Chapter Twenty-One
Ithink I freaked out a bit, and that makes me an even bigger pussy than the virgin thing.
Suddenly it all felt too intimate and real.
Suddenly it all felt like something huge, and it was, but I had no idea how she felt about it, so what it felt like most of all was me reading too much into what might just be a one off for her.
We hadn’t spent much time together, one evening, one meal, and now this night. Maybe I was just scratching an itch for her.
Jesus, keep overthinking shit, dickhead.
I dressed at the top of the stairs and headed down to the kitchen.
Fucking Henley’s got the sweetest place.
I knew he was posh, but I didn’t realise just how fucking rich he was, because this house?
This is big money shit. This is all the top of the range appliances, fucking granite counters, underfloor heating, the fucking works.
Plus I knew about the ‘man cave’ downstairs, with all the high quality tech and stuff.
How the other half lives, eh? There’s me, living in a single fucking room, or tent, and this is how he’s rolling.
And he was kind enough to let me stay here. That still blew my mind, because we didn’t connect the way he and Rocket did. Nobody really connects with me. I know that’s my problem, and not his, but he trusted me anyway.
I set the fancy coffee machine running, using the notes he’d left beside it, because he said ‘if I break it, I buy it’.
Hell. It probably cost more than a fucking year’s salary at this point.
Thinking about money put me right back at what the fuck do I do now?
I knew the redundancy ‘at risk’ thing was bullshit.
They knew who they were laying off, and I’d hardly been my best self there, had I?
Maybe the Bennetts really were my only option, but working for them was like signing up for ritualised abuse. Of course, maybe that’s what I deserved for being such a prick my whole life.
The coffee smelled amazing, so I prepped two mugs, even using the milk thing to steam the milk for them, and then I headed upstairs.
I had no idea if she took sugar, so I might have to run back down for some, but I wanted to get back to her.
I wanted to see if she’d already moved on, or if there was a chance she wanted more.
I’d give her anything she fucking wanted. Anything.
She wasn’t in the bedroom, so I set down the coffees and went searching for her.
Did I know she’d be in the shower? I mean, I’m kinda logical sometimes, so sure, I knew there was a chance, but did I imagine she’d have left the door unlocked for me?
Even open a touch, just to give me a chance to peer inside, and see her through the slightly fogged up glass door?
The curves on that sweet body of hers made me want to moan, I’d felt them.
I’d touched them. I wanted so much more.
I pushed the door open a touch more, and risked getting caught watching her, because this was the best show of my life.
This was the woman I was falling for, wet, soapy, arching her head back under the water, as the water droplets sluiced down her skin.
There were whole fogged up patches of the glass that I couldn’t see through, but the bits that were still clear?
I could see pale creamy skin, and water.
Soap suds sliding down. Her hands gliding over her skin.
“Stag?” Oh fuck. Busted.
My head shot up and I noticed she’d poked her head around the shower door.
“Sorry. Sorry. I’m such a perv. I’m going!” She shook her head as I started backing up.
“Join me, silly. We’ll be doing Henley a favour, and saving some water.”
Yeah, because I’m sure that fucker was hurting for bills money right now.
Still, you don’t look a gifthorse in the mouth, or a beautiful woman in the…
nope… whatever funny shit I was about to try and figure out was gone, because she stepped fully out of the spray and rested her hands on her hips, her head tilted at a sassy angle.
“Are you going to turn me down, Stag?”
Fuck no. I tossed my t-shirt on the floor, and started rushing the jeans and boxers off.
Fuck me. I’m about to get in the shower with a woman.
We’re both naked, and I’m hard as a fucking rock.
This stuff doesn’t happen to me. It happens to others, but never me.
I’ve somehow made it into heaven. Despite being an asshole, I’m being rewarded in my afterlife.
I must have died downstairs in that kitchen.
Or maybe last night in the bedroom. Whatever this is, I’m taking it. You don’t turn a lady down.
I stepped into the shower cubicle, the lightest spray of hot water hitting my skin as Claudia took one of my hands, and tugged me with her, under the fuller spray of water, until I was suddenly in the reach of a secondary shower head angled beneath the other.
Holy shit. I’d marvel at the amazing shower he had, but there was something fucking incredible going on here. Claudia took my hands, setting them palm up, then sprayed a dollop of fruity smelling product into them.
“Help me?” Holy fuck, I’m dying right now. This is all the stuff of my fucking dreams, but what was in my hands? Shampoo? Conditioner? Body wash of some kind?
Claudia giggled as I stared at it, tugging my hands closer and resting them against her shoulders, guiding them to start gliding over her skin, as the purple coloured soap slid down in colourful streams, and I moved in a rush to catch it and rub it into her flesh.
Fuck me. I’m showering her. I’m rubbing soap into her beautiful tits.
I didn’t mean to go straight there, but she wasn’t complaining, in fact, she was encouraging me, moaning and arching into my touch.
Every time I saw and heard her reactions to something I did, it made me feel like a king.
It made me feel like a god. It was powerful, knowing that I was making her feel so good.
It’s like finding what my life was for, and I know, that’s dramatic or whatever, but I’d waited too long to know how this stuff felt.
I knew it’d be good, but this good? Holy shit.
Her fingers suddenly wrapped around my cock, stroking it firmly as I ran my hands around her breasts, and skimmed her nipples. Sure, I was soaping just the one area, but my brain had stopped working right around the time she pressed my hands against her.
Every time her hand slid back down my cock, she managed to tease my balls, before she moved it back up again, and my legs were starting to tremble as her touch drove me dangerously close to coming.
This whole situation was like one long foreplay session, and nobody told my balls to be cool.
They wanted to get to the end game, and here I was, just enjoying the ride.
“Fuck, Claudia… you’re killing me here…”
Claudia
Isaw his lips moving but I missed the words, but from the expression on his face, I think I got the sentiment of it.
He was rocking his hips to meet my hand as I stroked him, and the tortured bliss on his face, the way his fingers flinched against my skin as he tried to keep his focus on soaping my skin.
I was already clean, this was purely for his enjoyment.
It seemed to me that he’d missed out on so much intimacy and fun, and I wanted him to experience everything.
“You’re close, aren’t you?” I asked, but it wasn’t really a question, because I could see and feel his reactions.
Not getting to hear how I’m making him feel doesn’t mean I’m missing out on those hints, because his chest is rising and falling so rapidly, his sharp breaths sending wisps of heated air at my chin as he practically sags in response to the way he’s trying to hold back from coming.
I can see the turmoil. I can feel how his hands keep trying to clench, but he’s doing his best not to hurt me.
I used my free hand and shoved one of his between my legs.
“Touch me too. I want you to slide your fingers inside me, Stag.”
“Holy Jesus fuck,” he said, the words looking like they were bitten out in frantic urgency, as his fingers eased inside me, and started to thrust, sliding over my clit by accident or design, sending little ripples of pleasure outward as he moved.
I wanted his cock inside me, but it felt like that wasn’t something we should rush to.
He had so much to enjoy for the first time, and even though it was edging the hell out of me, I wanted him to experience them at his own pace, and not mine.
I’m sure men in my situation would have been racing to the finish line to get theirs from a virgin, but for me, my pleasure was rooted in seeing the wonder and awe in his eyes as he tried new things with me.
“I’m close, Stag,” I gasped out, because suddenly out of nowhere, there it was, my orgasm hovering right at the cusp of my self control, my legs trembling, and my fingers faltering on his cock as I started to ride the wave.
Oh god. Pleasure was burning its way through me, my eyes fluttering closed as the ripples tingled every inch of me on their way.
“Oh goddddd,” I whimpered as my hips moved to ride Stag’s fingers, which had halted in place as he watched me go over. My eyes had popped open almost as soon as they closed, because without my eyes, I’d miss how he was feeling right now.
His eyes were wide and unblinking, his lips pressed together in a line as if he was trying to fight how he felt, unless he really didn’t like what he saw. Insecurity surged as he swallowed hard and stopped my fingers from moving. He wasn’t happy. He was… what was that look?
“I’m sorry,” he said slowly, directing my fingers under the water, as I slowly realised what had him so out of sorts.
“Stag… did you come?”
He nodded, his shoulders sagging. “I tried not to, but you looked so fucking sexy when you came, and I… I got it all over you.”
I glanced down, watching the water sluicing away his release. I hadn’t realised, because the water was so hot and somehow we’d moved out of it when things were happening, but he truly looked like he’d failed me because of it.
“Stag, it’s okay. It’s good. I wanted you to come. It was the whole point.”
He poured soap into his hand and started washing my stomach and legs, like he was horrified at the fact that he came on me.
I caught his hands and waited until he was looking at me, because even though he’d hear me, I needed to see my words land. To know he got it.
“I like the idea of you coming on me. It’s sexy. You get that, right?”
“Not really. I think we need to talk about this stuff, but after we’re showered.”
“Fine, okay. Let’s get out.”
We moved efficiently, Stag switching off the water and passing me the first towel, before he focused on drying himself.
His moves were sharp, almost aggressive, like he was mad at himself for something, and I had no idea what was going on in his head right now.
I really hoped he was about to tell me, because my imagination was offering suggestions that were freaking me out.
What if he didn’t like me, or my body? What if he was humouring me?
What if he felt like I was pushing him into things he didn’t want?
What if he wanted to stop exploring his sexuality with me?
The time it took to get dry, dressed, brush our teeth, and get downstairs with our lukewarm coffees, seemed like forever, but it was probably only ten minutes.
Stag found a pack of chocolate biscuits in the cupboard and set them in front of me as we both sat, staring for a moment at each other, like we didn’t know where to start. Maybe I could make this easier for him.
“Do you like me, Stag? Enough to be doing things with me? I don’t want to force you into anything.”
His jaw dropped, and he rubbed a hand over his face, falling back against the seat back as he kept his eyes on mine.
“That’s not the problem, Claudia. I really like you. More than like. I’m getting in too deep here, I’m feeling stuff I shouldn’t, and I don’t want to make assumptions here.”
Oh. I opened my mouth but he shook his head.
“The words part is where I fuck everything up. I get things wrong. I say things wrong. I mean to say one thing, and it comes out meaning something else, and I offend people. You’re the last person I ever want to upset or offend with my words.
Hell, I thought you not hearing me would mean I couldn’t, but I get that I was dumb for thinking that.
It still all comes down to communication, and that’s where I fuck up. ”
Oh the poor man. No wonder he was struggling with all of this. We were essentially skipping the communication stage, probably for more than the reason of my hearing loss, and it was leaving him insecure, or confused.
“Can I tell you what I’m thinking?”
He nodded vigorously, waving a hand at me to continue.
“Please. I need complete openness here, even if it fucking destroys me. I can’t be getting this wrong. Not with you. Never you.”
I smiled and reached for his hand, something he gave instantly, without thinking or consideration.
Without confusion or fear. Maybe the physical side was easier in that way.
He didn’t have to think, just feel. I could see that relying on that side of things was leaving him overthinking everything though.
“I like you, Stag. Really like you. I don’t do these things with men I don’t like.
I don’t move in with a man because I just feel like it, but I also didn’t move in with you out of necessity.
Do you get that? It was a choice. A choice I made because I want to be with you.
You make me smile. You make me laugh, and you make me feel safe.
You make me feel protected, but not in the intrusive way she was.
This doesn’t mean I’m using you or anything.
Just that I chose you, when I could have gone back home to my parents, or found somewhere else to live.
Being with you makes me feel like I’m not missing a sense, because you’re filling up the quieter parts of my life. I like that.”