Chapter 15
Elijah
After finishing my shift that night, I went straight home, desperately wanting a shower. Stepping inside the condo reminded me of how lonely it was, coming home from work to an empty place.
The silence used to be welcome. Now it felt wrong.
I thought about Kennedy and how I hadn't felt an ounce of loneliness during my time with her and Jasper.
Being in nature had been refreshing, and having company I could wake up to and talk to whenever I wanted was something I hadn't realized I needed.
I appreciated Jasper for convincing me to come along with him.
He knew I needed it more than I realized at the time.
But it made me think. Before now, I didn't mind my space. I liked the silence after a noisy day at the hospital, and I liked sitting in peace, ready for the next day ahead. Everything was like clockwork, a routine I'd followed for years.
Safe and predictable.
All of a sudden, I wanted someone to fill this space. I wanted company. A woman. Kennedy, to be specific.
I'd had my fair share of women throughout life, some I'd dated for a while before we ended things.
Yet none had occupied my mind as much as Kennedy did.
She was a constant thought, and the memories of her were fuel to my lungs.
For the first time in my life, the thought of being in a serious relationship excited me.
Marriage. Kids. Sunday mornings with her in my bed. Things I'd filed away as "someday" suddenly felt like now.
It had been a few days since the cabin, and usually I'd have a woman to warm my bed, yet I had no appetite for anyone but Kennedy. She was the one I wanted to come home to, the only person I wanted to make love to, everything I never even knew I needed.
I stepped out of the shower, pulled on my boxers and a T-shirt, and dragged myself to the living room to finally check my phone after a long day.
I poured myself a glass of wine and browsed through my phone, pausing when I noticed the missed calls from Kennedy.
My heart picked up pace when I realized they were from hours ago. I couldn't help but think she had an emergency that I missed, so I called her back to see if she was alright.
The thought of something happening to her ate at me. I knew I wouldn't forgive myself if she tried to reach out to me about something important and I didn't answer.
What if she'd needed me? What if she was hurt, or scared, or alone?
"Shit," I muttered when the call went to voicemail.
I was about to redial when a knock came at my door. I glanced at the time and knew it had to be Jasper. When I went to the front door and pulled it open, I realized I was right.
"It's nine on a Monday. Is everything okay with you?" I asked, walking back to the kitchen and allowing him to close the door.
"More than okay. I figured you'd be home by now, so I decided to stop by." Jasper saw the wine sitting on the counter and helped himself to some.
"Help yourself," I said dryly.
"Thanks, I will." He grinned.
"I saw Kennedy today," he said as he took a sip.
I froze, staring at him with wide eyes. "You did? Is she okay? I saw that she tried to call me, but I missed the calls. I've been trying to call her back, but nothing."
"She tried to call you today?" Jasper asked, his brows furrowed.
I glanced at the phone. "Yeah, around midday. What is it?" I asked, more curious than ever.
"Nothing. Just..." He shook his head. "She just wanted to talk."
"Talk about what? Is she okay?" I pressed.
"She's fine—physically. She went to her dad's firm today, and I think the whole thing was just overwhelming for her."
"What happened at the firm?"
"Some senior partner being a creep. Held her hand too long, suggested lunch. The usual shit."
"Fuck. And I wasn't there."
"You were working, man. You couldn't have known."
"I'm glad she was able to talk to you," I said, meaning it.
Even if part of me wished it had been me. Even if I wanted to be the one she called first.
"Yeah," he said, scratching the back of his head. "I was in the city. It was a quick stop."
"Quick stop," I repeated. "Jasper, what aren't you telling me?"
I frowned when I realized Jasper's gaze couldn't quite meet mine.
"We had lunch. Talked. And then..."
"And then what?"
He took a big gulp of the wine and cleared his throat. "I asked her to be my girlfriend."
I froze, allowing the words to process, wondering if I'd heard right.
"What?"
Jasper sighed. "I swear, it wasn't some shady move. It was the first time I'd seen her or even talked to her since the cabin, and it was like something shifted inside me. Talking to her felt right. Being there with her felt natural."
I swallowed, knowing Kennedy had that effect on me too. I'd be a hypocrite to be angry at Jasper for feeling the things I felt.
But knowing that didn't make it easier. She was mine. Except she wasn't. Not really. Not yet.
"You couldn't have talked to me first?"
"Would it have changed anything?"
"I don't know. Maybe."
"You want her too, Elijah. Don't pretend you don't."
"Well, what did she say?" I asked.
"She said she'd think about it," he said. "She said she'd think about being with both of us."
My gaze snapped to his. "What?"
"You heard me."
"Both of us. As in... what? A relationship?"
"Yeah. A relationship. All three of us."
"Look, man, I know you want her as much as I do, and I know Kennedy likes you too."
I sighed heavily, shaking my head. "Jasper, man, you can't overwhelm her with shit like this. It's too soon."
Too soon for her. Or too soon for me to accept I'd have to share her?
"Is it?" Jasper argued. "Because I saw the fire in her eyes, and I knew she would have said yes if you were there with me. She wants this!"
"You saw fire in her eyes," I said flatly.
"Yeah. I did."
"Or maybe you saw what you wanted to see."
"She said yes to coming here this weekend, didn't she?"
"Do you?" I asked.
Because if Jasper was serious—actually serious—this wasn't just about sex anymore. This was real.
"Do I what?"
"Want a relationship. With her. With us. All of it."
He met my gaze. "I do," he said. Jasper was the type of guy who didn't take a lot of things seriously, but the look in his eyes now told me that he meant it. That every word of what he said was true.
And that scared me more than anything.
"Since when do you do relationships?"
"Since Kennedy."
"I really like her, man, and I'm willing to try having a relationship with her."
I ran my fingers through my hair and went to my fridge in search of something stronger. I pulled out a beer instead.
A relationship. With Kennedy. Both of us.
"I invited her over for the weekend, and she said yes."
My beer almost went down the wrong pipe.
"How are you making all these decisions without me?" I exclaimed.
"I figured it would be the perfect time for all three of us to talk. Plus, your days off this week are on Saturday and Sunday."
"So you just assumed I'd be on board?"
"Aren't you?"
I sighed heavily, shaking my head and taking another swig of beer.
Jasper scoffed. "You don't want to share her, do you? You wanted her all to yourself."
"It's not about that."
"Isn't it?"
"That's not true. My only intention is to make Kennedy happy, but I also don't want to rush into something she might regret in the future."
Or something I might regret. Watching her with Jasper. Knowing he gets pieces of her I want all to myself.
"She's an adult, Elijah. She can make her own decisions."
"I know that."
"Then let her make them."
"This isn't a marriage proposal, for Christ's sake, Elijah," Jasper exclaimed with a scoff.
"Of course not, but she's still figuring things out, especially with her family. I don't want her trying to use sex as an excuse to avoid her issues at home."
"It's a good fix," Jasper murmured.
I rolled my eyes. "You're insufferable."
He chuckled. "Will you think about it at least?"
"I'll talk to Kennedy first."
"When?"
"Tonight. I need to hear this from her."
Because this wasn't just about what Jasper wanted, or what I wanted. This was about what she needed.
"Fair enough."
Jasper took another sip of his wine. "Suit yourself."
"I will."
After Jasper left that night, I lay in bed with my phone on my chest, wondering if Kennedy was asleep, if it was too late to return her call.
Wondering what I'd say if she answered. If I could ask her outright: Do you want him too? Or just me?
I decided to give it a shot.
The phone rang, and I waited with bated breath for her to answer.
"Elijah," she answered softly, and my heart fluttered a little.
"Hey, did I wake you? You sound sleepy."
"I was slipping into a doze, but I'm glad you called."
"You are?"
"I've been thinking about you all day."
I smiled. "I'm sorry I missed your calls today. It was a crazy day at the hospital."
"I figured. It was stupid of me to call anyway."
"Don't ever think that. You can call me anytime you want. You don't need to feel bad for it."
I meant it. I wanted her to need me. To think of me first.
"Even in the middle of the night?"
"Especially then."
There was a short silence. "Are you okay?"
"I'm okay now that I'm hearing your voice."
"My day would've gone a lot better if I had heard your voice earlier."
"That bad?"
"Let's just say my dad's firm isn't what I thought it would be."
She giggled. "Maybe I'll make your night better then."
I smiled, pulling in a breath. "You already have. How's it going with the fam?"
"I think I'm gonna tell my dad I don't want to work for him."
"Yeah? How do you feel about that?"
She sighed lightly. "I hate the thought of disappointing him, but I want to be happy for me, and I want to do things on my own terms."
"That's great. You should. Everyone has their own path, Kennedy. Do what you know will make you happy."
"What if I don't know what that is yet?"
"Then you figure it out. One step at a time."
"Did you always know you wanted to become a doctor?" she asked.
"Er, well, when I was six I wanted to be Superman, so no."
She burst out laughing, and I couldn't help but chuckle hearing her laugh.
God, I loved that sound.
"Superman?"
"What can I say? I wanted to save people."
"And now you do."
"Now I do."
"But for the most part, yes. My granddad was a doctor who did incredible work. Both my parents were professors, but I didn't see myself going down that path. I wanted to heal people, save lives, and that has been the case for a very long time."
"I love law. I just fear I'll grow to hate it if I work with my dad. I don't want the scrutiny or the high expectations. I just want to do what I love without confinement or judgment."
"Then tell your dad. Parents who love you unconditionally will love you regardless of what you do."
"Do yours?"
"Do they what?"
"Love you unconditionally."
"They do. Even when they don't understand my choices."
There was a small silence.
"Do you think they'll love me once they learn I'm attracted to two guys who I'm considering getting in a relationship with?"
My pulse raced then. "One thing I've learned about people is that they'll come around."
She was really considering it. Both of us. This was actually happening.
"Eventually?"
"Eventually."
"What if they don't?"
"Then you build your own family. The people who accept you for who you are."
"You and Jasper always know the right thing to say."
I smiled. "Kennedy, you don't have to rush into anything if you don't want to. Jasper told me about the conversation you had."
"He did?"
"Yeah. He stopped by tonight."
"What did he say?"
"That he asked you to be his girlfriend. That you said you'd think about it."
"It wasn't that I was indecisive. I just wanted to know what you thought about it."
What I thought. She cared what I thought.
"What do you want me to say?"
"The truth. What do you want, Elijah?"
"I want you. I've made that clear from the beginning. I've never felt this way about anyone else before, and I want to make you happy. I don't care about whatever that happiness might entail."
"Even if it means sharing me with Jasper?"
"Even then."
"You're sure?"
"Are you?"
"I really like the two of you, and I'm more than willing to give this a try."
"That's all I need to hear," I smiled.