Chapter Eighteen
What the fuck just happened? Why the hell did she just take my shock as some kind of rejection?
Was it? I didn’t think I was rejecting her, I was trying to figure out how she’d gone from being quiet and sad to trying to free my dick for her eyes.
I idly grabbed my phone from my pocket as it rang, and lifted it to my ear without checking who it was.
Probably Micro checking on us, or Henley making sure we hadn’t burned the place down yet, or found his secret sex den, which he just had to have. He was too fucking smooth not to.
“Yeah.”
“You moved,” an unwelcome voice pointed out, the brashness of his London accent making the hair on the back of my neck stand up.
“I what?”
On the upside, I’d found a cure for my agonising boner. Bennetts. They should just fucking market themselves as mood-killers.
“We keep an eye on our people, bruv. They move, it means something’s up. You’re in the posh guy’s house now.”
“Jesus, is there anything you don’t know? I might have agreed to work for you, but you don’t get to know everything in my fucking life.”
“Ooooh someone’s feeling pissy. Why the move, bruv? Is something happening that we need to know about?”
I groaned, heading downstairs to the sofa, because even though I couldn’t disturb her with this conversation, I had to sit the hell down. My legs were a little shaky, and not because of this bellend.
“A friend needed help, I’m staying here with her for a bit.”
The guy laughed. “Oh wow, you lost your v-card at last, bruv. How was it? You feel like a big boy now?”
I lost my shit, because you know what? Everything’s fucking going wrong, and I don’t care anymore.
“What the fuck is your problem? Why do you keep going on like I’m a fucking virgin?! I’ve been with women, okay? I’ve… what’s your beef?”
He chuckled again. “Ah, I see. Turned you down, did she? Don’t worry, bruv, you’ll pop your cherry sometime. So I’ll ask again, why the move to his place? Why not a hotel?”
What the hell was it to this fucker? They were so intrusive, butting into every aspect of my fucking life.
“You think I’m made of money? I can’t afford a fucking hotel! I can’t afford anything, I’m losing the job I’ve had for years, and I’m fucking broke!”
Low murmuring was my only response for a moment, and then his voice was aimed at me again.
“Are we not paying you enough, bruv? I think we’re pretty generous.”
The fuck? I set the phone on speaker and leaned my head back against the headrest. This entire fucking conversation was draining the last of my energy. Why wouldn’t he just fuck off? I needed to speak to Claudia. I needed her to know I wasn’t rejecting her, dammit.
“I’m sure, when you pay me, I’ll have some cash, but until then, I’m fucked.”
“Guess you haven’t checked your bank account, bruv. We’re straight. You did the job, and we fucking paid you. If that’s not enough, you can come and meet with us to discuss it.”
My head shot up. “Wait, what? You paid me? How the fuck did you pay me? You don’t have my details. I was thinking you’d pay in cash or something.”
The bastard laughed again. “Yeah, because we keep stacks of cash around for paying people. Bruv, we don’t need you to tell us your details, yeah?
Nige gets that info pretty fucking easily, and you’ve been paid.
So why don’t you say, thank you, boss, and get back to trying to shag your bird.
I can give you some pointers if you like.
I’d say kidnapping them works, but you already did that. ”
FUCKING HELL!
“Why won’t you fuck off and leave me alone? I appreciate whatever you paid, but I don’t think this is the time for this shit.”
“Maybe rub one out, bruv. You’re really on edge. We’ll have work for you again next week, so expect a message. Oh, and don’t put us on speaker again, this is business. We don’t want extra ears on our shit.”
I sighed heavily, because this at least was easy.
“She can’t hear you. She’s deaf.”
“I know, bruv.” The call ended, and I tossed the phone onto the sofa, resting my head back with a sigh, but a second later, I was sitting up again, the phone in my hand as I checked my bank account. What the actual fuck.
They’d paid me two and a half grand for one job.
I mean, sure, they made me kill and dismember a guy, but this money was a game changer.
Fuck. The account name they paid me from even looked legit.
Bennett Financial Services. Wow. Like they’re bankers, rather than wankers.
The fact that I was an accountant even leaned well into working for a business named like that.
I guess I work for them now, and for this kind of money, I could build a real future.
I could build a life for me and maybe for the woman upstairs that I just pushed away because I’m a pussy.
I had no idea why the Bennetts could sense what nobody else could, but it was time to be honest with her.
Hey, maybe she’d find it cute or something.
There was only one way to find out. I shoved the phone in my pocket and headed up the stairs.
It was only then that the chilling last words of that fucker hit me again.
‘I know’ he’d said. He knew she was deaf, which meant he knew who she was, which meant he knew fucking everything.
Maybe that big money wasn’t worth it after all.
What if I’d just put her at risk because of my stupid decisions?
Hell. Maybe the whole honesty thing should cover that too.
I was about to bare my soul for her, and give her everything I was hiding.
What were the chances she’d still want to be anywhere near me after this though?
Claudia
Idon’t know if he knocked or not, but I felt the bed move, and sat up with a jump. Stag was standing at the foot of the bed, a nervous look on his face. He looked as unsure of himself as I’d ever seen him.
“I’m sorry. I wasn’t rejecting you. I was freaking out. I need to tell you some stuff, and I wish I could sign it, although I’d probably fuck that up too. Secret number one, I always get this stuff wrong. Hell, maybe it’s not even a secret. I’m the biker most likely to offend. I’m a fucking mess.”
I gestured at the bed, and he sat down, crossing his jean clad legs so he could face me.
“Some of this stuff is embarrassing, and some of it’s downright scary. You might not want to be anywhere near me once you know these things, so uh…” he dug out his phone and tossed it to me.
“Oh, I added a passcode, because apparently I’m a dick for not locking my phone.
It’s 6969. Original, I know. If you want away from me, use speed dial one.
It’s Micro, the club pres. He’ll get people here fast. I’m not a threat to you, and I could never be, but that doesn’t mean you have to trust me. ”
My heart was starting to thunder in my chest, another inaudible thing so intense I could feel it. I rested a hand over my heart, and straightened the phone in front of me.
Stag waited until my eyes were on him again. “Test the code. Just so you know I’m keeping you safe.”
I sighed, swiping the screen and typing 6969. It opened up on a banking app which was also waiting for a passcode, but that just meant it’s what he used last. He was being truthful. I could get into the phone if needed to. I shoved it aside, and looked at him again.
“Tell me.”
He sighed, a heavy breath I could see him expelling as he sagged a little, his position of power becoming more and more diminished as he stared at me. I wished I could offer him comfort as he bared his soul, but he was so certain he was about to horrify me with these revelations.
“I’m an accountant. That’s boring, I know, but it’s what I do. I love numbers. I love the certainty of numbers. I uh… they’re laying people off. I’ve been there five years, but I’m expendable. I’m on the list for redundancy, so uh, I did something stupid, and I don’t know my way out of it now.”
Did he say he did something stupid? Did I just read that right?
“Something stupid?”
He nodded, his shoulders sagging even more, like the weight on them was increasing by the minute, like brick after brick was piling on as he spoke.
“I accidentally agreed to work for some fucking crazy bastards who think they own me now. The money’s great, but they seem to know everything, and they even know I’m here now instead, and they paid me without my details, and it’s freaking me out.”
“Wait, what? I don’t understand.” What was he trying to say? It was so confusing, but making me nervous.
“They know fucking everything, even stuff I’ve told nobody. It’s like they’re in my head, and I’m… I don’t know, like they can see shit nobody knows. They knew about me, and nobody else knows about me. It’s freaky.”
“What? What do they know? Am I in danger with you?” I reached for the phone and he nodded at the gesture, approving of my readiness to call for help, even though I had a feeling I never would.
“Feel free. I won’t stop you. I’ll want to, but I won’t.”
“Stag, I feel like you’re trying to tell me everything and telling me nothing instead.”
He dragged a hand through his hair, and ran his tongue over his lips.
“I’m saying I’m a fucking pathetic virgin, and they knew! I guess I can pretend I’m like everyone else, but they saw it. They know. And now so do you.” His eyes were wide, as if he just realised he’d told me something so private and, to him at least, humiliating.
“You’re a virgin?”
He did another of those deep breath sighs, and nodded, tugging at his hair again.
“Women don’t like me. It’s not like I don’t try, but I just can’t get women to even talk to me, and if they do, it’s usually to call me a dick and slap me.”
I moved up onto my knees, crawling closer to him, his vulnerability shining so brightly right now that I wanted to soothe him, to show him that it didn’t make me think less of him.
It was… well, kind of adorable, to be honest. He had this secret that he’d kept for however long, from his entire brotherhood, and he’d trusted me with it.
“It’s okay,” I said, and he rolled his eyes.
“Sure. So hot to be the one man nobody will fuck. You picked a dud, love. I’m nobody special. In fact, nobody’s ever seen me as special.”
“I do.”
He shook his head, but I moved close enough for my knees to touch his legs, and grabbed his chin, making him look at me. It was a dominant move I’d never made before in my life, but he was spiralling and I could help him. I knew I could, he just had to hear me.
“Stag, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s actually really special, beautiful even.”
“The fact that all women think I’m repugnant and won’t touch me with a ten foot bargepole? Yeah, I should put it on a fucking t-shirt, although those fuckers didn’t need me to. They knew. How the fuck did they know?”
I pressed my fingers over his lips.
“Shush.” The irony wasn’t lost on me. The fact that I had to silence a man I couldn’t even hear, but I wanted him to listen to me for the moment.
“Stag, I like you, and I don’t think less of you for this. In fact, I think it makes you even more sexy to me. You’d be all mine. You’d be with me first, you’d… you’d be just mine, do you see?”
He swallowed hard, something I saw in the way his neck flexed and his head nudged up a touch. He looked stunned, his mouth trying to open beneath my fingers.
“Don’t speak, just listen,” I said, moving my hand away from his mouth, surprised he hadn’t tried licking my fingers or something.
Most men would have. Most men would have done something, but he didn’t.
It was important. It meant he was looking at me as someone rather than the holes he could plunder, and exploit. He saw me.
“I want to be your first,” I said, nodding slowly as I spoke, like I was trying to surreptitiously encourage him to say yes.