Chapter 37
ALEX
“Let me see if I understand. You’re dating June’s friend?” Jack asks, his eyes watching his phone.
“June’s going to kill you.” Jason smirks. “You don’t want to cross that little thing.”
“That’s not what I said,” I say, exasperated.
“He’s always been the slow one in the family,” Jason says and grins. “Stupid jock.”
I punch him in the arm. “Shut the fuck up. My grades were better than yours—always.”
“Is that even possible?” Jackson asks. “Go out with a woman without having sex? I had a hard time holding on when Em and I started dating.”
“It is fucking hard!” Jason confirms.
“Never doubt my potential,” I say, finishing my beer and asking for a second one.
“When was the last time you got laid?” Jason asks.
“What does that have to do with this?”
Jack clasps his hands loosely and glances at Jason. They shake their heads simultaneously and whistle.
“Told you,” Jason declares, as if he’s just won a bet.
“You’ve had a thing for her since June’s wedding,” Jack jumps in, before I can ask what the fuck they’re talking about. “We’ve been wondering what’s wrong with you for the past year.”
Try since I met her.
“Wrong?” I say without lying.
“Yeah, the whole life-changing decisions are weird. This is what we expected from you after the car accident, but it never happened.”
Jason grins. “What’s the game plan? Other than piss off June.”
“It’s like you two aren’t listening–of course, I like Hannah,” I confirm the obvious, because she’s brilliant, funny, sweet, sexy, and makes me feel like no one has before. “That doesn’t mean anything.”
What I don’t tell them is what has happened with Hannah since I met her. No one needs to learn about our past. It’s ours. Plus, it shouldn’t affect our future.
We’re turning the page. Starting a new chapter. I think she called this stage a clean slate.
Following her journey was inspiring. Making a few changes to my own life doesn’t mean anything.
I just discovered what I want. Learning from the lessons I refused to even acknowledge when I was younger.
Hannah’s methods of discovering how to both learn from your past, and grow as a person, is what brought me to this point in my life.
Taking charge, making new decisions for my business. Doing what feels right for my future.
“It’s possible,” I insist, trying to convince them—or myself.
“Keep telling yourself that, buddy,” Jack assures me with a condescending voice.
My brothers nod at each other. It seems that grilling time is over, and I'm grateful...for now. They’ll circle back at some point because that’s what these two do. Mostly Jack. He needs to know why his siblings are behaving out of character. He did it to June, too.
Wait a minute; this is just what we did a couple of years ago with Juniper. Okay, sometimes I don’t pay attention to my surroundings.
“Was this whole meeting a hoax?”
“Last year, you left in the middle of your birthday party,” Jack says. “Mom’s hoping to surprise you with a party this weekend. But she called me when June mentioned her friend is back. We had a feeling you were going to miss your own celebration.”
“He had a meeting,” Jason clarifies. “This guy’s efficiency is fucking scary.”
He’s right, Jack wouldn’t be wasting his time that easily.
“Mom’s busy with her grandchildren,” I state. “She won’t notice if I’m not around.”
Or so I hope. I’ll call Dad later tonight. He understands me.
“Actually, I’ll be happy to call her later today and let her know that I won’t see her until next week.”
“The baby is rebelling,” Jason mocks me.
“Fuck off,” I say agitatedly, running my hands through my hair.
Jack puts a hand on my shoulder. “Denial is the first step, just don’t do anything stupid while you’re pretending to help her. It can create irreversible damage.”
Damage? Irreversible?
He forgets everything I overcame, but I won’t play the almost paraplegic card again. It’s a scar I carry with me. A reminder that working hard pays off. Nothing is impossible. I’m not invincible, but I can defeat the odds.
“You know I’m right,” he continues with his big brother speech. “Our next point on the agenda is relocation. How much do you need to move the company to Colorado? I can invest or loan you the money.”
Frowning, I glance at Jason, who is my financial advisor. He shrugs. “Client confidentiality.”
“Jason, just confirm I don’t need his help—or June’s,” I say, exasperated.
“If it helps, I did tell them you don’t need financial help,” Jason says. “Twice.”
“You chose to live in Colorado, Jack. Don’t expect everyone to follow.”
Except, he does, because almost the entire family lives there.
My parents and two of our siblings now live close to him, just a few miles away from his house.
Jason moved because he was done with San Francisco.
June found Sterling. My parents are in love with their grandchildren—and June needs them desperately.
“You build snowboards,” Jack says, in such a petulant tone that I want to punch him. “Wouldn’t it be obvious to have this set in Colorado?”
He lifts his hands. “It’s not like I know anything about business.”
And fuck, how I hate when he talks about the shit I do as if it’s insignificant.
He can’t understand I’m a god to many. I’m one of the best fucking snowboarders in the world.
I hold world records. My products sell internationally.
Sometimes, it’s hard to keep up with the demand.
He doesn’t see that. He always belittles me.
“It’s more than a snowboard shop. We make surfboards, snow gear...” I stop because what’s the point. “You know what? I’m not defending my shit, think whatever the fuck you want to think.”
I slam my hand on the table. “Moving is about my employees, not you or my products.”
“When are you going to decide where you’re moving?” he asks, and I don’t know why he’s yelling at me.
“Dude, I got this under control. I’m taking my time to make the right decision,” I reply, trying to cool things down, because if I start a fight and he goes home with a black eye, Mom’s going to fly out to see me. “When I find it, I’ll know.”
“Would Hannah move if you do?”
I shrug, it’d be nice to be closer to her. With her cat and my dog being so close, it’s going to be a clusterfuck trying to separate them.
“It’s her,” Jackson concludes.
I grunt, not in the mood to get into an even more in-depth discussion. What happened to hanging out just for the sake of brotherhood?
The first time I saw Hannah, I thought she was breathtaking. Also, a pain in the ass. Things have changed since then. She’s not who I thought she was. She’s more beautiful on the inside. Which makes it harder not to kiss her.
Tonight, my attraction to her is different. Intense as usual, but different.
When I get home, I mean, her apartment, she’s curled into her reading couch with a purple blanket covering her. Bruno and Draco are on top of her.
“We need to change the lock combination,” she complains. “You can’t just be coming in and out of the apartment as if you own it.”
“Think of the children,” I remind her. “They have a schedule. If you can’t be here, I will.”
She scrunches her nose, and it’s so adorable I want to kiss it—her.
“Have you eaten dinner yet?”
“No,” she answers, lowering her tablet, and finally looking at me. “Are we going to function like a divorced couple battling for custody of the children?”
“That’s a strange question. Have I ever mentioned you’re weird?”
She rolls her eyes. “A time or two, and then I have to remind you, I’m not weird. You’re a jock, and I’m a nerd. Two different worlds.”
“No insults?” I ask with amusement.
“I refuse to fight in front of the children,” she responds and chuckles. “My parents were horrible to each other after their divorce. Tess says that during their marriage, they were never nice to each other. I don’t remember, I was too young.”
Squatting, I pick up Bruno, who is wagging his tail and just begging to be pet. “That’s not going to be us, I promise.”
She looks at me and smiles, and fuck, if I don’t feel like I’m close to nirvana.
“What do you want to do tonight?” I ask, because I’m so tired that I want to just veg on the couch with her—maybe make out with her.
“Tonight?” she repeats, confused.
“Remember your dating experiment?” I remind her.
She frowns. “Our first date?”
“Something like that,” I answer.
Her attention goes back to her tablet as she says, “We received a ton of suggestions from my readers.”
“Suggestions?” My eyes open wide, and I take a seat.
Fuck, I forgot her call of action.
“Volunteering, stargazing, go-carts, mini-golf.”
“We’re not sixteen,” I protest.
“Dinner at home.”
“That’s more like a second or third date when things might heat up.” I wiggle my eyebrows and grin at her.
“Is that even a thing? You have a limit of dates before you have sex?” she asks a little curious. “This is a new century.”
“It’s dating, not hooking up,” I remind her. “There’s no judging; everyone has the right to do whatever they want during their dates. May I remind you that you’re trying to change your MO.”
“True.” She continues reading. “How about going to wine country? A picnic? Dance lessons?”
The only thing I can think about is spending time with her, and all those options sound good. Do we really need an excuse to do something fun?
I only want to kiss her sassy mouth. Lick her lips and...why haven’t I had sex in more than a year?
Simple, because I gave myself to her. But what if it’s just an illusion and we’re not meant to be?
“Once you’re ready, I think I'm going to try this, too.”
She smiles and says, “Why wait? You can take me to wine country as many times as you need. Wine tasting is one of my favorite hobbies.”
Don’t I know it. Several times, I had to drive to Napa to pick her and June up after their big wine tasting tour.
“I meant, find my forever person,” I mumble.
She cocks an eyebrow. “You?” Her tone isn’t mocking, more like curious. “Really?”
When our gazes lock, two things become clear.
First, finding someone to be with forever sounds good, but it’s fucking scary.
Second, thinking about this person leads me to think of Hannah.
The one person who I want to spend the rest of my days and nights with is her.
In fact, for the past year, I’ve spent my nights reading everything she’s written. During the day, I missed her.
The third thing is mind fucking blowing.
The truth is, I need her to see me—us—as a possibility.
“You deserve to find love,” she says. “When you’re not an ass, you’re...”
She goes silent and studies me.
“Perfect?” I joke, trying to lighten the conversation, as I realize this is taking me into territory we shouldn’t explore, yet. I said just friends.
“Not quite perfect. Almost perfect,” she corrects me. “Which is good. The best relationships are built from deep connections, not shallow appearances.”
“Chinese proverb? Or, was it a cookie?”
“Sure.” She laughs and rolls her eyes. “Why don’t we order some food and watch a movie?”
“Our date?”
“We’ll pencil it for another day,” she proposes.