Chapter 7
Home.
That was the only word Evan heard.
He couldn’t move. He couldn’t breathe.
His ex-wife had invited him to go home with her. To their home. Or at least it had been for over twelve years.
Having her in his arms numerous times over the past several hours had been wonderful. He’d needed her just as much she needed him. It was almost as though he’d never left for the East Coast.
But he had left…both her and Kylie. And now their daughter was gone.
Genevieve hadn’t invited him home to stay with her. She was just asking him to take her home. He was her ride. He’d picked her up and brought her to the hospital.
Evan gestured toward the elevators. “A shower and a few hours’ sleep sound wonderful.”
“Maybe not in that order.” Genevieve yawned. “I might just fall asleep on the way home.”
They both stepped onto the elevator at the same time.
“I swear, you used to always sleep on the way home after a party.” Evan smiled at the memory.
“Several glasses of wine helped.” When she looked up at him with that small smile she gave only to him, he wanted to kiss her lips like he had a million times before.
But he couldn’t. She was no longer his.
Within a minute after starting the engine, he heard her let out a long sigh as she tilted her head to the window. Her breathing quickly evened out. She was sound asleep.
As he drove the familiar way home, Evan made a mental list of everything he had to do, then prioritized each item.
When he pulled onto her street, he fought the growing feeling of coming home. Everything was déjà vu, including Genevieve instantly awakening.
She blinked as she looked around, then her gaze finally settled on him. She straightened and the mask of distance fell into place. “Thank you for picking me up.” She reached across the center console and touched his forearm. “You were right. I was in no condition to drive.”
He loved the feel of her hand on him. Refusing to lose the heat that she passed into his body, he laid his large hand over hers and kept it in place. “We’ll get through this…together. I’m here for you.”
She slid her hand from underneath his. “I’ve always been here for you. You just weren’t always here.” She quickly slid from his SUV but stood in the door. She lowered her head and closed her eyes. “I’m sorry. That was mean of me.”
“Don’t apologize. You’re right. I wasn’t always here.” He slowly shook his head side to side. “And sometimes, my body was here but I wasn’t. I’m the one who needs to apologize to you.”
She gave him a weak smile. “We’ll talk, but not right now. My brain can’t handle anything more. Stores don’t open until ten. Why don’t you pick me up around then? We have a lot of shopping to do so I can bring Ian home.”
“So, we can bring Ian home,” he corrected. “I meant it when I said that I’m here for you, but that baby back in the hospital is my grandson, too. I’m going to be part of his life. I’m stationed here in Coronado for at least three years, hopefully more.”
For the first time in his career, Evan considered leaving the Navy before he wore stars. He’d fucked up with Genevieve and Kylie. He’d definitely do better with Ian.
Her facial expression, though tired, screamed yeah, right . “I’ll see you around ten.” She closed the door and he waited until she disappeared inside the house.
As Evan drove back to his temporary quarters, he could see dark shadows on the beach.
Young men, hoping to someday wear the Trident, exercised together on the gritty sand in the predawn.
He wondered how many of those young men had left warm beds with their wives still asleep.
Did any of them kiss their baby goodbye before they quietly went out the door?
He had done all those things at their age.
With Vivi at his side, he could do anything back then.
She had made BUD/S easier to tolerate. Her encouragement, as much as that of his teammates, helped him pass the rigorous training.
And she had done it all while pregnant and teaching. She had been amazing.
Hell, she still was.
With his checklist in place, Evan parked the rental car in the garage and went straight to his bedroom. After kicking off his shoes, he crawled into the bed, allowing himself a forty-five-minute combat nap.
One hour later, showered, feeling completely refreshed, he dressed in the designated uniform of the day.
Striding up the steps to the headquarters building, he caught up to Ms. Merkel as she reached for the door. “Allow me.”
“What’s wrong?” She said when he opened the door.
“Not here.” Evan gestured for her to enter.
When she reached her desk in the empty office, she dropped her purse. Turning to him, she crossed her arms. “Now, tell me.”
“Kylie had the baby, the one I didn’t know about until last night around six.” He glanced away as he reined in all the sadness that overwhelmed him at the most unsuspecting times.
“Is there…is the baby okay?” Concern filled her silver-blue eyes.
He managed a small smile. “Ian is fine. Kylie…Kylie is dead.”
“What-the-fuck?” boomed the familiar voice from behind them.
Evan came to attention. “Sir, may I have a few minutes of your time?”
Vice Admiral Maddox pointed to his office. “Now.”
“Is Genevieve at home?” Ms. Merkel called to his back.
“Yes.” Then Evan warned, “You may want to wait for a little while. I’m hoping she’s asleep. We didn’t get home until after five.”
As soon as the door closed behind him, the vice admiral pointed to the seats in front of his desk. To his surprise, his mentor took the one next to him, turning the chair so he could face him.
“What the hell happened last night? I got a text from your aide canceling drinks. He said he was at the hospital with you.”
Where to start? So much had happened in the past twelve hours. Evan recounted the highlights, sharing in the birth of his grandson, then the lowest point of his life, when Genevieve told him their daughter was dead.
“What can I do to help?” His mentor’s words didn’t say condolences, but they didn’t have to. He was a man of action. “Beyond giving you a week of bereavement leave.”
“Thank you. I might be able?—”
“Evan, you were there for me and stepped up when Carol passed away.” Pain still glinted in the older man’s eyes.
“Let me repay the favor. I’ve been handling my job as well as that of commanding officer of Group 1 for nearly a month.
I can do it for another week while you handle… what’s going to happen to the baby?”
Grinning, and grimacing, at the same time, Evan announced, “Genevieve and I are petitioning the court for immediate custody. Know anyone over at the JAG office? Or someone with a pickup truck?”
His friend looked out the window at the rapidly filling parking lot. “I believe your aide has a pickup. If not, I’m sure he knows someone who does.”
Smiling, he continued, “I’m pretty sure I can help direct you to someone at the JAG office.
I’ve spent several hours with Captain Dupree who is the judge.
” Vice Admiral Maddox’s lips pulled into a straight line.
“That folder I shared with you yesterday? I went through it case-by-case with him. He helped me convince Captain Desmond that immediate retirement was an excellent idea. So, I guess you could say I have a good working relationship with him.” The vice admiral went behind his desk and made the call.
Three minutes later, as he exited his commanding officer’s office, Ms. Merkel stood from behind her desk. “I’ll call Genevieve around nine-thirty. In the meantime, is there anything I can do for you? Kylie wouldn’t allow her mother and me to give her a shower so I’m not sure what she has?—”
“I’m picking up Genevieve at ten and we’re going shopping.
” He chuckled. “We need everything.” He glanced away before returning his gaze to the secretary who knew everyone and everything.
“Could you do one thing for me, though, please? Could you get a hold of base housing and find out how soon my quarters will be ready.” As soon as he asked the question, he thought of something else she could do.
“Could you also check with transportation and find out when my furniture will arrive?”
She smiled back at him. “That’s two things. But I don’t mind. A call from this office is going to get attention much quicker than if your aide called.” She sat down and picked up the phone.
An hour later, with a huge smile on his face, Evan exited the JAG office.
He quickly texted a thanks to Vice Admiral Maddox.
Not only was the captain able to grant emergency custody of Ian to both Evan and Genevieve, but he also staved off Child Protective Services for two weeks.
They’d certainly have a room at Genevieve’s and arrangements made for Ian’s care by then, and very possibly, his grandson would have a room at his home as well.
Ms. Merkel had texted letting him know that his quarters were being repainted and his household goods should arrive in five days.
Lieutenant Commander Harrison did in fact have a pickup truck, which was available as soon as Evan returned to his office so they could exchange vehicles.
The plan was coming together.
After picking up Genevieve, they made a quick trip to the hospital, arriving just in time for feeding.
“Captain Hubbard, why don’t you feed little Ian this time?” Before he could protest, the nurse handed him his grandson, then held the rocker while he sat down. She readjusted the baby in the crook of his arm then shoved a bottle into his free hand. “There you go. Perfect.”
Even though it had been twenty years since he’d held his daughter this way, it quickly came back to him. Ian started to fall asleep, so he was ready to get up.
“Stay right there,” the nurse ordered. “Ian is a gassy one so you’re going to need to burp him several times.” She threw a small soft towel over his shoulder then helped move the baby into the correct position.
Evan thought the first belch was impressive—the third was worthy of a SEAL after drinking a six-pack of shitty beer. He started to fall asleep, his tiny breaths next to Evan’s ear.
“Thank you, sir. He should sleep now for at least an hour.” The nurse gently took his sleeping grandson from his hands and placed him in the bassinet.
Evan immediately felt empty when the seven pounds of infant was no longer in his arms. He suddenly felt as though Ian was no longer protected. Glancing around the well-equipped hospital nursery, he realized that was ridiculous. At that moment, he was in the best place possible.
“We have a lot of shopping to do to prepare his room,” Genevieve explained. “We’ll try to get back in a few hours. Hopefully, he’ll be awake again then.”
Situated back in the car, Genevieve placed her hand on his forearm. “Thank you for helping with Ian. I have to admit, when you offered, I figured it would be just like before; broken promises with me left to take care of the baby by myself. Thank you.”
She squeezed his arm before she let go.
Had he really been that big of a douchebag? How many times had he promised her something then wasn’t able, or just didn’t, carry through? He made a silent promise to himself, and her, that he would be a better man this time. Starting now.
He grinned regretfully. “I don’t remember doing this when we had Kylie.”
Genevieve’s grin mirrored his. “You didn’t. Mom and Dad went with me when they came out to visit. Mom and I decorated the room with purple curtains and wall decorations while Dad put the crib together. The room was pretty well set-up by the time you got home that night.”
“I’m sorry.” He seemed to be saying that to her constantly.
He was sorry about many things, but moving to the East Coast had been perfect for his career.
Then, and still, he was disappointed that Genevieve hadn’t gone with him.
She could’ve found a teaching job in Virginia and the three of them would have stayed together.
Instead, Evan had left alone. He’d excelled in his commands and had been promoted quickly. He was still amazed that he’d been assigned command of Group 1. A position he had yet to claim.
Although thankful to Vice Admiral Maddox for the time off to handle his personal situation, Evan was anxious to take command.
He knew what he was doing at work. Shopping for baby shit was all new to him, but he’d handle it.
He had to. Ian was fifty-percent his responsibility.
He pulled out of the hospital lot and headed south.