants, my mouth on her. I’d love to give her what she’s desperate for.
Instead, I start with her beautiful breasts. Sucking on each hardened, pearly nipple through the lace makes her arch. Her fingers thread tightly through my hair as I suck on her breasts.
She pushes my head, trying to guide me without words down her gorgeous body.
“Babe, I’m in charge.”
She laughs. “Or so you like to think.”
I inch my way down her body, kissing every corner of her soft skin. Flicking my tongue across her flower tattoo.
She whimpers and moans. Her hips try to rise high, seeking release. She’s gone wild as I sip and lick, tasting her until she’s demanding release. I don’t give in yet. I scrape her skin with my teeth, trying to hold onto the waistband of her panties.
Inching them down, I create a trail with the pads of my fingers. Teasing her, making her want even more. I press my face into her core, while my hands finish taking off her panties. Once she’s bare, I push her knees open and place a kiss on her clit. She cries and quivers.
“Hold your legs open,” I order.
She does as I demand, allowing me to stare at her beautiful, glistening pussy. She’s so wet, I could slide my cock in and fuck her hard. I don’t. I dart my tongue, flicking it across her slit.
“Don’t close your legs, or I’ll have to use my hands to do it.”
“You’re torturing me.”
“You love it as much as I do.”
Using my fingers, I spread her open and lick across her slick folds as I push three fingers inside of her. My thumb rubs her sensitive back entrance.
She wails in pleasure. I devour her fast, the way she likes it. My fingers push inside her through both entrances. She rocks into me, wildly, begging for more, to make it deeper. I love how uninhibited she is when we’re together.
By now, I know exactly what she likes. The way she rides my face and my hands is heavenly. I could do this forever and be the happiest man alive.
When she comes in my mouth, I take my fingers out of her pussy and kiss it, drink her all.
“I need you,” she says, with the raspy, well-fucked voice I love to hear.
She’s about to turn around on all fours when I stop her. “No, I need to see you.”
Her eyes widen, and I know what she’s going to say—it’s too intimate. The only time she let me go missionary was our first time, and I fucked it all up. She still hasn’t forgiven me.
She draws a breath and bites her lip and says, “Just a girl and a boy for the weekend.”
“Trust me,” I beg her, wishing with my whole soul that I had trusted her our first night together.
That I hadn’t fucked it up.
Us up.
The way I did when I met her. Our ending would be so different. Perhaps, there wouldn’t be one.
She lowers herself on the bed, I nudge her legs open with my knee. “You know, this girl and boy shouldn’t go bare, what if they’ve been with someone before?”
“I haven’t been with anyone since the day after Thanksgiving,” I tell her. “You?”
“Same,” she answers.
And this is where I ask myself why the fuck can’t we be together?
Instead of overthinking, I wrap my hand around the base of my length and place the tip against the entrance of her pussy.
I push myself inside, inch by inch, easing into her, getting her used to me.
She’s so tiny, I’m so big, but we always fit.
As her heat greets me, pulling me deeper inside her, I shiver.
It’s home—the only place bliss and heaven coexist for me.
I push her hips down and start to move. She closes her eyes prompting me to say, “Please, not today. Don’t close yourself up.”
She locks her gaze to mine and whispers, “Only for today.”
Three fucking words that have so much meaning…she’s telling me she’ll give me everything, and then she’ll take it away.
I take what she offers me, even if it’s only for the night. Maybe after tonight, my luck will hold for the duration of the weekend. As I drive myself deeper inside her, she matches my rhythm. We fuse, and this time, it’s not just melting, but becoming one soul.
When I look into her eyes, I see her heart hidden inside the dark place where she hides it.
She’s scared to give it away. She’s burdened with layers of mistrust and fear.
I try not to think about why she hides, or discuss the possibilities of something more.
I try to keep myself from reaching into her and holding her heart the way I desperately want to.
I let it go and give myself over to the feeling of her, of the moment.
I bend and capture her mouth. It’s too painful to see what I can’t have.
We kiss rough, hard, and hopelessly. There’s no regret, but the feeling of loss, the knowledge that she’s that something I can’t ever fully have is nearly suffocating.
She’s unattainable and the most beautiful thing in the entire universe.
I drive harder and deeper until she’s withering under me. We moan, and I gasp as her walls squeeze my shaft, locking down until I reach my own orgasm with an explosion so strong, I’m jetted right out of this world and I almost touch the brightest star in the universe.
Her.