Chapter Twenty-Five
Ifelt like the world’s biggest bellend, because of course she’d struggle with feeling like her sight was gone too.
Why didn’t I think of that? Why didn’t I get my head out of my ass and consider how she’d feel?
I just put the light off and relaxed, because that’s how I sleep, but I’m not a me now.
I’m half of a ‘we’. That means I have to get my head out of my ass.
“Stop beating yourself up. You didn’t know. I actually have a nightlight I use at home, but I didn’t need it. I felt safe with you. You’re my ears now.”
I started to follow her to bed, stopping with a groan when my phone buzzed on the coffee table by the sofa. If it was the fucking Bennetts… but it wasn’t. It was the Pres.
Fuck me. Church? It’d been too fucking long, but I guess that meant at least one room at the new clubhouse was ready.
“Everything okay?”
I nodded, bringing the phone with me to bed. “Church tomorrow, that’s all.”
She turned away and then paused.
“Church? You go to church? I had no idea you were religious. I’m not, I’m sorry.”
I tugged on her hand until she faced me, because I refused to make any more mistakes with her comfort.
“Church is what we call club meetings. It’s not an actual church. Just a room full of guys in leathers whinging about stuff.”
“Oh,” she giggled, “I feel a little silly now.”
“I’d rather make you feel something else, love. If you’re up for it?”
She glanced down at my sweatpants and bit her lip.
“Looks like you are.”
“You looked at me, so yeah, that’s all it takes,” I said when she returned her gaze from my stiff cock.
“Let’s go to bed!” She was suddenly tugging me along with her, like she was excited to get us upstairs and naked. Were we getting naked? Would she expect me to wear something in bed? Why the fuck was this stuff so hard for me to figure out?
She stripped off in the bedroom, and hurried naked to the bathroom, so I stripped down to my boxers, and sat on the bed to wait.
By the time I’d used the bathroom myself, she was fast asleep, and you know what? That was fine with me. Sleeping with her was fulfilling enough. Sex would be great when it happened, but every moment like this was building something far more powerful.
It was our first time in Church officially since the site was demolished. We’d had a few get togethers at Harley’s shop, and more times here on site, but it wasn’t the same.
The new Church wasn’t finished, but it was so close. The furniture was all in, and we all filed in through the new door, with the beautifully carved Phoenix logo, and took our usual seats. I was a few away from Harley, and opposite Rocket.
“Firstly, brothers, welcome to our new Church. We have a few finishing touches to smooth out, but it’s fucking amazing to be in here at last.” It was, and it felt like the start of something special, because the old place had been a real shitstain and needed to be rebuilt over.
“That was reason one for calling everyone together, and because what I wanted to do was thank each and every one of you for the incredible hard work and long hours you’ve been putting in to help get this place ready. For eighteen guys, I think we’ve absolutely done ourselves proud here.”
“Says the guy who did fuck all,” Rocket muttered, grinning when Micro shot him a glare, but the fucker laughed anyway, because he knew he was right.
“Sure, I was more in a supervisory capacity, but the fact is, we didn’t even need the external crews as much as we’d expected, because you all dug in and gave it your all. I’m so fucking proud of our club. I hope you feel the same way.”
I glanced across the rest of my brothers and did a double take when I realised Henley was in his seat. Where the fuck did he come from? He hadn’t come back to the house since he left, and he was meant to be away for a few more days yet.
He caught my eye and winked, which was creepy as fuck from a brother. Why the hell was he here? Also I needed to tell him to never wink at me again like that.
Harley was speaking, something about pride in the club or some shit, but I was still confused about Henley’s presence. I mean Church was mandatory, after all, but he was away, wasn’t he?
“How the fuck are you here?” I blurted out and everyone fell silent to stare at me.
“Uh, I was nearby. Sorry, Pres.”
Micro snorted, sitting back in his seat. “Why don’t you do your update, Henley, then we can move onto the other news. Since you were such a trooper for coming back from your holiday for this.”
Update? From Henley?
Henley rolled his eyes at him, then pulled some paperwork from his cut and unfolded it.
“Okay, so the beds are being delivered for all rooms in five days, and additional furnishings the day after. I wanted beds in first, so it’s easier to move the smaller items in after.
That means painting should probably be done by then, and carpets definitely need to be laid in time.
” He tucked the paper back in his pocket and nodded at the Pres.
“Henley has very generously been sharing his contacts with us, and assisting with the arrangements. You’ll still have to supply your personal basics, but each room will be kitted out with a new king size bed, sofa, and chair.
Also a dresser for your shit. That’s coming from our budget thanks to our generous benefactors.
The rest is on you, but like he said, carpeting and decorating is a must. We have the carpet fitters coming in the day after tomorrow, so the last touches need to be done by then, and all the decorating crap moved out so they can do their thang.
After that, we’ll finish any decorating, being damn careful not to spill paint on our brand new fucking carpets.
So… Bring your significant others, because we’ll be decorating our asses off over the next five days. ”
Nice. Maybe it was a good thing my day job was literally a thing of the past. I’d have the time to help, but would Claudia want to join in?
“Okay, so the other big news is this. We will have a new brother joining us in a few weeks from the OG chapter. He’s looking for a change of scenery, and I know we’ll make him feel welcome.”
“Who?” I asked, almost in tandem with Rocket, because that meant it was someone we knew well.
“Tommy.”
We both grinned wide, and Rocket added a ‘fuck yes!’
“Is he gonna work on site, Pres? Tell me he’s gonna be.”
Micro lifted both thumbs with a big grin. “Damn straight he is. We have our favourite fucking chef coming to stay.” Thank fuck for that. I’d missed Tommy, and his cooking, and I had a feeling Claudia would love it too.
Once time was called, and people started filing out, Micro called out my name.
“Stick around a mo, brother.” Fuck. Still, Harley didn’t stay, just nodded at me on his way out, so that said it probably wasn’t me being in trouble. For once at least.
“Sit your ass back down,” he said when I watched the last fucker escape, and I pondered my options.
“Why?”
“Jesus, just sit down. How’s your old lady settling in?”
I dropped heavily into the seat he’d offered. The one Grease usually sat in at his right hand.
“She’s not… I mean… what’s it to you?”
His brow creased a little and he leaned his elbows on the huge table’s surface.
“No need to be antagonistic, brother. I’m genuinely interested, so I’m checking in.”
I examined the table surface, smoothing my fingers along it, all tactics he didn’t miss, because I was stalling and any idiot would see it.
“Stag, everything okay?”
“Is it ever? I mean, I’m way out of my comfort zone with her, in that posh house, with the new bosses. Tell me how I’m supposed to just fucking say ‘yeah, everything’s fine’. I don’t know if it is.”
Micro nodded, getting up to use the coffee machine they’d installed in the fucking room, like this was some fancy conference room, instead of somewhere meatheaded bikers hang out to shoot the shit.
“Here. Talk to me, brother. I’ve got nothing but time for you.”
Why the hell did that make me want to cry like a pussy and tell him all my troubles?
Claudia
The morning without Stag was long, but I had work to catch up on, and for the first time, I was doing that without Marissa sitting beside me, or across from me, and it was weird how much I missed that.
When we were just hanging out, being sisters, it was the best thing in the world. What happened to twist her up so much that I became something she wanted to control and manipulate?
I was supposed to be concentrating on an insurance brochure I was editing, but my mind kept wandering, which made me decide to take a break, catch up on emails, and update my financials, because sometimes that worked, and other times I just achieved nothing. Today I had to achieve something.
There was an email waiting in my inbox from Marissa. No, wait. Two. More. Eleven emails. All sent in the last twenty-four hours.
We’d blocked her from contact via the replacement phone the club had provided, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t reach me by email, because I didn’t even think to block her there.
I should, but maybe that was cruel. Shouldn’t I leave her with one avenue of communication? She was my twin, for god’s sake.
Even messed up, stressed out, and pressured, she was still my twin sister. She wanted the best for me. She loved me.
The first email hit me like a fist.
Claud
I can’t believe you’re doing this to me. I’m your fucking twin. You’re cutting me out of your life? How fucking dare you?! You think I can’t find you? You think I don’t know where you are at all fucking times?
You need to get your slutty ass back home before I call the police and register you as a missing person!
Mar x
A quick glance at the other emails told me she was just spouting more of the same, over and over. Hate. Frustration. Entitlement. Anger.
My twin sister hated me. It wasn’t love at all. This was hate. This was animosity and cruelty.
My fingers were trembling as I reached for my phone and tapped the button to call Stag. The call showed as answered, and that’s when I froze. I couldn’t hear him! What was I doing? I should have messaged him, but this felt too urgent, I was too panicked.
He was probably freaking out, because he knew I couldn’t hear. But dammit, I could speak.
“Stag? I can’t hear you of, course, but if you’re there… I need you. M… Marissa’s been in contact, and I’m... Oh god, please come home!”
I didn’t hang up the phone, keeping the line open for comfort more than anything.
I needed to get some apps installed to help me with things like this.
I hadn’t bothered because… because I was suddenly relying on Stag to make me feel safe and protected.
I’d gone from relying on Marissa to relying on him, and at what point did I stop looking after myself?
So his club brothers supplied a phone, did that mean I couldn’t be proactive and add the apps I needed to function?
When did I go from being as independent as possible, to trusting others with the basics that I could supply for myself.
My god. No wonder my sister was being driven insane.
She wasn’t just trying to control me, she was trying to cope with my demands and needs, because I wasn’t doing that for myself.
Did that make it my fault, instead of hers? Or both?