Chapter 4
Bryson
Dinner is delightful. Lillian and I never run out of things to say. I didn’t expect we would since we easily talk non-stop nearly every evening without a lull in the conversation. But talking on the phone and being with someone in person can be a totally different animal.
It’s impossible to take my eyes off Lillian.
She’s stunning. And it’s not just her appearance.
That’s only a small part of why I’m staring at her.
It’s her bubbly personality, the way her eyes light up when she tells me a story, the way she licks her lips in between bites and dabs them with her napkin.
Lillian is a gem. I know from what she’s told me that she wasn’t always like this. It’s a new side of her. Until she moved out from under the oppressive thumb of her parents, she wasn’t free to laugh and relax.
I’ve learned that her sister left home four years ago when Lillian was seventeen.
Lillian was forced to deal with her parents alone for all this time.
She genuinely tried to be the good daughter when she was forced to step onto the pedestal after Simone left.
She might have even been able to continue doing so if her parents hadn’t decided she should marry someone of their choosing.
That was the last straw. She took off from Chicago to seek out Simone here in Seattle.
They are as thick as thieves now that they’ve reunited. I’ve questioned Lillian’s lifestyle preferences many times. She’s exploring. That’s expected and totally acceptable. But what are the chances both sisters are Little? That’s like a needle in the proverbial haystack.
But is it? As I watch Lillian talk, I change my mind about the odds. Both women grew up in a repressive environment. Why wouldn’t they jump at the opportunity to explore their inner Little?
“…After we finished coloring at the kitchen table, we had lunch. Camden cooked for us. He made finger sandwiches. He even cut the crusts off.”
I can’t stop smiling. I doubt I ever will when I’m with her. Cutting the crusts off is one in a long list of things I’m certain her mother or nanny or cook never did. They didn’t let Simone and Lillian be kids.
“Camden’s a good guy. It’s obvious to me he would do anything for Simone.”
Lillian chews another bite of her steak and swallows.
Her manners are ridiculously impeccable.
Not surprising, but I kind of hate that it’s so ingrained in her.
It’s not a conscious effort at all. She went to etiquette classes.
Sheesh. Her elbows never touch the table.
She’s sitting ramrod straight. She dabs her lips.
I don’t know a thing about the proper use of utensils, but the way she cuts her food, shifts her fork, and even how she sets it on the plate between bites is all deeply rooted in habit.
Lillian continues, “I can’t believe Simone lusted after him for four years and he never once let on that he was interested in her until after she graduated.”
“I know he would never want an ethical violation to mar his position at the university.” Camden is not that kind of man.
“Yeah, well, it tells me he would never hurt my sister either.”
She’s right. “So what did you three do after the crustless sandwiches?”
Lillian bites her lip. That’s not likely something she would have done under her mother’s strict rule. I bet it’s new. It’s very Little.
I lift both brows. “Is it a secret?” I joke.
“No…” She looks down and pushes a piece of lettuce around her salad plate. “Surely you don’t want to hear all the silly details about my day.”
I reach across the table and still her hand. “I enjoy all the details about your days. None of them are silly.” I’m not lying. I really do. I like to hear her talk. I like how animated she gets.
She swallows. “But this was a playdate, Bryson. Natasha and Simone are Little nearly twenty-four-seven. They don’t often break from the role, especially not at home.”
I continue to hold her gaze. “And?”
Lillian sighs dramatically. “We played dress-up, and then we played with dolls. We even had a fashion show. Are you happy?”
“Do you use that sassy tone with Camden?” I tease.
“Noooo.” She shakes her head.
“If you did, would he spank you?” Why does this idea bother me? It’s not like I want to enter into this dynamic and deal with imagined naughty behavior and spend my days spanking anyone’s bottom.
Right?
I’m starting to question myself, and that’s unnerving. The thought of Camden spanking Lillian doesn’t sit right with me, but if they negotiated, maybe he does. It’s not my place to judge.
Her ringlets swing when she shakes her head. “No. He only spanks Simone.”
I try not to make it obvious how much that pleases me, though I do release a relieved breath. Irrational. Uncalled for.
When I let go of her hand, she purses her lips for a few seconds before relaxing them.
“I’m not really, uh, naughty in front of Camden or Jameson.
Sometimes Simone and Natasha are, but I don’t join in.
It’s too awkward. If I had my own Daddy, I suppose one of them would tell him I’d misbehaved and that man could punish me as he saw fit, but I don’t, so it’s a dead-end. ”
“Does that leave you feeling left out?” Ideas are spinning around in my head.
She shrugs before filling her mouth with a cucumber, probably to avoid elaborating.
“Lillian, put your fork down.” I’ve never taken this authoritative tone with her before. I have no right. I’m not her Dom and certainly not her Daddy. But I want her attention.
When she does as I’ve commanded, my cock stiffens. Thank goodness it’s hidden under the table. “Answer me, sweet girl.”
She sighs. “It doesn’t really matter. It’s a moot issue.”
“It matters to me. Answer the question. Do you wish you could misbehave with your friends and be held accountable?”
“Sometimes,” she murmurs.
I think she’s more invested in her Little side than I was aware.
When we speak on the phone, she doesn’t bring up age play very often.
Tonight, I’m seeing another side of her.
It’s not that I didn’t know this side of her existed.
I’ve had enough hints along the way. In addition, I’ve seen evidence of her Little side in the background of our video calls.
I’m going way out on a limb here. “Would you like it if I took on the role of disciplinarian for you?”
Her eyes widen. “You can’t do that.”
“Why not?”
“You’re not a Daddy. It would confuse me.”
She has a point.
But I’m intrigued by this. The thought of getting a call from Camden and swinging by his house to spank Lillian makes my hand twitch. I rub it on my thigh before curling my fingers against my pants.
“Lillian, are you having a good time tonight?”
She gasps. “Yes. Of course.”
“Will you go out with me again?”
She nods.
“Then we can’t put off discussing what things are going to look like between us.
We have different kink preferences, but we’re going to have to see if they can align in some way.
This seems like a decent place to start.
I certainly don’t have an aversion to spanking women.
I don’t see why I can’t extend that to a woman in a frilly dress. ” I grin to keep things light.
She squirms in her seat, rocking back and forth a few times. The idea intrigues her. That’s a good sign. “With your hand?”
I smile broader. “Of course, sweet girl.”
“I know you prefer to inflict pain with crops and stuff.”
“I do. Ordinarily. But I would never use a toy like that on a new submissive under any circumstances. Nor would I do anything with any sub without negotiating first.”
“Is that what we’re doing now? Negotiating?”
“Yes.”
She chews on her bottom lip for a few seconds before releasing it. “No one has ever spanked me, so I don’t know if it’s something I would even like.”
“And that’s part of negotiating.” I point at her steak. “Finish your meal, Lillian. We can talk while we eat.”
She rolls her big eyes. “Maybe you can talk while you eat, but my stomach is in knots from this. It’s one thing to discuss our days. It’s another thing entirely to discuss spanking while I try to chew.”
I chuckle. “Good point. Finish eating. Then we can resume this conversation.”
She picks up her fork and eats a piece of lettuce. I can’t blame her for being unnerved. I’d be concerned if she wasn’t.
I change the subject to something lighter, telling her about the client I met with today who wanted windows in their bathroom. Low ones on the side of the room that faces another home.
When she finishes eating, she sets her knife and fork parallel across the plate. I’d bet my last dollar it’s a sign for the waitstaff that she’s done. It probably also tells them she enjoyed her meal.
She sits up taller and meets my gaze. “Do you want to spank me?”
I love how bold she is. “That’s a loaded question, sweet girl.”
“It’s pretty simple.”
I’m not as cultured as her, and I push my plate back a few inches so I can set my elbows on the table and rub my hands together. “Yes, I’d love to spank you.”
She tips her head to one side, her eyes narrowed. “Not because I’ve done something naughty?”
“Nope. I’m not the kind of Dom who spanks submissives for discipline.
When people ask me to spank them at Surrender, they do so because they need the release they get from impact play.
They don’t need a reason. Now, they might have something in their personal life that’s bothering them, and they perhaps use impact play to purge their perceived issue or transgression, but it’s not usually something they share with me.
I’m not a disciplinarian. I’m a sadist.”
She slowly nods. “So you’re saying you want to spank me because you feel like it?” Her brow is adorably furrowed.
“I want to spank you because I’m curious how you’ll react.
I’m curious to see if you’ll find impact play relaxing or hate it.
I want to know if you will enjoy the pain and embrace it or run from the room.
I’d like to know if it makes you cry or brings you pleasure.
” I lean closer to her and lower my voice.
“And there’s one more reason I want to spank you, Lillian. ”
She holds her breath, eyes wide with curiosity.
“It’s purely selfish and not something I experience often.” I’m probably mean for dragging this out.
She licks her lips, saying nothing.
“I want to see your naked bottom. I want to touch it. I want to grip your globes. I want to watch your skin turn pink.” I lean even closer, lowering my voice further. “The thought makes my cock hard.”
Her breath hitches, and her cheeks flush.
After a few beats, I continue, “Some Doms get aroused from a scene. Some don’t. Some do with certain partners. Some never do. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt any connection between my desire to dominate a woman and sexual arousal.”
Her lips part. She’s breathing heavily. Her chest rises and falls dramatically. She’s turned on.
Thank God.