Chapter 51
They’re both staring at me, wide-eyed. “What?”
Kinsley shakes her head. “I just—”
“He actually listens to you,” Farrah inserts.
“Yeah. We haven’t been able to get him to listen to anything from anybody,” Kinsley explains.
I shrug. “I guess I’m special. Actually, he’s more worried that I’ll stab him while he sleeps.”
“What is that smell?” Farrah asks suddenly, drawing my attention to her. I notice just how pale she is.
“It’s not me; I just took a bath,” I tell her.
“No, it’s,” she pauses and turns around, sniffing. When she sniffs the plate I was just eating, she throws a hand over her mouth. “That’s it.” At least that’s what I think she says before she turns and runs for the bathroom.
I turn my gaze to Kinsley. “She’s okay,” she says. “She just does that...a lot.”
I think my stomach drops in empathy. “Mental note: never ever get pregnant. All right. What did I miss while I was out?”
“Well, besides Farrah doing that, like nonstop, let’s see.
The members of the Dragon Kingdom and Wolf Kingdom all left, so that’s helped things calm down.
And,” she puts a finger on her chin and taps it.
“Let me see what else? Oh yeah. Your mate has been raging war on everything and anything that gets in his path.” She stares at me accusingly.
“Is that supposed to be my fault somehow, because I can assure you it’s not. I’ve been peacefully sleeping.”
She stares down at me. “He’s been tracking down any remaining guivres and ending them.” She wrinkles her nose. “And not gently.”
“You wanted him to kill them gently?” I ask dryly.
“Well, no, but you get what I’m saying.”
“I do. You're saying that your people have Rauk and Noxlyn to thank for ridding your kingdom of all remaining guivres. I’d say that’s pretty good.”
The door to the bathroom opens, and Farrah walks out, looking just as sick as she did when she left. “What did I miss?”
I eye her warily. “Should you be lying down?”
She groans. “No. I’ll be fine.”
I grimace. “Shouldn’t you just be sick in the morning?”
She and Kinsley both laugh hysterically, and I’m sort of clueless. “Okay. Hey, while you’re both here, I have a question.” There’s a knock at the door, and I scowl. “Never mind. Come in, Rauk.”
As soon as he enters the room, both my friends make a mad dash for the door. “Bye, Harper.”
I turn my gaze to Rauk. “Why do my friends run at the sight of you?”
He crosses his arms over his massive chest. “Better question is why don’t you?”
I snort. “You’re full of it.” He shakes his head, dropping his arms. “I heard you’ve been guivre hunting.”
“Just making sure none of them escape.”
“You’ve certainly changed. I thought you didn’t care what happened to the other kingdoms,” I challenge.
“I don’t,” he says, and I shake my head.
“You’re so full of it, Rauk. You do; otherwise, you never would have come. You certainly wouldn’t have brought your soldiers and their spirit dragons. And you most definitely wouldn’t be hanging out here tracking down any remaining guivres.”
“There’s only one reason I’ve done any of that.”
I wait for him to say more. When he doesn’t, I lift an eyebrow. “I really thought you were going somewhere with that. I guess you’re not going to tell me what the reason is.”
He studies my face, and I try to figure out what he’s thinking. “Let me know when you figure it out.”
I throw my hands up in frustration. “Rauk, you’re so infuriating.”
He smirks. “And you’re so easy to get along with.”
“I may not be, but at least I don’t talk in circles.”
“Neither do I.” Then he changes topics suddenly. “I’m leaving. I have to get back.”
Not wanting to deal with the conversation that’s coming, I add, “This conversation feels so familiar, like we just had a similar one. Oh wait, we totally did.”
“Are you coming with?” he asks.
Redara?
I know she’s been listening in, so I’m not surprised when she answers right away. I will go with whatever decision you make.
What about you and Noxlyn?
We can meet up any time we want to.
I take a breath. “No.” I let my answer settle between us. I want to say more, but at the end of the day, that’s my answer. “I know our dragons are mates, and it’s not my goal to keep them apart. Maybe we can work out something where we meet up once a week or something.”
He keeps that dark gaze on me, and I wait for him to respond. “If that's what you want.”
“It is.”
He nods and takes a step back. “Goodbye, Harper.”
“Goodbye, Rauk.”
He turns around and is at the door in two strides. “If you change your mind, your room will be ready for you.” He doesn’t look back at me as he says the words, and he leaves a moment later.
I stare at the closed door after he leaves, unsure what to think or feel. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, I don’t have long to sit by myself and think. Not even twenty minutes later, somebody knocks on my door. “Harper?” Kinsley calls out. “Can we come in?”
“Sure.” I sit back down on the bed after some mild stretches and movement with my knee.
“What was your question?” Kinsley asks.
“What?” I ask in confusion.
“You had a question for us,” Farrah reminds me.
“Oh. It doesn’t matter anymore. I answered it.”
“Well, what was it?” Kinsley asks.
“I wanted to know if you thought I should go back to the Dragon Kingdom with Rauk or not? But I already decided.”
“And?” Farrah pushes.
“Rauk left.”
The room goes silent for all of about thirty seconds. “You sent Rauk back without you?” Kinsley asks, eyes wide.
“Are you going to join him in a few days?” Farrah asks.
“Yeah, once your knee heals up?” Kinsley throws in.
“I wasn’t planning on it,” I return.
“You’re staying...here?” Kinsley asks.
“Well, not here, here. I will see if my old space is still available—the second floor above Eliza’s. Is that okay?” I ask Farrah. “For me to stay in the Wolf Kingdom?”
She waves me off. “Of course, but,” she pauses. “Are you sure that’s what you want?”
“Yes.” They both give me varying looks of concern, but I don’t let it bother me. “I’m not like you two. I didn’t meet the guy I’m supposedly mated to and fall madly in love.” I shrug. “That’s just not me.” I don’t miss the look Farrah and Kinsley give each other. “What?”
“It’s just,” Kinsley starts.
“She doesn’t see it,” Farrah interrupts.
Kinsley turns to her. “So shouldn't we—”
“She has to figure it out on her own,” Farrah finishes.
I blink. “I didn’t catch any of that.”
“You weren’t supposed to,” Farrah says. “Now, let’s get your stuff because I want to go home.”
_____________
Three days. It only takes me three days to realize I made the wrong decision.
Redara certainly isn’t helping things; she’s been pining after Noxlyn nonstop.
I keep reminding her that she said she’d be fine.
But it’s not just her. I don’t fit in here, in the Wolf Kingdom, anymore.
Me and my massive dragon don’t have a place here.
That’s because our place is in the Dragon Kingdom, Redara reminds me.
So, you’ve told me for the last three days. But it’s not just Redara that doesn’t fit; I don’t either. I can’t believe how much I miss Auri and Elowen.
And Noxlyn’s bonded, Redara adds.
I don’t respond, not because it’s not true, but because it scares me.
I throw my head back against the wall and groan.
“I’m going crazy!” I want out. I want to ride Redara; I want to be free to walk around, to do what I want to do.
But I can’t do much while I’m not allowed to put any weight on my leg.
Hector warned me that I could do some serious damage if I don’t let it heal.
So, I’m stuck doing next to nothing for six weeks.
Six weeks! I’m going to lose my mind, Red.
You sure there was much there to begin with?
Ha. Ha. You're so funny.
Somehow, by some miracle, I make it to the end of the first week.
Farrah and I celebrate by throwing knives in the basement.
My idea, not hers. It took me nearly a day to recover from that trip.
At the end of week two, she made me a cake.
I’m still not really sure why, but she said it was a “making it through two weeks cake.” Kinsley came to visit for the conclusion of week three.
She and Farrah spent the entire time telling me they were sure I was in love with Rauk.
Week four came and went without much fanfare, and week five was spent mostly by myself because Farrah and Rysden had to attend a dinner of some sort in the Jaguar Kingdom.
By the end of week six, I’m ready to chop my leg off myself if it will help me to be able to get back to regular life.
As soon as the last day of week six arrives, I’m out of bed early.
I take off my leg wrap and step on my leg gingerly.
It’s achy and weak, but it holds my weight.
I lift my head and close my eyes. “Finally!” I grab the bag I’ve had packed for weeks and walk right out my door and down the stairs.
It takes me a little bit, but I feel like my leg gets stronger with every step.
“Harper!”
“You’re walking!”
I turn to Kinlsey and Farrah with a scowl. “You make it sound like I’m two. And what are you doing here, Kinsley?”
She laughs. “How does it feel?”
“So good. Again, why are you here?”
She smiles. “I wanted to see you before you took off.”
I frown. “How did you know I would be leaving?”
Farrrah and Kinsley look at each other and smile. “We just did,” Farrah says. “We figured you’d go back as soon as your leg was healed.”
Kinsley’s smile fades. “So, you’re going back to the Dragon Kingdom?”
“I am.” Indecision hits me, and I pause. “Do you think—” I pause and throw back my shoulders. “Never mind.”
“No way; you’re not getting out of this one,” Farrah says. “What were you going to ask?”
“I don’t want to be one of those indecisive females.”
Farrah and Kinsley both laugh. “Harper, you don’t have an indecisive bone in your body.
Nobody would accuse you of that. Just ask what you want to ask,” Farrah urges.
I want to, but the words won’t form. “Okay. I’ll ask for you,” Farrah continues.
“You want to know if you should go back? If I think Rauk will want you there.” I don’t show anything on my face, but she nailed it.
“The answer is yes, you should go back. You’re not happy here, Harper,” she says with a sad expression.
“Honestly, the most alive I’ve seen you is when he’s around. ”
I snort. “That’s because we’re always fighting.”
Farrah smiles softly. “You guys may call it fighting; the rest of the world calls it flirting.” I balk at her words. “I know you don’t see it, Harper, but you’re good for him. And,” she pauses and waits for my eyes to meet hers. “He’s good for you.”
I scoff. “He’s arrogant and demanding.”
“He is,” she agrees. “But he’s also protective and safe.” That word does something to me. I bite my tongue.
“Safe?” I can’t help but ask.
“Yeah.” She smiles again, that soft smile.
Kinsley steps over to me and puts her hand on my arm. “I think maybe for the first time, you found your safe place, Harper. Only, it’s not a place; it’s a person.” There are tears in her eyes, and I blink and then blink again. “Just like I found my safe place with Kaldar,” she adds.
I don’t say anything; I can’t. There’s a lump in my throat, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t talk past it. “I think,” Farrah starts slowly. “I think Rauk is just as feisty and stubborn as you are. He’s not threatened by you, by your strength, Harper. He loves you just the way you are.”
I start visibly at the word love. “He doesn’t love me,” I’m quick to say in a rough voice. Kinsley and Farrah both just smile at me. “He doesn’t,” I repeat.
“Okay,” Kinsley says gently. “How did you feel when you stayed there in the Dragon Kingdom?”
“I don’t know,” I respond quickly.