CHAPTER SIX
– HELENA –
Lust. Pure lust and a deep craving to have this man is making my whole body tingle. It’s as if the man hit me with an electric charge.
“I’m ready to leave,” I tell him.
He laces his fingers with mine and doesn’t waste another second when he pulls me from the room. The hallway is empty, no butler in sight. I almost bump into Ballard’s back when he abruptly stops to give me another toe-curling kiss.
Dazed, I watch as he grabs my coat, opens the front door and tugs my hand to make me follow him.
I throw one last glance over my shoulder and notice Royce standing in the hallway, staring at us.
Not knowing what to do, I raise my hand to wave and give him a small smile.
I get a nod in return right before we slip out of the door.
Ballard as a partner in this sting is exactly what I needed, but he’s also a complete distraction. Normally, I would stay longer at the party while it seems Ballard ushering me out the door makes our fake relationship believable.
He opens the door for me and quickly rounds the vehicle to get behind the wheel. It’s a long drive to get back up the mountain. My nerves are shattered because the brain fog this man put me in when he kissed me has cleared a bit.
Once we get back to his cabin it will lead to sex.
It’s not that hard to guess with the blow job deal we have in place, along with the heated kisses.
Before I was kidnapped there wouldn’t be any second guesses; I’d be jumping at the chance to have sex.
Now? Insecurities are yanking my nerves into a knot I can’t seem to unravel.
Sex without attachment or emotion is as casual as it gets. It’s stress relief, a self-esteem boost, pleasure in the moment without strings attached. Yet, kissing Ballard is heightened by chemistry which tells me fucking the man would be a completely different experience.
It makes me aware of everything, and I’m still fully clothed. What would happen if I’m naked. If he sees me. All of me? I’m not ready to answer questions my scars will undeniably draw out once I bare myself to him.
The only thing I can think of to defuse the situation is to give him the blow job and be done with it. Pleasure him and end the sexual tension. From the few one-night stands I’ve had the sexual tension is drained once the guy blows his load.
I glance Ballard’s way. His eyes are on the road and I let my gaze drop to his crotch. He has an impressive bulge and it makes me curious. Reaching out, I place my hand on his package to shamelessly cop a feel.
Ballard’s fingers wrap around my wrist and our gaze collides. If I can’t allow myself to have sex with this man yet, I want to at least have a taste of him. The desire flowing through me is what I allow him to read openly on my face.
His gaze returns to the road in front of us while he keeps my hand in place as he grinds his hardening cock against me.
My breath catches and when he releases me, I don’t think twice and start to tug at his belt.
A few breaths later, I slide the zipper down and free his hard length from the confinements of his pants and boxers.
All I can do is stare as I slowly pump his dick. The dim lighting in the car gives me enough to take him in while the thick ring gleams. Never in all my life have I seen a man with a pierced cock, let alone held one.
Intrigued, I lean in and flick it with my tongue. The salty taste of his precum makes me moan and I take him deeper into my mouth. He smells clean, spicy, with a hint of all man. I feel his fingers sliding through my hair, gently pressing down to make me take more of him.
I eagerly comply, feeling myself getting wet the harder I suck his cock. How can this turn me on more than during the sex I had in the past? Deciding not to dwell on things and simply live in the moment, I greedily suck and pump. I want to give him the same pleasure I feel building inside my veins.
Alternating between flicking his piercing and rubbing the underside of the head of his dick, I begin to squeeze harder and moan around him. His breathing picks up and he’s fisting my hair, guiding my head by shoving me down and pulling me off his length.
My nose is suddenly pressing against the trimmed patch of hair above his dick when he roughly keeps me there as he starts to unload. Warm pulsing cum flows down my throat and I desperately swallow, wanting every damn drop.
Lazily, I keep licking until his hand in my hair loosens.
Sitting back in my chair, I quickly wipe my mouth to clear it of any drool and sperm drops I might have missed.
Risking a glance in his direction, I watch him from the corner of my eye when he tucks himself back into his pants.
There. Job done, favor cashed in. But damn if I don’t feel horny as hell.
I rub my thighs together in an effort to release some of the pulsing in my clit.
Not that it helps anything, dammit. It would be better if I could reach down and finger myself to an orgasm.
I groan at the thought and turn my head to stare out the window.
This was a bad idea, thinking I could diffuse the heat between us with a blow job to prevent sex.
A gasp rips from me when I feel his hand between my legs.
It quickly turns into a moan when his finger presses against my clit.
He moves up and I slightly pull down my pants.
I’m too far gone to think about his reaction if he can feel my scars there.
With the darkness of the night surrounding us, and Ballard’s gaze locked on the windshield, I feel safe enough to give him the access he needs.
Oh, who am I kidding? I freaking need his fingers inside me right now. I bite my lip when his thick, callused fingers caress my pussy. One long finger easily enters me while another trails the slickness up to rub my clit.
I’m in heaven. It’s been too damn long since I’ve experienced an orgasm. Touches, caresses, sweet and tender attention from a man...the last time a man had his hand between my legs he was holding a knife.
The bucket with ice cold water to rip me from the moment is almost there, and I barely manage to slam the door on those memories. This is not the time. I’ve worked for months to be able to shift my mind in another direction, and right now I want pleasure.
“Yes,” I whisper when he pinches my clit while I stare right at him.
I cling to his muscled forearm and let my head fall back as I close my eyes to sink into the blissful haze he’s giving me.
Ballard’s skillful fingers pump in and out of me while he stimulates my clit.
I’m completely overwhelmed and was already balancing on the edge when he came in my mouth.
It’s this memory that sends me over the edge.
“Ballard...oooohhh...yessss,” I moan loud and grind against his hand.
Bliss. Complete and utter pleasure flows through my veins and within this moment I let myself sag against the chair with my eyes closed.
I needed that. This might have been the one thing that never crossed my mind to do and yet is the only option to turn off life while completely living in the moment.
It might not make sense, but dammit...it does for me. There’s a smile on my face. It’s not forced or plastered on there to stop people from asking questions about how I’m doing. I won’t go as far to say I feel happy.
Taking a deep breath, I straighten my clothes and risk a glance in Ballard’s direction. He turns his head toward me, as if he feels my gaze on him, and shoots me a wink before focusing back on the road. Yeah, this deal between us is working out pretty damn good.
Deciding to focus on something else now that we’ve managed to defuse the sexual tension, I state, “Royce saw us leaving and it looked as if he bought our fake relationship.”
I can see a muscle jump in Ballard’s jaw right before he gives me a tight nod. His mouth is a straight line instead of the easy smile that was there a moment before. The shift of expression was because of my words.
Though, I have to wonder why. What we have between us is a fake relationship, even if what we just did was anything but fake. If anything, I’m already craving a repeat. Yet, the look he’s sporting right now tells me the option is off the table. Shit. Me and my big mouth.