Chapter 24
Hannah,
Sorry about your aunt. I lost a friend to suicide. It’s hard to grieve because you feel like you could’ve done something. In my case, I was angry at his parents and doctors. He got hurt during practice, and the doctors hooked him with opioids.
He never recovered from the injury. His life revolved around pain killers. That’s why I avoided them after my accident. Once you’re hooked on that shit, it is hard to get out, so I ride the wave of pain when it comes. I do as much holistic stuff as I can to help me with it.
I like to live and find new challenges. Drugs stop you from doing what you love.
Glad to know I’m not your rebound guy.
It’d be difficult to pursue something serious with you if we had already fucked it up.
When you’re ready and open to the possibilities, I’ll be here.
Don’t find me a wife. June complained about her blind dates.
Do you have any successful matches? Only asking for reference, I don’t want your services.
Now, let’s pause.
Did you seriously quote me in your magazine?
I’m not sure if I like that you wrote an entire article based on my letter or insulted because I feel like you’re mocking me. Either way, I’m following June’s advice and getting myself some friends. According to you two, I might increase my chances of finding my happily ever after with one of them.
(Would you like to be my forever person?)
Let’s focus on you. If Davis were alive, I’d be taking care of the asshole. So, I take it the woman who died with him was his side dish?
If I could, I’d bring you cookies and candy to ride the wave of pain.
Alex
P.S. Draco and Bruno already bonded, let’s just keep him at home.
P.S. 2 Tess and her family are cool. They came by the other day. I feel like your family knows a lot more about me than you let me think. Are we going steady?
Alex,
The woman who died with him…we don’t talk about her. It’s like fight club. Let’s keep it that way, okay?
Alicia spun the news in so many ways. I’m sure she made a ton of money out of his death.
She gave interviews and told everyone how pathetic I was.
She confirmed my obsession with Davis. She swore the woman who died was his fiancée.
You’d be surprised how much trash the tabloids buy just to sell their magazines or online ads.
We stopped her as many times as we could, but she wouldn’t stop. After rehab, I moved to California. My sister was living in San Diego at the time. It seemed like a good place to reinvent myself.
I became obsessed with school and graduated early from college.
None of my matches worked, so maybe you’re better off without my help.
We’re not going steady, and no, I wasn’t mocking you. Your letter spoke to me—it’s a read-between-the lines analogy. You might not have written that, but that’s what I took out of it. I liked it because it was the first time I felt like maybe I could fall in love again. Before, I was closed to it.
Thank you for taking care of Draco and everything you’ve done for us.
Hannah
P.S. Are you still in pain? Can you tell me more about the accident?
P.S. 2 What do you mean you met my sister and her family?
P.S. 3 Sadie sends me fresh cookies.
Hannah,
Have I told you I’m the closest one to Dad? We’re good friends and talk about many things. The other day, after we spoke, I realized something. Love isn’t what everyone expects.
The thing about love…
Not every relationship lasts forever. Not every love is meant to be the one. Some love lasts a month, others a couple of years. Every relationship you have will stay with you in one way or another. They’ll remain in your heart, as lessons and as experiences.
First loves can wound you so deep you might think your heart won’t be able to function again. However, don’t write love off. I’m not sure how my last letter made you see that, but I’m glad you’re not closed off.
You seem like a person who likes to stand up after falling hard. Apply it to your romantic life as well. The next guy might know how to care for a sweet, quirky woman like you.
I had no idea we could send you food. Glad to know you’re not incommunicado. It’s just your stubbornness, not giving a shit that my hand is cramping because I’m writing you letters. (Don’t misunderstand, I’m enjoying it.)
Your sister was here a couple of weekends ago. She told me you TALK to her weekly—phone conversations. TEXT almost daily. You never told me your brother-in-law is Gage Rodin. He’s cool, and their kids are pretty awesome. They were in town for a music festival, and they came to check on Draco.
(I’m pretty sure they came to check on me.)
My accident was a shitshow. That night was supposed to be the best night of my life.
I was on my way to pick up Samantha. As usual, San Francisco was foggy as fuck and…
I remember everything happening in slow motion.
I remember slamming on the brakes when I saw not one, but two pairs of headlights coming at me.
The seat belt pulled me so hard, it felt like a steel band tightening against my chest.
I remember the sound of metal crashing against metal. The car scraping the pavement as it rolled several times.
The one thing I remember the most was knowing my life would never be the same again. There was no light, but my entire life played out before my eyes. That’s when I realized something was missing in my life.
Have you ever stopped to think if your life is what you wanted?
I knew everything I had was over. My future slipped away within seconds.
When I woke up from the surgery, I was angry and terrified.
My career was over. I had worked my entire life to be Alexander Spearman, and suddenly, I was the guy who might be in a wheelchair—paraplegic—for the rest of his life.
I have more screws and bolts in my body than a hardware store.
They fixed me the best way they could. Still, there’s pain.
The intensity depends on the weather, and yes, humidity is a factor.
There are a bunch of movements I can’t do as easily as a person with less metal than me.
You win some battles, but the scars remain, and the pain is there.
Pain is good, though. It reminds me that I can feel, and I can walk. Sometimes, pain reminds you that you’re still alive.
Why did the band break up? I liked Sinners of Seattle as much as I liked Killing Hades.
Talk to you soon,
Alex
P.S. Did I tell you I didn’t fanboy on your dad when I met him? My brothers and my parents envy me because I know Kaden Hades.