Chapter Twenty-Four
Ithink I preferred beating a guy to death, and I hated that like you wouldn’t believe, but sitting in a car with a guy I barely know, staring at a building across from us? Dull as fuck.
“So this is all we do?”
The guy sighed, dragging a hand through his girly blonde hair. He seemed to sigh a lot, but was that me, or just him being an annoying fucker?
“You’ve asked me that four fucking times now, Stag. Yes. This is all we fucking do for now. We’re waiting to see who comes and goes, and so far, you’ve spent most of the last two hours whining. How about we have some quiet time?”
Whoa. Someone’s pissy. His name was Danno, which made me think of Hawaii 5-0, but the guy was nowhere near as much fun.
“But like, literally, a camera could do this. They pay two guys to waste their fucking evening sitting here like this? That’s bullshit.”
Danno groaned, ignoring me, or pretending to at least. He was so nice when we met, smiling at me, re-introducing himself.
Not acting like a mobster bastard at all.
Almost gentlemanly, but he’s a pissy little bitch.
Well, until he reminded me that the last time we met, he had a knife to my throat, and dragged me into this hell.
“I mean, I could be at home with my lady, you know. She’s been abandoned in a place she barely knows, while I sit here in a fucking car breathing in your farts, and dying a slow boring death.”
This time he laughed, shaking his head at me.
“First off, I haven’t farted, so you’re probably breathing in your own. Thanks for that. Also, you think I wouldn’t rather be with my sweet lady too? You’re not the only one who’s got someone waiting for him, although…” he trailed off and I groaned, because I had a feeling I knew what was coming.
“Just don’t.”
“So they were right? I mean, they’re rarely wrong. They read people really fucking well. It’s actually pretty annoying, but it’s saved lives before, so I’m not knocking it. When’s the big night, man? You gonna make it special?”
Fuck me. “I’m not a fucking virgin!”
He chuckled, nodding his head as he kept his eyes firmly on the door we were watching.
“Sure. Nothing like protesting too much, but you should know, there’s no shame in it.
If you really like this lady, you get to have a special first time.
That counts so much. Most of us wasted that on the first willing pussy we could get.
I wish Carla was my first and only. I mean, I’m her only, obviously.
Never letting her go. Still, would have been great to have only been with her. She’s my perfect fit.”
Fuck it. I’m asking. I don’t want anyone to know my personal shit, but I’m stuck in this fucking car with him for the next five or six hours, and at least he’s talking now.
“Perfect fit as in? Like a physical fit thing?”
He side-eyed me briefly. “You’re very literal at times, do you know that?”
So he thinks he’s gonna shrink me now? Fuck that.
“I’m just curious, like did you mean something other than the physical stuff.”
“You mean like, am I a kinky fucker who found the perfect woman for me? Who fits into my kinks and lets me be myself?”
Holy fuck. I’d definitely found the right guy to talk about this shit with. Plus he didn’t know the club guys well, and probably wouldn’t be speaking to them. If we were lucky, he’d never have to meet up with them again.
“Whoa. I mean, sure.”
He briefly took his eyes off the prize to glare at me.
“That’s none of your business, but hypothetically, finding someone who matches your kinks makes life easier. So, Stag… Are you kinky? You into power exchanges, or just some dick who thinks kink means spanking, and whips and chains?”
I had a feeling there was no right answer to this. Clearly he’d had these conversations with idiots like me before, and I was likely to make things much worse anyway, but since we were talking sex stuff, why not?
“I don’t know what I’m into, man. I’m finding my way.”
“Have you asked what she’s into? That matters too, you know. More than what you’re into, her boundaries matter. She doesn’t like it, you don’t even try it.”
Okay, clearly this guy’s thing is stating the fucking obvious. I mean, does he think I’m some asshole or something? He’d be half right, I guess. Everyone else thought that of me.
I picked up the bottle of water he’d handed me on arrival, with the express instruction of ‘hydrate slowly, and when you’re done, you have a toilet ready and waiting’, followed by the even firmer instruction of not using it as a toilet IN his car.
I sipped for a moment, staring at the fucking door that hadn’t opened or been approached in two and a half damn hours.
I felt like I’d had my time royally wasted, like it was yet more testing or hazing by those fuckers, but I had a feeling they wouldn’t waste the knife man’s time on a prank along with me.
“I just wanna do things right, that’s all. She’s very open about the sex stuff, and I’m worried I’ll mess it up.”
Danno nodded slowly, doing the thing he’s done several times since we sat here, digging a small curved knife out of his pocket and stroking the blade, spinning it on his thumb. It was an idle gesture that made me want to get out of the car before he took my eye out.
“Being worried about that stuff is good, because maybe you’ll do your best to make it good.
Don’t overthink though. Don’t get in your head, and ruin how good it feels.
Enjoy it, and make sure she’s enjoying it more.
That’s key. Always give her at least double the pleasure you get, if not more.
Always put her first, and if she’s got fantasies she’s willing to talk about, don’t react immediately.
Take a moment to think about it. It takes a lot of trust to tell your partner these things, so don’t dismiss them without considering if you’re able to deliver what she wants.
Never fucking laugh at her sexual wants or needs.
It’s not a joke, especially not to her, and you’ll end things before they begin. ”
Holy shit, that was so much fucking info to try and think about, but the gist of it was this; treat her like a fucking goddess, and give her everything I’m capable of giving her. That was already the fucking plan, so maybe I wasn’t so dumb after all.
He fell silent, letting me absorb his advice, and I slid down in the seat a little, fiddling with the bottle lid as thoughts crowded my mind.
I could go in with the best of intentions and still let her down.
I hadn’t had sex before, and the first time I did, I wouldn’t last. No matter how well I’d edged myself while watching porn over the years, it’d be impossible to hold back.
“Stag, at the risk of poking my nose in, which I think I’ve done pretty well so far, go easy on yourself.
You’ve found the woman you want, I can tell that just by looking at you.
You’re in love. Just remember, in the bedroom, things don’t always go to plan, and in the moment, it can feel like the end of the world, but it isn’t.
Talk it out. Admit your own mistakes, and let her own up to any of hers.
Don’t place blame, but most importantly, don’t let it eat you up. ”
“When I go off early because I’m so fucking pathetically inexperienced, you mean?”
My tone was aggressive, but he just lifted a shoulder, a delicate gesture that oddly fitted him, even though he was a deadly fucker.
“It happens. Every man has been there at some point, experienced or not. So if, or when it happens, just put your focus on her. Give her the pleasure you had, but make it more intense. Orgasms are the best apologies out there, trust me.” He shot me a wicked grin then.
“I’m good with knives, but I’m way better at making my woman come, trust me.”
I believed the fucker.
Claudia
Stag came home tired, and grumpy. He was hungry, thirsty, and wanted to shower before he touched me.
Not because he got bloody or messy, but because he had ‘stagnated in his own fucking sweat for hours in a fucking cage’.
Once he was out of the shower, I pressed a cold beer into his hand, and followed that up with a plate of spaghetti and meatballs I’d whipped up in the kitchen for dinner.
I’d had mine a few hours ago, but I could tell he needed looking after right now.
“You cooked for me?” His eyes were wide as he practically gazed up at me. “You really cooked for me?”
I nodded, sitting beside him, and waiting while he tucked in like he was ravenous. He said something in between bites that I couldn’t decipher, because he didn’t enunciate properly with his lips, but I figured it was inconsequential or he’d have made more effort to tell me.
I curled up in the seat, facing him with my legs tucked under me, and my elbow on the back of the sofa to prop up my head.
He devoured his food in about four minutes and sat back with his hand on his stomach.
I wondered if he’d made sounds of pleasure as he ate.
Did he moan at the flavour? Did he sigh as it filled him up?
I rarely missed being able to hear, but it turns out I was very invested in his sounds of pleasure.
“Thanks, love, that was amazing. I feel better already.” He turned in his seat too, cradling his beer in one hand as he took my hand with the other.
“I’m sorry I had to abandon you for so long.
I have a feeling you don’t say no to those guys.
” It worried me that he was caught up with them, but at least tonight hadn’t been something dangerous.
I felt like he was someone I wanted to protect, just like he did for me.
Maybe because I was already seeing him as mine.
“It’s okay. I should apologise though. I think I offended your friends earlier.”
Stag frowned, glancing at the empty room before he looked back at me.
“Rocket and Harley? Their old ladies?”
Old ladies, such a curious term for beautiful young women.
“They annoyed me, and I made them leave. I’m sorry. I hope it won’t cause issues for you.”
Instead of worried, or nervous, he suddenly looked angry, but it didn’t appear to be directed at me, as he squeezed my hand gently.
“What did they do, or say? I’ll fucking-”
“Stop.”
His lips pressed together in a line, and I knew he wanted to say more, but I didn’t want him angry at his friends, his brothers.
“They’re quite judgemental when it comes to you. I think they triggered some kind of mama bear thing, but they had it coming. They don’t try hard enough with you. They owe you more than that.”
Stag blinked slowly, his eyes looking almost glassy for a moment.
“You… you stuck up for me?”
My turn to squeeze his hand, as I edged a little closer to him. He looked like he’d prefer a hug, and so would I.
“I will always stick up for you. They’re your family, and they need to do better. You deserve better, Stag.”
He swallowed, looking down at our hands for a moment, taking a deep breath that made his chest rise more than usual.
A sign that he was trying to compose himself.
A sign that my words touched him, because it was becoming painfully obvious to me that nobody ever tried with him. He just needed people to care.
“They’re good people,” he finally said, as he lifted his head again, “they do good, they do so much good. So I get misunderstood now and then, it doesn’t mean they don’t love and respect me as their brother.”
“They can always try harder, Stag. I think they’re used to just judging you instead of bothering to know you.”
He shrugged a single shoulder. “It’s fine. I’m not easy to be around, I know. I’ll try harder.”
“That’s what I’m saying. You don’t need to try harder, they do!”
Stag smiled. “I love how you stick up for me, love. It makes me feel like I matter, like I’m not just some bellend everyone hates.”
I reached up and covered his lips, tutting at him.
“Nobody hates you, Stag, but they all need to make more of an effort to understand you. I’ll make sure they do. You have me in your corner now.”
He tried to speak so I used my fingers to pinch his lips shut, giggling as they quirked up at the edges.
I could feel he was trying to talk, but obviously I’d never know what he was saying. It was probably something like ‘what are you doing’ or ‘are you insane’ though.
“This isn’t the time for talking. It’s late. Let’s go to bed, and we can do stuff, or just sleep wrapped around each other. As long as you’re close to me, I can sleep just fine.”
He gently lifted my fingers away from his lips.
“You don’t normally?”
I slid across the sofa cushion and stood up, reaching for his hand.
“I’m not great with complete darkness, because I already can’t hear, so it’s another sense gone, but it feels safe when I’m with you.”
Stag’s face fell as he stood up, tilting my chin up to see his lips.
“You… why didn’t you tell me? I didn’t even think about that. I’m such a fucking idiot.”