Chapter 11
11
E mbarrassed, Bree took a step back and brought the back of her hand up to her lips. It was too easy to get lost in Kade, to get lost in feelings that threatened to overwhelm good judgment. How could being with the man she loved be wrong? This little one growing inside her picked that moment to execute a kick that knocked the wind out of her. She bent forward, grabbed her stomach, and bit down on her bottom lip. Point taken. Her life was no longer about what she wanted. She had a child to consider, a child who deserved a full-time dad. Those were the exact words Zeke used.
Kade made a quick move toward her, and a low growl came from the corner of the room. Rinty. Was he being protective? As much as Bree appreciated the gesture, and she did, hurting Kade would only aid a killer. An involuntary shiver rocked her at the last word.
“It’s okay, Rinty,” she soothed as Kade froze mid-step. “He’s not going to hurt me.”
“This is a good sign,” Kade admitted. The man was an expert at not giving away his emotions. In this case, a hint of admiration mixed with a healthy dose of fear laced his tone.
“That he sees me as weak and needing protection?” Bree asked.
“In your current condition, it would be very difficult to outrun a killer and he didn’t like me moving too fast,” he said. His honesty hit her square in the chest. “And you’re not weak; you’re vulnerable right now. There’s a difference.”
He made good points.
Her self-control had taken a momentary vacation a few minutes ago. Rinty hadn’t made a peep when Kade had kissed her. She’d welcomed the contact. This was different. She was in pain and he moved too quickly.
She said a few more words meant to soothe the dog when he got up and moved beside her. Did he have a sixth sense about the pregnancy? Did his training kick in when he perceived a threat?
Either way, she wouldn’t complain because it meant he had her back. Between Kade and Rinty, she was beginning to feel like she might make it through this nightmare in one piece. She rubbed her belly as she said to Rinty, “You’re going to be a good guard dog, aren’t you?” He’d already wormed his way into her heart.
The rigid way in which he stood, ears forward and gaze intent, said he would bite if provoked. This could cause a problem if he viewed the baby as a threat—or as the baby got older—his or her playmates. She filed the information under the category of future problems. Right now, she would take him for the gift he truly was and, for once, not overthink the situation.
Rinty deserved the best possible life. He’d served his country, and now it was his turn to be spoiled.
As the pain relaxed, so did he.
“ Guter hund ,” Kade said. “ Sitz! ”
Rinty sat.
“Impressive,” Bree said. “Since when do you speak German?”
“I learned a few words when I was on a mission with a K9 and his handler once,” he said. She knew better than to ask for details. Kade wouldn’t be able to share that part of his life. When she thought about it, asking someone to go on life-and-death missions without ever being able to talk about them afterward must take a toll, mentally and emotionally. She understood the need to keep the information secret but wondered about the burden military personnel carried long after the fighting was done.
“Thank you both for your service,” she said, and she meant it.
Kade’s gaze intensified for a split second, causing warmth to spread through her. The man was easy on the eyes and had the kind of focus that made him good at everything he did. Very good. Exceptionally good. His hands had done things to her body that she…
This seemed like a good time to shake those thoughts out of her mind.
“You’re welcome.” Those words came out with a smirk that almost convinced her that he could read her mind. Almost.
As for Rinty, he had obedience training. They could build on that.
Kade’s grin faded as he motioned toward Rinty. “You should be the one to feed him next time. It’ll get him used to the idea that all good things come from you.”
“Aren’t you worried about how he reacted to you a few minutes ago?”
“Not really. He was doing his job, protecting you. That’s all I care about right now.” Rinty had, in fact, been ready to take a bite out of Kade. “I’ll give him treats and sit with him. He listened to my command, so that’s a good sign he won’t act aggressively toward me as long as he thinks I’m not hurting you.”
Kade went to work fixing a pot of coffee in an old-fashioned machine that was straight out of the nineties. It spit and sputtered, making an entire pot at one time. “Would you like a cup?”
Bree rubbed her belly. “Yes, but I can’t have one.”
“Damn,” Kade said, twisting his face in sympathy. “How long has it been since you’ve had caffeine?”
Before pregnancy, she hadn’t imagined her life without coffee, either. She realized he was keeping her talking about anything unrelated to what had happened to put her in the hospital. Then, there was Zeke. A mental break was not only welcomed but also needed for the sake of the baby.
“Too long,” she said. “Counting the exact number of months would be too depressing.”
Kade gave a knowing look. She smiled at the thought of him attempting to go an entire day without caffeine. He must have. Right?
“Surely you’ve gone without caffeine,” she said.
“Coffee. Yes. Caffeine. Hell no.”
“How?” She moved to the table and took a seat across from the one he claimed. Given her body’s reaction to him, she needed to put as much distance and space between them as possible without being obvious. The man didn’t need to know just how warm certain parts of her became when he was in proximity.
He pulled a tin out of his pocket. “These are magic.”
“I should have known you would have figured out a way to always have caffeine on hand.” Again, she laughed. It had been far too long since she’d smiled, let alone had a reason to laugh. And losing Zeke had convinced her that she might never laugh again.
“You know me too well.” Those words had barely left the man’s mouth when he shot a look that said he regretted being too familiar with each other. Keeping an emotional distance was not only smart but necessary. The baby shifted as if punctuating the sentence with an exclamation mark.
She must have winced because Kade’s face morphed into outright concern.
“Everything okay?” he asked, white-knuckling his coffee mug.
“The baby moved,” she said. Then, she added, “Do you want to feel it?”
Much to her surprise, Kade came around the table in a heartbeat. “Can I?”
“Give me your hand.” Touch was necessary even though it counted as mistake number two.
He did. She placed the flat of his large palm over the spot on her belly where the baby could be felt.
As though responding to its father’s touch, the baby shifted again.
“Whoa!” Kade’s eyes were saucers.
She forced her gaze away from the pale blue irises hooded by thick, raven-colored eyelashes. Black hair with pale blue eyes couldn’t have been sexier on that carved-from-granite face. The man was perfection. Even the new inch-long scar above his eyebrow made him more beautiful. There were other marks on his hand. Raised, white skin that would forever remind him of missions with Zeke.
“That’s amazing,” he whispered with reverence in his voice. And then he focused those baby blues on her. “Boy or girl?”
“I don’t know yet,” she admitted.
“You haven’t found out the sex? Why not?”
Could she tell him it hadn’t felt right to know without the baby’s father standing beside her? Could she admit that it somehow seemed unfair? That she hadn’t been able to say yes to finding out?
That she’d wanted it to be Kade in the room with her and not her best friend?
The admission caused a wave of guilt to crash through her.
“What happened?” Kade asked.
She shot a questioning look.
“You just tensed up like crazy,” he said. “Was that a contraction?”
“No.” She didn’t want him to worry. She also couldn’t tell him what she’d been thinking that had caused her body to react. “It’s okay. Happens sometimes.” How was that for a generic response?
“Is that normal?” he asked, a line wrinkling his forehead.
Nothing about this was normal. Normal wasn’t on the table. If life were normal, she wouldn’t have a serial killer hunting her.
“Tell me more about what Travis said about the victim who slipped out of Reaper’s hands,” she said, hoping he didn’t call her out on the change in topic.
Kade moved back to his chair. His absence next to her was felt immediately.
It’s safer this way. The baby kicked harder this time.
Bree would smile if the conversation hadn’t shifted to the person who wanted to kill her.
“Travis said the bastard stalked the victim and then punished her for slipping out of his hands once.” Kade’s grip on the mug was so tight by the time he finished the sentence that he had to force his fingers to relax before he broke the ceramic piece and burned his hand with hot coffee.
Bree shivered.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“Don’t be.” She recovered a casual look after rolling her shoulders. “I need to know what I’m facing.”
She didn’t need to be facing a serial killer at all.
“I’m due any time now.”
“Yes,” he said, uncertain where this was headed.
“What do you think about taking the baby when he or she comes until this case is resolved?” She didn’t say until the bastard was locked behind bars or until she was safe. Had she resigned to the Reaper finding her?
“It won’t be necessary.”
Bree shot him a look that said he wasn’t being reasonable.
“I’m not leaving your side, Bree. Not unless you specifically ask me to. I thought we were clear on that point.”
“We are, but—”
“I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you and the baby safe.” It was a promise he intended to keep even with that all-consuming guilt returning. No, especially because of that guilt. He might not have been able to keep Zeke alive, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t be able to protect Bree. “You’re smart, and we know what we’re faced with. Together, we can do this. Besides, I think it would be bad for the baby not to be with its mother in the hours and days it first enters the world.”
Kade knew all about mothers who abandoned their children for their own safety. Even when it was necessary, a kid was still devastated by what he or she would see as a choice to leave. It wasn’t until years later that Kade had realized there’d been no real decision to make. It had been a matter of survival. He couldn’t blame his mother for needing to go.
“You’re probably right. I just want to do everything I can to keep this little one safe.”
“I’m not sure if anyone has already told you this, Bree. You’re going to be an amazing mother.”
She blinked a couple of times like she was trying to keep tears from leaking from the corners of her eyes. Hells bells. He hadn’t meant to cause her to cry.
“How can you be so sure?” she asked.
“You just are. Look at how protective you are over the baby before it’s even born. You would sacrifice yourself if it meant keeping the little one safe.”
Bree didn’t speak for a long moment. Then, she said, “Thank you, Kade. I was so afraid to tell you about the pregnancy.”
“Am I such an awful human being?”
“No, it’s not that,” she quickly responded. “I was afraid you’d think I did this on purpose to trap you or something.”
Kade cracked a smile. He couldn’t help it. “No one in their right mind would give up coffee to trap me.”
Bree laughed. The sound broke through the tension that had suddenly been building.
“Besides, you’re the one doing all the heavy lifting with the pregnancy. You didn’t do this to yourself. That’s not how babies are made.” He paused. “I have to admit, in the blissful haze of making love to you, I was afraid I’d forgotten to slip on a condom once. The fear was confirmed after hearing the news I was becoming a dad.” Another pause. “I didn’t bring it up at the time because I thought, What are the odds this one time will yield a pregnancy? ”
“Same here,” she admitted, more of that tension eased on her beautiful face. “Turns out, neither of us should spend all our money at the racetrack.”
Now, it was his turn to laugh.
“I’ve never been much of a gambler,” he said.
“Still don’t like losing?” she asked. “I remember that time you lost in freeze tag on the playground in first grade. You quit the team.”
“I might have been a sore loser as a kid.” He could give her that. “I’m a grown man now. And there’s no way I would consider that child a loss.”
He surprised himself by saying those words out loud.
They were true. No denying it. But the momentary look of relief on her face stirred places he’d rather leave dormant.
Could he protect her and his own heart at the same time?