Chapter 42
I stare at Taren as her confirmation reverberates through me. “Redara just confirmed.” Taren stares at me.
“Confirmed what?” Reika asks, joining us.
Even as I face them, Redara feeds me information. They’re gathering at the edge of the Southern end of the kingdom. There are a lot of them. Right now, they’re mostly in human form. I didn’t stay long, but they look like they’ve been there for a while. They have tents, fires, and more.
I face Taren and Reika. “We have to talk to Kaldar.” Taren mutters something under his breath but leads me right inside. Rysden and Kaldar are talking, but they stop when they see us enter. A quick glance shows that Farrah isn’t present. My best guess is that she’s in the room with Kinsley.
Kaldar wastes no time when he sees the looks on our faces. “What is it?”
Taren looks to me, and I tell them. “The guivres are gathering at the Southern end of your kingdom.”
Kaldar shows no outward reaction to my words. “How do you know?”
“When Rauk and I did a fly-around, we found absolutely no guivres, which is crazy after how many have been attacking. Redara did a search and found them.” I pause, looking between the two men. “She said there are a lot of them, and it looks like they’ve been there for a little while.”
Kaldar wastes no time. “Call a meeting,” he says to Taren. Taren nods and disappears, and Kaldar turns back to Rysden.
“We will go home and prepare our soldiers,” Rysden says, his face stern.
Kaldar studies him a moment. “What if nothing comes of it?”
“We won’t make a move until we get the command from you.” Rysden pauses. “But I don’t think nothing will come of it.”
Kaldar gives a short nod. “I know.”
Rysden glances down the hallway and then back to Kaldar. “Kinsley can stay in our home if you want. I would leave guards behind.”
For the first time, I see the stoicism in Kaldar crack, and I see the emotion on his face. “I would if I thought she would go, but I don’t know that she will.”
Rysden nods. “I get it. I’m going to try to keep Farrah behind, but—” he shakes his head. “It might be a lost cause.”
“Stubborn females,” Kaldar says, but there’s only affection in his voice. Both men suddenly turn to me.
“Present company excluded of course, right?” I offer.
They both shake their heads. “Pretty sure you’re the most stubborn of the three, Harper,” Rysden says.
“Where’s Rauk, by the way?” Kaldar asks. “I wanted to talk to him.”
They both wait for my reply, and I don’t want to be the one to say what needs to be said but there’s nobody else. I swallow. “He’s gone.”
Rysden scowls at me, but Kaldar frowns. “Where?”
Rysden watches me a moment and then says the words for me.
“Back to his kingdom,” he says, still watching me.
I nod, confirming it. I hate the feelings I’m feeling right now.
I feel abandoned, and I told myself I’d never let myself feel that again.
I hate myself for letting myself think anything would be different with him.
I didn’t even mean to think that; it just sort of happened.
“I’m sorry,” I tell them, my voice devoid of any emotion.
I take a deep breath that hurts like crazy in my ribs.
“He told me he wasn’t going to help in this war.
” I shake my head. “For what it’s worth, he does have some good reasons.
” For some reason, I can’t get my mouth to stop talking.
“He told me over and over again he wouldn’t help; I just thought—” I swallow hard, and my brain struggles to keep up. Stop talking!
There’s a cold look on Rysden’s face that I've seen before. He turns back to Kaldar, and I use that as my chance to escape. I walk over to Kinsley’s door and knock softly. I open it after I hear Kinsley’s voice. I force a smile to myself and step into the room. “How are the moms-to-be doing?”
“Man, that’s crazy to hear,” Farrah says wryly.
“How are you feeling, Kins?” I ask as I sit on the chair beside the bed.
She blows out a shaky breath. “So much better now.” She rubs her stomach with her hand. “I’m so relieved.”
“I can’t imagine,” Farrah says from where she sits on the bed next to Kinsley. “What happened, if you don’t mind us asking?”
Kinsley shakes her head. “No, it’s fine. I was walking to the main meeting room when I was grabbed by a couple of men.” A shudder runs through her. “I tried to fight back, but I was outnumbered. Then one of them shifted and picked me up.” Her breath shudders.
“You don’t have to relive it by telling us,” I tell her.
“No, I want to; I think it will help. It’s like not giving power to it, you know?
” I nod because I get that. “It started to leave the ground, but Veyra and Jespar showed up. The guivre ended up dropping me, which is how I got this.” She lifts the arm that’s in the sling.
“Honestly, I think I was more terrified for our jaguars than for myself. I was so worried the guivre would kill them with its fire, but it didn’t.
By then, Kaldar and his team showed up. They took down all but the one that had already shifted; he got away.
But,” she pauses and looks at both of us, the worry so evident in her eyes.
“What?” I ask.
“The fact that it was able to get to me and pick me up so easily when I was silent...”
It hits me I think at the same time it hits Farrrah. “They’re no longer blind,” Farrah says flatly, echoing my thoughts. I take that in and mull it over. “I guess it makes sense,” Farrah continues. “Part of the curse was their blindness, so if the curse is failing—”
“Then the blindness would be failing as well,” I continue. We all let that settle a moment.
“I’m so glad you’re okay,” Farrah says, putting her hand on Kinsley’s shoulder, trying to move past the bad news.
“Me too,” I echo Farrah’s sentiment.
“Aside from all that, how have you been feeling?”
“Nauseous,” Kinsley says with a small laugh. “What about you?”
“I think it’s just starting to get me, and it hits at weird times,” Farrah says in response.
I only partially listen; my mind is whirling with the news from Redara.
I honestly can’t believe it’s going to come to this.
We’ve been talking about a war coming with the guivres for over a year now, but it’s always been just that.
..a talk. Now that it’s actually coming, I don’t know what to do about it.
The image of Rauk flying away on Noxlyn comes to my mind, and my heart squeezes in my chest.
“Harper?”
I look up and realize the girls are both looking at me in concern. I force a smile. “I gotta say; I hope it’s not contagious. Getting pregnant?” I offer since they both look lost.
“What’s going on?” Kinsely asks.
I make sure my face holds no emotion whatsoever. “Nothing.”
“No, something is definitely going on,” Kinsely says and glances over at Farrah, who nods.
“Yeah, I saw it.”
“You saw what?” I ask, smirking.
“You looked dejected and sad,” Kinsley answers.
Farrah nods. “Yeah, I saw that too.”
“It’s nothing,” I tell them.
“I really don’t believe you,” Kinsley says, leaning forward. “Did somebody say or do something to hurt your feelings?”
I laugh. “No. My feelings are impossible to hurt.”
But Farrah calls out, “It was me, wasn’t it?”
Kinsley turns to look at her. “What did you do to Harper?”
Farrah gives me a guilty look. “I was a jerk. I'm so sorry, Harper. There is no excuse; I know I’ve been a—”
“It’s fine,” I cut her off before she can call herself a jerk again.
“What did you do?” Kinsley asks in confusion.
Farrah sighs deeply. “My emotions have been all over the place, and I’m driving even myself crazy, not that that’s any excuse,” she says, looking over at me.
“What did you do to Harper?” Kinsely asks again.
“She didn’t do anything,” I start.
“I got mad at her for getting hurt,” Farrah says. Kinsley looks between the two of us, and Farrah sighs. “She kept going out on her own to fight the guivres, and it made me crazy.” She looks over at me. “Makes me crazy.”
“Glad to see you’re over it,” I tell her with a smirk.
“Why are you out fighting guivres alone?” Kinsley asks. “That’s incredibly dangerous.”
“And stupid,” Farrah adds. Kinsley turns to look at her. “What? It is,” Farrah defends herself.
“Did you lose control of your filter when you became pregnant?” Kinsley asks.
Farrah’s eyes widen. “Oh man. Maybe I did. I've been saying a lot of stuff lately. Ugh.” She looks over at me. “I’m sorry.”
“You already apologized. Besides, we have bigger issues than you not having a filter on your mouth.” I instantly regret the words as soon as they leave my mouth. Both girls zero in on me.
“What issues?” Farrah asks.
“Yeah. Spill,” Kinsley says.
“Like all of the issues we’re currently dealing with. Guivres?” I remind them.
“No, that’s not it,” Farrah argues.
“Yeah, you were really thinking hard about something,” Kinsley says as she squints her eyes at me, like she can see inside my mind.
“Did something happen with Rauk?” Farrah asks.
That comment hits its mark. “Why would you say that?” I ask.
Farrah and Kinsley stare at me a moment and then look at each other. “Something totally happened with Rauk,” Farrah says, and Kinsely agrees.
I start to argue, but Farrah puts her hand up. “You’re talking to two females who are happily mated, but it doesn’t mean we don’t get frustrated as we learn to navigate these new roles. What did he do?”
Kinsley turns big eyes on me. “You can tell us, Harper. We have to be there for each other.”
And just like that, it spills out. “He left.”
They both blink. “What?” Farrah asks.
I glance away, staring at the door and keep a tight hold on my emotions. “He went back to his kingdom.”
It’s deathly silent in the room, and I almost regret it. “He’s not going to help,” Farrah says. It’s not a question, and I don’t treat it as one.
“What about your bond?” Kinsley asks, her voice full of emotion.
I scoff. “Was there ever a doubt in your minds? I mean you’ve met the man.” I wait a minute. “Okay, and you’ve met me too.”
“But I thought there was something there, between the two of you,” Farrah says. “I watched with my own eyes.”
“There’s not. Or if there was, it’s not enough to make him stay and help.” The words taste like ash coming from my mouth, but they’re the truth. He left, and we’re on our own in this war.
“I’m sorry, Harper,” Kinsley says softly. When Farrah echoes it, I stand up.
“It’s fine.”
“It’s not fine,” Farrah says.
There's a knock at the door, and I’m so relieved. I practically run towards the door to open it. Rysden gives me a weird look when I jerk the door open, but then his eyes find his mate’s. “Hey, we need to get going.”
She takes one look at his face and straightens. “What happened?”
He glances at me. “You didn’t tell them?”
“Tell us what?” Farrah demands, standing from the bed and walking over to join us.
“Wait for me,” Kinsley says, scrambling off the bed as well.
“Are you supposed to be out of bed?” I ask.
She just scowls at me and joins our group. Rysden looks to me, and I sigh. “Rauk and I went out in search of guivres.”
“See?” Farrah says, pointing at me. Then she grimaces and drops her hand. “Sorry. Go ahead.”
“We couldn’t find any,” I continue. “But Red went on her own to investigate.” I don’t waste any time delivering the bad news. “They’re gathering...outside the Southern end of the kingdom. It looks like they’ve been there a little while, if the tents are anything to go by.”
Neither girl looks incredibly surprised. “What’s the plan?” Farrah asks Rysden.
His face is grim when he answers. “We go back home and prepare our soldiers for war.”