Chapter Fourteen #2
He had the most beautiful lips, and I knew he could kiss well enough to take the strength from my legs, and set my heart thumping in my chest. I wondered, if that happened again, would he hear it?
I couldn’t of course, but when it pounded so hard, maybe it was audible to others.
It’d tell him just how he was making me feel, but I had a suspicion that he wasn’t the kind of man to read things like that, or take hints.
He needed things in black and white, and that was fine with me.
“Come to the class tomorrow, and learn the basics. It’s so much easier in person, but let me show you a few easy ones. This is hi, or hello,” I said, moving my hand to teach him the signal.
He watched my hands like a hawk, as I showed him a few others; goodbye, thank you, sorry, and he mirrored each one with something that looked very much like relief on his face.
“I’ll need that one a lot,” he said after he mastered the sign for ‘sorry’. I hadn’t seen any evidence of this self he described who messed things up. He’d been all the right things for me so far.
“This is going to be a little forward, so I’m going to teach you yes and no, and you can answer me with the sign, okay?”
He nodded, his brow creasing a little, looking suddenly nervous.
“This is yes,” I said, demonstrating the ‘nodding head’ gesture with my head and fist, “and this is no.” Again I signed as I spoke, and watched him practice.
“So, here’s my question,” I paused and he nodded, looking wary now, “If I wanted to stay over, would that be okay? Not for sex, because like I said, we need to build up to that. It’s just… I don’t want to go home.”
He was smiling, and trying so hard to fight it, that I felt my heart thud again. He signed yes, and tried again to fight the smile.
“You’re being very cute right now,” I said, smiling right back at him, watching his cheeks redden a little in response.
“I’m being a pussy, I know. Just… I didn’t think you’d want to stay. I thought I’d be running you home, but you wanna stay.” He turned to look around him, like he was seeing his lodgings through my eyes.
“It’s fine. I like it. It feels like going on an adventure.”
He took a deep breath as his eyes returned to mine. He signed yes once more. And again. Then, with a laugh, he did it again.
“You realise the toilet’s a fucking portable thing out there right now? And the shower?”
Oh. I glanced at the area in the corner that looked like an old fashioned wash basin, with soap and towels beside it.
“That’s where I freshen up in between. And brush my teeth,” he said when I looked at him again.
The logistics were starting to occur to me now, and although it still seemed like an adventure, I was starting to second guess my decision. Stag reached over and touched my hand, squeezing it lightly.
“I can still take you home if you like. If I had the funds right now, I’d get a room somewhere, offer you a better option than this.”
Maybe it was his words that settled things for me, or maybe it was the sincerity in his eyes as I looked up from his lips. He was so earnest, and sweet. So safe, there was definitely a feeling of safety here with him.
“Will you wait for me while I use the toilet?” He grinned, standing up beside the bed, and reaching for my hand.
Going to bed was a strange experience, with this man I only know a little, who had a bed that wasn’t quite a double, but was a little wider than a single.
He’d stripped down to his t-shirt and jeans, and I chose to stay dressed too, but when he lifted the covers for me to slide in, he reached for a rolled up sleeping bag instead.
“Wait. What are you doing?”
He gestured to the bed, a downright morose look on his face.
“Not big enough for two, and you don’t really know me. I’ll be fine down here. You’re safe.”
I caught his hand as he turned his head while speaking, for the first time so far, and I missed the words after ‘safe’.
“I missed that.”
His face dropped, and he looked like he’d been kicked.
“Fuck. I should probably learn how to sign that. I’m gonna say it a lot. I was just saying it’s where I belong.” His cheeks were red again.
“Why? I don’t want you down there. We can share.”
He shook his head, but I could see the longing in his eyes.
“Please. I’m in an unfamiliar place, and I can’t hear if there’s danger.
I need you close.” It was manipulation, pure and simple.
I could cope, of course I could, I had to all the time.
It wasn’t that kind of need. It was want, and a desperation for comfort, for feeling someone beside me, who was close enough to touch, close enough to press together on this small bed. I wanted that so much.
“Please, Stag.”
He sagged a little, his shoulders slumping as he set the sleeping bag down and lifted the covers, eyeing the small space he’d have to inhabit. He was a big guy, so I could see the doubt in his eyes that we’d fit at all.
“I can always sleep on you,” I joked, my smile dropping the instant he shot horrified eyes in my direction. That was a mixed signal if I’d ever had one.
“Or not.”
He shook his head, resting a knee on the bed and taking such a large breath I could see his chest rising as his lungs filled.
“You do that, and I’ll get a boner, for sure. It’s for your comfort, not mine.”
Oh. He blushed again and I wanted to hold him, because he was surprisingly shy in this moment where most men would be trying to push for more than I wanted to give.
“It’s okay if you touch me,” I said as he tried to slide into the bed without even brushing against me.
He moved away from me a touch and the whole bed jerked as he almost tipped out of it.
Despite everything I started to giggle, and when he regained his balance, he rolled onto his side facing me. His lips were turned up in a smile.
“It’s funny to you that I nearly landed on my head?”
I shrugged the shoulder I wasn’t currently lying on.
“I mean, at least it wasn’t the other head, right?”
His grin grew wider, and he rubbed his face against the pillow, finding a better angle for his comfort.
“You’re way cooler than most women. Do you even know that?”
I sighed, suddenly wanting to go against everything I’d said about taking things slow.
“We should get some sleep.”
His smile faded and he nodded.
“Wake me if you need the toilet or something. I’ll go with you.”
I appreciated that more than he could ever know. For now though…
“Any chance of a goodnight kiss?”
His eyes widened and he slipped his hand from under the covers, resting it on my shoulder, the heat leaching into my skin like an added layer of comfort and protection.
“Really?”
I smiled, wriggling a little closer to him, knocking my knee against his lightly.
“Please.”
He leaned closer, his hand moving up to cup my cheek as his lips touched mine.
It was a soft, sweet, chaste kind of kiss.
The kind of kiss you’d get from a teenage boy.
So much about him was youthful and vulnerable, and so different from the outward persona he showed others. Everyone but me, it seemed.
I teased his lips with my tongue, the minty toothpaste I’d rubbed over my teeth with my finger met by a similarly minty tongue as he suddenly deepened the kiss and gave me what I wanted.
A toe-curler of a kiss. A panty-melter. A swoony kiss that made me want to throw all of my inhibitions aside, and climb on top of him.
All too soon it was over, and he was pulling back, his eyes smiling softly as his lips joined them.
“Night, love. Hey, at least if I snore, you won’t care.”