Chapter 5
Lillian
My head is spinning. This is not a conversation I expected to have tonight. I don’t know what the hell I thought would happen on this date, but a discussion about spanking wasn’t on my bingo card.
The second square I didn’t have on my bingo card was me wet and horny from such a discussion. I’ve thought about spanking. Who wouldn’t? I’ve researched it. After all, I’ve seen my sister get spanked in a very intimate setting. Even though I bailed before things became sexual, I got the gist.
Rationally, I understand most of what Bryson said to me just now. I understand impact play can have many different results for both parties. Whatever I didn’t learn from the internet, Simone has told me.
I’ve been curious for a month. I want to know what it feels like. And there’s no one I’d rather have spank me than Bryson. That’s a given. But I didn’t really think he would be willing to do it.
Before I manage to formulate a solid thought to share, Bryson continues, “Honestly, Lillian, I don’t usually mix kink with pleasure.
I don’t seek out masochists to scene with because I’m attracted to them.
Usually, I don’t seek out play partners at all.
I’m well-known at Surrender. They come to me.
They sign up for a scene with me because they have either done so before or they know my reputation.
I deliver what they crave, and we both win. ”
I finally find words. “Why am I different?” I whisper.
“I have no idea. I knew you were different the moment I met you. I also knew you were off-limits.”
“Why am I off-limits?”
“A million reasons. Your age. Your lack of experience. Your naivete about the kink world. The fact that I know your sister and Camden. They would have me kicked out of the club and banned from any other club in the state if I hurt you.”
I give him an odd smile. “Isn’t that the goal? To hurt me?”
He shakes his head. “Never. I’m not talking about pain. I’m talking about emotional damage. Four weeks ago, I couldn’t have lured you into a private room and lowered you onto a spanking bench. The risk that you would have been scarred and left the club upset would have been too high.”
“But that was a month ago. What about now?”
“Now you know more. You’re informed. Your sister knows we talk.”
He’s right. I’ve told Simone nearly everything about my odd relationship with Bryson. She and Camden know I’m out with him tonight. They have a GPS locator on my phone. Not that they’re worried. They trust Bryson.
Actually, they are concerned, but not about my safety. They’re afraid I’m too starry-eyed over Bryson and have hopes for something that probably won’t happen between us.
The waitress removes our plates while we stare at each other, and then she silently leaves us.
Bryson lowers both hands to the table, reaching for me.
I set my palms in his. I like the connection. I may be panicking. This is a serious conversation. But I’m grounded when he touches me. “Lillian, if you want to experience spanking, I want to be the one to do it. The thought of you going to someone else, even Camden or Jameson, makes me twitchy.”
“Okay.” I certainly would rather that Bryson spank me than anyone else.
He inhales deeply and blows it out, seeming relieved.
I take a deep breath and go for broke. “Tonight? Will you do it tonight?” I probably sound eager, but I am. It’s like a bandage I want to rip off. I want to know what it feels like, and it’s going to bug me until I do.
Bryson’s nostrils flare when he inhales sharply. “Yes, sweet girl. I’ll do it tonight. But I have stipulations.”
I giggle. “Of course you do.”
“Lillian, I’m serious. Negotiation is important.” He says he’s serious, but he’s fighting a grin.
“I don’t think Simone and Camden pause whenever he dominates her to negotiate.”
“That’s because they’ve already created an agreed-upon set of rules. They don’t have to write them down or get signatures, sweet girl. I can assure you they had a thorough discussion before Camden spanked her the first time.”
“Their power exchange is twenty-four-seven. He doesn’t pause to ask her if it’s okay before he makes her stand in the corner or spread her legs under the table.” I shiver because I’ve seen Camden Daddy Simone in many ways, and I’ve never seen them stop to discuss it first.
“Same with spanking. At some point, she agreed to the parameters. It’s not always as cut and dry with Daddies and Littles, but Camden would never introduce something new to their dynamic without talking to her about it first. Not if it was important and might cause her emotional or physical harm.
I’m not talking about suddenly adding a rule that she’s not allowed to touch the hot stove.
That kind of rule is standard in an age-play relationship.
I’m talking about more serious things like adding a paddle or humiliation kink. ”
For a moment, I wonder what humiliation kink is, but then I realize I can guess. “You mean like spanking her in front of someone or letting someone see her naked?”
“Exactly.”
I glance around. I hope to God no one is listening to us. I don’t see anyone paying any attention. “What are your stipulations?”
“I only spank bare skin. Always. Non-negotiable. I need to be able to see what I’m doing to be sure I don’t go too far. Everyone’s skin is different.”
My face heats, but I get it. I’m certain Camden and Jameson spank their Littles with their panties down.
“If you’re not ready for me to see your bottom, then tonight is not the night for this.”
“I’m ready,” I agree, probably too eagerly.
“Secondly, we are not mixing anything sexual with impact play tonight. I won’t touch your pussy.”
I push out my bottom lip in a pout that must make me look like the Littlest Little on the planet.
Bryson chuckles. “Such a naughty girl. I won’t back down on this, Lillian. If you want me to spank you, I want you to focus on how it feels without wondering if I will also thrust my fingers into you. I won’t.”
I sigh dramatically. “Okay.”
He laughs. “Are you still doubting if you’re Little, sweet girl?”
I shrug. “I don’t have enough experience to make an informed decision yet.”
“Well, I have enough experience with Littles to say there’s no doubt you enjoy some aspects of the lifestyle. But I’ll withhold judgment for now.”
“Thank you.” I sit taller. He’s probably right, but I haven’t fully faced my preferences yet.
Just because I’ve been experimenting doesn’t mean I have to commit to anything.
In fact, Camden says I never have to commit.
I can be Little for any length of time I want.
Some Littles prefer to play for only a few hours a day or on weekends or one night a week.
Some like a more full-time experience. I don’t know who I am.
“One more stipulation, sweet girl. You may not argue with me if I decide you’ve had enough.
I’ve spanked a lot of people, Lillian. I know what to look for.
If I don’t think I should continue, I will stop.
That doesn’t have to mean we won’t try it again another time, but you’ll accept my decision in the moment. ”
“Yes, Sir.” My breath hitches as those words leave my mouth. I’ve never spoken them before. Not to him or anyone.
He gives me a slow smile. “I think I like the sound of that.” Finally, he releases me and picks up the check at his elbow. I don’t even know how it got there. I wasn’t paying attention.
Bryson pulls his wallet out and leaves cash on the table before rising. “Are you ready?” He holds out a hand.
I let him help me up and lead me out of the restaurant. I’m pretty sure my life is about to be flipped upside down. I just hope I don’t get hurt.