33. Hannah Jane
33
HANNAH JANE
“ O uch!” I squealed, lying on clean bedding as Melissa picked at the knots in my hair with the end of a comb.
Take a shower and do your laundry , they demanded. I complied, only to be betrayed with follicle torture.
“I told you I have detangling spray!”
“Yep, we tried that, and it didn’t work because the back of your head looks like a bird’s nest. Besides, you said no to WD-40,” she said as she casually ripped each individual strand of hair from my scalp. I’d be lucky if I made it out with only a handful of bald patches.
I groaned. “Yeah, I’m kind of opposed to spraying industrial lubricant in my hair.”
“Oh, good! She’s out of the shower!” Bridget said as she entered the room. “Maddie’s almost done making dinner.”
It was dinner time? I thought I still had a few hours before lunch… My sleep cycle was all cattywampus. I pawed around for my phone to check the time, but Bridget snatched it away.
“Nope. No phone for you. We’re doing a cleanse,” Bridget declared .
I wrinkled my nose. “For the love of God, please don’t make me drink green juice that’ll make me shit for a week.”
Bridget shook her head. “Not that kind of a cleanse. Maddie and I are going to go through your phone and get rid of all traces of Isaac Lawson. Pictures, texts—all of it.”
I shot off the bed with Mel’s comb still lodged in my hair. “You will do no such thing, Bridget McGrath.”
Bee grinned like the Joker and held my phone just out of reach. “Oooooh, what are we gonna find on here?” She was giddy.
“My bare ass and tits, that’s what,” I clipped. The girls of the poker club were closer than family. They could deal with the knowledge of my sexy texting.
Bridget waved it off. “Ain’t nothin’ we haven’t seen before, but good for you, babe! Growing up and getting kinky.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Supper’s ready!” Maddie hollered from downstairs. I tightened my robe as Bee and Mel escorted me down. Did they think I was gonna make a run for it?
The four of us sat on bar stools around the kitchen island as Maddie dished up something home cooked and delicious. It looked somewhat healthy. Well, there were greens involved. But knowing her, she probably cooked them with a pound of butter, bacon fat, and a handful of salt.
The three of them cracked into a bottle of wine while I was given water. Buzzkills.
I grabbed Maddie’s glass and sucked it down in one gulp.
“Hey!” she protested.
“Nope,” Mel snapped, grabbing the glass from me. “No more wine for you. You need to hydrate.”
“My liver can handle what my heart can’t,” I said as I reached for the bottle.
Bridget smacked my hand away. “As poetic as that is, drink the damn water before we tell you our master plan. ”
I pouted and picked through my plate. It was good—I just didn’t have an appetite. “Did you tell Luca?” I asked Maddie.
“No shit, Sherlock,” she said with a mouthful of chicken and pastry. “I even sent pictures. He offered to pay for a cleaning service.”
I groaned and rested my forehead on the cool countertop. “I know the whole marriage thing means that y’all get to tell each other everything. But now he’s gonna tell Isaac that I’m weepy and pining for him and look like shit.”
“Nope,” she said, popping the “P”. “Luca will keep his trap shut," Maddie took a long drink of wine. “He’s leaving for Texas in a couple days to check on things at the Griffith Brothers Ranch. Plus, I think Isaac’s out of the country.”
Yeah. London. And after that, he’d be back in New York for a few days before flying to Tokyo. I hated that I knew all those things.
“Besides,” she added. “Isaac probably looks like shit too.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Thanks for agreeing that I look like shit.”
Mel laid a compassionate hand on my arm. “We love you, but… Yikes. Han, I didn’t even know you owned a t-shirt, much less a Han Solo and Chewbacca t-shirt…” She shook her head. “I can’t unsee that.”
It was the only thing in my closet that didn’t make me think of Isaac. I may have looked like Sasquatch in a t-shirt and leggings, but at least they didn’t have any connection to him.
It was that or go naked.
Fuck. I’d have to throw out my entire drawer of toys. Even those infuriating vibrating panties that I ended up using more than once—w ith him in the same room controlling them.
I couldn’t open the drawer without thinking of the day he texted me before I left for work, telling me to put my purple dildo in my bag. Then, he gave me explicit instructions detailing how he wanted me to use it while sitting in my desk chair .
I want your skirt pushed up to your waist. If you’re wearing panties, I expect them to be down around the middle of your thighs. I want you to keep one foot on the ground and put one foot on top of your desk. Show me how you make that pretty pussy feel good. Show me where you want my cock when I see you next.
I want you to arch your back and push your tits out, but do not touch them. Don’t touch your clit. I want to see you thrust that purple dildo deep inside. Make your pussy clench around it.
You have to send me ten pictures before you’re allowed to come. Understood, Princess?
And boy, did I agree. Happily.
Now, I just wanted to flog myself for being so incredibly ignorant. Isaac still had all of those photos. Would he delete them? Would he show them around and laugh with his friends about that girl he dated once upon a time?
Fear and heartbreak boiled inside. My appetite vanished.
“Hey,” Bridget said softly. “Where’d you go?”
I sighed and pushed my plate away. I didn’t want company. I wanted to sleep for another twelve hours before I had to put on my game face and go back to work tomorrow. Back to the place we hooked up after Maddie and Luca’s wedding.
Champagne no longer tasted like celebrations and happy memories. It tasted like Isaac Lawson.
It would be easier to sell my house and move out of the state than to try and erase Isaac from Beaufort. He never said it in so many words, but I knew he didn’t really like it here. Still, he left his mark.
We didn’t have the amenities of a big city. Hell, we didn’t even have a Target. He looked at Jokers like it was a dirty redneck honky-tonk. He never showed an interest in getting acquainted with the coast. It was always: land his private jet at the airstrip, crash at my house, sex, and eat. Wash, rinse, repeat .
I loved Beaufort with all my heart. Before he took a wrecking ball to things, I seriously contemplated how I would feel about moving away. It wasn’t my first choice, but wasn’t making sacrifices a rather compulsory part of loving someone?
“Hannah Jane Hayes,” Maddie said, waving her hand in front of my face.
“Sorry,” I said, easing off the barstool. “I really appreciate y’all coming over and doing all this, but I think I’m just gonna get a good night’s sleep.”
Mel raised an eyebrow. “I will pin you down and shove that food down your throat myself. Sit. Eat.”
Out of everyone, I had no doubts that Mel would do it. She was all muscle mixed with a unique brand of ornery military brat.
“Y’all, I’m just… I need time, okay? I’ll be fine. I won’t slack off on hygiene again. I promise.”
Bridget, Mel, and Maddie looked at each other and pondered my offer. I felt like I was waiting for a jury to hand down a decision.
Mel shook her head. “Nope. The plan stays as is. You’re gonna eat your damn supper, and you’re gonna like it.”
I knew there was no room for arguing. “Yes, ma’am,” I mumbled, shoving a bite of chicken and pastry into my mouth.
Bridget gave me a patronizing pat on the head. “Good girl. Now eat up, and you’ll get a reward.”
God, I hoped it was alcohol.
My reward wasn’t alcohol.
Melissa grabbed the pillows from the guest room and the four of us piled into my bed to watch The Devil Wears Prada. If anything could make me feel better, it was Stanley Tucci and Meryl Streep.
There was a knock at the door as soon as the movie came on. I was about to pitch a fit, but Maddie said it was for her and ran downstairs. She was only gone a minute, but I heard the muffled sound of a conversation with Luca.
When she came back upstairs, I raised a curious eyebrow. Maddie crawled under the covers with us and passed the popcorn. “He’s going out of town.” The explanation was suspiciously short.
“I thought you said he wasn’t leaving to go to Texas for a few more days?” I asked.
Maddie tossed a kernel of popcorn into her mouth. “Last minute trip to New York.”
The movie started, but as much as I loved watching Ann Hathaway’s glow-up, I couldn’t focus. “You wanna stay over here tonight?” I whispered to Bee. I didn’t know where things stood with Kyle Kingsley. One minute she was asking to crash at my place because she needed some space, and the next, they were back together.
She shook her head and tapped her phone. The screen was full of text messages from him. She flipped it upside down. “Nah, Kyle’s gonna pick me up in a little bit. Thanks, though.”
I raised an eyebrow. “You sure?”
She nodded and grabbed a handful of popcorn. Okay, then.
I never understood why people painted Miranda Priestly as the devil. Just because she was an accomplished, driven woman with high expectations didn’t make her a bitch. Put a man in a suit in her position, and people will call him a tycoon. They’ll never say he’s being difficult or has unrealistic expectations.
I was no Miranda Priestly, but I had been called a bitch more than a few times—usually by new hires with poor work ethics. I just let it roll off my back.
What I couldn’t shake was the way Isaac watched me when I dropped by the inn to double-check floor plans and lay out a place setting. The way he let me use him as a footrest while I put together event binders and day-of event timelines for each one of my couples. He would sit on the couch with me, pull my legs across his lap, and work quietly on his tablet while I double-checked rental invoices.
Isaac never asked me to be anything other than Hell Yes Ma’am. I hated and loved him for it. It would have been easier to let him go if he didn’t love me for who I was—flaws and all.
All my life, I had been told I was too much. That I needed to be realistic and stop expecting so damn much of everyone around me. That I’d be single for the rest of my life if I didn’t get real and stop waiting for prince charming and his white horse to ride up.
But was it really my responsibility to stop being too much? To stop taking up so much space? To make myself small?
I wasn’t intimidating; others were intimidated. It wasn’t on me if others were uncomfortable when I was assertive. Being assertive doesn’t make a woman a bitch. It makes her confident.
I didn’t have a clue when I was going to be ready to move on from the magic I had with Isaac, but one thing was for certain. I would not settle for someone who expected me to dim my light so that theirs could shine brighter.
I could at least thank Isaac for never asking me to do that. He was never threatened by me. He simply cheered me on.
I hated this.
It wasn’t that Isaac and I didn’t love each other. It was that love—apparently—wasn’t enough. Not when two people had opposing goals.
Bridget left before the movie ended. Kyle didn’t even come to the door. She grabbed her bag and scurried out the moment he honked the horn.
Asshole.
Mel bounced out after that. She had to be on shift at the hospital in just a few hours. I was grateful that I had friends who were willing to drop everything to make me shower, eat, and turn back into something resembling a human.
Maddie rinsed out the popcorn bowl at the kitchen sink while I wiped down the countertops. “How are you really doing?” she asked when all was quiet .
I shrugged. “I don’t even know. I mean… It came out of nowhere. Things were great—better than great. Then I overheard him tell my dad that he was never going to get married. When we got back here, I confronted him about it, and he said the same thing.”
“Has he told you why?”
I shook my head. “Just that he doesn’t want it. I don’t think a reason would change the fact that I don’t want to settle for less than what I’m worth.”
She shrugged. “Maybe not, but don’t you think it would give you some closure?”
“The road might be different, but the destination is the same.”
She smiled softly and rested her elbows on the kitchen island. “You really thought he was the one, didn’t you?”
I nodded. “Yeah,” I choked out and then laughed. “And the irony of it all is that he was the complete opposite of everything I thought I wanted.” We settled on the couch. “It was just supposed to be a one-night stand,” I said, yanking down a blanket and snuggling up with it. “But when you called from your honeymoon and asked me to check on your house… It was him. He got stuck here because of the hurricane, so I let him crash at my place.”
“Damn, girl!” She laughed. “You move fast!”
“It wasn’t like that at all,” I said. “You know me. I catch feelings faster than a healthy kid at a chickenpox party. I wanted to kill him during your wedding, and then after I wanted to?—”
“Fuck him?” Maddie tossed her long hair over her shoulder. “You’re preaching to the choir. I felt that way about Luca in the beginning.”
“But Luca’s like—the perfect man.”
“There is no such thing,” she said. “Luca’s a workaholic. I wish he didn’t travel so much. We rarely have downtime just to be married. All we ever talk about is work. I love him more than I’ve ever loved anyone, but it's not all roses and sunshine after you get the ring, babe. Things don’t just magically fall into place. If you aren’t happy with someone before the white dress, you aren’t going to be happy afterward.”
I picked at the hem of the blanket, twisting two braided tassels together. “I was happy,” I admitted.
Maddie and I sat in silence for a while. It was comforting.
I knew I needed to get some sleep before work the next day but upstairs was so far away. Maybe I’d just sleep on the couch.
“You know what I think?” Maddie said out of the blue.
“Hmm?” I yawned.
She pulled her feet off the floor and perched on her knees like a child. “Okay, hear me out.”
“You say that when you know I’ll say no.”
She put her palms out and gave me a look.
“Fine,” I huffed. “What do you think, Mrs. DeRossi?”
“I think you need to let me set you up on a date.”
“Mads,” I groaned. “I literally just got dumped. Don’t I get the customary relationship bereavement period before you turn me out again?”
She shook her head. “That’s why I said hear me out. You just told me that Isaac was the opposite of what you wanted, right?”
I conceded with a nod.
“I have the perfect guy in mind. He literally checks all your boxes. Let me see if he’s interested, and I’ll set y’all up on a blind date.”
“Because manipulating Isaac and me into hooking up worked out so well,” I said sarcastically. “Maybe just take the win with Steve and Erica.”
She patted herself on the back for that one.
“Maddie, I can’t even think about dating right now.”
She shook her head. “It wouldn’t be dating. Just one date. He’ll be everything you think you want. It’ll either confirm that you’re right about what you want, or it will tell you to expand your horizons.”
“If he lives in Beaufort and checks all my boxes, I’ve already been out with him,” I argued.
She grinned like a mad scientist and tapped her fingertips together. “Trust me. You haven’t been out with this one.”