Chapter 21 #2
Wes and Rhett start shouting their objections, but I don’t let them go on for long. I raise a hand and when that doesn’t silence anyone, I call out, “ENOUGH!”
All three men fall silent and turn to look at me.
“Santi—” I point at him with a scowl. “—stop cumming in my body wash. Or anywhere you haven’t told us. If I find out you’re still doing it after this, I’m going to personally punish you.”
He gasps in horror. Then a mischievous smile spreads across his face. “What kind of punish—”
“Cut it out,” Wes hisses angrily at him.
“As for Ledger…” My voice trails off as I consider our situation.
A churning of something malevolent and delightful brews in my gut as I think of Ledger.
He wanted me.
He still wants me.
For years Ledger fought against claiming me for his own—scared of the rift it would cause between him and his best friend but more scared of what he wants from me. He fought his sanity until he couldn’t any longer.
Ledger plotted for a future where we’d both be together—not the way I’d hoped but one that he deemed as acceptable. That plan led him to lay waste to a life I built. He schemed, hoping to give me something better than what I had.
Maybe it’s insanity.
Maybe it is a warped type of love.
Hell, it could be an addiction for me like Wes suggested.
I don’t care.
Now that I know Ledger doesn’t want me dead, that my father is alive, and all of this was for some twisted sense of hunger for me—the devastation that’s been beating on my soul recedes until that churning of morbid excitement takes over completely.
Ledger had his chance to bend his ideal future into place.
Now it’s my turn and it’s going to be so much better.
“Blair?” Wes presses.
“I don’t think Ledger’s a threat to our lives.” I lift the phone up. “He wasn’t lying, Dad’s alive and they’ve been in contact. He’s had ample opportunity to kill me this whole time and he hasn’t. I don’t think we should kill him.”
The relief on everyone’s faces is short-lived but clear.
Wes watches me closely. “So, we’re letting him out?”
Rhett’s jaw ticks. “He’s not in his right mind.”
“We’ll have to keep an eye on him but we have bigger things to worry about now,” I tell him. “Like Santi said—we may need all the help we can get.”
“What if Ledger changes his mind?” Rhett asks, his voice deepening as his body tenses. “He thought we were good for you but what if he changes his mind and he takes you away for himself?”
I grab his hand and give him a reassuring squeeze. For all of Rhett’s insistence that I don’t kill, or torture Ledger, his response surprises me. Doesn’t he want this?
“Rhett, we can’t leave him down there,” I tell him with a sigh.
His face darkens. “He built a fucking cage to hold you, Blair. Sure, he put a substitute in but what if next time he throws you in there?
That’s right… Ledger held a woman down there, pretending it was me. What a waste spending his time pretending when he could’ve had the real thing. Did Ashleigh enjoy his attention? Did he give her the affection I’ve dreamt my whole life of receiving from him?
A scary wave of jealousy crashes through me.
Wes said that he’s sure that Ledger didn’t touch her but how could Wes be so sure if he hadn’t even known about Ashleigh for months?
“He could lock you up, Blair,” Rhett continues. “Then put a bullet in our heads so that he can keep you all for him—”
“Like Blair said, we’ll have to watch him,” Wes interjects. “It’s not like we can send him away. It could make him more rash. There’s also the fact that this is his home and business.”
“There’s always my house if we want to stay there?” Santi offers.
“And bring trouble there? Without the security Gnarly Pines has?” I shake my head. “No, we let him back into the fray here.”
Wes’s nostrils flare and when he swallows, it’s audible. Rhett grimaces like he doesn’t like the idea. Santi looks at me, worry pinching his brow.
“We can let him out but can you forgive him, carino?” he asks quietly. “Because setting him free and forgiveness aren’t the same thing.”
Thrown by the question, I suck in a sharp breath.
Can I forgive Ledger for all of this?
God… there would be so much I’d have to overlook.
I consider the question, taking my time to flush out the answer because it matters whether I can give absolution to Ledger or not.
“I don’t know,” I answer honestly after a long pause. “I think it will all depend on how this ends. None of us are safe until Dixie’s dead. If Ledger’s crazy plan leads to any one of you dying, then no. I’ll never forgive him. I can’t even promise that I wouldn’t kill him if it came to that.”
The guys' grim expressions tell me that they’re just as uncertain about forgiveness as I am.
Before I let the conversation end, I ask, “I’d like to talk to Ledger, just one-on-one before we let him walk out of there. Are you all okay with that?”
There’s a unanimous round of agreement and I let out a sigh, not sure if it’s relief or just a way to expel some of this pent up storm inside of me.
“I’ll talk to him tonight. For the rest of the day, let’s just… start planning how we’ll get back to normal around here. I doubt keeping Gnarly Pines closed for long is a good thing for business.”
“You’re right,” Wes agrees. “Let’s eat and then talk business.”