Chapter 41
I just nod. I can’t speak yet, not when emotion threatens to strangle me.
I swallow against the lump in my throat.
Relief pours through me that the baby is okay, but anger swiftly follows that relief.
That was too close. This shouldn't be happening. Kinsley and her unborn baby shouldn't be at risk; there shouldn't be homes being burned to the ground by guivres. This was too much. I feel more than see Rauk turn towards me. “Are you okay?” His low words confuse me. It’s Kinsley that’s sobbing in the room behind me. But I don’t think I can talk past the emotion clogging my throat, so I just nod again.
His intense eyes scan my face, missing nothing.
To my horror, tears threaten to fall, shocking me.
I blink fast. I don’t ever cry. I remind myself the baby’s okay; they didn’t lose the baby.
“Come on.” Rauk puts a pressure on my side, and I walk towards the door. I don’t know where we’re going, but if it gets me out of this house that feels like the walls are closing in, I’ll take it.
I feel the breeze on my face, but I don’t get to enjoy it before there’s a body in front of me. “What happened?” I look up into the unhappy face of Jorren.
“Move, Jorren,” I tell him in no uncertain terms.
“I don’t care that you’re her friend. If you hurt her—”
“I suggest you let her pass,” a voice says from right behind me.
Jorren looks at Rauk, and I can tell he knows who he is. He scoffs. “And I suppose you think you’re going to make me?”
Taren puts a hand on Jorren’s chest. “Back off.”
Taren looks at me. “Is she okay?”
I snap. “Why are you guys asking me? Whose job is it to guard your queen? Pretty sure that’s your job, and I’m pretty sure you guys shouldn’t be asking me if she’s okay.
You should be out there finding the enemy that did this to her.
” Jorren rises to his full height above me and steps forward, but I don’t step back.
“Yeah. You guys failed her, and you failed Kaldar.”
“Hey,” Reika says, joining us, her permanent scowl in place. “Maybe get all the facts before you start throwing blame around.”
“Oh, I’m not throwing it around. I know exactly where the blame lies.” I point to them. “In her protection team.”
Reika raises an arm, and I’m ready for it.
I’d like nothing more than to go at it with somebody right now.
But before she can come at me, an arm snakes out from behind me and grabs a hold of her hand, stopping her.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” Rauk says in voice that betrays exactly how he’s currently feeling.
His movement puts his chest right against my back, pinning me in between him and Reika.
“Everybody just cool down,” Taren says.
Rauk doesn’t let go of Reika’s arm, even though I can tell she’s trying to get free. She gives him a cold smirk. “Are you going to hit me? A woman?”
“If you hurt her, yes. I have no problem hitting you.”
Rauk’s answer reverberates through me because I’m pushed against his chest. I push on his arm, and he lets Reika’s arm drop.
“I’m not doing any more of this drama. Kinsley is fine.
She was getting checked to make sure the baby was still alive.
” I let that sink in and wait for the appropriate guilt to appear on Jorren’s and Taren’s faces.
Reika, not so much; but that doesn’t surprise me.
“Do better.” I stride away before any of them can say anything else.
I don’t wait for Rauk but continue walking along the wooden walkway over the water.
I hate being over the water like this; I’ll be happy when there’s solid ground beneath my feet again.
I breathe a sigh of relief when I step onto the sand.
“Where’s the fire?” Rauk asks from behind me.
“I don’t like being on the water,” I tell him without looking at him
Something flies overhead, and I instantly duck and search the sky for guivres. But it’s not a guivre that soars overhead. I watch as Redara and Noxlyn make their approach. I turn back to Rauk, who doesn’t look the least bit surprised. “Did you call them here?”
He glances down at me. “Yes.”
“Why?”
His eyes don’t leave my face. “Figured you needed to blow off some steam.” His words confuse me a moment, until a small smile tugs at the corner of his lips.
I realize again that instant that a full smile from Rauk would be devastating.
I look away from him, not liking the direction of my thoughts. “Want to hunt some guivres?”
I don’t hesitate a second. “Yes.”
He nods towards the dragons who are landing even as we speak. “Let’s go.”
We’re soaring through the sky minutes later, and I close my eyes a moment, trusting Redara.
She doesn’t say anything, but I know she can feel my distress.
We fly for a while over and around the Jaguar Kingdom.
My heart stops thundering in my chest, and my breathing starts to slow.
The emotions building in me begin to fade away, and I feel like I can regulate my emotions now and think more clearly.
When we go for a while without seeing a single guivre, I reach out to Red.
Is it just me, or is it weird we haven’t seen a single guivre after they’ve been so active?
Noxlyn’s bonded did take down a lot of them. But yes, stay alert.
I was already alert, but her words make me more so.
I look over to Rauk. “Anything?” I yell over the rushing wind.
He shakes his head, and I scan the skies again.
Eventually, Red and I follow Nox and Rauk back to the beach where we started.
I climb off Red quickly and land on my feet in the sand.
“Where are they all?” I ask Rauk when he lands in the sand next to me.
“I don’t know.”
“It’s weird, though. Right?” I ask, still scanning the sky.
“Do you feel better now?”
I turn to him in surprise. “Yeah. Thanks.”
He nods. I start towards the dreaded wooden walkway again before Rauk stops me.
“Harper, I need to get back.” I stop and turn back to look at him.
At first, I think he’s talking about heading back to the Wolf Kingdom, but then he clarifies.
“I can’t be gone any longer. My people need me; we need to regroup after the attack. ”
My mind flashes back to the attack, and I nod. “Oh. Yeah. You need to go.”
“I’m going to fly back to Rysden’s, grab Auri, and then make the trip back.” He doesn’t look pleased. There's something on his face, something I can’t quite get a read on.
I frown at his words. “Are you sure you want to take her back there? I can take care of her here.”
“She needs to be at home where she can be mobile, and Elowen can help take care of her. I’ll keep guards posted at all times.
They won’t get to her again.” His face is resolute.
Now that everyone in the kingdom knows about her; there’s no need to keep her a secret. So she’ll get the security she needs.
I don’t know what to say. “Okay. Good,” I manage to say. “Please give my love to her.”
It goes quiet between us, but I’m not really sure what else to say. I glance over my shoulder, back to where Kinsley and Kaldar’s house is. “I have to stay here.”
“I know; your friends need you.”
I stare up at him. A thousand thoughts fly through my mind, but nothing that seems like it’s the right thing to say. He starts to walk away. “Rauk,” I call out to him. He turns back, a question on his face. “Let the spirit dragons fight. End your war. Your people shouldn’t have to live in fear.”
He stares at me for a long moment before he turns away.
I want to call him back again, but I don’t.
Failure is the only thing I feel as I watch him walk away.
I was supposed to convince him to bring his army, and I failed.
The Jaguar Kingdom is going to fall. It’s no longer a matter of if, but when.
And I can’t do anything to stop it. He mounts Noxlyn and turns my way.
I can’t see the expression on his face from here if there is one.
He stares at me a moment longer, and then Noxlyn launches into the air.
I watch them until they’re out of sight, and I wonder if I’ll ever see the dragon king again.
There’s a sadness in my chest that I blame on everything Kinsley and Kaldar and the Jaguar Kingdom are going through.
It will be okay, Redara sends to me. I’m not so sure, but I don’t argue with her.
If that’s the hope she needs to hang on to, then I'll let her. I wonder absently if I’ll be able to keep Redara here.
My heart tugs, and I know I won’t do that to her.
I’ll have to let her go to her mate; it’s not fair for me to keep her here.
But I can’t let her go yet; not until we’ve done what we can in this war against the guivres.
I’m going to go hunt; call me back when you need me.
Okay. I will. I watch her soar into the air and marvel as always at her strength. There’s a heaviness in my heart as I start the walk back to Kinsley and Kaldar’s. I don’t get far when a thought hits me. Redara, what if they’re gathering?
What?
I think about it and become more convinced. They’ve been attacking non-stop, and they just went after the queen. What if they’re going to go for it now? Make an all-out onslaught in this kingdom? Even as I think the words, there’s a certainness in my chest.
I’m going to fly further and see what I can find, Redara sends me.
No, don’t. Fear for her floods my chest. If they really are gathering, and they see you, it will be too many of them.
It’s fine. I have long sight remember? I don’t need to get close. Besides, I’m faster. They have to shift into guivre form before they can fly.
Her words don’t give me much peace, but we also really need to know. If that is truly what is happening, then we need all the time we can get to prepare. Okay. Be safe.
Always.
I make the walk back to the house with a million thoughts flying through my mind. When I get back, I see it’s just Taren on guard. “Where’s Reika and Jorren?” I ask.
He turns to me. “I sent them to cool off.”
“That’s good,” I tell him. I raise my arms in defense when he levels a look at me.
“I went to cool off as well. Speaking of that, Redara and I took a flight. We didn’t see a single guivre.
” I turn to face him, Kaldar’s close friend.
“Taren, we didn’t see a single guivre, and that’s after we’ve been fighting dozens for the last few days. ”
He studies my face, and I can see his mind racing. “You think they’re planning something.”
I nod. “Yeah. What if they’re gathering to make a full-on attack? I think you need to tell Kaldar and prepare your people.”
“If that were true, we’d need evidence, Harper. I’m not going to cause wide-spread panic on a hunch.”
“I know,” I tell him. “I’ve got Redara out there looking right now.”
He eyes me warily. “By herself?”
“She can take care of herself,” I remind him, even as my own nerves continue to grow. “If we did find evidence that this could be happening, what would happen next?”
Taren stares at me, and I can practically see his mind whirring.
“If they really are gathering, we’d be dead in the water.
We’re not prepared against an all-out attack like that.
We have our jaguars, yes; but they have guivres.
Flying, fire-breathing guivres. Guivres versus jaguars?
Guivres win every time.” He motions to the trees.
”That entire area would go up in flames in just the first few minutes.
These houses behind me? All wood. Same thing.
We’d try to get people out and send as many underground as we can, but we’d be prey just sitting here.
It would be the death knell of our kingdom. ”
I take in his words, even as Redara’s words fill my mind. You were right.