CHAPTER 8
ROOK
I’m putting a lot of my cards on the table by showing up at Meadow’s place. It would probably be a better idea for me to give Meadow some space. But I can’t. I need to see her.
It’s been like an itch under my skin; one I couldn’t reach.
My heart is hammering inside of my chest when I knock on the door. I can hear some shuffling on the other side, which only causes my senses to heighten.
I’m about to see her again.
I might only get one chance to say everything that has been going round and round in my brain since the moment I woke up today. Maybe I should have said it all on the phone earlier, but it felt like this confession deserves to be done in person.
When Meadow swings her door open, her mouth opens for a moment before she snaps it closed. My eyes sweep over her, and my cock thickens behind the fly of my jeans. She looks edible.
Her blonde hair is piled high on the top of her head in a way that looks effortless and she probably pulls it up there without thinking about it or knowing how fucking sexy it is.
She’s wearing leggings that hug the curve of her hips.
The t-shirt she’s wearing is oversized and hangs off one shoulder.
The way her bare skin is calling to me has my hands clenching into fists at my side. I desperately want to reach for her.
“Rook?” Her eyebrows pull together in confusion. “What’s going on? Is everything okay?”
She glances out of her door, first looking in one direction and then the other before her blue eyes come up and find mine again. The concern shining there as she looks at me undoes me completely.
Without thinking about it, I take a step over her threshold. She takes a step back, but there’s no fear on her face.
“I’m okay,” I rasp and take another step, one she mirrors again which allows me even more room in her home which I’m going to, without a doubt, take up. “I just needed to see you.”
Her eyes widen and her lips part. Her pink lips look delicious. I want to taste them. I want to taste her.
She squeaks, “You needed to see me?”
I hate the disbelief in her voice, and my mouth goes dry as I nod. “I’ve been thinking about something since last night, as I was trying to fall asleep. I was tossing and turning most of the time while sleep evaded me.”
Meadow swallows hard and her breathing turns shallow. Hunger flashes in her eyes, but then it’s gone just as quickly.
“You couldn’t sleep?” Something softens on her face.
“No,” I tell her honestly, “I couldn’t stop thinking about getting married to you.”
“It’s a big thing,” she whispers the words like they’re a confession she’s not sure she wants to make.
“It is,” my voice drops deeper and rumbles out of my chest. I can’t take it anymore, my hands come up and I wrap my arms around her, one hand pressing into the small of her back and the other sliding up her spine until the tips of my fingers are at the nape of her neck.
“It’s a huge thing. I think that’s what had me up all last night and why I spent the morning thinking about my grandparents. ”
She sucks in a sharp breath, her voice wavering slightly as she asks, “Why?”
“Because they had something real,” I admit, my mouth going dry.
“Even though my father didn’t come around often, and brought his new wife even less, it was obvious that they don’t love each other.
I think they hate each other, actually.” I shake my head slightly, the memory of it like a knife finding a soft place between my ribs.
“It was so much more obvious because for the longest time the only example I had was my grandparents who were deeply in love. They weren’t overly affectionate or anything, but the love between them was obvious. ”
“That’s beautiful,” her voice takes on a wistful quality. “My parents are still together, but I’m not sure they even like each other. They’re cordial, polite, but I don’t think that’s what love is.” She casually shrugs one shoulder. “Maybe it’s what love is to them.”
“But not to you,” I don’t phrase it like a question. I say the words like they’re true because they are and I don’t need her to tell me.
It’s written all over her face.
“Not to me,” her voice is small, as if she doesn’t want to admit the truth in them.
“I always figured I would get married once and have the kind of relationship they had.” I pull in a deep slow breath, hoping I don’t scare her away with the truth I needed her to know before this goes any further.
“I never told anyone, not even them, how much I admired their relationship. Sometimes I would see the work behind it, the way they would dance around each other when times were strained. Then there were times when they leaned into each other, leaned on each other. It was something I admired, something I envied. I think I’ve been looking for the same kind of partnership my entire life. ”
“That makes it even more special, when it’s not always easy and you have to work for it from time to time.
It keeps you honest.” My fingers tighten slightly at the nape of her neck with her words.
“But I don’t understand why you’re here telling me all of this,” I can hear the confusion in her voice as her blue eyes move back and forth across my face to study me.
“I only want to get married once,” the truth slips from my lips unbidden.
She freezes in my hold, and I can practically feel the flutter of her heart. “I don’t understand, are you saying you don’t want to marry me? How will you get the farm?”
“I’m still marrying you,” my voice is insistent.
“I think you’ve broken me,” she says with her mouth twisting to the side slightly. “Or something is wrong because you keep saying words, but I have no idea what you’re trying to say.”
“I’m not making a lot of sense,” I grunt and pull her against my chest just a little bit closer.
The way her body molds against mine is sweet in a way I’m not sure I deserve.
“I’ve always wanted something real, for my marriage to be real.
I understand you just blurted out you’d marry me because you’re a good person, a kind woman with a heart of gold.
I’m saying that us getting married needs to be more than that for me. ”
A bead of sweat slowly makes it way down the back of my neck until my t-shirt absorbs it. I have no idea what she’s going to say, but I know I have to give this a shot.
If she doesn’t want me, I’ll keep my hands off her.
She hasn’t stepped away from you or shaken off your hands.
“You want it to be real?” She asks the question like it’s a bomb about to blow up in her face.
“Would it be so bad? Could you,” I force myself to look in her eyes, “see yourself giving it a real try?”
“Yes,” she breathes out the word without any hesitation.
And I know.
I fucking know.
This is a real chance. It’s all I need to know.
My movements are slow, giving her more than enough time to stop me or pull away, but she doesn’t move. I don’t even think she breathes. And then my lips are pressing against hers.
She melts into me and it feels like I’ve won a contest I didn’t know I was entering. Her lips part and she sucks in a breath. My hand slides a little higher, my fingers wrapping forward around her neck. I can feel the thump of her pulse and the way she’s trembling in my arms.
“Rook,” she moans into my mouth.
Something snaps inside of me and my tongue plunges inside her mouth to play with hers. Kissing her feels like something new, something exciting. But it’s also familiar in a way I want to hold onto.
“Tell me,” I demand against her lips.
Her hands slide up the outside of my arms until she latches onto my shoulders, her nails digging in and grounding me in the moment. My hands flex on her body, needing to hold her tighter, needing more of her.
“I want this,” her voice tight. “I want you.”
It’s not the confession I was hoping for, but it’s enough. It’s more than fucking enough.
My hands find her hips, and I lift her easily while her legs wrap around my waist as I carry her blindly through her place. It’s not very big, which means it isn’t difficult to find her bedroom.
Part of me wants to wait, to wait until I can have her in our bed, the one we’ll be sharing for the rest of our lives if it’s up to me. But I know I’m not strong enough to hold off.
I want her too fucking badly.
“Meadow,” I groan, “you feel so good in my arms.”
The mewl that comes from her throat is part purr, part needy sound.
When I lay her out on her bed, my hands find the waistband of her leggings.
My fingers hook there and tug the fabric down her legs.
I don’t bother looking where I’m tossing the cloth, discarding it with a hint of disgust because it hid her from me.
Mine.
A single word. It roars through my mind.
She’s mine.
My hands slide up the sides of her torso, gliding along her ribs and taking her shirt with me. She lifts up enough to allow me to slide the shirt free of her body. My cock throbs at the sight in front of me.
“You’re stunning, my Wildflower,” I murmur with reverence.
“Wildflower?” The word gets caught in her throat as she looks up at me with hope.
Even though everything in me wants to go fast, I force myself to still. “Whenever I think of you, I think of a meadow filled with wildflowers. Strong and resilient and there to exist in the happiness, in the moments that make people smile while not demanding to be witnessed at all.”
Her eyes fill with tears, and her arms reach for me. But I don’t go to her yet. Instead, I strip down. Only then do I cover her body with mine. I crave the feeling of her skin against mine.
Meadow twines her arms around my neck, her face open in a way she hasn’t allowed me to see before. She’s so damn beautiful.
“Meadow,” I murmur her name as I lower myself over her. Our skin touches and we both hiss out a breath at the contact. “Are you sure about this? We can wait if you want. I don’t want to rush you, or rush into this.”
“We’re going to get married. Think of this as a test drive,” her voice is filled with sass.
“Fuck,” I growl.
My hand slides over her hip as I balance my weight on my other forearm.
Her skin pricks with goosebumps as I take her mouth in a kiss that is part sweet and part brutal passion.
When my fingers slide between her thighs and along the edge of her panties, I dip underneath and find her slit soaked with her arousal.
She moans into my mouth, and I swallow down the sound; it tastes like sugar. “So sweet,” I grunt. “So fucking wet for me.”
When I plunge two fingers inside of her tight pussy, her nails dig into my shoulders and my hips jerk with the need to be buried deep inside of her. “Oh,” she holds the word out, her hips rolling against my hand as I start to fuck her with my fingers.
I sit back on my knees and slide my hand under her back, undoing her bra before pulling it away from her body. Even though I hate it, I pull my fingers from her pussy, loving the way her juices glisten on my skin.
When I undress her completely, I meet her gaze to find hers hazy with lust, her eyes glazed over and her plump pink lips parted with her shallow breaths. Fuck, I want to see that same look on her face every day.
“You’re so wet for me,” I murmur, the words being pulled from me without even thinking about it. “So responsive,” my voice is filled with awe as her hips jolt as my hands slide up her legs and over her thighs.
“Rook,” her voice is filled with a plea without words.
“Tell me what you need,” my voice is rough and barely contained.
“You,” she moans, her back arching like she’s trying to get closer to me. “I want to feel you inside me. I need it,” her voice breaks slightly.
I don’t hesitate. I cover her with my body, the length of my cock sliding along her slit while being covered in her juices. She grinds against me, chasing the friction she needs.
“I’ve got you, Wildflower,” my voice is strained while I clench my jaw.
“Now,” she demands. “Fuck me, now, Rook.”
“Damn it,” I bite out.
While gripping the base of my cock, the crown finds her entrance, and I slide inside of her with one sure thrust. I don’t go fast; I savor the feeling of her opening up for me. It’s bliss in a way I’ve never felt before.
We both freeze for a moment when I’m buried to the hilt inside of her. Then her nails bite into my shoulders and I start to move. She meets every one of my thrusts, our bodies propelling us and our pleasure echoing and multiplying.
I feel the edge get closer, but I clench my entire fucking body, trying to hold off my impending orgasm. Not yet.
For a split second, the fact that I’m fucking my future wife bare, hits me right in the center of my chest. But it only pushes me closer to filling her with my cum.
My balls draw up as the sound of our bodies slapping together and our ragged moans fill the room. “I need you to come,” I grind the words out.
I can feel the way she’s getting closer to falling over the edge. It’s in the way her breathing has gone ragged. It’s in the way the walls of her pussy are starting to tighten around my length. It’s in the way her eyes are getting wider.
“I’m barely holding on,” my voice is a mix of a warning and a desperate plea.
“Rook,” my name on her lips comes out as a keening sound that goes straight to my balls.
“I’ve got you,” I promise. “Let go.”
As if my words are enough, her body locks up and I get a front row seat to every second of her pleasure. It’s too fucking much for me. I’m not strong enough and I sure as hell don’t want to be.
I follow after her with a roar, ensuring I’m as deep inside of my woman, my Wildflower, as possible. My vision goes hazy at the edges, the feeling of being buried inside of her making it feel like I’m floating.
I’m not entirely sure what is going to happen tomorrow and if we’ll really be able to make this work. But I hope we will.
And I sure as hell am going to do anything in my power to ensure I can keep holding my woman in my arms.
It’s as good a place to start as any.