Chapter 21
Twenty-One
Blair
I’m up before everyone else the following morning.
The fact that I managed to sleep at all is a testament to how safe I feel in Wes’s arms and with Rhett pressed up against my back.
With my ear pressed against Wes’s chest, I listen and focus on his slow heartbeat.
The soothing, rhythmic beating is helping to keep my racing thoughts from overwhelming me.
My heart isn’t beating nearly as slowly, though.
Last night, nightmares and dreams collided. All the events that unfolded since that stupid kiss I forced on Ledger played out like some strange melodramatic play that I couldn’t look away from. Some moments were sweet, others full of heartache. They all centered around Ledger, though.
Even now, awake, I can’t stop thinking of him. The resentment that’s been a persistent, present shadow encapsulating my heart is still there. All these years trying to assimilate into the real world—all up in flames. It had been so fucking hard but I was doing it!
The resentment mixes with rage that swells up and nearly consumes me.
It’s all doused, however, by a sickly sweet, poisonous glee.
I try to ignore it. Maybe it’ll go away? I don’t want to feel anything other than rage and resentment. Ledger put a hit on me and Dad. What fucking asshole does that for people he calls family?
Not only that, he stalked me for years.
That’s crazy.
He stole my stuff and kept it close.
That’s even more insane.
Ledger plotted on how to incorporate me into his life.
What was he thinking?
He hand-picked men that he deemed worthy of me.
That’s strange, but weirdly thoughtful…
Ledger yearned for me from afar.
It takes a second to realize that I’m smiling but when I notice, it’s wiped away immediately. What the hell is wrong with me?
I can’t like the lengths Ledger’s gone to for me. That’s just… it’s so wrong. So very, very wrong… And yet, I’m smiling again.
Shaking my head, I try to dispel that twisted glee attempting to bubble up in my chest.
I fight the return of the smile by thinking of Dad.
That does the trick. The urge to smile and that horribly warm and bubbling feeling in my chest subside. Not completely but enough for me to feel the anger and resentment again. I cling to those feelings, knowing they’re more appropriate.
Where is Dad now? Dead? God… no. I nuzzle my face against Wes’s bare chest in an attempt to burrow away from the wretched thought. Dad has to be alive. My heart won’t survive the loss otherwise.
I squeeze my eyes shut.
He’s alive, he’s alive, I chant in my head.
If he is and Ledger really texted him about the situation, what did he think about the news that Dixie has a vendetta against him? I’ve never heard the name before. If Dad had a nemesis, why wouldn't he tell me about him? Is he after Dixie now? Does he have an idea who this man even is?
Did Ledger even tell him, or was that a lie?
There’s only one way to find out. His phone should be charged by now.
Carefully, I peel myself out from between Wes and Rhett and scramble out of the nest of blankets and pillows that Santi had brought down last night. Tiptoeing out of the room, I slip upstairs and into Wes’s room.
There, on his dresser is Ledger’s burner phone, charged.
Flipping it open, I turn it on. My heart hammers in my chest as I wait for it to boot up.
This is it.
I’m about to find out if Dad’s alive or if Ledger’s been lying to us.
The phone boots up and I stare at the plain background of the small screen. Before I can even open the message app, someone calls out.
“Blair?”
I jump at the sound of Santi’s voice. Looking over my shoulder, I see him hurrying into the room.
“Oh, thank god! I was having a nightmare that you were killed, then when I woke up and found you missing I started freaking out. The others are—” he looks down at the phone in my hand. “Oh! Any messages from Ledger to your dad?”
Before I can respond, Wes’s voice bellows through the house.
“BLAIR!”
I wince at the worry in his tone.
“She’s up here in your room!” Santi calls back.
There’s a thundering of footsteps and suddenly Wes and Rhett burst into the room. They both look like they’ve been woken up abruptly. Rhett’s hair is all in disarray and Wes is still blinking sleep from his eyes.
“See? I wasn’t the only one worried!” Santi points out.
“Crying out ‘Blair’s dead’ will do the trick, Santi!” Rhett snaps. “Don’t fucking do that again!”
Wes strolls across the room and reaches up to cup the back of my neck. Instantly, I relax and it appears Wes does too because he lets out a sigh and his shoulders sag.
“You alright?” he asks, his voice rough from sleep.
I chuckle, anxiously. “I think I should be asking you that.”
“I think I just lost ten years off my life after waking up like that,” Wes grumbles as he shoots Santi a glare.
Santi throws his hands up. “Now you guys know how I felt when I woke to find her gone!”
Rhett opens his mouth to argue, his scowl deepening, but Wes cuts him off.
“Now that we’re awake, maybe we just focus on the messages Ledger apparently sent to Anchor.”
This cuts the other two off. They look at the phone then up at me.
“I haven’t read anything yet,” I admit softly, looking at each of them.
“Go ahead, baby girl,” Wes urges softly.
Looking from them, to the phone, I open the messages app and read the last few that came in:
Sparrow: Figured out who’s leading this dance. The name is Dixie.
Anchor: Ten red days, and a horn’s blowing south.
Anchor: The milkshake is melting. Time to move somewhere colder.
Anchor: A hawk circles but there’s no blue light.
The room feels like it’s spinning. My heart is hammering in my chest, pounding loudly in my ears. Checking the time stamp, the last message was from two days ago. Holy shit… The phone in my hand trembles.
“Ledger was right…” I stare in wonder at the messages. “Dad’s alive.”
There’s a round of sighs of relief that echo around the room.
“Thank fuck,” Wes mutters.
I suck in a steadying breath.
It does nothing to settle me. In fact, it feels like I’m being crushed under a torrential downpour of emotions. Relief, excitement, anger, confusion, and that stupid sickly sweet joy all converge inside of me and I don’t know how to let it out.
Around me, the others are chatting.
I can hear their voices but none of it is processing. My mind reels with what this all means. Ledger was telling the truth; he’s been in contact with Dad. Which means… the rest of everything he’s said has been true as well.
He destroyed my life to rebuild it anew—his interpretation of a “better one”.
I hate how he did it and I utterly loathe how he put Dad in danger for his vision to come to fruition. But Ledger wanted me so badly he went to extremes to get me. He’s wanted me for years. All this time, all the stalking, stealing, scheming, and danger—it’s because he wanted me.
Ledger carved out room in his life to give me space to join him in it.
My heart flutters with joy.
Joy?
What the hell is wrong with me?
Why does the thought of Ledger going to such lengths to possess me have my blood racing and my thighs squeezing together? I’m furious but exhilarated.
“Baby girl?” A gentle squeeze around the back of my neck pulls me back into the moment.
I suck in shaky breath and look up from the phone to see everyone staring at me expectantly. Shit, did someone ask me something?
“W-what?” I ask, not sure who said what.
“Has your dad mentioned his whereabouts? Or if he’s working on this Dixie threat?” Wes peers over my shoulder as he tries to read the messages. I hold the phone out but I know he’ll be just as confused as I feel after reading them.
“We always talk in code, but this?” I shake my head. “These messages, they’re a warning but I can’t tell what they’re about. This must be something between Dad and Ledger.”
Wes’s thumb slides up and down my neck, the gesture soothing.
“We’ll figure it out. For now, we can relax a bit knowing your dad is alive.” He glances anxiously at the others before he adds, “We need to know what to do with Ledger, now.”
Ledger… Again, I’m hit with conflicting emotions.
Santi crosses his arms over his chest. “If Blair’s dad doesn’t take care of the threat, it’ll find us again. We’re going to need all the help we can get—maybe we think about setting him free?”
“And you think we’ll get help from Ledger?” Rhett asks skeptically. “The guy who set all of this in motion?”
“He didn’t mean to,” Santi argues. “He did this out of love.”
We all stare at Santi like he’s grown a second head.
“Excuse me?” I whisper. “You call this love?”
I’m not sure if that would make any of this better or worse. But the thought of Ledger loving me—it’s been a wish I’ve had for so long...
Santi looks at me, his brows furrowing in confusion. Then he looks around at the others.
“Wait, you really can’t see it? This was love, plain and simple.
He just didn’t know how to show it the right way.
Yeah, this was all super shitty but like, I get it to an extent.
I didn’t know how to express mine either at first. When I realized I loved you, carino, I started cumming in your body wa—” His lips slam shut as the confession, his face warming in embarrassment.
My mouth drops open.
“You were cumming in her body wash?!” Wes bellows, his hand dropping away from my neck.
“Ah…” Santi studies Wes’s face as the large man takes a step towards him. “Maybe…? It depends on what you’ll do with the information if I confirm it.”
Rhett groans loudly. “Santi, why would you do that?”
“It wasn’t only in her stuff. I did it to your stuff too when you moved in.”
Rhett’s mouth drops open, just like mine has. He recovers quicker and lunges for Santi before Wes can get to him. Rhett’s fingers wrap around Santi’s neck and he squeezes.
“I’ve been wearing your cum on me!?” he roars. “Damn it, Santi!”
“That’s a disgusting violation!” Wes shouts.
“It’s how I express my love!” Santi laughs, completely unperturbed by Rhett’s throttling.