Chapter 8
Genevieve glanced at her ex-husband as he merged onto Interstate five. He’d looked so domesticated feeding the baby. Memories of Evan feeding Kylie like that had flooded her heart, immediately followed by spears of pain. Their daughter was gone, but she’d left them her baby.
As they zipped down the interstate, she was curious as to where he was going to buy baby things. When he turned toward the largest naval station on the West Coast, she had to grin. He was headed to the base exchange. Not a bad choice, since they carried higher-end products at good prices.
As they entered the doors, Evan looked at her. “Lead the way. I have no idea where to find the baby section.”
When their eyes met, she shrugged. “I don’t know either. I haven’t been here since we got divorced. For the few things Kylie ever wanted, we were able to pick them up at the small exchange on Coronado.”
“What about the big stuff?” He truly looked confused. “Didn’t you come over here?”
Genevieve raised an eyebrow. “I lost all base privileges with the divorce.”
He had the decency to look contrite. “I didn’t realize. I’d made sure with base legal that Kylie would maintain a dependent ID card until she was out of college.” He didn’t have to say that he’d looked after their daughter but not his ex-wife.
Scanning the signs hanging from the ceiling, she found the baby department. She grabbed the cart then pushed a second toward him. “This way.”
They came across the diaper aisle first. Genevieve stopped and scanned. “Wow. There are so many more choices than when Kylie was little.”
Evan reached over and grabbed a package and dropped it into his cart.
Giggling, Genevieve picked it up and put it back on the shelf. “These are for toddlers.” She pointed to the weight range. “Ian won’t be this big for probably two years.”
As his gaze swept up and down the aisle, he asked the important question, “How much does he weigh?”
She pointed to the section for newborns.
Again, Evan grabbed a random box and practically threw it in the cart.
Shaking her head, she picked up the box of preemie diapers. “These are for tiny babies. Ian weighs about seven pounds.” She found the correct size for their grandson and put three boxes into her cart. “This should last for a week or two.”
When Evan’s jaw started to drop, Genevieve had to hold her laugh. “All babies do for the first few months is eat, pee, and poop, and not necessarily in that order. Oh, yeah, they also sleep, and before you ask, yes, they pee and poop in their sleep.”
“Oh, shit,” Evan said above a whisper.
A woman down the aisle giggled. “Yep. There’ll be lots of that.” She turned to them with a smile. “Shopping for your grandchild?”
Genevieve gave the girl a broad smile. Damn, she looked to be in her very early twenties. But that was the same age when she’d given birth to Kylie. “Yes, we are.” She gestured to the entire department. “I haven’t had to do any of this in twenty years. It looks like a lot has changed.”
The young woman had a toddler swinging her feet in the front of the cart and an infant in some kind of sash draped across her shoulder and around her waist. “Your daughter, or daughter-in-law, is going to appreciate all those diapers. This one used to go through a dozen a day,” she said, pointing to the little girl who looked to be about two years old.
Out of the corner of her eye, Genevieve watched Evan quickly add the diapers to each shopping cart. “We’re going to need more.”
Both women laughed.
“Evan, we can come back.” She laid her hand on his forearm. “The exchange on Coronado carries diapers.”
His serious eyes met hers. “Are you sure? We can stock up now.”
“I’m sure. Besides, there’s a lot more that needs to go in the back of that pickup truck. We need to get a crib, changing table, a dresser, and so much more.”
“Yeah. With two cribs, two changing tables, two dressers, it’s going to fill up quick.” His words had been casual, but they’d hit Genevieve like a jab to the heart.
Not sure she understood, she asked, “Are you planning to set up a nursery at your house?”
“Of course.” His tone sounded as though she’d asked a stupid question. “We share custody of Ian so that means he’s going to be at my house fifty percent of the time. I need a place for him, so we need duplicates of everything.”
The young mother unabashedly stared at Evan. “The baby is yours?”
“No.” Genevieve popped in.
“Yes,” Evan said with authority.
Genevieve looked at him knowing that he had misunderstood the question.
She laid her hand on Evan’s arm. “We share joint custody of our grandson. Our daughter…” She couldn’t say it.
She couldn’t say any words, least of all the ones she needed.
Her throat completely closed. Tears flowed down her face.
Evan moved and enveloped her into his arms, pulling her head to his shoulder, hiding her face.
“Our daughter…” His whole body tensed. She could hear the air passing into his lungs as he inhaled deeply then exhaled in a huff. “She passed away last night after giving birth to our grandson. We appreciate your input. As Vivi said, it’s been twenty years since these decisions had to be made.”
He’d called her Vivi while holding her tight in his arms. More tears poured from her as the grief of losing him years ago piled onto the sorrow and heartache of losing Kylie mere hours ago.
She couldn’t stop crying. If she were honest with herself, in all the years since their divorce, she’d never gotten over losing Evan.
Would she ever recover from losing Kylie?
Genevieve wasn’t sure how long she’d stood there and cried. She felt a small soft hand rub up and down her back. “I’m so sorry if I said something that disturbed you. I can’t imagine what you’re going through. Sir, can I help the two of you shop?”
“I’ll be happy to help, too,” came another female voice.
“Ma’am, sir, I’m so sorry for your loss. Will you let me help you find what you need for your grandson?” It was another woman’s voice.
Genevieve took a deep breath and wiped her tears. She looked up at Evan. “I’m so sorry I’m causing a scene,” she said so low that only he could hear.
“I don’t give a shit. Cry all you need.” He kissed her on the forehead.
Rolling her lips between her teeth she fought back the next wave of sorrow. Evan had kissed her for the first time in nearly a decade. Grief for the years he had lost with his daughter that he could never make up made her tremble.
She should have gone with him when the Navy ordered him to take a command with Group 2 Navy SEALs. She’d been so selfish, not wanting to leave her job, that she had denied Evan and Kylie…and herself…all those years together.
And for what?
Nine years of living without Evan’s kisses.
Nine years of listening to Kylie’s end of their phone calls.
Nine years of bad dates.
Nine years of working for a school system that would replace her in a heartbeat. She loved teaching, though, and hadn’t wanted to give it up. Instead, she’d given up the man who was holding her.
Genevieve looked up into his eyes and saw questions. “I’m okay, now.” She kissed his cheek before she stepped back.
Well, damn. A group of young mothers had surrounded them, whispering their story to each new arrival.
She managed a small smile and a nod of her head.
“Thank you. It’s been a while.” Her smile grew as she looked at the babies.
Those mothers had much more experience than she did using new inventions and technology.
Evan rubbed his hand up and down her back.
“I’m going to step over to that aisle and look at car seats.
” He smiled at the women surrounding them.
“Ladies, I’m sure you can help Vivi much better than I can.
” He pushed his cart away. He stopped in front of the plastic ducks and other animals, plucking a frog off the shelf and tossing it into his basket.
She inwardly prepared for returning her attention to the young women.
For a moment, Genevieve wondered why so many mothers were in the store. Then it struck her—it was the middle of the month, a payday weekend. She remembered those days when they had lived paycheck to paycheck.
“I truly appreciate your advice, but I don’t want to keep you from your other shopping,” she told the group.
Several came up to her and expressed their condolences and wished her luck with the newborn. A few others shopped with her for a few minutes before their babies became fussy and they excused themselves. Within fifteen minutes, her cart was nearly full with doubles of everything and she was alone.
Turning down the car seat aisle she found Evan staring at his phone. She prayed he hadn’t been called into the office. “Is everything all right?” She glanced at his nearly empty cart.
He gestured to the line-up of baby seats.
“Every one of these has bad reviews and good ones. I looked them up on that national consumer reporting agency— and those sons of bitches made me pay for a year’s subscription—but what they say is this is the better one.
Then I went back to my original search engine and found that this one and this one have higher customer ratings. ”
Genevieve broke out into laughter. “Ev, it’s the Internet, you can’t believe everything you read.” She reached into the pocket in front of the one suggested by the consumer agency and withdrew two cards. “These work for me. Besides, they pop out and become a baby carrier.”
“I read that,” he defended her choice. “That sounded like a brilliant idea.”
As they turned around, a man carrying a very small baby in a pouch against his chest walked by.
Evan watched him carefully, then turned to look at the aisle behind him.
He picked up each one of the baby packs, examining them thoroughly, and finally selected one that could be used later as a backpack with space to carry essentials like a few diapers, a changing pad, and side pockets for bottles.
She could easily see him carrying Ian in the pack.
Genevieve found a navy-blue diaper bag that would be perfect.
Together, they turned the corner and discovered baby food, small children’s utensils, plastic plates adorned with everything from princesses to superheroes, and formula at the far end. Ignoring everything in between, Genevieve headed to the cans of dry formula.
After examining several, she took the advice of one of the mothers who had previously helped her. Scanning for Evan, she found him studying the contents of baby food.
“Ian won’t be ready for solids for several months, and he needs to start with things like rice and oatmeal.” At least that hadn’t changed according to the young women.
Minutes later, they were both staring at a huge display of pacifiers.
Fortunately, one of the women from earlier passed by and offered her opinion.
She also pointed out the short string connectors, so the pacifier didn’t fall on the floor.
Pure genius. Genevieve couldn’t count the number of times that Kylie had spit out her pacifier and they either couldn’t find it, or they rushed into a bathroom to run it under hot water before sticking it back into her crying mouth.
Then the young mother made a suggestion for bottles as well.
Genevieve looked up and down the aisle for sterilizer and finally asked their helper.
The woman looked dumbstruck. “Ma’am, you just put them in the dishwasher.”
“They don’t melt?” The words popped out of Genevieve’s mouth before she could stop herself.
“No, ma’am.” She gave them a quick smile.
“Sorry, but I’ve got to run. My husband gets off work soon and I have to pick him up.
Have a good day.” She waved goodbye and it struck Genevieve once again how fortunate she’d been at the young woman’s age.
With her teaching salary and Evan a Navy officer, even with a baby they could afford two vehicles.
They had truly been blessed, and she just hadn’t realized it.
Then she’d gone and fucked that up.