Chapter 20
Twenty
Wesley
We’re both silent as I treat Blair’s knuckles.
But while she’s quiet, I wouldn’t consider Blair calm. She sits there stiff, with her jaw clenched, breathing measured, and her eyes unreadable. Given everything that Ledger’s confessed, I’m sure she’s still trying to wrap her head around it all.
I know I am.
Conflicting emotions battle inside of me. I’m sure Ledger told us the truth. There was no need for him to lie. It’s just… the truth was ugly.
The sheer audacity of Ledger to be so nonplussed about it all was probably the worst blow tonight. He really believes he’s done the right thing. The only hesitation he gave was when he noticed Blair wasn’t receiving the news as he anticipated—however that may be.
Did he think she would be grateful? Amused?
Does he not know her at all?
I finish bandaging Blair’s knuckles and box up the first aid supplies strewn over my bed. She carefully flexes her hands then mutters, “Thanks.”
Rather than reply, I leave her in my room to put the first aid kit away and to grab her some hot chocolate. When I return, I find Blair has changed into one of my shirts, her clothes—stained with Ledger’s blood—are folded by the door, and she’s leaning back against the headboard.
Her head turns in my direction but it's clear her thoughts are a mile away. When I hand Blair the mug, she takes it automatically. After watching her take a sip, I start to undress for the evening too. When I’m in pajama bottoms, I slide into the bed beside her.
Tired of her silence, I scoop Blair up into my arms. She gasps as I drag her onto my lap, taking great care to keep the hot chocolate in the mug as I move her.
“Talk to me, baby girl.”
Blair lets out a soft sigh before taking another sip of her hot chocolate. “What’s there to talk about? You heard Ledger. We got the information we were looking for.”
“Yeah, I heard him, now I want to hear from you. What are you thinking?”
For a second, I think I see fear flicker across her face. The expression disappears before I can be sure, though.
“Honestly? I… I don’t know. Nothing changes unless I know where Dad is and if he’s okay.”
I nod. “That’s fair.”
Her eyes slide up to my face. “What are you thinking?”
I suppose I should’ve expected to be asked but now that I have been, I’m not quite sure of the answer myself. It takes a few long moments for me to gather my thoughts and construct an answer.
“I’m relieved that I know my friend well enough that my suspicions about this not being about wanting to see you dead boded true,” I tell her carefully. “Nonetheless, I’m disgusted and appalled by what he’s done and quite frankly, shaken. And—”
I press my lips together, choking on the rest of my words.
Blair’s eyes narrow as she studies my face. “And what?”
Grimacing, I cave with a sigh. “I think I can almost understand his reasoning for why he did it. Ledger, he’s…
. Well, you probably know him just as well as I do—if not better.
Have you ever known him to be affectionate?
I haven’t. But I do know the lengths he’ll go to help others.
Was this an extreme length? Yeah. But he did it with mostly decent intentions.
I don’t agree with it, but I understand it.
He cares for you, in his own fucked up way. ”
I brace myself for her anger, outrage, or horror. Instead, fear returns—there and gone again.
I frown. “What is it?”
“I… I don’t know, Wes. I think there’s something wrong with me.
I don’t know how to put it into words but…
Yeah, I guess I kind of agree with you. Isn’t that crazy?
” Her eyes slide away from my face and her shoulders curl inward ever so slightly—a pose I’ve never seen her take before.
It makes her so much smaller in my hold.
In a voice so quiet she adds, “It shouldn’t make any sense, and maybe it doesn’t completely but I can see that his motives weren’t malicious.
God, what does that say about me that I understand the mind of a psychopath? ”
“There’s nothing wrong with you, baby girl. You’re perfect. This is a complicated situation and you’re having complex feelings about it. That’s normal.”
Blair says nothing to this, falling into deep thought.
She slowly sips her hot chocolate. As she does, incrementally, her body starts to unwind. She begins to lean a little more into me and I hold her tighter. I wish I could ease her turmoil somehow. Ledger really did a number on her.
Not that he intended to.
In fact, this is the exact opposite of what Ledger wanted for Blair. He didn’t want to see her hurting or upset. He brought her here to make her life better. Not only that, Ledger knew I would be able to help make that happen.
And here I am, attempting to be there for her—just as he intended—and I’m happy to do so because I love Blair Shelmore.
Every day up until my last breath, I’ll make sure Blair knows there’s always someone in her corner.
I’ll hold her when she needs it. I’ll fight to be the first one to tell her that she’s loved every morning and just before she falls asleep at night.
I’ll hold her, like I am now, when it feels like her world is caving in around her, so she knows she’s not alone.
I’ll do anything for her.
It’s hard to hold a grudge against the man who brought this woman into my life.
Ledger has gone through great lengths to get what he wanted.
Yet, while he covets her more than anything else, he kept his promise to me.
He hasn’t touched her. Sure, he hovered close by, watching her with longing, but he never caved.
Not once. That’s some sort of super strength—being able to have the one thing you want within reach and not snatching it up.
The sheer will power to keep his hands to himself must’ve been excruciating.
Now that I’ve had a taste of her, I don’t think I would’ve had that same self-control.
“I think what I feel the worst about is that he involved all of you,” Blair says after a long stretch of silence. “Ledger forced me onto you.”
Instantly, I stiffen.
This is what she’s been thinking about?
Oh, fuck that.
Reaching up, I grab Blair’s chin and force her to look back up at me. Her dark brown eyes trail over my face. There’s so much pain in them that for a moment, it becomes mine and I can’t breathe. My thumb skims over her chin as I force myself to breathe for the both of us.
When I exhale, Blair does too.
“Despite all of Ledger’s scheming, he couldn’t control this,” I tell her.
“This?”
I lean down and claim her lips fully. A deep, hearty groan works its way through me when her hand comes to rest right over my heart. When I break the kiss, I’m embarrassed to admit I’m trembling.
Smiling, I tell Blair, “He couldn’t have predicted how good we’d fit together.”
“But he said—”
“I know,” I interrupt gently. “But there was no guarantee you would give me a piece of your heart. And Ledger knew I wasn’t searching for anything or anyone. This wasn’t his doing, it was ours.”
A shiver rushes through Blair. With her leaning against me, I feel it. Her eyelashes flutter and the smallest of smiles pulls at the corners of her lips.
“I love you,” I tell her solemnly.
That smile grows incrementally. “I love you, too.”
I let go of her and she leans against me, tucking her head beneath my chin. Plucking the empty mug from her hand, I place it on the nightstand and then wrap both arms around her waist.
Before I can say anything else, the door bursts open, startling us both. I tense, twisting with Blair to put myself between her and the door. At the same time, Blair reaches for a gun on her hip that isn’t there.
“Blair!” Santiago calls out anxiously as he barges into the room. “Oops, sorry.”
I relax with a long sigh and lean back against the headboard.
It takes a few seconds longer for Blair to unwind.
Santiago takes a running leap for the bed.
He jumps, soaring parallel to the floor, to flop onto his stomach at the foot of the bed.
He bounces once then gives us a cheeky smile as he says, “Cinnamon roll.”
Blair chuckles, the sound strained. “Santi, you’re supposed to say that before entering a room. I nearly shot you the first time you did that.”
He crawls the short distance the rest of the way up the bed then tries to climb into my lap to join Blair. I push him off with a growl.
“Get off me. This lap is for this beautiful woman only.”
Santi pouts, his bottom lip jutting as he glares at me. “Favoritism isn’t a good look, Wes. I should have just as much lap time with you as Blair does.”
“Not going to happen.”
“B-but…” Santi pouts. “Your lap is big enough to hold both of us!”
I scoff. “No, it’s not.”
Blair giggles at our short back and forth. The sound is soft and short-lived but it’s a good sign.
Santi comes to sit so close that his side is pressed up against Blair’s. He reaches up and holds the back of her neck and leans forward into her face.
“None of what that asshole said changes anything, you know that, right?”
Before Blair can respond, he leans forward and kisses her hard on the mouth. When he pulls away, he scowls at her.
“Tell me you understand.”
Blair opens her mouth but then he swoops in again and kisses her, this one lasting a little longer. Santi pulls back, his face turning red as his scowl deepens.
“Carino, tell me!”
He leans in to kiss her again, but I grab his face and push him back. Santi grabs my wrist and yanks his head back to glare at me.
“What the hell?”
“If you want an answer, let her speak,” I tell him.
The scowl melts away as he glances at Blair anxiously.
She reaches out to take his hand to give it a squeeze. “It doesn’t bother you that Ledger manipulated you? He brought you here because—”
“No.” Santi interrupts quickly. “I don’t give a fuck why he brought me on. I love it here. I found love here. It all worked out for me so who cares about the original motivation?”
“But—”
Santi reaches up to grab her face with both hands and leans down to look into her eyes. “This. Changes. Nothing.”
Blair lets out a soft sigh. Her body relaxes further in my arms.
“You’re right, Santi. It changes nothing.”
This time it’s Blair that initiates the kiss, leaning into Santi who meets her halfway eagerly. I smile at the two of them.
Santi pulls away with a sigh, his expression slightly dazed as he smiles at her.
“I brought you something,” he tells her.
He reaches into his back pocket and produces a black burner phone.
I blink in surprise as Blair gasps.
“Is that Ledger’s phone?” I ask him.
Santi nods. “Yup, I just combed through his truck and found it between the seats. It’s dead though. But…”
He reaches into his pocket again and pulls out a chord.
“Look who found a charger!”
“Santi! You’re the best!” Blair grins at him.
He beams at her. “I know!”
“Humble, too,” I mutter.
Santi snickers and Blair giggles.
“Well, what are you waiting for?” I ask him. “Get that thing charging.”
He scrambles off the bed to plug the charger and phone in.
By the door comes a knock. I look over to find Rhett there, leaning against the frame with his arms crossed over his chest. His face is paler than normal and while his posture screams nonchalant, I can feel tension radiating off him.
“Ledger’s back in his cage,” he announces.
I nod. “Good. You alright?”
“Just peachy. What about our girl?”
Our girl… I like the sound of that.
Judging by the hard shiver that runs through Blair, she likes it too.
“I’ll live,” she says.
“That doesn’t mean you’re alright,” he counters.
Blair hums then shakes her head. “Honestly, I don’t know if I’m alright.”
“Fair enough,” he replies. “You know, if you need anything just… you know, tell us, or whatever.”
I hide my smile at his awkwardness. This is new for him. It’s nice to see Rhett be invested in someone other than himself, and openly at that.
Blair nods. “I know. Thanks, Rhett.”
“Urgh, don’t do that,” he grumbles. “I don’t need your gratitude. I just want this shit to be over for everyone’s sake.”
“God, you’re romantic,” Santi teases.
Rhett’s face turns red and Santi laughs in response.
In my arms, Blair snuggles closer to my chest.
“You know I love you all, right?” Blair admits softly, looking around at the three of us. “It feels wrong to admit that all of Ledger’s scheming actually worked. He gave me all of you and… And now I couldn’t possibly consider a life without any of you.”
I chuckle. “Then we should probably feel guilty too, because I’m betting we all feel the same way.”
“Well duh. You know I love you, too, carino,” Santi starts with a devilish grin. “And guess what? I don’t feel guilty about it. Not even a little.”
I glance at Rhett. When he gives a curt nod in agreement, I smile. Somehow Blair managed to wrap him around her finger. Pushing off the doorframe, Rhett mutters something about taking a shower then heading for bed but Santi stops him.
“Wait, help me bring the mattresses back downstairs again!”
“Santi…” I groan. “I thought that was going to be a one-time thing.”
Santi gasps in outrage. “Um, no! It’s permanent. That way no one has to fight over who’s sleeping with Blair.”
“Permanent?” I shake my head. “Absolutely not.”
“Absolutely yes!” Santi objects. He looks anxiously at Rhett. “Right?”
Rhett shrugs. “As long as I have a pillow and blanket and at least one of you up against me, I don’t give a fuck about the sleeping arrangements.”
Blair chuckles tiredly in my arms as she looks up at me.
“One more night?” she asks.
She’s not pushing. I can tell that she’d be content staying right here with me if I asked for the night alone. The thing is, I can’t deny this woman anything. If she wants everyone with her, then so be it.
“Fine, but let’s keep orgy antics to a minimum.”
Santi practically levitates off the bed with a whoop of excitement. Before I can tell him that we’ll be using my mattress he’s already scurrying out of the room to grab someone else’s.
“If you don’t set boundaries, don’t get upset when he starts acting like a spoiled brat,” Rhett tells Blair with a glare that lacks much heat. “Trust me.”
“He doesn’t listen to boundaries,” I point out.
Rhett pinches the bridge of his nose with exasperation. “That’s unfortunately very true.”
Blair shrugs. “I don’t want boundaries… not with any of you.”
I didn’t think I could love Blair anymore than I already did, but her words are exactly what I wanted to hear from her. She needs us and I am happy to give myself to her if it will make her happy.
“Come on,” I kiss her temple again. “Let’s get moving before I change my mind and pass out right here with you in my arms.”
Rhett scoffs as he turns and heads down the hallway. His voice drifts back into the room as he calls out, “As if Santi would let that happen.”