Chapter Seventeen
Henley and Glory left a few hours after they helped us get settled in.
I had the code for the external door, and the one for the garage, both different, and a third one for the door between the garage and the damn house.
The guy was security obsessed, but it was a relief, because it meant that the crazy bitchtwin couldn’t get in here, even if she’d tracked Claudia to this address.
It pissed me off beyond measure that she’d been tracking her sister like that. It wasn’t a guess anymore. It was fact. It took Grease exactly five minutes to find two tracking apps on the phone. Two.
Claudia was quiet, too quiet, like she was sinking into a fucking cloud of despair, and I had no idea how to help her.
I’m the prick who doesn’t connect with people in the right ways.
The one who always upsets people, even when I’m trying to be nice.
How the hell do I cheer up a woman who looks like she lost everything?
She lost the other half of herself, technically, so, how the hell do I fix that?
She was trying to hide how much she was hurting, so I made tea, and sat with her to watch a movie, which I’d seen many times before, and it turns out, she’d seen it too. Not that it’s a surprise, it’s a great fucking movie.
“Why are we watching it again? You could watch something different?”
She offered me a small smile, pointing at the TV as she spoke. “Subtitles. If I read those, I miss a lot of the actual film, or if I watch the film, I can only read lips if they’re facing toward the camera, so I usually watch things at least twice, so I get the full experience.”
I guess that made sense, however…
“This is The Princess Bride. You’ve only seen it twice? Inconceivable!” How the hell was that even possible?
She rolled her eyes at me, actually rolled her fucking eyes. How cute was that?
“Duh, I’ve seen it about fifty times, but I was just explaining why I usually do it. This one’s a classic. Show me a person who hasn’t seen it at least twice as many times as they’ve had birthdays.”
She had me there. It was my favourite, my comfort film that I went back to time and time again.
I think there was something about seeing the hero being mistaken for the bad guy, and then proving himself, that spoke to me.
I could be that guy. Not hot or sexy in a fucking mask, like most women seemed to like, but someone who could be redeemed, or proven not to be the bad guy he first appeared to be.
I had layers, I’m sure I did. I just needed someone to care enough to see that.
We snuggled together to watch the movie, but you know the trouble with that?
She was so close, pressed tight against me, her hair tickling my nose as I breathed, and filling my senses with her scent, her warmth, the softness of her breast pressed against me, it was all like a fucking assault on my self control.
It was like waving a red flag at a bull.
Did I want her? Fucking right, but I didn’t know how to even approach that with her.
It wasn’t like hitting on a woman in a club.
That rarely worked anyway, but at least we both were on the same page, or opposite pages, more often than not.
This woman was in my arms, actively snuggled with me, staying in the same place as me, spent the night with me, and yet I had no idea how to approach things.
I wanted to kiss her again. I wanted to touch her, to taste her, to do all the things we’d enjoy, but she needed my emotional support, and I couldn’t betray her trust like that.
She hadn’t made any advances herself, just seemed to be looking for friendship, so I had to try and maintain my fucking senses around her.
She moved, trying to tuck her legs under her, and nearly elbowed my junk as she moved. I practically jumped out of my skin, a reaction I couldn’t hide as easily as my words.
“Oh shit!” Yeah, oh shit. I was half fucking hard already and she could have discovered that if she’d actually touched him, not to mention the fact that he’d probably go off if she touched him.
It was her. She’d been in my mind, my thoughts, my dreams, and hell, I was starting to think she was in my heart now too.
If she touched me, I’d lose my fucking mind.
“I’m sorry, did I hurt you?” Her eyes were wide and earnest, and I had to bite back every one of those feral fucking urges that wanted me to move closer, to take her lips, to cup the back of her head, and angle her face so I could feel her tongue against mine again.
Fuck. It was almost impossible to hold back.
“Kiss me,” she said suddenly, and I froze for a second, because that meant she could see how desperate I was for her, and that was… it was something. Embarrassing? Shocking? Shameful?
“What, now?”
She giggled. “No, later. Yes, now!”
We both moved at the same time, and as our lips came together, I felt like there was finally peace inside my head, like the should I, shouldn’t I shit was suddenly just gone, and all I knew was that she was kissing me back, she was leaning closer, and I fucking needed this.
My hand cupped the back of her head like I’d fantasised, and I deepened the kiss, tasting her as she tasted me.
It ended as suddenly as it started though, when she lost her balance and did what she almost did moments before.
Her hand slipped off my thigh, and practically punched my dick.
“Fuck, fuck fuck fuck,” I hissed, cupping it as it throbbed with pain and somehow renewed need. Was I into that stuff? Pain. Fuck no, but it was her, and I knew I’d take anything she did to me. Apparently she took my balls when she kissed me too.
“I’m sorry, oh god, I’m so sorry!” She tried to reach for my junk too, and I shot her a panicked look, because I was barely holding on here, and the idea of her hand on me right now was sending a fucking alarm screaming in my head. Don’t let her touch him, not now!
I darted out of the way, standing up and groaning as I felt another throb and knew I had to get away.
I turned and legged it for the stairs, which was simultaneously uncomfortable, and embarrassing, because she watched me run from her like a pussy.
I’m a fucking pathetic piece of crap, and she knows it now.
I reached the bathroom and just leaned against the wall. I was fucked, this was how she’d realise I wasn’t good enough for her. I knew I couldn’t hide the perv inside me anymore. She could fucking see it.
Claudia
Imust have really hurt him! I ran after him, because I wanted to help. I didn’t mean to hit him, and now I was worried I’d done real damage. Was he running for the bathroom to check it? To see if I’d done harm to his probably favourite part of his body?
He was leaning against the wall at the top of the stairs, hands still cupped over him as his head rested back against the wall, and I could see his chest heaving with deep breaths.
Were they raspy breaths? Were they the sound of intense pain?
I’d heard of the kinds of injuries men could get down there, and I was starting to fear that I’d done exactly that to him.
“Do you need a doctor?” I asked, and his eyes flew open, red colouring his cheeks as he realised I was watching him.
“Jesus. Please don’t be here right now. Don’t see me being this fucking joke that I am.”
What? Did he just call himself a joke? I stepped closer, and he lifted a hand, warding me off, like I was a threat to his very safety.
“I won’t hurt it again, I promise. I’m clumsy, but I want to help. Do you need me to look at it?”
His eyes closed again and his head fell back, rocking side to side against the wall.
“I’m such a fucking pussy.”
“It’s okay. Pain is no joke.”
“It’s not pain,” he said in a rush, probably practically growling the words, as his eyes seemed to bore into mine with intensity.
“Then… what’s wrong?”
He dragged a hand over his face, his shoulders moving a little like he was laughing, was he laughing at me?
“Stag?”
“I’m horny, Jesus. I didn’t want to say it, but I don’t want you thinking you hurt me or something.
Sure, it stung for a moment, but you were right there, and you were kissing me, and touching me, and fuck…
” he drew the word out so it was more like ‘fuuuuuck’, almost too drawn out to recognise the word, but his expression was helping. He looked like he was about to lose it.
“Horny? For me?”
Another laugh, this one visible since his hands were covering him again.
“Yes, for you. Of course for you. Have you seen you?”
Had I seen me? Sure, I mean I hadn’t heard me in fucking years, but I knew what he was looking at.
Nondescript dark hair, dragged back from my face with a clip at one side, dark green eyes, average lashes, paler skin than actually suited my hair colour, and basic lips.
Just lips. What the hell was he seeing that I couldn’t?
“Wow, you don’t see it.”
He reached out to nudge my chin up, even though I was already looking at him.
“You’re fucking gorgeous. Sexy. Dangerously fucking hot. I’m around you, I’m hard. That’s a given. I’m trying not to be a dog, but you’re all I’ve been able to think about since that first night in the club, and… well, you touched my dick. Do the math. I’m like a fucking schoolboy right now.”
He was horny. He found me hot. How had we found each other? He was so sweet and sexy, and had a vulnerability about him that made me want to protect him just as much as he protected me.
“Show me,” I said finally, leaning against the opposite wall as his eyes widened at me, and he blinked slowly, sluggishly.
He looked like he’d never been told to get his dick out before, but I guess he just didn’t expect it from me.
Was I too pure to just ask for what I wanted?
Hell no, and the sooner he realised it the sooner he could give me what I realised I needed. Closeness. Intimacy. Comfort.
“What?” He finally asked, his hands covering him again, while he continued to look exactly like I’d rocked his impression of me.
“I want to see, Stag. Show me how hard you are.”
He laughed, looking more desperate by the second, his hands going up to grab his hair.
“This… what the fuck… You want me to just whip it out like it’s completely normal to do that?”
I smiled, hoping it looked encouraging and not lascivious, because I was definitely feeling aroused too now. The idea of this man being so awkward about showing me the part of him that countless women would have seen, touched, had their worlds rocked by. Why not show me?
“Do you think I’m not good enough for you? Is that what it is?”
His jaw dropped and his hands fell to his sides, while my eyes dropped to look at the area he was no longer covering.
His jeans definitely looked a little bulged out right now.
He was hard, and I was attracted to him, attracted enough that I moved away from the wall, approaching him in a few quick paces, as my hands lowered to the button on his jeans.
His hands instantly landed on mine, and when I lifted my head, he was staring at me in wonder, or horror. Maybe just shock. He clearly hadn’t expected me to be forward.
“What are you doing?” He asked, his fingers tightening on mine as he spoke.
“You don’t want me to see?”
“No! I mean, I don’t… I don’t know. What the hell is even happening right now?”
I tugged my hands out of his grip and backed up a step.
“Apparently what’s happening is you’re showing me that I’m here as your guest, your ward, or fucking pet, but not as a potential lover. My ears might not work, but the rest of me is normal, like everyone else. If you decide that’s enough for you, you know where to find me.”
I turned and stepped into the room Henley had given me, slamming the door as hot tears filled my eyes.
He’d rejected me. I’d put myself out there, and he’d stopped me.
He didn’t want me, which meant that he was doing this for another reason.
Was I just a charity case? Someone he’d been lumbered with, and didn’t know how to escape from?
I climbed onto the bed and curled up into a ball, letting the tears fall, as the silence swallowed me up, and he didn’t follow me.