CHAPTER 9
MEADOW
The last few days have been a whirlwind. And I’ve been more than happy to be caught in it. It’s probably better that I’ve been so busy and haven’t been able to think about what I’m about to do, except during the night when everything has the chance to catch up with me.
It’s in those moments that I’m not sure if I’m making the right choice. Sure, I’m helping Rook out and I want to believe everything he said when he showed up at my house the other night. I gave myself to him then, without reservation. I wanted him; I still want him.
As much as I want to believe the words he said, I’m afraid they were just pretty lies. My heart is on the line. If I give into what he seems to be asking for—a real chance at making this marriage last—then I put myself at risk.
It would be so easy to fall into this with the hope that he’ll be there to catch me.
I smooth the simple white sundress I’m wearing down, even though I don’t need to. It’s just automatic at this point and an attempt to hide my nerves. But I don’t think it’s working, considering the way my best friends are eyeing me.
Mayer, ever practical, steps closer to me and lowers her voice, “If you don’t want to do this, we can get you out of here.”
The fierce tone of her words tells me she is completely serious. And I don’t doubt she’s come up with some sort of contingency plan just in case. I can almost picture her throwing a jacket over my head and rushing me away from the judge’s chambers we’re supposed to step into.
It might be a simple ceremony, but Rook asked the judge if we could do some things to make it feel like a real wedding.
Which is why I’m standing outside of the judge’s chambers while waiting for my cue.
My three best friends, who are all wearing colorful dresses, are going to walk down the aisle ahead of me.
No flowers.
No frills.
Just the man I’m about to marry waiting on the other side, a judge, and my girls.
It’s exactly what I want for the ceremony. I have no doubt the party that my best friends have put together will make up for the low-key ceremony.
I didn’t want something big and fancy. It’s just not me. And something about it feels dishonest since I’m not sure how real this marriage will be.
Even with everything Rook said the night he came to me.
“No,” I shake my head, “I’m not running.”
“Okay,” Mayer agrees easily and stands up straight, “but I had to offer.”
“Thanks,” I murmur softly and she smiles at me before pulling me into a quick hug.
It’s exactly what I need.
With my best friends surrounding me, standing beside me, as I step into this new chapter of my life. Even though I have no idea how the story ends. Maybe no one does. Even when you think you know the ending, life has a way of proving you wrong.
When the doors open, my eyes immediately go to Rook. He’s standing next to the judge’s desk; his head bowed until the sound of the doors opening hits him. His head snaps up and his brown eyes find me immediately.
The way his gaze sweeps down my body and then back up has my cheeks heating. Appreciation and hunger shine in his eyes. My nipples pebble with the way he’s looking at me.
I want him.
Because I know what kind of pleasure he can give me. Over the last few days, he’s been very diligent in showing me just how good he can make me feel. He’s been spending every night in bed with me intent on convincing me that giving this a real chance is the right thing to do.
I really don’t need more convincing. I’m all in; I can feel it.
Rook’s eyes turn glassy with unshed tears, and my breath catches in my throat. That look. It’s real. He’s looking at me like I’m the only person in the room; it makes my heart skip a beat.
He is the only thing I can focus on as I move closer. When I stop in front of him, he reaches for my hands. His grip is firm as his thumb moves over my knuckles. The way he’s touching me grounds me and helps to calm all my nerves.
Maybe this can really work.
I’m barely able to pay attention to what the judge says. The ceremony is short, but I don’t mind. When I’m asked if I take Rook as my husband, my voice comes out strong, “I do.”
The smile that lifts his lips isn’t weighed down by the grief that has been clinging to him since I saw him at the funeral.
It makes my heart feel lighter at the sight of it.
I hope that I’m good for him and can help him work through the pain of losing the last person who mattered to him in his life.
Maybe I can matter to him now.
My gaze drifts down to the ring he slipped on my finger, and I can’t help but smile. It’s a beautiful ring. It looks vintage in a way that makes me wonder if it’s a family heirloom. Is this the same ring his grandmother wore?
Just as the judge pronounces us husband and wife, my eyes find Rook’s again. He doesn’t let the judge tell him to kiss me; he’s moving before the words can fill the room. His hands grip my hips, and he pulls me flush against his chest.
One of his hands glides up my spine until his hand fits into place gripping the nape of my neck. He leans me back slightly and then his mouth is on mine. I gasp against his lips, the jolt that rolls through my body reminding me exactly how it feels to have his skin against mine.
“You’re my wife now,” there’s possession wrapped up in his words as he murmurs them against my lips.
“And you’re my husband.” My lips curve into a grin as he rights me while desire flashes in his eyes as he looks down at me.
We turn together to where my girls are standing as our witnesses, as our support, as my family. Even though my parents will be at the party; I wanted this to just be us.
My best friends cheer for us, their exuberance making me laugh with my head tipped back. When I glance up at Rook, he’s looking at me like he’s never going to let me go.
I can only hope.
“Let’s go party,” Greylin chirps as Rook starts to lead me out of the judge’s chambers.
His hand is warm and firm as he laces our fingers together. I bring the other one up to look down at my ring. It’s beautiful and perfect for me—it’s not too big, but the diamond still catches the light just right.
“Where’d you get the ring?” I can’t help but ask the question.
Rook pauses long enough for me to glance up at him. The tops of his ears turn pink and it’s adorable. “It was my grandmother’s ring,” his voice is thick with emotion as he answers me.
I suck in a sharp breath and then let it out slowly. Even though I suspected it was true, hearing it is a whole other thing.
“I can’t wear your grandmother’s ring,” I hiss at him, fear hitting the middle of my chest. I’m going to lose it, ruin it, or have some other horrible thing befall the ring.
The ring his grandmother wore as a symbol of her marriage to his grandfather.
Somehow the ring now feels heavier on my finger.
The moment we step outside the courthouse, Rook turns toward me which makes me stop at the top of the steps. My friends scurry past us and wave while saying something about making sure everything is perfect for our entrance.
I’m barely listening to them because Rook’s brown eyes are looking down at me with an intensity that makes me feel like prey. I can’t say I dislike the feeling.
“You can wear her ring,” his voice is firm. “She would have wanted you to wear it, Wildflower,” his voice softens around the edges as if the memories of her cause him both joy and pain.
Grief is funny like that.
His eyes go unfocused as he looks over my shoulder.
“She would have loved you,” he confesses.
“She would have been right there with your girls cheering us on.” When his gaze focuses again, he looks down at me with a small smile playing on his lips.
“You are the rightful owner of that ring. If she were still with us, she would have pressed it into my hand and told me to slip on your finger a while ago.” His eyes slide closed and vulnerability fills his words, “For a moment, when I was sliding it into place, I swear I felt her standing right next to me. I could feel her pride.”
“Then I’ll wear it in honor of her and her strength. I have a feeling it takes a lot of both to deal with a Sherman man,” I tease him and pretend I’m not uncertain even though I am.
His head tips back on his shoulders as he lets out a hearty laugh. “I’m pretty sure she’d agree with you on that one.”
Even though the sadness remains in his eyes, which I think is going to be there for a while, the smile he flashes me is pure sunlight. Knowing that I’m the one who put it there does something to my heart. I want to make him smile every day.
Rook pulls me against his chest and my hands land on his shoulders. “We should get going. I want you to enjoy this party; you deserve it.”
“We should get going,” I echo his words while nodding slowly.
Neither one of us move.
When he leans down, my hands slide up around his neck, and I tip up to close the rest of the distance between us.
This kiss, our second as a married couple, is different from the ones before.
It’s so much better, layered with a hope I know only exists because we’re going to try to make this marriage real.
As he deepens the kiss, his tongue slips into my mouth and twirls with my own. I groan while his chest rumbles with something like delight.
When we break apart, he presses his forehead against mine. We’re both breathing heavily while ignoring everything else around us.
“We better get going soon,” I murmur with a smile, “or else my girls will send out a search party. They’ve been working hard on this.”
“Did they give you any details about it?”
I pout and shake my head. “No,” I whine slightly, “can you believe it? The only thing I was allowed to do or know about was what I needed to bake.”
“They shouldn’t have even told you that,” he grumbles while leading me over to his truck.
It’s dirty and perfect for us. Still, Rook shoots me a look of shame. He shouldn’t feel a certain way about it. This is a truck that does good, honest work, and I don’t mind a little dirt.
“I wasn’t going to let anyone else bake for my reception,” I insist, my voice taking on a haughty tone.
The drive is quiet as we make our way to Green Mountain High, but it’s not uncomfortable. And it’s exactly what I need. I feel like I’m recalibrating, resetting myself from single to married.
It’s an adjustment for sure, but one I’m happy to make. I almost can’t believe I’m married to Rook now.
When we walk into the event space of GMH, Mayer is there with a huge grin on her face. She projects her voice to be loud enough for everyone to hear, “Please help us welcome, for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Sherman.”
Everyone in the room cheers and the smile on my face is so wide that it starts to hurt my cheeks. The next few hours are a complete blur. I hug my parents and they congratulate me like this marriage didn’t start because of a will.
Sure, they don’t know about that detail. I’ll never tell them about it either.
Mom hugs Rook and my dad shakes his hand, both wear matching polite smiles. We might not be remarkably close, but it does warm my heart that they showed up for me today.
We dance, we eat, we enjoy being celebrated. It’s a wonderful day and so much more than I imagined when I told Rook I would marry him. This feels real.
After we say our goodbyes and Rook leads me back out of GMH, the stars are out and shining down on us like they approve of our union. As I glance up, I gasp while realizing that we’re supposed to head to the farm tonight, but I was so anxious that I forgot to pack a bag.
Rook looks down at me with a knowing smile. Gemma’s voice behind me has me twirling around to find my three best friends standing there, “If you just realized you don’t have your stuff, you should know we took care of it.”
I arch an eyebrow and challenge her, “What do you mean you three took care of it? Is there anything I actually need in the bags you packed or just lingerie?”
Greylin winks at me while Mayer shrugs and Gemma zips her lip and mimes throwing away the key. I eye my best friends with suspicion, but it’s mostly for show. I know they ensured I’d have what I need, probably more than I need.
And when it’s time to pack up the rest of my place to move it all out to the farm, I know that they’ll be there to help.
I step away from Rook and move toward the women who have grown alongside me, encouraged me, and helped me make my dream into a reality.
I’m not sure if they reach for me first or if I reach for them, but then we’re hugging each other with a fierceness which makes promises that even love and husbands won’t stand in the way of our friendship.
We’re family and it’s not going to change. Ever.
“I love you all,” I murmur. “Thank you for always having my back.”
They echo the words, telling me they love me too. When I step back, I have to wipe away the tear that fell without permission.
We’ve gone through a lot of changes in our friendship, but this one is huge.
“Now go,” Gemma’s voice is low and a little rough as she pushes me gently back toward my husband, “and enjoy your wedding night.”
When I turn toward Rook, he offers me his hand, and I slip mine into his without hesitation. I’m more than ready to celebrate at home.
Home. With Rook. It’s almost unbelievable, but here I am.